Is it appropriate to tell a farang tourist that their behavior is inappropriate?

[Toby Jugg]

The only time it is acceptable to go topless (man and woman: latter not in Thailand) is on or very near a beach.

If I am unfortunate enough to find myself in a lift with a person not appropriately dressed I get out as soon as

possible and take the next one.

OP good on you for bringing this up. If you have the courage tell them politely, but do not expect a nice answer.

[marko kok prong]

The debate here seems to be whether you think you should do something or get involved... A better, or more interesting, question might be: what do thais expect you to do about it, if anything? If the answer to that question is "nothing", then maybe you as a fellow farang really have no business taking it upon yourself to say something.

Good point hawker,i would imagine the owner was not overly impressed but then she may have lost money if she asked them to leave,a sad reflection as Thailand as a whole,they will put up with just about anything if a few Baht comes out of it.

[Card]

You must have a pretty low opinion of Thais if you think they can't enforce their own rules or deal with offences themselves without a foreigner doing it for them.

I suggest you take you colonialist attitude and start packing

Crap. Thais don't complain about much - not even about their own countrymen. One thing I admire about Thais and there isn't much, is their tolerance. Doesn't mean they don't think and compare. Have you ever, or even imagined, a Thai going up to a farang and telling him to stop kissing and cuddling his gf on the BTS, or that his shirtlessness is inappropriate, or his manners atrocious? Almost never. But they think and sneer alright - in silence.

[ATF]

OP didn't say whether any Thais were actually offended or complained.

If the restaurant owner wishes to apply a dress code in her establishment the OP could help her write an appropriate sign to that effect.

Yeah must have been a shitty restaurant if they let people in with no shirts on. Sure it wasn't some noodle emporium full of Thai laborers knockin' back whisky?

Actually it was a really nice restaurant. I go there all the time and the ambiance is wonderful. I'm anything but a prude, and I only mentioned this because I felt it was inappropriate, and the sweet owner was put in an obvious uncomfortable position. I didn't say anything because I felt it wasn't my place to. I posed the question to see whether or not I am alone in my "mind your own business" stance. To tell the truth, and I'm not the tourist cop and never will be, but I thought they both needed a "wake up! you're in a nice Thailand restaurant and you're obviously offending the owner and staff" ZEN slap.

Well I am surprised if it was a nice restaurant. I totally disagree with the abusive responses you have received from some members. I didn't realize the "topless" crowd had migrated from Pattaya and Phuket to Chiang Mai. Unfortunately there is very little you can do in such a situation. You'll get the classic response if you try and educate them or even worse. Hope the owner spat on their food and kept them waiting for their change.

[Brian Robson]

If you don't wear a shirt, Thais just consider you poor and ignorant. This of course does not worry people with a 'phuk you' attitude!

I did once advise a farang who kept ruffling his Thai girlfriends head that it was inappropriate, and he took the advice in good stead.

[CraigSchuler]

You must be the moron that wai's all the spirit houses and wears 10 tons of amulets around his neck.

[ATF]

OP didn't say whether any Thais were actually offended or complained.

If the restaurant owner wishes to apply a dress code in her establishment the OP could help her write an appropriate sign to that effect.

Yeah must have been a shitty restaurant if they let people in with no shirts on. Sure it wasn't some noodle emporium full of Thai laborers knockin' back whisky?

Actually it was a really nice restaurant. I go there all the time and the ambiance is wonderful. I'm anything but a prude, and I only mentioned this because I felt it was inappropriate, and the sweet owner was put in an obvious uncomfortable position. I didn't say anything because I felt it wasn't my place to. I posed the question to see whether or not I am alone in my "mind your own business" stance. To tell the truth, and I'm not the tourist cop and never will be, but I thought they both needed a "wake up! you're in a nice Thailand restaurant and you're obviously offending the owner and staff" ZEN slap.

Well I am surprised if it was a nice restaurant. I totally disagree with the abusive responses you have received from some members. I didn't realize the "topless" crowd had migrated from Pattaya and Phuket to Chiang Mai. Unfortunately there is very little you can do in such a situation. You'll get the classic response if you try and educate them or even worse. Hope the owner spat on their food and kept them waiting for their change.

[DrTuner]

The OP is fortunate he does not live down on Pattaya. When the Russians hit town he would have a heart attack. It would be a full time occupation telling tourists here that their behaviour is inappropriate.

On the contrary .. it IS "appropriate" Let's face the truth. Pattaya is a whore town. It was built on whoring ... and the Thai local bigwigs can deny it till they're red in the face (from too much Chang), but the fact still remains.

