Am I Just very Lucky or am I being set up ?

[colinneil]

All you cynical members STOP.

Not all Thai ladies marry farangs only for money.

I know i am married to one.

We share all expenses 50/50 she never asks for money. She has my cards pin numbers, due to my accident i cannot get to any ATM.

She always gives me ATM receipt.

Also after we first met, stayed together for 4 months ,i went back to UK, to work for 9 months.

Came back to Thailand to find our new home more than 70% complete (total shock) i was not aware it had been started.

Up to this point i was not asked for 1 baht, but was told now it is up to you to pay to finish our home.

[slightlychilled]

All you cynical members STOP.

Not all Thai ladies marry farangs only for money.

I know i am married to one.

We share all expenses 50/50 she never asks for money. She has my cards pin numbers, due to my accident i cannot get to any ATM.

She always gives me ATM receipt.

Also after we first met, stayed together for 4 months ,i went back to UK, to work for 9 months.

Came back to Thailand to find our new home more than 70% complete (total shock) i was not aware it had been started.

Up to this point i was not asked for 1 baht, but was told now it is up to you to pay to finish our home.

So why do you think you got married ?

[ScarpoFongness4U]

Why does anyone even bother....

The OP needs a subscription to penthouse

[Soutpeel]

All you cynical members STOP.

Not all Thai ladies marry farangs only for money.

I know i am married to one.

We share all expenses 50/50 she never asks for money. She has my cards pin numbers, due to my accident i cannot get to any ATM.

She always gives me ATM receipt.

Also after we first met, stayed together for 4 months ,i went back to UK, to work for 9 months.

Came back to Thailand to find our new home more than 70% complete (total shock) i was not aware it had been started.

Up to this point i was not asked for 1 baht, but was told now it is up to you to pay to finish our home.

I am one of those cynical members and haven't mentioned money, but her actions such as sorting out condo's and buying cars on 50/50 split indicates she is impulsive, and shows she wants to be in control and ergo usually people like this end up as a bunny boilers when they cant get their own way.

here are the facts as I see them

1. they don't have a proper relationship yet - 2 week holidays "living together" in a hotel don't count

2. She is be presumptuous at this point in time securing condo's and buying cars at this point in time see above

3. The fact she has already introduced him to the family generally means the wedding ring is already on..see 1.

4. what happens when the "friend" spends 6 months living with her and decides he wants out because its not working ?

[rhythmworx]

So many wind up threads here by aliases with special powers.

Load of <deleted> is what it is.

[lavezzi]

Is it real love if she rented a ground up to 2nd floor appartment.

[roo860]

I'm posting this on behalf of another Expat who needs some advise from you guys who's been here long time and who knows Thai woman's behavior the best.

First of all he has a Thai girlfriend for almost a year now and comes to visit her regularly. She's not a bar girl and has a normal admin job ( don't know her income ) and is to the likes of it a decent 32 year old girl with no children and never been married before.

Anyway, these two is apparently very much in love and he's even been to meeting her family a few times now.

Thing is he says he's been reading on the Internet about how Thai woman only want Farags money and all that crap so he needs your opinion on the next.

He's not rich at all but does ok for himself and his lady is aware of this fact him not being a rich guy. From what I can see he treats her really well and there is definitely at the look of things respect for one another.

Now his question,

He says he's coming to live with her for 6 months and then ask her to marry next year.

1. She lives with family but already rented a long term condo for them to stay in together...Nashe says they must share the cost....it's cheaper then a hotel where they usually stay together when he comes to visit her.

2. He usually rents a car for 3 weeks at a time when he comes to visit her..... She actually asked him what car he likes and went and bought a brand new one..... Once again she reckons it will work out cheaper at the end and they will share the payment.

It does not look like he's been treated well by the woman back home as he reckons no woman has ever done all this for him.... Apparently she is now busy buying and filling the condos cupboard with new clothes and what knows what ells for him for when he arrives in 2 weeks time. " because she wants him to be comfortable "

The thing is he seems a bit confusing about all this well doing by this lady and worries that he might be set up for her later draining him of his money when he moves here permanently.

