Where exactly do we stand in the Thai social scale - Buffalo

[CharlieH]

Off topic/Bickering posts removed.

[geriatrickid]

All the shizer that you clever dicks rant on about are irrlelevent to the OP He is calling it as he sees it doesn't

matter if he is a victim or not

He is whinging and ranting cos the natives will not kow tow down to him thats all

No he's not. He's relating an event. There is no statement that he expects kow towing, He is expecting some basic manners, nothing more.

[OKOK23]

Op

Are you alright

You have to stand strong for your ownself. When you let someone take advantage of you it will continue until you start to fight back.

Even though good people will not take advantage of someone even they have a chance to do so

You still can save your family. You can convince them to treat you nice. Or if you can bear it just let it be. It very hard to change people

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[fang37]

An old saying come to mind - actions speak louder than words.

I suggest that you get off your arse; no whining - just do it.

If you don't, there is a high probability that things will just get worse than they are now.

[tartempion]

OP, you are not alone.

In fact I don't care, her folks rarely visit us, although they live only 1 km away.

I do visit the grand mother of my daughter a few times/week for max 15 minutes. Often I see other family members there, they ignore me, so do I.

[FritsSikkink]

My immediate family drove up to our house: younger sister, her oldest daughter, and her youngest son.

My wife says, "Come out and say hello."

So I come out, walk up to them, look at each of them in the eye: No one will even make eye contact with me. The youngest son yammers with himself; The oldest daughter won't even look in my direction, too busy picking buger out of her nose; and my wife and her sister are too busily engaged in "CONVERSATION" to even notice that I'm standing two feet from them attempting to say hello and acknowledge their visit.

I stand, I stand, I'm ignored. And then internally I finally say, "<deleted> it!" Also I'm thinking two things:

Number 1. Is this just because I'm a farang, an outsider, someone with status in Thailand between a Cow and Dog; or us this

Number 2. Thai culture degenerating to the point where younger people no longer respect elders.

Now. In my own view, I probably have the status of a Buffalo, which is ironic because I believe that the Thai Buffalo is one of the most important animals in Thailand, and probably one most worthy of immense respect. The average Thai will never understand that: just a f**king Buffalo.

I'm tired of the disrespect. I'm tired of being treated like a farm animal.

For my American and other "Farang" friends, Thai immigration now has moved to a smaller office. Folks who are 60,70, 80 or older are forced to stand outside in the sun. Right now, today, we had a nice balmy 82. Six weeks ago it was in the 100s. And we are suppose to stand outside, very few chairs are provided, and from a Thai forum that I subscribe to, the comment was made that after the foreigner were pushed outside, the smell was much better inside the office. That's what we deal with.

I personally believe that most consider me to be simply on the same status of Buffalo. I have supported my family with an income in excess of multiples of what Thais make, and I've spent a majority of my retirement funds taking care of my family.

And what is my equal here in Prateat Thai? A water buffalo. If you think I'm kidding, at the new Chiang Mai immigration offices, foreigners are forced outside to sit along side a corral of sheep and goats. Yep! That's the respect we have here in Thailand. Anyone who thinks I'm kidding just go the the Chiang Mai forum on this issue. NancyL did a wonderful job outlining the facts.

And I'm not sure how much longer I want to put up with this, Buffalo Kee. My wife knows this too.

Oh, don't think I speak, read and write Thai. All this went out to my family in written Thai tonight. This last week in the country has pissed me off beyond repair.

And I won't even respond to comments. Most of you people don't have a clue.

attempting to say hello, &lt;deleted&gt;, just say it , is it that hard?

[Dumbastheycome]

OK, I'm a Farang, and will always be a Farang. Even in the country where I happened to be born.

For me, the questions are:

1. How am I treated when I come from another culture?

2. How is someone from another culture (eg a Thai) treated in the West?

Ad 1:

I love to go undercover sometimes.

As a bum, completely broke, I was treated worse than a dog in Germany.

In Thailand, I was treated like a human being when I ran out of money.

Ad 2:

Have a look at the media and find out how immigrants are treated in certain Western countries.

Try to invite a Thai to your home country, with or without a permanent address in that country. Germans will probably point you to the madhouse, their favourite asylum for deviants that they can't jail or deport.

So true! I live in Thailand because my wife and I have already experienced the discrimination against her by immigration services in my home country.

Here in Thailand I will always be farang but I do have respect from many and inevitable disrespect from others. But I have never been offered the pure insult my wife experienced entering my home country as a tourist ! As a result my wife said that although it was a very nice place to visit and see shewas uninterested in evr staying long term.

