Girlfriend put me in a tough spot, how to handle it....

[swampdonkey]

Show up at the party naked.

Might as well have fun. Then tap her on the shoulder and yell..."surprise".

Yeah, If you can't beat them join them

[giddyup]

Is it a 'given' thrse turn into sex romps?

rijit

No, they have a bible reading class after.

[Asiantravel]

You know what must thai girls says about farang, that they are sooooo stupid and easy to play/manipulate

no different or no worse than any other females and it's not unique to Thai girls.

but you can't hold it against them because it's part of their genetic make up. They only have a relatively brief window of opportunity to fulfil their biological needs and they have to do whatever they need to achieve their goals.

It's up to guys to give back as good as they get

[ttthailand]

Once the trust is gone it is over.

Unless she is a real dog there is no way that a bunch of young guys are going to just let her sit and watch without getting involved. And.... Unless she is gay how could she just sit around time after time and just watch without getting involved.

I know it hurts but it is time to move on. You can't go through life worrying if your gf is cheating on you. The stress and worry will affect your entire life.

[swampdonkey]

Little background.... I am a normal guy, I dont like girly bars, Ive never had a dirty massage, I dont visit the Nana plazas and its likes. All of the girls Ive dated have been normal girls (ex. university students, office employees)....

Why do think that makes you normal ?

Some people [ not me] may think your anything but normal

Edited August 11, 2015 by swampdonkey

[NickJ]

Really gotta wonder where ALL Her money is coming from......Been going for years?

You could just have a nice girl who likes to get wild opposed to a wild girl who gets nice.........

[Iwantto]

Yea, I never asked her to go to any of the future parties with her, and that isnt really something I would want to do with a girlfriend.... Thats more of a single thing haha (or on my nights out without her)... My problem isnt that she is not taking me.... Its that shes partying with naked dudes since she was 18 and I was believing she was a pretty good Thai girl who liked to party, which Im ok with.

To the guy who brought up the trust thing, That is my main thought here too, you hit it on the head man. How do I trust anything now? If she says she wants to go party with her friends on a Friday night.... Ive always been "ok".... now its like.... "wait a minute" which she can easily make up any lie.

I mean, the relationship is done now right? What she has done is completely unacceptable.... Shes been partying with naked dudes the whole year we have been together and lying about it. These guys are all her friends, no way shes going to cut off contact with all of them (even though she says she will) and I dont want to get into spy games with her, secretly following her around and stuff just to eventually find out what I already know. The trust here is completely gone.

I really really dont want to break up with her.... Outside of finding this out the other day, our relationship has been fantastic, shes super fun, cute, funny.... We have traveled together and met each others families.... Right now I just cant see how I can handle know she has done this to me, and knowing she has been doing it for years and years, and all of the obvious inappropriate things she has obviously done with these guys (or they have done to her) which she denies but has had to of happened.... I dont think im capable of getting over it.

[lovelomsak]

4 years? They keep inviting her back for a reason...and it's not to sit idly by the pool drinking lemonade while everyone is butt nekid.

I think you know what the truth is...

It's just how you deal with it, that counts.

Let us know.

I see it the same way. Why would the guy keep inviting a prude to a nude sax party. Especially one who just sits and drinks. I have been to a few and everyone was naked at them , more like an orgy.

[Jai Dee]

Topic belongs in the Expat Life forum.

/Moved

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Yea, I never asked her to go to any of the future parties with her, and that isnt really something I would want to do with a girlfriend.... Thats more of a single thing haha (or on my nights out without her)... My problem isnt that she is not taking me.... Its that shes partying with naked dudes since she was 18 and I was believing she was a pretty good Thai girl who liked to party, which Im ok with.

To the guy who brought up the trust thing, That is my main thought here too, you hit it on the head man. How do I trust anything now? If she says she wants to go party with her friends on a Friday night.... Ive always been "ok".... now its like.... "wait a minute" which she can easily make up any lie.

