The Blonde

[Simbo]

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave her 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he thought there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said,"I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk, did you mean 1.5 gallons?" "No, she said "I want 15 gallons, I'm going to fill my bath up and take a milk bath" The milkman asked," do you want it pasteurized" " No", she said, " just up to my tits will do, I can splash it in my eyes"

[kurgen]

Traceys sugar daddy dies and to her horror doesn't leave her a penny.

Being a self motivated,multi-talented (Mc D's fodder)dumb blonde she sets of to the expensive end of town looking for odd jobs.

She walks up to the largest house on the estate and bangs on the door.

"Have you got any odd jobs mister,I can do anything"

"Can you paint madame"

"Oh yes sir,I'm very good at painting"

"I'll give you 50 pounds if you paint my porch"

She thinks about it for a minute then agrees.

"The paint is in the shed round the back,don't disturb me untill you're finished"

He closes the door and congratulates himself,the job was worth 200 of anyones money.

15 minutes later she bangs on the door.

"What do you want ,I told you not to disturb me until you were finished"

"I have finished and just so you know thats not a porch,it's a Ferrari ,dummy !

[et33.com]

Knowing the Differnce

An old married couple were driving down the road one day when suddenly the woman punched her husband right in the face. He shouted, "what the ###### was that for?". She replied, "That was for 50 years of the worst sex I ever had!"

As they continued down the road, suddenly the man hit his wife square in the face. She turned to him and said, "what was that for?"

He said, "that, was for knowing the difference."

[mandl]

Then there was the blonde that was so broke she went walking through a neighborhood to see if there were any chores she could do to make some money.

Finally she knocked on a door and the man told her "I'll give you $100 to paint my porch."

The blonde agreed and the man brought out the paint and brushes.

About an hour later, as the man was inside drinking a beer and congratulating himself on the deal he had made, the blonde knocks on the door.

"I'm all done." she says. "And by the way, it's a Mercedes, not a Porsche."