Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Thailand News and Discussion Forum | ASEANNOW

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Paper

Featured Replies

Paper covers rock.

What about if the rock is just too big?

And if you wet it and mix a bit of flour with it you can make papier mashe :D

You can also chew it up and then use a bic pen and it makes a great spit gun, perfect for those boring maths lessons when you used to blast the square kid at the front of the class :o:D

Ah, paper covers scissors (covering rock) - scissors cuts paper, fab!

Suegha,

is your avatar a paper tiger?

No, it's a cyber tiger!

Chownah... .I just have to say it.. I am pretty sure that in a moment, when i check the threads in bedlam, I´m going to find,

Paper

Rock

Scissors.

So before I do, I just like to say,

You´re weird.

You´re weird

You´re weird

Chownah... .I just have to say it.. I am pretty sure that in a moment, when i check the threads in bedlam, I´m going to find,

Paper

Rock

Scissors.

So before I do, I just like to say,

You´re weird.

You´re weird

You´re weird

Kayo's got it!

Is the paper stuck to his arse?

Well I hope the rock isn't! (ooh, or the scissors) :o

  • Author

We all know about wiping with paper...maybe not so many of us have heard of wiping using a rock....but I'm wondering if anyone has ever heard of wiping with scissors?

We all know about wiping with paper...maybe not so many of us have heard of wiping using a rock....but I'm wondering if anyone has ever heard of wiping with scissors?

You're all bum-gun fans and you know it ! :o

We all know about wiping with paper...maybe not so many of us have heard of wiping using a rock....but I'm wondering if anyone has ever heard of wiping with scissors?

You're all bum-gun fans and you know it ! :D

Paper, Scissors, Hose....!? :o:D

redrus

We all know about wiping with paper...maybe not so many of us have heard of wiping using a rock....but I'm wondering if anyone has ever heard of wiping with scissors?

Yep, it was so unique that they made a movie about it called Edward Scissorhands. :o

We all know about wiping with paper...maybe not so many of us have heard of wiping using a rock....but I'm wondering if anyone has ever heard of wiping with scissors?

Yep, it was so unique that they made a movie about it called Edward Scissorhands. :D

They were going to make a sequel, Edward BumGun, but he kept cutting the hose with his scissors, until they brained him with a rock and wrapped him in paper and flushed him all the way to the Chocolate Factory ! :o

We all know about wiping with paper...maybe not so many of us have heard of wiping using a rock....but I'm wondering if anyone has ever heard of wiping with scissors?

You're all bum-gun fans and you know it ! :D

Hose....!? :D:D

redrus

You talking about kerrys girlfriends again? :o

What hose...., I see no hose.... :o:D

redrus

What hose...., I see no hose.... :o:D

redrus

Paper covers hose!

What hose...., I see no hose.... :o:D

redrus

That reminds me of the two ronnies sketch. when they are in the hardware store :D

Here is the script for that sketch

Taken from angelfire.com

In a hardware shop. Ronnie Corbett is behind the counter, wearing a warehouse jacket. He has just finished serving a customer.

CORBETT (muttering): There you are. Mind how you go.

(Ronnie Barker enters the shop, wearing a scruffy tank-top and beanie)

BARKER: Four Candles!

CORBETT: Four Candles?

BARKER: Four Candles.

(Ronnie Corbett makes for a box, and gets out four candles. He places them on the counter)

BARKER: No, four candles!

CORBETT (confused): Well there you are, four candles!

BARKER: No, fork 'andles! 'Andles for forks!

(Ronnie Corbett puts the candles away, and goes to get a fork handle. He places it onto the counter)CORBETT (muttering): Fork handles. Thought you said 'four candles!' (more clearly) Next?

BARKER: Got any plugs?

CORBETT: Plugs. What kind of plugs?

BARKER: A rubber one, bathroom.

(Ronnie Corbett gets out a box of bath plugs, and places it on the counter)

CORBETT (pulling out two different sized plugs): What size?

BARKER: Thirteen amp!

CORBETT (muttering): It's electric bathroom plugs, we call them, in the trade. Electric bathroom plugs!

(He puts the box away, gets out another box, and places on the counter an electric plug, then puts the box away)

BARKER: Saw tips!

CORBETT: Saw tips? (he doesn't know what he means) What d'you want? Ointment, or something like that?

