How much to raise a child?

[MaeJoMTB]

Stunning! You actually sound

proud of yourself. Putting your

son through the Thai system is

tantamount to giving tacit

approval for him to emerge a

complete moron.

Another Thai basher,

Government school good enough for Thais kids, but not good enough for a former *plumber from Oldham.

(*insert any menial western occupation previously worked)

Edited June 24, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[MaeJoMTB]

Have I got it wrong? Does any Farang here let their young children ride motorbikes?

Maybe there's always some eh?

My 16 year old has her own scooter, been riding it since she was 15.

My 3 year old is on my scooter (or mums) nearly every day (since about 6 months old) as a passenger.

[thehelmsman]

Government is good all the way,

Tessabaan kindergarten from age 3, 2kbht entry, 1,800bht two terms a year, all food and uniforms included.

Junior school, books and uniforms about 3k/year, all food included.

High school, started at 5k/year now at 12k/year for the last couple of years.

University ...... not there yet.

Food and clothing, not that much, nappies and milk were the most expensive time, about 800bht/month for the first 3 years.

Hospital, free, the government maternity wards do an excellent job, yeah there's a bit of waiting around, but the mums and mums to be seem happy to sit and chat all day, drop off and collect.

Don't panic, it's all worthwhile.

Time and energy, I'm 60, my youngest is three, just about to take him to school, the teen drives herself.

I have plenty of time, much more than a young employed person.

Energy, I get up at 5am to cycle up Doi Suthep most mornings so mum does mornings, I do afternoons, we share evenings.

Another perspective is Private hospital for delivery with private room 35,000 baht, diapers and milk more like 3000 baht a month, just went to school we plan to have daughter attend P-1 price 50,000 per term and doesn't include uniforms. This is not a International School but rather they teach 50% in English and 50%Thai. All the baby shots were given at Private hospital not free clinic.

You say government is good all the way. I'd like to say if you have the money why not do it right. It all depends on what you want for the child.

[MaeJoMTB]

Government is good all the way,

Tessabaan kindergarten from age 3, 2kbht entry, 1,800bht two terms a year, all food and uniforms included.

Junior school, books and uniforms about 3k/year, all food included.

High school, started at 5k/year now at 12k/year for the last couple of years.

University ...... not there yet.

Food and clothing, not that much, nappies and milk were the most expensive time, about 800bht/month for the first 3 years.

Hospital, free, the government maternity wards do an excellent job, yeah there's a bit of waiting around, but the mums and mums to be seem happy to sit and chat all day, drop off and collect.

Don't panic, it's all worthwhile.

Time and energy, I'm 60, my youngest is three, just about to take him to school, the teen drives herself.

I have plenty of time, much more than a young employed person.

Energy, I get up at 5am to cycle up Doi Suthep most mornings so mum does mornings, I do afternoons, we share evenings.

Another perspective is Private hospital for delivery with private room 35,000 baht, diapers and milk more like 3000 baht a month, just went to school we plan to have daughter attend P-1 price 50,000 per term and doesn't include uniforms. This is not a International School but rather they teach 50% in English and 50%Thai. All the baby shots were given at Private hospital not free clinic.

You say government is good all the way. I'd like to say if you have the money why not do it right. It all depends on what you want for the child.

Nestle Milk powder, 900gm for around 200bht, sold in 7-11, Tesco, Makro ........ how much milk can one kid consume?

All our vaccinations were free in government hospital.

OP asked how much did it cost?

Not how much can I spend if I have money to burn?

Daughter will be, doctor, pharmacist, government worker, schoolteacher of some sort in Thailand.

Son, too early to tell.

What do you want for your child?

Edited June 24, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[FritsSikkink]

I had my first and only child at aged 64.

She is now almost 5 yrs old.

Absolutely & unequivocally the best thing I ever did (and I've done a few things)

Absolutely no regrets

Of course it's expensive but hey ..................

Every day is a sure-fired bonus

Entirely your decision & up to you (as they say) so maybe go for it !!

for you it is, the child needs a father for a long time

[F4UCorsair]

Forget it, but it's not an affordable issue, rather one of age. It's selfish. You'll never be able to kick a football with the kid, go fishing, and you'll definitely not see him/her grow up, not that you'll remember anyway.