The only recently acquired Western morals by the Thais can't really be applied in Pattaya. (in pre farang contact days, nakedness was commonplace)

They want the money? They've got to tolerate the rampant "inappropriateness" ... along with anyone else who goes there.

Pattaya is indeed a special place in Thailand. Ought to be made a special administrative region like Hong Kong, with permanent residence automatically granted to current expats as well as the right to buy land. Just to piss off the other farangs, especially those of the Edwardian brigade

[Brian Robson]

You must be the moron that wai's all the spirit houses and wears 10 tons of amulets around his neck.

As a 'senio' member is this how you insult newcomers?

[wprime]

It is as un-Thai to sunbathe naked as it is to tell a naked sunbather she shouldn't sunbathe naked.

[mauGR1]

I often see misbehaving foreigners, and sometimes i feel disgusted.

And, yes, often i am left wondering how the Thais can be so tolerant.

Still, i think it's not my business to tell anybody how to behave.. Unless when at my home.

[ATF]

You must be the moron that wai's all the spirit houses and wears 10 tons of amulets around his neck.

You are so smart you brought your wife to Thailand. The OP didn't ask a moronic question. If the OP had mentioned Pattaya or Phuket I would laugh, but this behavior is not acceptable outside those areas. As other posters have said Thai's just think you are trailer trash walking around without a shirt on or even a sleeveless vest. Craig??? You must be an Aussie so I understand.

[zeichen]

The funny thing for me is all of the posters here that clearly know nothing about Thai culture or the people.

Thais will unlikely tell someone that they are doing something wrong. They will just judge and criticize in Thai to all those that can here. In all of my years here, I have rarely ever heard a Thai refuse service or comment on when tourists do things that are innapropriate.

That being said, I typically ignore when tourists or even long stay foreigners say or do things that are not appropriate. However, going topless in public in a resturaunt is something that I would address. When people say mind or your own business. Well, in fact it is my business. If I am in there eating as well, it is my right to inform others when they are being blatantly rude.

Same goes if people are being too affectionate, swearing, talking about sex loudly.

I am always with my daughter and I don't want her looking at people without their clothes on. I would try to be as polite and unthreatening as I could.

Just becuase someone is here on their holiday doesn't give them the right not to respect others around them.

Seems like many leave their manners and common sense at the airport.

[Fullstop]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

95% of Thai men wear long pants?

More or less... yes.

Go for a walk down the street right now... open your eyes and report back.

[connda]

The OP is fortunate he does not live down on Pattaya. When the Russians hit town he would have a heart attack. It would be a full time occupation telling tourists here that their behaviour is inappropriate.

On the contrary .. it IS "appropriate" Let's face the truth. Pattaya is a whore town. It was built on whoring ... and the Thai local bigwigs can deny it till they're red in the face (from too much Chang), but the fact still remains.

The only recently acquired Western morals by the Thais can't really be applied in Pattaya. (in pre farang contact days, nakedness was commonplace)

They want the money? They've got to tolerate the rampant "inappropriateness" ... along with anyone else who goes there.

cheap beer and cheaper pussy is never going to attract the hi status tourist that TAT would love to get to pattaya etc

its just not that kind of town ..............

50 thb beers and 500 thb girls will continue to attract the trash they are trying to keep out

Cheap liquor and cheap women are much more likely to attract male, Thai customers who make up the vast majority of the P2P action in Thailand. The monikers "whore", "trash", and "sex-pat" are more likely to be tossed around by self-righteous, farang moralists who are more likely to be found self-flagellating themselves in the dark closet of their own lustful desires. Later wracked by the guilt of their 'sins', they start labeling everyone around them in order to assuage the shame instilled during their own virtuous upbringing. Some of the most f*cked up Westerners I've met are some of the most overtly moralistic.

[DrTuner]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

95% of Thai men wear long pants?

More or less... yes.

Go for a walk down the street right now... open your eyes and report back.

I can see the street from where I'm sitting. Youngsters driving scooters to downtown Pattaya it seems .. and if I can see correctly in the dim light, wearing shorts. The neighbor (Thai) on his veranda is wearing what looks like .. shorts. Our security guard is in uniform, but I think he's the only one with long pants within a 500m radius.

In BKK, are you ? Horrible place.

[ggt]

I live in Chaing Mai and pretty much mind my own business...

While it may seem offensive and a lack of sensitivity to the Thai culture...if the Thais are offended...let them deal with it...

If you are offended...try another restaurant of market...

You can not go wrong...minding your own business...