I personally seen her doing everything for him and almost wiping the freaking pavement he's walking on. He want to know if this is normal behavior for Thai woman or if he's being sugar coated to be scammed later on ?

He's an old friend of mine from back home and I think it's not place to advise him on any of this.

Any normal and sensitive commends from Long time expats who can put this man at ease ?

Tell him not to post anything on TV as he will get ripped to shreds by the same people who have already been ripped off, but won't admit it!!!!!!!

[White Christmas13]

All you cynical members STOP.

Not all Thai ladies marry farangs only for money.

I know i am married to one.

We share all expenses 50/50 she never asks for money. She has my cards pin numbers, due to my accident i cannot get to any ATM.

She always gives me ATM receipt.

Also after we first met, stayed together for 4 months ,i went back to UK, to work for 9 months.

Came back to Thailand to find our new home more than 70% complete (total shock) i was not aware it had been started.

Up to this point i was not asked for 1 baht, but was told now it is up to you to pay to finish our home.

Spot on with your comment I am married for 13 years to my Thai wife now

lived in Thailand for a number of years but we both went back to Australia

after some bad investment in Thailand my wife is 21 years my junior now

I am receiving the Aussie pension while my wife still works as a nurse

She pays for all expenses we have over here i just support her with the

rent payment every fortnight I don't have a credit card at all if I need to

by some thing I use my wife's I can not complain at all about Thai women

maybe I am one of the lucky ones

[Emster23]

I'm on the fence on this one. We might see her as pushy, where she could frame it in her mind as taking care of her honey.... she is probably hearing the clock tick, being 32 and near "pull date" as far as landing a Thai man go. She is putting lots of expectations and landing a few harpoons into him with flat and car.

Best advice is to look at those family dynamics, as mentioned. And have a good exit strategy.

[jacko45k]

She rented the condo in her name? She bought a car in her name on her credit? If that's true it doesn't sound too bad as he can walk. If it's all in his name and his credit, I'd get worried. In addition to money there can be big problems getting her out of a condo that's in his name. Same with getting anything for the car other than payments.

Cheers.

The condo and car is in her name and she's not asking him to share any of the down payments that came out of her pocket ( 175000 baht ) in total I think. All she ask of him is to pay the installments on the car as it is actually his and half of the rent on the condo.

How is the car 'his' if it is in her name?

On the surface of it, everything looks good.

What I may worry about is if he arrives here and she presents him with a request to pay back a chunk of her expenditures.

He actually has nothing in his name, she has all receipts and he is very vulnerable. A simple difference of opinion and he could be out on his ear... she will have set herself up quite nicely.

I hope everything works out for him, but perhaps a brake on the spending so that they can 'do it together' would be an idea.

[steven100]

not another .... I'm posting for a friend of a friend of a friend !!

[chicowoodduck]

i am his friend. I just turned 72, but i look 30!!! I take vitamins and walk every day!!! I listen to hip-hop music and can stay up to 8:30 p.m. some nights!!! But I am up at 4, drinking warm milk.

Yup, saw you on the World Wide Web....tell your younger friend to head for the hills with his hands in his pockets....scam in the making....too good to be true....so it is! ?

[sipi]

All you cynical members STOP.

Not all Thai ladies marry farangs only for money.

I know i am married to one.

We share all expenses 50/50 she never asks for money. She has my cards pin numbers, due to my accident i cannot get to any ATM.

She always gives me ATM receipt.

Also after we first met, stayed together for 4 months ,i went back to UK, to work for 9 months.

Came back to Thailand to find our new home more than 70% complete (total shock) i was not aware it had been started.

Up to this point i was not asked for 1 baht, but was told now it is up to you to pay to finish our home.