[NoshowJones]

Have I got it wrong? Does any Farang here let their young children ride motorbikes?

Maybe there's always some eh?

My 16 year old has her own scooter, been riding it since she was 15.

My 3 year old is on my scooter (or mums) nearly every day (since about 6 months old) as a passenger.

That's no problem, 15 year olds can ride scooters at, I think 100cc as long as they have a licence, and I,m sure you will have

taught her not to ride the way most Thai's do. I'm also sure you will keep your 3 year old safe. Good luck.

[F4UCorsair]

Get yourself in for a vasectomy asap and do it on the quiet, delay the discussion with the wife about babies until your sperm count is zero, could be a up to three months.

[zeichen]

"Another Thai basher,
Government school good enough for Thais kids, but not good enough for a former *plumber from Oldham."

It isn't Thai bashing. Thai government schools aren't good enough for Thai kids. Thai parents spend whatever they can afford on education. Those that can afford good private schools do. No middle class family with money would send their kid to government school.

"Daughter will be, doctor, pharmacist, government worker, schoolteacher of some sort in Thailand."

As for Doctor that is serious wishful thinking. Sorry but chances of government school kids passing the entrance exam for medical school here is very low. Less than a 10% chance even with the lower scores required for Northern students. Pharmacists again are very restrictive and competing against students at the top private schools most kids in government schools don't have a chance. There are a few government schools in Thailand that have a solid reputation but not many.

As for a government worker or a school teacher that is doable especially since teacher's have the lowest required scores for entrance. They also have to work extremely long hours and get paid quite low.

So congratulations to you for starting your children off lower in life than what you are at.

Parents should do all it takes to ensure their children have a better life not a lower quality of life.

So according to Maejo wanting to have our families have a good middle class life is Thai bashing because in his mind all Thai people are poor. Now who has a negative view of Thai people?

It isn't Thai bashing to want to live a middle class life or provide that for your family. Giving your children the generic vaccinations that don't even qualify for western standards. You do realize Maejo that if you ever send your kids back to your home country they couldn't even go to school unless you redid most of their vaccinations. Private hospitals are more expensive but they use the better vaccinations that are western standard.

I really wouldn't brag that your daughter's entire education is what most middle class families spend for 1 term.

What are you saving your money for? You claim to live in a middle class area everyone earning 50k a month so then why do you not send your kids to the same schools as your neighbors?

the op didn't write what is the bare min. I have to spend to make sure that my child is one step up from poverty. He wanted a reasonable range of what it costs.

[MaeJoMTB]

It isn't Thai bashing to want to live a middle class life or provide that for your family. Giving your children the generic vaccinations that don't even qualify for western standards. You do realize Maejo that if you ever send your kids back to your home country they couldn't even go to school unless you redid most of their vaccinations. Private hospitals are more expensive but they use the better vaccinations that are western standard.

I really wouldn't brag that your daughter's entire education is what most middle class families spend for 1 term.

What are you saving your money for? You claim to live in a middle class area everyone earning 50k a month so then why do you not send your kids to the same schools as your neighbors?

the op didn't write what is the bare min. I have to spend to make sure that my child is one step up from poverty. He wanted a reasonable range of what it costs.

Vaccinations are optional in the UK, none of my 4 UK children had any.

In Thailand I have no choice.

My neighbors are all 1 pay packet from repossession, not a life I would ever choose.

Household income 50k a month, that's two or three working adults in each house.

Education isn't about how much you spend, plenty of no-hopers in expensive private schools.

I prefer my kids to fit into the society they live in, in this case Thailand.

[YeahSiam]

"Another Thai basher,

Government school good enough for Thais kids, but not good enough for a former *plumber from Oldham."

It isn't Thai bashing. Thai government schools aren't good enough for Thai kids. Thai parents spend whatever they can afford on education. Those that can afford good private schools do. No middle class family with money would send their kid to government school.

"Daughter will be, doctor, pharmacist, government worker, schoolteacher of some sort in Thailand."