I mean, the relationship is done now right? What she has done is completely unacceptable.... Shes been partying with naked dudes the whole year we have been together and lying about it. These guys are all her friends, no way shes going to cut off contact with all of them (even though she says she will) and I dont want to get into spy games with her, secretly following her around and stuff just to eventually find out what I already know. The trust here is completely gone.

I really really dont want to break up with her.... Outside of finding this out the other day, our relationship has been fantastic, shes super fun, cute, funny.... We have traveled together and met each others families.... Right now I just cant see how I can handle know she has done this to me, and knowing she has been doing it for years and years, and all of the obvious inappropriate things she has obviously done with these guys (or they have done to her) which she denies but has had to of happened.... I dont think im capable of getting over it.

You introduced yourself as normal, but you are anything but. You are lonely and needy otherwise you wouldn't be posting here but dump her behind. You need a psychiatrist.

[rwdrwdrwd]

Yea, I never asked her to go to any of the future parties with her, and that isnt really something I would want to do with a girlfriend.... Thats more of a single thing haha (or on my nights out without her)... My problem isnt that she is not taking me.... Its that shes partying with naked dudes since she was 18 and I was believing she was a pretty good Thai girl who liked to party, which Im ok with.

To the guy who brought up the trust thing, That is my main thought here too, you hit it on the head man. How do I trust anything now? If she says she wants to go party with her friends on a Friday night.... Ive always been "ok".... now its like.... "wait a minute" which she can easily make up any lie.

I mean, the relationship is done now right? What she has done is completely unacceptable.... Shes been partying with naked dudes the whole year we have been together and lying about it. These guys are all her friends, no way shes going to cut off contact with all of them (even though she says she will) and I dont want to get into spy games with her, secretly following her around and stuff just to eventually find out what I already know. The trust here is completely gone.

I really really dont want to break up with her.... Outside of finding this out the other day, our relationship has been fantastic, shes super fun, cute, funny.... We have traveled together and met each others families.... Right now I just cant see how I can handle know she has done this to me, and knowing she has been doing it for years and years, and all of the obvious inappropriate things she has obviously done with these guys (or they have done to her) which she denies but has had to of happened.... I dont think im capable of getting over it.

All I can say, is that relationships are based upon trust. If you do not have it, it is not one (certainly not a fun one).

The time I tried to maintain a relationship without trust is the darkest couple of years of my life, in my experience it is a recipe for unhappiness on both sides and can cause long term mental issues.

Without meaning to be rude, it sounds like you already had some trust / control issues, from the way you mentioned that 'I am really fair with her, I let her go out with her friends and have fun anytime she asks' - this trait is only going to get worse with less trust than before, and it is honestly not a good one.

Edited August 11, 2015 by rwdrwdrwd

[Morakot]

I really really dont want to break up with her....

How come you found out now, all about this?

Edited August 11, 2015 by Morakot

[fletchsmile]

When I found out I kind of half-assed broke up with her.... which led to her crying uncontrollably and hugging me and begging me to stay with her.... telling me shes sorry and she will never do it again... Classic Thai style. But I just cant get it off my mind.... I am just not cool with the fact that she has seen tons of dudes naked.... I know lots of guys dont care about this at all.

That was the point to push for an invite to the next one. You missed your chance. Still there'll be another one along soon next time.

[Thai at Heart]

Yeah. Organised naked pool parties in the world's most Victoria society.

Lies at this early stage are a death knell for me. If the shoe was on the other foot she would drop u in a second.

[Iwantto]

I really really dont want to break up with her....

How come you found out now, all about this?

We were talking about having a pool party, then she said she went to a pool party last weekend with her high school friends.... then I just kept asking more and more questions.....

[pgrahmm]

Yea, I never asked her to go to any of the future parties with her, and that isnt really something I would want to do with a girlfriend.... Thats more of a single thing haha (or on my nights out without her)... My problem isnt that she is not taking me.... Its that shes partying with naked dudes since she was 18 and I was believing she was a pretty good Thai girl who liked to party, which Im ok with.