Spot on with your comment I am married for 13 years to my Thai wife now

lived in Thailand for a number of years but we both went back to Australia

after some bad investment in Thailand my wife is 21 years my junior now

I am receiving the Aussie pension while my wife still works as a nurse

She pays for all expenses we have over here i just support her with the

rent payment every fortnight I don't have a credit card at all if I need to

by some thing I use my wife's I can not complain at all about Thai women

maybe I am one of the lucky ones

Yes there are a lot of good wifes out there. You got one, Colin got one, I got one, and I'm sure thousands of others got one.

[cooked]

I promised to keep my wife in the state to which she and I were both accustomed to. So we still live in poverty. I wouldn't have been quite so ready to settle down and marry here if I had had any sizeable chunk of money.

[kaorop]

my assessment she is a control freak, bunny boiler in the making, your friend needs to proceed with caution

whether there is a financial scam in the making only time will tell

That's would be my first reaction

She's been living with her family until now. That usually means they have lots of influence on her. She'll probably listen to them more than she'll listen to her new husband.

I'd take a close look at her family to predict any problems. What her family does is more important than what they say.

Good suggestion. Look at the relation between the father and the mother, who's in charge ... The same for the siblings. There are a lot of chances she will repeat the same behavior. He should pay a special attention to the mother, she's going to be the one who's going to rule his life from now on.

_

and thats where a well off thai male friend can help, they can get a "read" on the family way better than "us" farangs can.

[F4UCorsair]

Strikes me she's already spending his money. Has she not bought a car and rented a condo with the proviso that he is already paying half for both ?

A bit presumptious IMO. I smell a rat.

Me too, a big ba $ tard.

She bought a car with half his money? He's not there so it's in her name. He's already been dudded, and he may arrive to find he's already been ditched by her.

[klauskunkel]

He should make up his own mind about this, and not rely on someone else.

[Katipo]

Based on the information, this could go either way. It's fully possible that she is totally in love with your friend, more so if he is not 65 year old balding man with a pot belly.

Just tell him to keep his wits about him for signs that she is seeking money for less sincere reasons, but not to over think it to the point that he might spoil a potentially wonderful and loving relationship.

[Thunderbirds20]

Sounds like she is setting the stage for the future draining of his wealth, ...... they are masters at worshipping the ground you walk on until they get their hands on your wallet, ...no joint bank account, ..do not buy anything together, ...only buy a condo if own a place to live and make sure it is only in your name. Protect yourself first, last and always.

I was the same, ...moderate savings, ..... ended up with nothing and alone. ... she was so respectful and caring at first, but as soon as the money was gone, .... Dr, Jeckle became Mr. Hyde!

[recycler]

Sounds too good to be truth...

32 and still living with her parents?

Maybe something wrong here, let your friend take his time to see how it works out. Many previous relations that didn't last long, all these where very bad guys?

Some of the more nasty luggage can be unpacked long after a relation started too good to be truth.

[Suradit69]

Question is, whether it is fake or genuine love from her.

No one can answer this, only himself.

General question about Thai women from one man perspective doesn't make any sense or very little ...

Every one is unique, comes from different background, has different values, experience and million other things.

My advice. Forget about instructions and manuals ...

Good luck.

"General question about Thai women from one man perspective doesn't make any sense or very little ..."

Slow down there. That will fly over the heads of the core TV poster who thinks all Thai people think and act alike and that they all have the same sophistication and education as the one or two Thai people they "know" from the Bump Bump Go Go Bar.

Of course this is an honest mistake because, as we all know, everyone from Europe, Australia and America is exactly the same ... at least those with a similar complexion ... and they all think exactly alike.

It certainly is amazing how many people ask their friends to pose questions for them on Thai Visa. But then considering the usual questions, they also probably have to help those friends to cut up their food before eating and assist them when crossing busy streets.

Edited March 18, 2015 by Suradit69

[ezzra]

Why not ask Dr Phil and buy stuff recommended by Dr Oz?

[dotpoom]

"Any normal and sensitive commends from Long time expats who can put this man at ease ?".