BARKER: No, saw tips for covering saws.

CORBETT: Oh, haven't got any, haven't got any. (he mutters) Comin' in, but we haven' got any. Next?

BARKER: 'O's!

CORBETT: 'O's?

BARKER: 'O's.

(He goes to get a hoe, and places it on the counter)

BARKER: No, 'O's!

CORBETT: 'O's! I thought you said 'O! (he takes the hose back, and gets a hose, whilst muttering) When you said 'O's, I thought you said 'O! 'O's!

(He places the hose onto the counter)

BARKER: No, 'O's!

CORBETT (confused for a moment): O's? Oh, you mean panty 'o's, panty 'o's! (he picks up a pair of tights from beside him)

BARKER: No, no, 'O's! 'O's for the gate. Mon repose! 'O's! Letter O's!

CORBETT (finally realising): Letter O's! (muttering) You had me going there!

(He climbs up a stepladder, gets a box down, puts the ladder away, and takes the box to the counter, and searches through it for letter O's)

CORBETT: How many d'you want?

BARKER: Two.

(Ronnie Corbett leaves two letter O's on the counter, then takes the box back, gets the ladder out again, puts the box away, climbs down the ladder, and puts the ladder away, then returns to the counter)

CORBETT: Yes, next?

BARKER: Got any P's?

CORBETT (fed up): For Gawd' sake, why didn' you bleedin' tell me that while I was up there then? I'm up and down the shop already, it's up and down the bleedin' shop all the time. (He gets the ladder out, climbs up and gets the box of letters down, then puts the ladder away) Honestly, I've got all this shop, I ain't got any help, it's worth it we plan things. (He puts the box on the counter, and gets out some letter P's) How many d'you want?

BARKER: No! Tins of peas. Three tins of peas!

CORBETT: You're 'avin' me on, ain't ya, yer 'avin' me on?

BARKER: I'm not!

(Ronnie Corbett dumps the box under the counter, and gets three tins of peas)

CORBETT (placing the tins on the counter): Next?

BARKER: Got any pumps?

CORBETT (getting really fed up): 'And pumps, foot pumps? Come on!

BARKER (surprised he has to ask): Foot pumps!

CORBETT (muttering, as he goes down the shop): Foot pumps. See a foot pump? (He sees one, and picks it up) Tidy up in 'ere.

(He puts the pump down on the counter)

BARKER: No, pumps fer ya feet! Brown pump, size nine!

CORBETT (almost at breaking point): You are 'avin' me on, you are definitely 'avin' me on!

BARKER (not taking much notice of Corbett's mood): I'm not!

CORBETT: You are 'avin' me on! (He takes back the pump, and gets a pair of brown foot pumps out of a drawer, and places them on the counter) Next?

BARKER: Washers!

CORBETT (really close to breaking point): What, dishwashers, floor washers, car washers, windscreen washers, back scrubbers, lavatory cleaners? Floor washers?

BARKER: 'Alf inch washers!

CORBETT: Oh, tap washers, tap washers? (He finally breaks, and makes to confiscate his list) Look, I've had just about enough of this, give us that list. (He mutters) I'll get it all myself! (Reading through the list) What's this? What's that? Oh that does it! That just about does it! I have just about had it! (calling through to the back) Mr. Jones! You come out and serve this customer please, I have just about had enough of 'im. (Mr. Jones comes out, and Ronnie Corbett shows him the list) Look what 'e's got on there! Look what 'e's got on there!

JONES (who goes to a drawer with a towel hanging out of it, and opens it): Right! How many would ya like? One or two?

(He removes the towel to reveal the label on the drawer - 'Bill hooks'!)

sadly .... no more 2 ronnies

sadly .... no more 2 ronnies

British humour. :o

Water from hose cut by scissors soaks paper which washes off rock.

Corbetts.. ahh.. that was a trip down memory lane.

Thnkas!

Corbetts.. ahh.. that was a trip down memory lane.

Thnkas!

No worries mate, i am trying to find the video so our friends across the water can watch it and maybe then they will understand the humour. Actually then again maybe they wont :o

Found it, just for you Kayo

Thanks Daley!

Create an account or sign in to comment

Recently Browsing 0

  • No registered users viewing this page.

Account

Navigation

Search

Search

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.