To the guy who brought up the trust thing, That is my main thought here too, you hit it on the head man. How do I trust anything now? If she says she wants to go party with her friends on a Friday night.... Ive always been "ok".... now its like.... "wait a minute" which she can easily make up any lie.

I mean, the relationship is done now right? What she has done is completely unacceptable.... Shes been partying with naked dudes the whole year we have been together and lying about it. These guys are all her friends, no way shes going to cut off contact with all of them (even though she says she will) and I dont want to get into spy games with her, secretly following her around and stuff just to eventually find out what I already know. The trust here is completely gone.

I really really dont want to break up with her.... Outside of finding this out the other day, our relationship has been fantastic, shes super fun, cute, funny.... We have traveled together and met each others families.... Right now I just cant see how I can handle know she has done this to me, and knowing she has been doing it for years and years, and all of the obvious inappropriate things she has obviously done with these guys (or they have done to her) which she denies but has had to of happened.... I dont think im capable of getting over it.

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You've just asked - and answered your own concerns with the best advice on this thread....

There's no place for the rest of us to go from here.....

[smokie36]

I'm a normal guy....I visit girly bars and pole dancing clubs whenever the opportunity arises.

Lol.

[faraday]

She's getting banged by the other guys.

Wise up & bin her.

[pigeonjake]

Little background.... I am a normal guy, I dont like girly bars, Ive never had a dirty massage, I dont visit the Nana plazas and its likes. All of the girls Ive dated have been normal girls (ex. university students, office employees)....

from the OP,

this is the bit that makes me laugh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,( ex university srudents, office employees,),,,as if butter wouldnt melt in there mouths

makes me laugh, some on here brag about these girls saying how good they are, never do anything wrong,

welcome to REALITY, a bad un will always be a bad un, if she comes from a bar or a uni,

but im still saying troll,

[Morakot]

I really really dont want to break up with her....

How come you found out now, all about this?

We were talking about having a pool party, then she said she went to a pool party last weekend with her high school friends.... then I just kept asking more and more questions.....

What kind of own "pool party" did you have in mind ? What kind of guests --who would be in the pool together with your Thai girlfriend-- were you hoping for?

She grew up in the West and doesn't mind wearing a bikini on the beach or at semi-public pools, does she?

Edited August 11, 2015 by Morakot

[h90]

When I found out I kind of half-assed broke up with her.... which led to her crying uncontrollably and hugging me and begging me to stay with her.... telling me shes sorry and she will never do it again... Classic Thai style. But I just cant get it off my mind.... I am just not cool with the fact that she has seen tons of dudes naked.... I know lots of guys dont care about this at all.

"I am just not cool with the fact that she has seen tons of dudes naked"

You are rather naive.....if you believe she has only seen them......

[oxo1947]

Thai girls-----3 ways to spot a millionaire---

1/

[ttthailand]

Yea, I never asked her to go to any of the future parties with her, and that isnt really something I would want to do with a girlfriend.... Thats more of a single thing haha (or on my nights out without her)... My problem isnt that she is not taking me.... Its that shes partying with naked dudes since she was 18 and I was believing she was a pretty good Thai girl who liked to party, which Im ok with.

To the guy who brought up the trust thing, That is my main thought here too, you hit it on the head man. How do I trust anything now? If she says she wants to go party with her friends on a Friday night.... Ive always been "ok".... now its like.... "wait a minute" which she can easily make up any lie.

I mean, the relationship is done now right? What she has done is completely unacceptable.... Shes been partying with naked dudes the whole year we have been together and lying about it. These guys are all her friends, no way shes going to cut off contact with all of them (even though she says she will) and I dont want to get into spy games with her, secretly following her around and stuff just to eventually find out what I already know. The trust here is completely gone.

I really really dont want to break up with her.... Outside of finding this out the other day, our relationship has been fantastic, shes super fun, cute, funny.... We have traveled together and met each others families.... Right now I just cant see how I can handle know she has done this to me, and knowing she has been doing it for years and years, and all of the obvious inappropriate things she has obviously done with these guys (or they have done to her) which she denies but has had to of happened.... I dont think im capable of getting over it.

