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Surrogate mum lives in hope
PRATCH RUJIVANAROM
THE NATION


Oil

BANGKOK: -- AS SHE continues fighting for a chance to raise her daughter, Carmen's surrogate mother Oil still doesn't know if the baby girl is actually hers.

Speaking on behalf of Oil, lawyer Krit Khamtawee explained that she was not comfortable about the thought of her daughter being raised by two men. She said she would rather the baby was raised by her family, and that the father, Gordon Alan "Bud" Lake III, was welcome to stay and help raise their daughter.

However, Krit revealed that Oil still does not know if she carried an embryo or if she had been impregnated with Lake's sperm, so she doesn't know if she is genetically related to Carmen.

"She doesn't want any money from the couple [Lake and Manuel Santos]. She just wants to make sure that the girl will be raised in a good family with a mother and father. If Carmen is to be raised outside the country, then at least she [the mother] should be allowed to visit her," he said.

In an interview with Nation TV, Oil said she felt a strong bound with the baby as she had carried her for nine months. "I gave birth to this girl. For nine months I took care of her. I'm definitely bound to her and worry for her well-being, as I have not seen her since she was born six months ago," she said, adding that she had tried to contact the gay couple several times but in vain.

"All I want is to see her and ensure that she lives happily. I have tried so hard and contacted many agencies to help reunite me with my baby again," she said.

Her team of lawyers is asking for a DNA test to see exactly who Carmen's parents are, and if it is proved that she is not genetically related to the baby, then she will ask the gay couple to prove that they will be able to raise the child. However, Krit said, she would still want to visit Carmen regularly.

"If she is genetically related to Carmen, then she will ask for the right to raise the baby in Thailand," the lawyer said. Krit added that the surrogate mother's family was financially able to raise Carmen well, adding that Oil agreed to undergo surrogacy because she felt sorry for the couple, though she did not know that she was carrying the baby for two men.

"Oil works for a company selling fire-extinguishing equipment, and she and her partner already have a 15-year-old daughter. The family earns well and would have no difficulty raising another child," he said.

The lawyer explained that Oil had responded to a post on Facebook seeking a surrogate mother for a barren couple, so she felt sympathetic and contacted the agency listed in the post.

"The agency talked her into bearing a child for a couple she did not know. As the agency had also offered her money for the pregnancy, she agreed to sign the contract," he explained. However, after learning that the couple comprised two men, who did not want her to visit the child at all, she said she began worrying about the baby's future.

Krit said the public was wrong in condemning her, adding that she had never threatened the gay couple as reported. He added that they were planning to sue anybody who wrongly accused her.

"We also plan to send a petition directly to the social development and human security minister next week and hope to try and negotiate with the ministry as the mediator," he said.

Previously, the surrogate mother had voiced concerns that the gay couple might be human traffickers after learning that the couple had tried to go into a surrogacy deal with another woman.

Source: http://www.nationmultimedia.com/national/Surrogate-mum-lives-in-hope-30265586.html


-- The Nation 2015-07-31

[Jingthing]

Where did she get the idea that her egg was used?

[noitom]

Sounds like a Thai hustle. She signed a contract which included relinquishing her rights and claims to the child in return for financial consideration. The article above says that she will "determine" if the gay couple is qualified/ Preposterous. She doesn't even know if it was an embryo implant or sperm insemination. It sounds like Oil is not qualified.

[Bluespunk]

"However, Krit revealed that Oil still does not know if she carried an embryo or if she had been impregnated with Lake's sperm, so she doesn't know if she is genetically related to Carmen."

How can she not know this? Nothing reported in this story so far has made any mention at all about this.

My understanding was she was implanted with an embryo that was not hers and that's it.

She carried the child but genetically she is not her mother, harsh as that may sound.

[Bluespunk]

"Oil works for a company selling fire-extinguishing equipment, and she and her partner already have a 15-year-old daughter. The family earns well and would have no difficulty raising another child," he said."

Irrelevant. It's not her child and she has no claim or right to raise her.

"All I want is to see her and ensure that she lives happily. I have tried so hard and contacted many agencies to help reunite me with my baby again," she said."

The child is not your baby.

Edited July 31, 2015 by Bluespunk

[DirtyDan]

Part of me says it's a contract that should be honoured, another part feels for the woman that essentially grew the baby, and yet the cynical side wants to pick details out of the story "proving" it's all about the money.... like has to be able to visit the child. Hmm.