[Fullstop]

Cheap liquor and cheap women are much more likely to attract male, Thai customers who make up the vast majority of the P2P action in Thailand. The monikers "whore", "trash", and "sex-pat" are more likely to be tossed around by self-righteous, farang moralists who are more likely to be found self-flagellating themselves in the dark closet of their own lustful desires. Later wracked by the guilt of their 'sins', they start labeling everyone around them in order to assuage the shame instilled during their own virtuous upbringing. Some of the most f*cked up Westerners I've met are some of the most overtly moralistic.

Spot on Dr Phil!

[simon43]

I do tell tourists to put their shirt on if I see them topless and away from the beach. But I do it in my capacity as a TPV (when I am, in uniform or have ID etc).

But you can say 'put your shirt on' or 'hey mate, can you please put a shirt on because it's considered rude in Thailand to go topless when away from the beach - Buddhist and Muslim society you know'.

I have done this many times. I have never been sworn at or slapped by the tourist. All of them acknowledge me with a smile and put their shirts on.

Most of the 'offenders' have been Australians...

Simon

[connda]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

95% of Thai men wear long pants?

More or less... yes.

Go for a walk down the street right now... open your eyes and report back.

Ummm. Errrr. I'll agree with you. Thai's cover themselves up. Now let's ask why? I'm thinking the multi-billion baht cosmetic industry could give us a clue. White skin good. Dark skin bad. White skin = upscale; dark skin = country-bumpkin. Cover up your skin, it stays lighter. Expose your skin, it gets darker. Let's just throw that idea outside the present box for the moment.

And another industry, entertainment and fashion absolutely revel in the revealing of as such flesh as possible while still maintaining a veil of discretion. And this is to do what? Sell clothes and products to make Thai's sexyyyyyy. So this whole concept that Thais are reserved and modest of dress is total crap.

[Fullstop]

95% of Thai men wear pants?

More or less... yes.

Go for a walk down the street right now... open your eyes and report back.

I can see the street from where I'm sitting. Youngsters driving scooters to downtown Pattaya it seems .. and if I can see correctly in the dim light, wearing shorts.

Pattaya? A Beach town? Shorts?

You really are a bit of a dill, aren't you? I'm afraid "95% of Thai men" do not live in Pattaya.

[Seastallion]

So many negative responses to the OP here. I am always amazed at the level of "culture" displayed on Thaivisa. We never fail to achieve new lows.

To answer your question, should you tell them? Depends. If they seem like they are just clueless, then sure, why not? Obviously they're not required to listen, but if they are genuinely ignorant of the issue, just letting them know in a friendly manner might be helpful to them. Of course, if its just a group of asshats, then just ignore them and go about your business, they won't listen to you anyway. No reason to waste your time on people who are acting out on-purpose.

Why would everybody be so negative about politely letting somebody know about ther behaviour? How about introducing yourself, and if you feel like it'll do some good, just tell them - so maybe they will know in the future? Obviously this won't work in most cases (drunk people, people knowingly doing something rude), but particularly if the person/people are friendly, wouldn't it be better to give them a good tip to help them in the future? If I was doing something wrong, I would want somebody to tell me.

That is what I thought; You may be doing them a favour.

I know if I was unwittingly doing something rather off and a local gave me a friendly bit of advice, I would be mortified and grateful and would know better next time.

[ATF]

Cheap liquor and cheap women are much more likely to attract male, Thai customers who make up the vast majority of the P2P action in Thailand. The monikers "whore", "trash", and "sex-pat" are more likely to be tossed around by self-righteous, farang moralists who are more likely to be found self-flagellating themselves in the dark closet of their own lustful desires. Later wracked by the guilt of their 'sins', they start labeling everyone around them in order to assuage the shame instilled during their own virtuous upbringing. Some of the most f*cked up Westerners I've met are some of the most overtly moralistic.

Fortunately Thailand does provide the option of quality liquor and quality women, for people who dress politely, and have the money and taste to enjoy such pleasures.

[DrTuner]

I'm afraid "95% of Thai men" do not live in Pattaya.

They should, wearing long pants in a tropical climate is just <deleted> up. However OP was about farangs tourists, eh ?

[Seastallion]

The OP is fortunate he does not live down on Pattaya. When the Russians hit town he would have a heart attack. It would be a full time occupation telling tourists here that their behaviour is inappropriate.

On the contrary .. it IS "appropriate" Let's face the truth. Pattaya is a whore town. It was built on whoring ... and the Thai local bigwigs can deny it till they're red in the face (from too much Chang), but the fact still remains.