Didn't take long for that request to be ignored.

At first I thought what will happen to the car when he returns after the six months, at best he will be paying half the repayments and she will be having the use of it. Then I checked again and you say his intention is to marry her ...so I presume he has made his plans known to her already and she is looking forward to a happy future with a good man.

Isn't it possible that your friend is a sincere man and she has seen this in him and is trying to lay the foundations for a good life together. On the other hand, I find it strange that she would not consult him first about major decisions. If he is not being sincere about marriage then I'm afraid he's deserving of whatever the outcome is.

Having just said the above though, I have discovered that Thai people do not approach life in the same manner as Farangs do. While we would consult with our partners before making a purchase or stuff like that.....Thai ladies can act without thinking and it is not always out of badness....just lact of forethought. At first I myself was suspicious of any actions that were not done "my way"...when in fact a lot of this was a lack of security in myself....and their motives were genuine....in my cases anyway.

PS. What can she really rob him of....the car would have been bought in her name so repayments would legally be down to her.

Edited March 18, 2015 by dotpoom

[kannot]

Whose name is the car in??????? would be my first concern.

She is at an age when her time to get married is running out, however I married my Wife when she just turned 30 and me at 42, married almost 9 years soon enough.

Id rather think love comes with time especially for my Wife.

Edited March 18, 2015 by kannot

[stgrhe]

Just one point; the car and anything else the lady bought in her name will remain her personal property also after the marriage. Thai is Thai law.

[The Deerhunter]

She cant speak English already?

This is a wind up.

She could hardly at first but they have put Al lot of effort into it the past year and their doing ok.... But seems like she wants to improve even more.

I met my wife of nine years through a friend who lived here, teaching English. At first we had to communicate through dictionaries. Neither of us was functional in the other's language. When she came to my country I put her straight into English studies. Her English was excellent but since I retired & moved here her English has deteriorated as she spends more time speaking Thai than English. I am the only one she speaks English to on a daily basis. On visits back home her English comes back quickly. My Thai is slowly (very slowly) improving. If we lived in a city I would study English but here in the country it would have to be books, DVD's & on-line study.

[inzman]

Very easy answer, play the poor card. If you don't flash money you have nothing to lose. After a year or so, if he trusts her. Then he can show the cash.

[oneday]

There was not one thing you said about this woman that raised any red flags for me. There are Thai women who are very good people and will treat their man well, just as there are the opposite type of women and others in between.

My first thought was if she can go out and buy a new car then he already has a lady with much more money or credit than many Thai women I know. Tell him to play it by ear and as long as it continues good then the trust can increase day by day.

[louse1953]

She rented the condo in her name? She bought a car in her name on her credit? If that's true it doesn't sound too bad as he can walk. If it's all in his name and his credit, I'd get worried. In addition to money there can be big problems getting her out of a condo that's in his name. Same with getting anything for the car other than payments.

Cheers.

The condo and car is in her name and she's not asking him to share any of the down payments that came out of her pocket ( 175000 baht ) in total I think. All she ask of him is to pay the installments on the car as it is actually his and half of the rent on the condo.

How is the car 'his' if it is in her name?

On the surface of it, everything looks good.

What I may worry about is if he arrives here and she presents him with a request to pay back a chunk of her expenditures.

He actually has nothing in his name, she has all receipts and he is very vulnerable. A simple difference of opinion and he could be out on his ear... she will have set herself up quite nicely.

I hope everything works out for him, but perhaps a brake on the spending so that they can 'do it together' would be an idea.

What are you talking about,she has set herself up with her own money.He can walk anytime.Meanwhile he is paying half for rent and half for car that he is using.

[for real]

I cannot see how you [intended] can lose anything.

I wonder how you think she can do anything bad.

What have you given to her that is worth more monetarily than she has already given?

I think she has chosen the wrong man to fall for.

A good Thai lady will do everything for her 'man'.

How old is this good lady?