I believe under Thai law (as was published by the Japanese papers a while back after billionaire boy spawned a rugby team's worth of little people) that the baby belongs to the "mother" until she signs the papers. I guess the question here is what defines "mother" - is it a genetic relation or is the act of turning food into a human for 9 months adequate support for the term "mother"? Maybe take this to "ask a lawyer"?

This is such an emotionally charged situation that's it would be hard for anyone involved to make an objective decision... better leave to the internet forums.

Edited July 31, 2015 by DirtyDan

[Bluespunk]

"she had tried to contact the gay couple several times but in vain."

Wonder why they don't want to talk to you?

"Previously, the surrogate mother had voiced concerns that the gay couple might be human traffickers after learning that the couple had tried to go into a surrogacy deal with another woman."

Oh yes, now I remember.

Edited July 31, 2015 by Bluespunk

[thesetat2013]

"However, Krit revealed that Oil still does not know if she carried an embryo or if she had been impregnated with Lake's sperm, so she doesn't know if she is genetically related to Carmen."

How can she not know this? Nothing reported in this story so far has made any mention at all about this.

My understanding was she was implanted with an embryo that was not hers and that's it.

She carried the child but genetically she is not her mother, harsh as that may sound.

None of what you say though has any importance. She relinquished her rights by contract to be caretaker for this kid. Although I don't agree about the father's raising the child this still does not give her any rights as a parent. Also, given most Thais don't even raise their own kids and smack them onto their parents until they are older it seems feasible that this would be done again as both the woman and her man are employed. Whether Thais believe this is a good way to raise kids or not it really isn't so this also would make her a bad choice to raise this child.

[Bluespunk]

"However, Krit revealed that Oil still does not know if she carried an embryo or if she had been impregnated with Lake's sperm, so she doesn't know if she is genetically related to Carmen."

How can she not know this? Nothing reported in this story so far has made any mention at all about this.

My understanding was she was implanted with an embryo that was not hers and that's it.

She carried the child but genetically she is not her mother, harsh as that may sound.

None of what you say though has any importance. She relinquished her rights by contract to be caretaker for this kid. Although I don't agree about the father's raising the child this still does not give her any rights as a parent. Also, given most Thais don't even raise their own kids and smack them onto their parents until they are older it seems feasible that this would be done again as both the woman and her man are employed. Whether Thais believe this is a good way to raise kids or not it really isn't so this also would make her a bad choice to raise this child.

My point was that she has no rights to claim to be the child's parent.

Genetically she isn't.

[Ulic]

Money, money, money, money. Who is going to pay for these regular ongoing trips to the USA.

Who is going to arrange for the visa. She entered into a contract to be a surrogate and now

she has a gun to the parents heads. She should be ashamed. In her next life she will come

back as a ....................

[greenchair]

I get sick of the way thai women are belittled on this site.

She upheld her end of the bargain. Right up until she found out she was lied to. She only changed her mind after she found out they were gay and conveniently omitted to tell her. Some people believe in Buddha, some jesus. Some believe in same sex parents, some mother, father parenting. She had a right to know this crucial information before she signed a contract. They deceived her and they knew they were deceiving her. The contract should be void and anybody that asked her to sign it hiding knowledge of the truth, should be sued.

I don't know why her lawyer is not Hawling their rses down to the court for fraud.

She is quite worried about the child. Those men should collect pictures of their family and of the boy they have. Allow her to visit the child occasionly and do everything they can to allay her fears. Shame on them , for cheating this girl.

The two men lied.

[Bob12345]

I get sick of the way thai women are belittled on this site.

She upheld her end of the bargain. Right up until she found out she was lied to. She only changed her mind after she found out they were gay and conveniently omitted to tell her. Some people believe in Buddha, some jesus. Some believe in same sex parents, some mother, father parenting. She had a right to know this crucial information before she signed a contract. They deceived her and they knew they were deceiving her. The contract should be void and anybody that asked her to sign it hiding knowledge of the truth, should be sued.

I don't know why her lawyer is not Hawling their rses down to the court for fraud.

She is quite worried about the child. Those men should collect pictures of their family and of the boy they have. Allow her to visit the child occasionly and do everything they can to allay her fears. Shame on them , for cheating this girl.

The two men lied.

If you had followed this story in the Thai media you would have come across people who had made screencaps on "the mother's" facebook timeline where she was overly joyful of having a kid again and how proud she was it would be "luuk-kreun".

