3 guys sitting in a bar on holidays in Mallorca. A Scotsman, an Italian and an Irishman. They've been there all day and have become quite close. They all agree that this could easily be the best bar in the world....

Alex, the Scot, is first to try & correct this. Alex says: 'Ye know fellas, I've really enjoyed this afternoon on the pish. This is a great wee bar an' all, but I have to say, it disnae come near my favourite wee bar in Fife. Ye go in, buy a pint, buy another pint and on every 3rd pint, the barman gives it to you on the house. No' bad, eh? 3 pints for the price of 2!"

'Si', says Cesare, the Italian, 'this is sounds very good - but it does not come near my favourite little bar, "Bar Giovanni's" in Roma. You enter the bar, and buy a drink, Si?

Then, when you go again to the bar, Giovanni insists on paying for the next one. All night it is the same. You buy a drink, Giovanni buys a drink.....by the end of the night, you've had every second drink for free'.

'Jaysus, dat's brilliant' says PJ, the Irishman. 'But still and all - it comes nowhere near my favourite bar in Dublin.

Ye go in - right - and order a pint. It's free of charge. Ye order a second pint. Free of charge. Ye order a 3rd, 4th and 5th pint, and they're all free of charge. Yer gettin' pretty bollixed by this stage, so you move onto the shorts. Vodka. Free of charge. Whiskey, again free of charge......the whole night ye sit there drinking free of charge and then - when you can drink no more, - they bring you out the back to the kitchen, and get you laid!".

'That's unbeleivable!' says Alex.

'Yes' says Cesare "Is unbelievable.........did this happen to you PJ?'

'Ah no' says PJ 'but it happened to me sister'.

ahh very good!

'Ah no' says PJ 'but it happened to me sister'.

I dinnah feel sorry fer yer sista1