The only recently acquired Western morals by the Thais can't really be applied in Pattaya. (in pre farang contact days, nakedness was commonplace)

They want the money? They've got to tolerate the rampant "inappropriateness" ... along with anyone else who goes there.

cheap beer and cheaper pussy is never going to attract the hi status tourist that TAT would love to get to pattaya etc

its just not that kind of town ..............

50 thb beers and 500 thb girls will continue to attract the trash they are trying to keep out

Cheap liquor and cheap women are much more likely to attract male, Thai customers who make up the vast majority of the P2P action in Thailand. The monikers "whore", "trash", and "sex-pat" are more likely to be tossed around by self-righteous, farang moralists who are more likely to be found self-flagellating themselves in the dark closet of their own lustful desires. Later wracked by the guilt of their 'sins', they start labeling everyone around them in order to assuage the shame instilled during their own virtuous upbringing. Some of the most f*cked up Westerners I've met are some of the most overtly moralistic.

Spoken like a true sex-pat weary of being labelled one, slightly embarrassed, and covertly envious of those that he didn't mention; The happily married to decent women men.

The don't pay for sex, they get love making. They don't moralise about sex-pats but do observe reality. They know they are so much happier than the sex-tourist or sex-pat.

Cheap booze and cheap women DO attract cheap Western tourists.

[khunPer]

Good post and question, OP (Old Stud).

I can get angry when I see Russian tourists walking on holy ground – temple – with shoes on, even there are signs “Please take off your shoes”. I do mention it, that they are walking on holy ground with their shoes on. Angry answers – never a smile and a apology – like, »when the ground is dirty I leave my shoes on«. Sometimes I cannot stop myself in replying »If you feel it’s dirty, you don’t need to walk there…«

I did for a (short) while try to “mention smoking” in no smoking areas by making aware of signs, but gave up.

I have seen police sending tourist back to the beach if they walk up the street in swimming suits (bikini).

I think the same people may not like foreigners breaching codex in their homeland…

[anotheruser]

Maybe people should just get over this you must wear a shirt thing. It is a hot tropical climate and not wearing a shirt is hardly an outrageous thug to do.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[Benmart]

When I see rude or inappropriate behavior, it reminds me to be all the more courteous and appropriate in dress and deportment.

I can't regulate others, nor would I want them to regulate me. It's Live and Let Live.

[Old Stud]

I'm the OP of this post and I agree with many comments. Bobo42 - a very thoughtful and kind answer. Thanks Seastallion. I am a pleasant older man and I doubt if anyone would hit me when I politely mention that its not the wisest thing to be in a nice restaurant in Chiang Mai without a shirt. Of course it wouldn't even cross my mind to say a thing Pattaya or Patong, or even Bkk. Actually, if I saw a topless farang in downtown Bangkok I would think he on drugs or something. One other point - I live here in Chiang Mai. Sure I'm not a Thai local, but I love this city and its people. I have many Thai friends here and I totally respect the Buddhist culture. There are two temples on the short soi in the old town where I live on. In fact, there are so many wats in the old town that I consider this a holy place. So I am talking about a restaurant less than 100 yards from the holiest Buddhist temple in Chiang Mai. The twenty-somethings can go shirtless and pee in the ocean at the full moon party in Kho Phangan - not a problem (I did). But in or near the temples of Chiang Mai. No way. I will politely mention to the restaurant owner that I was offended by the shirtless customers. I'm sure she will be glad to hear that from a farang she respects.

[Beechboy]

The ones I particularly dislike are those who think that they are superior (to the locals) or important. Neither do they deem it necessary to learn the slightest bit about the country in which they are just visitors.

The prime example of this happened in front of me at the bar of the Old German Beerhouse in eleven.

It was the time of the King's sixtieth and the bar had installed a television so that the staff and others could get glimpses of the ceremonials. This was a big occasion for most Thais after all.

An English family came in. Father, mother, teenage son and younger daughter. They appeared a bit full of themselves from the off, then they made their presence felt. "Where's the football then?" said dad in a loud voice.

The father continued to insist that "the football" should be switched to and he wouldn't give up. His son chipped in as well. On and on they grumbled, impervious to the situation. They were generally rude and aggressive, mother included.

Eventually I explained to them the importance of the programme on show and suggested that they go to the Australian bar in nine where they would be assured of "the football." "No way" replied the father. "We're on holiday here."

Eventually they gave up and pissed off to the delight of one and all.

We have all witnessed pig-headed behaviour from tourists on occasions. This instance was my worst experience of it.

Edited May 16, 2014 by Beechboy