As for Doctor that is serious wishful thinking. Sorry but chances of government school kids passing the entrance exam for medical school here is very low. Less than a 10% chance even with the lower scores required for Northern students. Pharmacists again are very restrictive and competing against students at the top private schools most kids in government schools don't have a chance. There are a few government schools in Thailand that have a solid reputation but not many.

As for a government worker or a school teacher that is doable especially since teacher's have the lowest required scores for entrance. They also have to work extremely long hours and get paid quite low.

So congratulations to you for starting your children off lower in life than what you are at.

Parents should do all it takes to ensure their children have a better life not a lower quality of life.

So according to Maejo wanting to have our families have a good middle class life is Thai bashing because in his mind all Thai people are poor. Now who has a negative view of Thai people?

It isn't Thai bashing to want to live a middle class life or provide that for your family. Giving your children the generic vaccinations that don't even qualify for western standards. You do realize Maejo that if you ever send your kids back to your home country they couldn't even go to school unless you redid most of their vaccinations. Private hospitals are more expensive but they use the better vaccinations that are western standard.

I really wouldn't brag that your daughter's entire education is what most middle class families spend for 1 term.

What are you saving your money for? You claim to live in a middle class area everyone earning 50k a month so then why do you not send your kids to the same schools as your neighbors?

the op didn't write what is the bare min. I have to spend to make sure that my child is one step up from poverty. He wanted a reasonable range of what it costs.

Yeah but you're not seeing

MaeJo's agenda. Sub-

standard government

education system ensures

there are plenty of dumb

young girls for MaeJo and

his type can pay a pittance

to get their Jurassic rocks

off with when they're 70 or

80+.

[YeahSiam]

It isn't Thai bashing to want to live a middle class life or provide that for your family. Giving your children the generic vaccinations that don't even qualify for western standards. You do realize Maejo that if you ever send your kids back to your home country they couldn't even go to school unless you redid most of their vaccinations. Private hospitals are more expensive but they use the better vaccinations that are western standard.

I really wouldn't brag that your daughter's entire education is what most middle class families spend for 1 term.

What are you saving your money for? You claim to live in a middle class area everyone earning 50k a month so then why do you not send your kids to the same schools as your neighbors?

the op didn't write what is the bare min. I have to spend to make sure that my child is one step up from poverty. He wanted a reasonable range of what it costs.

Vaccinations are optional in the UK, none of my 4 UK children had any.

In Thailand I have no choice.

My neighbors are all 1 pay packet from repossession, not a life I would ever choose.

Household income 50k a month, that's two or three working adults in each house.

Education isn't about how much you spend, plenty of no-hopers in expensive private schools.

I prefer my kids to fit into the society they live in, in this case Thailand.

Far more no-hopers

percentage-wise in crappy

government schools than in

private or international ones.

Only a total cheapskate

wouldn't at least give his kids

the chance

Edited June 24, 2015 by YeahSiam

[MaeJoMTB]

Far more no-hopers

percentage-wise in crappy

government schools than in

private or international ones.

Only a total cheapskate

wouldn't at least give his kids

the chance

I've worked in plenty of 'estate schools' in the UK which were worse than the Thai government school my kids attend.

I think many of you have a very overblown idea of you own countries services.

How many posters on this forum don't know the difference between lose and loose, your and you're, etc.

I'm assuming they were all schooled in the western government school system, which you applaud so much.

And look at the way you post?

Retarded or demented? Hard to tell.

Do you actually know how to write in sentences, or are you claiming you were taught in a Thai government school?

[YeahSiam]

Far more no-hopers

percentage-wise in crappy

government schools than in

private or international ones.

Only a total cheapskate

wouldn't at least give his kids

the chance

I've worked in plenty of 'estate schools' in the UK which were worse than the Thai government school my kids attend.

I think many of you have a very overblown idea of you own countries services.

How many posters on this forum don't know the difference between lose and loose, your and you're, etc.

I'm assuming they were all schooled in the western government school system, which you applaud so much.

And look at the way you post?

Retarded or demented? Hard to tell.

Do you actually know how to write in sentences, or are you claiming you were taught in a Thai government school?