I went through something similar regarding the lies and cheating. Broke my heart but I had to move on as it was driving me crazy. I could not forgive or trust again.

One thing I can tell you for sure is that in Thailand there are enough lovely girls to fill the void. Break off all contact and move on. The sooner you do the sooner you will forget. Depending on the level of affection you two had going it could take awhile but the pain and the thinking about her does go away in time.

After my break I played the field for awhile and had a great time then met a lovely girl who never had any type of relationship with a farang and only one Thai boyfriend... So she says. I am much happier now than when I was with the cheating little tramp .... Hahaha....

Do it quick ..... End the pain.... Good luck !

[Iwantto]

I really really dont want to break up with her....

How come you found out now, all about this?

We were talking about having a pool party, then she said she went to a pool party last weekend with her high school friends.... then I just kept asking more and more questions.....

What kind of own "pool party" did you have in mind ? What kind of guests --who would be in the pool together with your Thai girlfriend-- were you hoping for?

She grew up in the West and doesn't mind wearing a bikini on the beach or at semi-public pools, does she?

Well the pool party we were planning was just at my moban pool, just daytime, food drinks, whatever. She didnt grow up in the west... Shes a Bangkok girl. And no, she doesnt wear a bikini, she is all thai style at the beach.

[Loptr]

When I found out I kind of half-assed broke up with her.... which led to her crying uncontrollably and hugging me and begging me to stay with her.... telling me shes sorry and she will never do it again... Classic Thai style. But I just cant get it off my mind.... I am just not cool with the fact that she has seen tons of dudes naked.... I know lots of guys dont care about this at all.

Have you thought to ask your GF why she hasn't invited you along to these parties?

[Loptr]

You know what must thai girls says about farang, that they are sooooo stupid and easy to play/manipulate

no different or no worse than any other females and it's not unique to Thai girls.

but you can't hold it against them because it's part of their genetic make up. They only have a relatively brief window of opportunity to fulfil their biological needs and they have to do whatever they need to achieve their goals.

It's up to guys to give back as good as they get

Thailand has the highest rate of infidelity of any country on the planet, so no, all women from all places are not alike...

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/thailand-named-most-adulterous-country-world-1488513

[oxo1947]

Its OK iwantto...... I think I have spotted your problem in the first 2 lines........

I am a normal guy, I dont like girly bars, Ive never had a dirty massage, I dont visit the Nana plazas and its likes. All of the girls Ive dated have been normal girls (ex. university students, office employees)....

Have you ever thought of a transfer to ......say Saudi Arabia.....................

[Iwantto]

Yea, breaking up I think is the only way out. Such a shame. We have a week long Laos trip planned (and paid for) next week too. Maybe we do that then I end it right after.

I know for a fact she really loves me.... And I am 99% she shes not cheating on me. Shes basically living with me 5-6 days a week. I really dont think shes banging any of the dudes here.... I think the girls who are going are her friends, (and dating some of the dudes) and she has gotten to know all of the guys over the years.... And I can totally picture her sitting on the sidelines just drinking and watching.... But surely the guys are coming to her, playing with her, whatever... naked.... I just cant deal with that, and the stupid excuse of "they are just my friends"....

Anyways, I'm pretty convinced its over. The hard part now is just breaking up and actually going through with it.

[TommyUK1960]

I am a normal guy who came to Thailand for bar girls, Agogo girls, massage with happy ending. Accidentally did the odd ladyboy when out of my head. Then I found a crazy bar girl and married her. My problem is she wants to invite her best mate around for a threesome. Do you think I should trust her??

[faraday]

I am a normal guy who came to Thailand for bar girls, Agogo girls, massage with happy ending. Accidentally did the odd ladyboy when out of my head. Then I found a crazy bar girl and married her. My problem is she wants to invite her best mate around for a threesome. Do you think I should trust her??

Yes Thomas, I think you should.