I have concluded that the genre of that policy is due to so many politicians and civil servants who come to Thailand on "business" trips who actually come more for the likes of what places Pattaya is now legend for.

As a result same visitors are in paranoid fear that Thai (especially women) who reverse the travel may be recognised on the street in company of their wives!

By comparason Immigration services in Thailand are at worst uncommunicative unless there is an issue but generally very pleasant.

The most common mistake Farang make here is to succumb to the "expectation" they have an open wallet that is always full!

If getting involved in a relationship entails the "meet the family" scenario then token gifts of food or fruit are enough.

Once you are sucked into the busload of family and pseudo family members taking you shopping at your cost......you are marked!

Politely decline for reasons of fatigue or anything except a flat refusal. That is the Thai way.

Then when the "prize bull parade" is finished you can be selective in what you agree to pay for and for whom.

And in the longer term demonstrate your own ability ( if you are fortunate to have) in performing tasks ahead of merely paying someone else to do. And if the opportunity arises offer assistance even if only for a minute in some community effort.

Alternatively....be the ATM.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

What country?

[micmichd]

What country?

Germany, my gf and only family are Thai.

[thaibeachlovers]

I have supported my family with an income in excess of multiples of what Thais make, and I've spent a majority of my retirement funds taking care of my family.

Nobody forced you to. I don't and they don't like it but that's their problem.

Your problem seems to be that you expect gratitude. I don't think they know what that is, in the same way we do.

I used to expect a thank you for the work I have done on their house, but not anymore.

I'm happy that my wife has given up trying to make me join in family gatherings. I used to say "sawasdee khap" till she told me I had to wai if I said that, so now I just say hello when they arrive and we ignore each other till I say goodbye.

[thaibeachlovers]

OK, I'm a Farang, and will always be a Farang. Even in the country where I happened to be born.

For me, the questions are:

1. How am I treated when I come from another culture?

2. How is someone from another culture (eg a Thai) treated in the West?

Ad 1:

I love to go undercover sometimes.

As a bum, completely broke, I was treated worse than a dog in Germany.

In Thailand, I was treated like a human being when I ran out of money.

Ad 2:

Have a look at the media and find out how immigrants are treated in certain Western countries.

Try to invite a Thai to your home country, with or without a permanent address in that country. Germans will probably point you to the madhouse, their favourite asylum for deviants that they can't jail or deport.

So true! I live in Thailand because my wife and I have already experienced the discrimination against her by immigration services in my home country.

Here in Thailand I will always be farang but I do have respect from many and inevitable disrespect from others. But I have never been offered the pure insult my wife experienced entering my home country as a tourist ! As a result my wife said that although it was a very nice place to visit and see shewas uninterested in evr staying long term.

I have concluded that the genre of that policy is due to so many politicians and civil servants who come to Thailand on "business" trips who actually come more for the likes of what places Pattaya is now legend for.

As a result same visitors are in paranoid fear that Thai (especially women) who reverse the travel may be recognised on the street in company of their wives!

By comparason Immigration services in Thailand are at worst uncommunicative unless there is an issue but generally very pleasant.

The most common mistake Farang make here is to succumb to the "expectation" they have an open wallet that is always full!

If getting involved in a relationship entails the "meet the family" scenario then token gifts of food or fruit are enough.

Once you are sucked into the busload of family and pseudo family members taking you shopping at your cost......you are marked!

Politely decline for reasons of fatigue or anything except a flat refusal. That is the Thai way.

Then when the "prize bull parade" is finished you can be selective in what you agree to pay for and for whom.

And in the longer term demonstrate your own ability ( if you are fortunate to have) in performing tasks ahead of merely paying someone else to do. And if the opportunity arises offer assistance even if only for a minute in some community effort.

Alternatively....be the ATM.

Once you are sucked into the busload of family and pseudo family members taking you shopping at your cost......you are marked!

Never happened to me, but I'm quite good at saying no.

[Henryford]

Same when i go to see my tgf's family. I suddenly change into a piece of furniture and i am totally ignored (unless of course there is some cash to be paid out). They don't even have the decency to smile and say sawatdee.

[MaeJoMTB]

Same when i go to see my tgf's family. I suddenly change into a piece of furniture and i am totally ignored (unless of course there is some cash to be paid out). They don't even have the decency to smile and say sawatdee.

Why do you go?

Just wondering?

[Linzz]

"Politely decline for reasons of fatigue or anything except a flat refusal. That is the Thai way."