Hmm I'll take your cheap

shots at my posting style

as meaning you've run out

of BS excuses for being a

scrooge with your child's

education, then? People

would have a lot more

sympathy if - like a man -

you just admitted you can't

afford it instead of making

up lame excuses about a

Thai state education being

anything close to adequate

in 2015.

[MaeJoMTB]

^^

I'm guessing you haven't spent any time in a western school since you left.

50 years ago stuff was different.

[YeahSiam]

^^

I'm guessing you haven't spent any time in a western school since you left.

50 years ago stuff was different.

50 years ago? Way off, pal,

way off. I'm mid 40s with a

fine British, education at the

London Oratory School.

http://www.standard.co.uk/lifestyle/london-life/londons-10-super-state-schools-9173037.html

London Oratory SW6

USP: Tutors to the children of the Blairs, the Cleggs and the Harmans, its mix of Catholic discipline and academic rigour is so sought-after that Tatler says “you practically have to have the Pope on speed-dial”.

Famous alums: Hayley Atwell, Simon Callow.

[huawei]

Obviously we all give our kids the best we can afford. Should go without saying.

That aside, it astonishes me that so many posts are based on the assumption that the average Thai life is not worth living. That even the remotest chance of it should be considered too great a risk to impose on an unborn child.

Average Thai life..is? Also it's compared to the options you have as a westerner...especially education. This is a developing country and if you live outside the main cities the chances of a reasonable education diminish.

It's not about not worth living..all life is worth living..I think it's again down to someone's justification for not educating their children to the best of their ability because they like living here! There are options here but they are extremely expensive.

Being poor ain't fun anywhere....

[huawei]

^^

I'm guessing you haven't spent any time in a western school since you left.

50 years ago stuff was different.

You haven't spent much time observing what goes on in a Thai classroom. I did it was a shock given the superficial politeness, the cleanliness of the school, pupils appearing to be well behaved, respecting teachers..all means nowt for the average pupil.

[cheeryble]

Ok thanks to all for answers it's given lots to consider on both sides.

As my jism is v poor it probably means no vasectomy necessary so some of you can relax about that.

Second I am now considering about poor sperm producing damaged offspring.

Third thanks for the range of expenses.

I'm not exactly poor but no pension IE no total security, so a "proper" education would certainly be at least a burden.

(Gotta say though just like choosing medical treatment one can make good economising choices in education I dare say and of course the biggest factor will be offspring will automatically speak excellent English there is no greater bonus than that as way over 99% of written word in the world is non Thai.)

All things considered I'm tending to the "no" vote.

As I used to say to missus "don't you think there are enough kids in the world?"

This leaves a couple of things:

1. The fact that I am the end of the line.

2. Much more important:

To consider other options than true familial parenthood to satisfy my wife....and my.....desire to contribute something to a child/children and get the warmth she needs in return.

Might be anywhere on the scale from doing quite a lot of looking after niece and nephew ....whcih we already do and it's a mutual love fest .....to maybe occasionally kinda looking after/teaching some one or two kids....and I guess all the way to full fosterhood maybe for someone needy.

As I'm not truly loaded a middle course may be best.

So I wonder if kind posters here could suggest options I haven't mentioned or expand on those I have.

Edited June 24, 2015 by cheeryble

[blackcab]

Ok thanks to all for answers it's given lots to consider on both sides.

As my jism is v poor it probably means no vasectomy necessary so some of you can relax about that.

Second I am now considering about poor sperm producing damaged offspring.

Third thanks for the range of expenses.

I'm not exactly poor but no pension IE no total security, so a "proper" education would certainly be at least a burden.

(Gotta say though just like choosing medical treatment one can make good economising choices in education I dare say and of course the biggest factor will be offspring will automatically speak excellent English there is no greater bonus than that as way over 99% of written word in the world is non Thai.)

All things considered I'm tending to the "no" vote.

As I used to say to missus "don't you think there are enough kids in the world?"

This leaves a couple of things:

1. The fact that I am the end of the line.

2. Much more important:

To consider other options than true familial parenthood to satisfy my wife....and my.....desire to contribute something to a child/children and get the warmth she needs in return.

Might be anywhere on the scale from doing quite a lot of looking after niece and nephew ....whcih we already do and it's a mutual love fest .....to maybe occasionally kinda looking after/teaching some one or two kids....and I guess all the way to full fosterhood maybe for someone needy.