Seemed to me she never intended to hand over the baby anyways and was lying herself all the time.

[Bluespunk]

I get sick of the way thai women are belittled on this site.

She upheld her end of the bargain. Right up until she found out she was lied to. She only changed her mind after she found out they were gay and conveniently omitted to tell her. Some people believe in Buddha, some jesus. Some believe in same sex parents, some mother, father parenting. She had a right to know this crucial information before she signed a contract. They deceived her and they knew they were deceiving her. The contract should be void and anybody that asked her to sign it hiding knowledge of the truth, should be sued.

I don't know why her lawyer is not Hawling their rses down to the court for fraud.

She is quite worried about the child. Those men should collect pictures of their family and of the boy they have. Allow her to visit the child occasionly and do everything they can to allay her fears. Shame on them , for cheating this girl.

The two men lied.

It's not her child.

She was hired in carry it.

Now whether that is morally acceptable or wrong in itself is another issue. I have doubts myself.

However as it stands she has no say in who raises the child.

It's not hers.

[otherstuff1957]

My wife has been following this story in the Thai news and she (and many other people) have no sympathy for the surrogate mother. They think that she is just after money and is shedding crocodile tears over the baby.

[SOTIRIOS]

....can we have some statistics on what percentage of Thai children are raised in a 'happy family'......

...while the dumpsters are full of discarded __________ on a daily basis.......

...never enough for these 'champions of justice'.....

[Jimlove]

Oil hit the jackpot carrying this child - Wonder how fat the brown envelope has to be besides what they have already paid her ...

[richard_smith237]

I get sick of the way thai women are belittled on this site.

She upheld her end of the bargain. Right up until she found out she was lied to. She only changed her mind after she found out they were gay and conveniently omitted to tell her. Some people believe in Buddha, some jesus. Some believe in same sex parents, some mother, father parenting. She had a right to know this crucial information before she signed a contract. They deceived her and they knew they were deceiving her. The contract should be void and anybody that asked her to sign it hiding knowledge of the truth, should be sued.

I don't know why her lawyer is not Hawling their rses down to the court for fraud.

She is quite worried about the child. Those men should collect pictures of their family and of the boy they have. Allow her to visit the child occasionly and do everything they can to allay her fears. Shame on them , for cheating this girl.

The two men lied.

If you had followed this story in the Thai media you would have come across people who had made screencaps on "the mother's" facebook timeline where she was overly joyful of having a kid again and how proud she was it would be "luuk-kreun".

Seemed to me she never intended to hand over the baby anyways and was lying herself all the time.

This is exactly what my Wife has read in the Thai forums (panthip)... Where the Surrogate was posting her desires to have a luk-kreung child...

It appears that this may have been planned out from the start.

[cookee68]

She is trying it, next she will be asking for donations, like that last scumbag did, and she wants to visit the child if it lives abroad, well good luck with getting a visa, and if she really wanted a luk-kreung child ( half and half) then there are plenty of Farang out there who are willing to please

[greenchair]

I get sick of the way thai women are belittled on this site.

She upheld her end of the bargain. Right up until she found out she was lied to. She only changed her mind after she found out they were gay and conveniently omitted to tell her. Some people believe in Buddha, some jesus. Some believe in same sex parents, some mother, father parenting. She had a right to know this crucial information before she signed a contract. They deceived her and they knew they were deceiving her. The contract should be void and anybody that asked her to sign it hiding knowledge of the truth, should be sued.

I don't know why her lawyer is not Hawling their rses down to the court for fraud.

She is quite worried about the child. Those men should collect pictures of their family and of the boy they have. Allow her to visit the child occasionly and do everything they can to allay her fears. Shame on them , for cheating this girl.

The two men lied.

It's not her child.

She was hired in carry it.

Now whether that is morally acceptable or wrong in itself is another issue. I have doubts myself.

However as it stands she has no say in who raises the child.

It's not hers.

Where did I say the child was hers hmmmm?

I said, she was lied to.

She signed the paper for the baby to leave the hospital.

Then she found out she was deceived.

The contract is void, since they obtained her signature fraudulently. And if they already lied once, maybe they lied again about whose egg was used. Why don't they want the dna test.

Edited August 1, 2015 by greenchair

[Bluespunk]

I get sick of the way thai women are belittled on this site.