Wise words. They get the message and you have not been confrontational

[FritsSikkink]

Same when i go to see my tgf's family. I suddenly change into a piece of furniture and i am totally ignored (unless of course there is some cash to be paid out). They don't even have the decency to smile and say sawatdee.

maybe you should start a conversation for a change or haven't you anything interesting to day?

[Joey J]

I do wonder why with so many of you obviously dis-liking the people and country so much, why you are still here?

My Wife lives here I like my Wife, I dont like Thai people in general ,I dont like Thai culture at all ,I dont like Thai religion or any for that matter, I do like Thai countryside when its not full of the crap they throw everywhere.

hey Im being honest

So should I go home as i dont like the people/culture but do like the countryside?

yes

[nontabury]

hey you are just a money bad for them..

the poorer thais are the nastier they are and the worst manners and ethics they have..

its just the way thailand is philipines is like that too..

other places like nepal poor and some parts of india, tibet and amdo, Ethiopia.... simple villages in isloated areas are the mostly polite and well mannered folk at least from what ive

seen..

its just the "culture" or lack of in this part of asia..

ive never had some people stare and point in isloated places in nepal ... they know it is rude and dont do it even if they see few europeans..(unlike thailand)

poor people in Ethiopia and Eritrea didnt say disrespectful things and make impolite comments when they thought you didnt understand..

in thailand they do this all the time..

thai people especially the lower classes dont know humility ethics manners and and huge egos while being very poorly educated and lacking a desire to learn..

most thais im friendly with are of chinese decent..

they make up a large portion of the thai middle upper class and generally have more contact with western things.. just as youll notice more thai chinese can speak english than thais..

less educated thais have unfortunately a huge jealousy of westerners.. and want to be like use or compete with us but dont know how..

they will pretend they know something when they dont or pretend how they are doing something is good or skillfull when its your silly... also you can not teach them a single thing..

the more educated english speaking thais are much much better. anddont do many of these things.. sure they also are superficial and greedy but so are many cultures.. its not rare..

in malaya in a small dayak village when a tribesman shows me how he shaves the sides of his head with his parang or when he shows how he sharpens it i listen intently and watch because hes not showing me bullshit pretending he know to "impress me" or show that im "silly and hes smart" its because he comes from a skilled culture with a rich tradition of hand skills and its how he has been taught to do it.. .. ..

thailand dost have this tradition in the villages. so these villages are rather skilless culture less places that are really just undisciplined dens of gossip recreational sex and drugs and petty lying

such is thai village life..

and 80% of thai people are village people.... like it or not... even in bangkok it is mostly like that.. gossip petty shit snarky sneering comments...ect..

nerds in thailand are for the most part ok though.. i found they are just like nerds everywhere, read books computer games.. shit like that they mostly are much more exposed to out habits and more likely to interact with you as an equal..

a good freind of mine.. thai person.. he has worked with europeans.. mostly french german companies... for most for his working life... said..

thai people are always smiling but its just a mask... and if you really speak thai well and understand its nuances you will know how bad, how rude and how disrespectful many people are.. with each other too not just us.....

i have many malay friends... even uneducated people from villages... they see i treat them as equal and am polite and we can become acquaintances. i lived in rural malaysia some time. they appreciated my knowlage of metal working and wood working ect.. .. in thailand it is absolutely not possible you can only be friends with people who are of an equatable class of education to europeans

anything less and ther eis just a huge inferiority complex..

that being said i have some very good and kind thai friends.. but again all are from a middle upper class background.. some are very kind and very helpful and have been better friends to me than most westernern friends ive had... .

to the op...

your family is not a family they are parasites for you..

they dont respect you and they dont give a <deleted> about you.. LEAVE NOW..

you have nothing in common with them..

you can find a decent middle class thai lady your own age who will have her own income and behave closer to what you expect in their family will interest more in the way you are use to and you will not be viewed as some sort of alien money bag

..

What a load of rubbish! While there are some Thais as you describe,to speak about them as if they all are like this.shows that you do not know many Thais,especially when you try to pigeonhole them by class.

[micmichd]

Those "isolated villages" that many foreigners favour will disappear, simply because foreigners went there, and after that the villages are not isolated anymore.

[thaibeachlovers]

I do wonder why with so many of you obviously dis-liking the people and country so much, why you are still here?

My Wife lives here I like my Wife, I dont like Thai people in general ,I dont like Thai culture at all ,I dont like Thai religion or any for that matter, I do like Thai countryside when its not full of the crap they throw everywhere.

hey Im being honest

So should I go home as i dont like the people/culture but do like the countryside?

yes

Why?