As I'm not truly loaded a middle course may be best.

So I wonder if kind posters here could suggest options I haven't mentioned or expand on those I have.

Get a dog.

[cheeryble]

Forget it, but it's not an affordable issue, rather one of age. It's selfish. You'll never be able to kick a football with the kid, go fishing, and you'll definitely not see him/her grow up, not that you'll remember anyway.

Thanks for the thought, but to point out difference in individuals yesterday I cycled on the middle cog 6km up Doi Suthep.

When i got back down I went up the first, steepest few hundred metres again out of the saddle pumping all the way.

I then went swimming.

Today I did a power yoga class off a website for an hour and followed with 50 lengths of the pool best part of a km.

My BIL is 85 he still runs regularly.

But yes i take your point.

[Liquorice]

I am sure you are quite right Mr Faz (well you must be right as you state "the truth is ") but how do YOU define cradle snatching ?

Do you have specific ages in mind or age differences for example ?

How old is my wife do you suppose? Ahhh, so is that cradle snatching ?

Charles and Diana say? Michael Douglas and Catherine? Charlie Chapiln and various ? Bernie Ecclestone ?

So, frowned upon by whom and also useful to know in which countries please just so your assertion can be examined?

I don't have to define it.

Just Google it and you'll find the answer.

It's down to your personal morals, ethics and standards and personally I could never date or marry someone who was young enough to be my daughter. I prefer to look into my existing children's eye's with a clear conscience.

[Liquorice]

We pensioners as you seem to so disparagingly but correctly refer to me and others of my vintage were and are able to spend all the long days with their kids.

How much time did you spend with yours ? Climbing the career ladder; leaving home before they woke up; getting home after they were in bed; knackered at weekends; struggling and arguing over finances; no time to swim every day after school; no time to help with homework.

.

I think it is YOU and not I that has to ask & question yourself

Your cocking your leg up the wrong tree there matey.

Just ask any child if they prefer a part time Dad, for a long time in their life.

Or a full time Dad, for a short time in their life.

That's one consideration you selfishly neglect when you have children at a late age.

[Roadman]

Ok thanks to all for answers it's given lots to consider on both sides.

As my jism is v poor it probably means no vasectomy necessary so some of you can relax about that.

Second I am now considering about poor sperm producing damaged offspring.

Third thanks for the range of expenses.

I'm not exactly poor but no pension IE no total security, so a "proper" education would certainly be at least a burden.

(Gotta say though just like choosing medical treatment one can make good economising choices in education I dare say and of course the biggest factor will be offspring will automatically speak excellent English there is no greater bonus than that as way over 99% of written word in the world is non Thai.)

All things considered I'm tending to the "no" vote.

As I used to say to missus "don't you think there are enough kids in the world?"

This leaves a couple of things:

1. The fact that I am the end of the line.

2. Much more important:

To consider other options than true familial parenthood to satisfy my wife....and my.....desire to contribute something to a child/children and get the warmth she needs in return.

Might be anywhere on the scale from doing quite a lot of looking after niece and nephew ....whcih we already do and it's a mutual love fest .....to maybe occasionally kinda looking after/teaching some one or two kids....and I guess all the way to full fosterhood maybe for someone needy.

As I'm not truly loaded a middle course may be best.

So I wonder if kind posters here could suggest options I haven't mentioned or expand on those I have.

Get a dog.

Is that to replace the wife or the potential child?

But seriously were the possibility of children not considered when the relationship was first explored? Especially with a younger partner who has not but still wants children. Her needs are now only being taken into consideration?

That aside and that you have already embarked down the track, my suggestion would be to adopt as that would go far closer to sharing a full loving parental experience and meeting your partners needs than borrowing a niece or nephew. And disagree with the but, but you won't / might not be around. A mature fully interested Dad around for whatever time he can contribute is better than the over riding Thai male attitude of providing the sperm and walking out the door with no further contact for the next brainless young cutey that flashes her ass.

Edited June 25, 2015 by Roadman

[Linzz]

We pensioners as you seem to so disparagingly but correctly refer to me and others of my vintage were and are able to spend all the long days with their kids.