She upheld her end of the bargain. Right up until she found out she was lied to. She only changed her mind after she found out they were gay and conveniently omitted to tell her. Some people believe in Buddha, some jesus. Some believe in same sex parents, some mother, father parenting. She had a right to know this crucial information before she signed a contract. They deceived her and they knew they were deceiving her. The contract should be void and anybody that asked her to sign it hiding knowledge of the truth, should be sued.

I don't know why her lawyer is not Hawling their rses down to the court for fraud.

She is quite worried about the child. Those men should collect pictures of their family and of the boy they have. Allow her to visit the child occasionly and do everything they can to allay her fears. Shame on them , for cheating this girl.

The two men lied.

It's not her child.

She was hired in carry it.

Now whether that is morally acceptable or wrong in itself is another issue. I have doubts myself.

However as it stands she has no say in who raises the child.

It's not hers.

Where did I say the child was hers hmmmm?

I said, she was lied to.

She signed the paper for the baby to leave the hospital.

Then she found out she was deceived.

The contract is void, since they obtained her signature fraudulently. And if they already lied once, maybe they lied again about whose egg was used. Why don't they want the dna test.

I never said you said it was hers.

I stated this to support the fact that she has no right to object to the gender of the child's parents. It is none of her concern whether the child's parents are gay or not.

She was paid to be a surrogate.

No one lied to her because she had no right to know anything beyond the requirements of this role.

She was not deceived as she was paid for fulfilling this role.

It is not her child and therefore she has no say in how the child is raised, who raises it or the life choices of its father.

[greenchair]

I get sick of the way thai women are belittled on this site.

She upheld her end of the bargain. Right up until she found out she was lied to. She only changed her mind after she found out they were gay and conveniently omitted to tell her. Some people believe in Buddha, some jesus. Some believe in same sex parents, some mother, father parenting. She had a right to know this crucial information before she signed a contract. They deceived her and they knew they were deceiving her. The contract should be void and anybody that asked her to sign it hiding knowledge of the truth, should be sued.

I don't know why her lawyer is not Hawling their rses down to the court for fraud.

She is quite worried about the child. Those men should collect pictures of their family and of the boy they have. Allow her to visit the child occasionly and do everything they can to allay her fears. Shame on them , for cheating this girl.

The two men lied.

If you had followed this story in the Thai media you would have come across people who had made screencaps on "the mother's" facebook timeline where she was overly joyful of having a kid again and how proud she was it would be "luuk-kreun".

Seemed to me she never intended to hand over the baby anyways and was lying herself all the time.

She may well have wanted a lukkrung.

But in this case, she signed the paper to allow them to take the baby from the hospital, proving that she at that time had no intention to keep the baby.

After taking the baby, those 2 men dropped the bombshell on her, that the little girl would go to live in Spain with a gay couple. At that time, she changed her mind.she says she would never have signed the contract if she knew the truth.

The 2 men and the agent knew she would not sign up if all the cards were on the table.

They deliberately deceived her. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant. She wanted to have a lukkrung is irrelevant.

They lied .

[Bob12345]

I get sick of the way thai women are belittled on this site.

She upheld her end of the bargain. Right up until she found out she was lied to. She only changed her mind after she found out they were gay and conveniently omitted to tell her. Some people believe in Buddha, some jesus. Some believe in same sex parents, some mother, father parenting. She had a right to know this crucial information before she signed a contract. They deceived her and they knew they were deceiving her. The contract should be void and anybody that asked her to sign it hiding knowledge of the truth, should be sued.

I don't know why her lawyer is not Hawling their rses down to the court for fraud.

She is quite worried about the child. Those men should collect pictures of their family and of the boy they have. Allow her to visit the child occasionly and do everything they can to allay her fears. Shame on them , for cheating this girl.

The two men lied.

If you had followed this story in the Thai media you would have come across people who had made screencaps on "the mother's" facebook timeline where she was overly joyful of having a kid again and how proud she was it would be "luuk-kreun".

Seemed to me she never intended to hand over the baby anyways and was lying herself all the time.

She may well have wanted a lukkrung.

But in this case, she signed the paper to allow them to take the baby from the hospital, proving that she at that time had no intention to keep the baby.

After taking the baby, those 2 men dropped the bombshell on her, that the little girl would go to live in Spain with a gay couple. At that time, she changed her mind.she says she would never have signed the contract if she knew the truth.

The 2 men and the agent knew she would not sign up if all the cards were on the table.

They deliberately deceived her. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant. She wanted to have a lukkrung is irrelevant.

They lied .

I assume you know her personally or you are just making up what happened and how that made everybody feel?