It's up to him as to what he wants to do, as long as it's not against the law.

[thaibeachlovers]

Same when i go to see my tgf's family. I suddenly change into a piece of furniture and i am totally ignored (unless of course there is some cash to be paid out). They don't even have the decency to smile and say sawatdee.

maybe you should start a conversation for a change or haven't you anything interesting to day?

Why is it HIS responsibility to make conversation? Why should HE make an effort with people that obviously have no respect for him?

Personally, I like being ignored by my wife's family, as it absolves me of the need to make an effort to associate with people I have nothing in common with and only want me to give them money.

If I wasn't married I'd never want to associate with them anyway.

I'll make an effort with them the day they say thank you to me for fixing up their houses, but as they never will that isn't going to happen.

Edited August 5, 2015 by thaibeachlovers

[Charlescheap]

Move to the Philippines.....Same same but different......

[micmichd]

Move to the Philippines.....Same same but different......

More Catholic?

[Charlescheap]

95 percent of country.

[micmichd]

What again was the topic?

Where exactly do we stand in the food chain?

[CharlieH]

Petty bickering and responses removed.

7) You will respect fellow members and post in a civil manner. No personal attacks, hateful or insulting towards other members, (flaming) Stalking of members on either the forum or via PM will not be allowed.

[Cypress Hill]

OK, I'm a Farang, and will always be a Farang. Even in the country where I happened to be born.

For me, the questions are:

1. How am I treated when I come from another culture?

2. How is someone from another culture (eg a Thai) treated in the West?

Ad 1:

I love to go undercover sometimes.

As a bum, completely broke, I was treated worse than a dog in Germany.

In Thailand, I was treated like a human being when I ran out of money.

Ad 2:

Have a look at the media and find out how immigrants are treated in certain Western countries.

Try to invite a Thai to your home country, with or without a permanent address in that country. Germans will probably point you to the madhouse, their favourite asylum for deviants that they can't jail or deport.

So true! I live in Thailand because my wife and I have already experienced the discrimination against her by immigration services in my home country.

Here in Thailand I will always be farang but I do have respect from many and inevitable disrespect from others. But I have never been offered the pure insult my wife experienced entering my home country as a tourist ! As a result my wife said that although it was a very nice place to visit and see shewas uninterested in evr staying long term.

I have concluded that the genre of that policy is due to so many politicians and civil servants who come to Thailand on "business" trips who actually come more for the likes of what places Pattaya is now legend for.

As a result same visitors are in paranoid fear that Thai (especially women) who reverse the travel may be recognised on the street in company of their wives!

By comparason Immigration services in Thailand are at worst uncommunicative unless there is an issue but generally very pleasant.

The most common mistake Farang make here is to succumb to the "expectation" they have an open wallet that is always full!

If getting involved in a relationship entails the "meet the family" scenario then token gifts of food or fruit are enough.

Once you are sucked into the busload of family and pseudo family members taking you shopping at your cost......you are marked!

Politely decline for reasons of fatigue or anything except a flat refusal. That is the Thai way.

Then when the "prize bull parade" is finished you can be selective in what you agree to pay for and for whom.

And in the longer term demonstrate your own ability ( if you are fortunate to have) in performing tasks ahead of merely paying someone else to do. And if the opportunity arises offer assistance even if only for a minute in some community effort.

Alternatively....be the ATM.

Alternatively, if you absolutely, positively HAVE to marry a Thai woman, at least make sure she and her family are solvent.

What was the insult your wife received by immigration?

[surangw]

its a scale that fluctuates ( coincides) with how much money you have and what important friends you have.

[lostoday]

its a scale that fluctuates ( coincides) with how much money you have and what important friends you have.

Pray tell, what country is not like this?

[surangw]

its a scale that fluctuates ( coincides) with how much money you have and what important friends you have.

Pray tell, what country is not like this?

if I knew, it would be a small list

[bwpage3]

To the OP

To be brutally honest if you dont want responses that may be 180 Degrees from your point of view then maybe you shouldn't open a topic up in the first place on a public forum

But people like Sourpeel can be forgiven for completely missing the point of your post in the first place because it fits in a general way of knocking all Thai ladies and their families

But at the end of the day the problem is and has been caused by you yourself, if you allow yourself to be walked over then the typical population whether it is Thai or European will do exactly that so maybe you should acquire some testosterone and tell them all where to go and if your wife doesn't like it or doesn't stand bye you then maybe she should also go as well !

If no one opened up a topic every time they had something personal to say or experience to share, then there wouldn't be a forum now would there?