How much time did you spend with yours ? Climbing the career ladder; leaving home before they woke up; getting home after they were in bed; knackered at weekends; struggling and arguing over finances; no time to swim every day after school; no time to help with homework.

.

I think it is YOU and not I that has to ask & question yourself

Your cocking your leg up the wrong tree there matey.

Just ask any child if they prefer a part time Dad, for a long time in their life.

Or a full time Dad, for a short time in their life.

That's one consideration you selfishly neglect when you have children at a late age.

Which is best? There is a lot of judgement here. Quality time should be the criteria whether that be for a short or a long time.

[Linzz]

I am sure you are quite right Mr Faz (well you must be right as you state "the truth is ") but how do YOU define cradle snatching ?

Do you have specific ages in mind or age differences for example ?

How old is my wife do you suppose? Ahhh, so is that cradle snatching ?

Charles and Diana say? Michael Douglas and Catherine? Charlie Chapiln and various ? Bernie Ecclestone ?

So, frowned upon by whom and also useful to know in which countries please just so your assertion can be examined?

I don't have to define it.

Just Google it and you'll find the answer.

It's down to your personal morals, ethics and standards and personally I could never date or marry someone who was young enough to be my daughter. I prefer to look into my existing children's eye's with a clear conscience.

I understand your sentiments, you think it unseemly. We all have to grapple with those sort of challenges. But how do you define it? The variables are huge so it ultimately comes down to personal choice.Does the equation change if you had children when you were quite young? Where do you draw the line so definitely? One decade older, one year older, one week older than your daughter? When I was 5 years old I was 25% of my mother's age. Now she being 95 I am 70% of her age. Each to their own conscience and provided nobody is doing another injury and common sense prevails then nobody has the right or presumption to judge another by their own values.

[Liquorice]

We pensioners as you seem to so disparagingly but correctly refer to me and others of my vintage were and are able to spend all the long days with their kids.

How much time did you spend with yours ? Climbing the career ladder; leaving home before they woke up; getting home after they were in bed; knackered at weekends; struggling and arguing over finances; no time to swim every day after school; no time to help with homework.

.

I think it is YOU and not I that has to ask & question yourself

Your cocking your leg up the wrong tree there matey.

Just ask any child if they prefer a part time Dad, for a long time in their life.

Or a full time Dad, for a short time in their life.

That's one consideration you selfishly neglect when you have children at a late age.

Which is best? There is a lot of judgement here. Quality time should be the criteria whether that be for a short or a long time.

My Father died when I was 11.

The choice of 'quality time' together was taken away from both of us.

We didn't have a choice.

Starting a Family at Pensionable age, will also certainly increase the chances that you will also remove that choice of 'quality time' together from the child. I know the problems that child will face and how they will feel..

You fortunately have the right to that choice.

If you cannot fulfil the expectation to raise a child to an age where he can stand on his own two feet, then I think your actions and decisions are purely selfish and based on your own wants without any consideration to the future of the child you so seemingly want to bring into this world, knowing your departure could be around the corner.

No amount of money you leave as support, can replace the emotional support that child will loose.

[offset]

We pensioners as you seem to so disparagingly but correctly refer to me and others of my vintage were and are able to spend all the long days with their kids.

How much time did you spend with yours ? Climbing the career ladder; leaving home before they woke up; getting home after they were in bed; knackered at weekends; struggling and arguing over finances; no time to swim every day after school; no time to help with homework.

.

I think it is YOU and not I that has to ask & question yourself

Your cocking your leg up the wrong tree there matey.

Just ask any child if they prefer a part time Dad, for a long time in their life.

Or a full time Dad, for a short time in their life.

That's one consideration you selfishly neglect when you have children at a late age.

Which is best? There is a lot of judgement here. Quality time should be the criteria whether that be for a short or a long time.

My Father died when I was 11.

The choice of 'quality time' together was taken away from both of us.

We didn't have a choice.

Starting a Family at Pensionable age, will also certainly increase the chances that you will also remove that choice of 'quality time' together from the child. I know the problems that child will face and how they will feel..

You fortunately have the right to that choice.

If you cannot fulfil the expectation to raise a child to an age where he can stand on his own two feet, then I think your actions and decisions are purely selfish and based on your own wants without any consideration to the future of the child you so seemingly want to bring into this world, knowing your departure could be around the corner.

No amount of money you leave as support, can replace the emotional support that child will loose.

Can I ask you if you feel sorry that your father brought you into this world or can you say that you honestly wish you was never born

[huawei]

We pensioners as you seem to so disparagingly but correctly refer to me and others of my vintage were and are able to spend all the long days with their kids.

How much time did you spend with yours ? Climbing the career ladder; leaving home before they woke up; getting home after they were in bed; knackered at weekends; struggling and arguing over finances; no time to swim every day after school; no time to help with homework.

.

I think it is YOU and not I that has to ask & question yourself

Your cocking your leg up the wrong tree there matey.

Just ask any child if they prefer a part time Dad, for a long time in their life.

Or a full time Dad, for a short time in their life.

That's one consideration you selfishly neglect when you have children at a late age.

Which is best? There is a lot of judgement here. Quality time should be the criteria whether that be for a short or a long time.

My Father died when I was 11.

The choice of 'quality time' together was taken away from both of us.

We didn't have a choice.

Starting a Family at Pensionable age, will also certainly increase the chances that you will also remove that choice of 'quality time' together from the child. I know the problems that child will face and how they will feel..

You fortunately have the right to that choice.

If you cannot fulfil the expectation to raise a child to an age where he can stand on his own two feet, then I think your actions and decisions are purely selfish and based on your own wants without any consideration to the future of the child you so seemingly want to bring into this world, knowing your departure could be around the corner.

No amount of money you leave as support, can replace the emotional support that child will loose.

Can I ask you if you feel sorry that your father brought you into this world or can you say that you honestly wish you was never born

What a stupid question! As if there was a choice ( by him)..he is right..he has actually experienced what it is like to lose a father infinitely more qualified than you.

What is it about a father for a short time or part time/ longer tie crap...there are many decent fathers out there who had children at a sensible age..I know many..and really good dads too ( here in Thailand)

Yet Look at some of the old fathers here..seem more inclined to prop up a bar and leave it to the wife..completely dysfunctional.

[offset]

We pensioners as you seem to so disparagingly but correctly refer to me and others of my vintage were and are able to spend all the long days with their kids.

How much time did you spend with yours ? Climbing the career ladder; leaving home before they woke up; getting home after they were in bed; knackered at weekends; struggling and arguing over finances; no time to swim every day after school; no time to help with homework.

.

I think it is YOU and not I that has to ask & question yourself

Your cocking your leg up the wrong tree there matey.

Just ask any child if they prefer a part time Dad, for a long time in their life.

Or a full time Dad, for a short time in their life.

That's one consideration you selfishly neglect when you have children at a late age.

Which is best? There is a lot of judgement here. Quality time should be the criteria whether that be for a short or a long time.

My Father died when I was 11.

The choice of 'quality time' together was taken away from both of us.

We didn't have a choice.

Starting a Family at Pensionable age, will also certainly increase the chances that you will also remove that choice of 'quality time' together from the child. I know the problems that child will face and how they will feel..

You fortunately have the right to that choice.

If you cannot fulfil the expectation to raise a child to an age where he can stand on his own two feet, then I think your actions and decisions are purely selfish and based on your own wants without any consideration to the future of the child you so seemingly want to bring into this world, knowing your departure could be around the corner.

No amount of money you leave as support, can replace the emotional support that child will loose.

Can I ask you if you feel sorry that your father brought you into this world or can you say that you honestly wish you was never born

What a stupid question! As if there was a choice ( by him)..he is right..he has actually experienced what it is like to lose a father infinitely more qualified than you.

What is it about a father for a short time or part time/ longer tie crap...there are many decent fathers out there who had children at a sensible age..I know many..and really good dads too ( here in Thailand)

Yet Look at some of the old fathers here..seem more inclined to prop up a bar and leave it to the wife..completely dysfunctional.

I did not ask him if he had a choice I ask if he wished he never been born

How many old fathers do you actually know or do you presume that all old men that prop up a bar are fathers of young children