do not bring your Thai mate to farangland.

[Thai at Heart]

Maybe I am not finding the stereotypes to be quite as true as I believed. Or maybe I just hang out with better people than you.....

I'm sure yours is different.

I'm sure you're different too.

That guy in Phuket thought his was different.

Gotta laugh at all the boasters, "mine is educated, mine didn't come from a bar, I chose more carefully, I dated her for 3 years, I have a lease, I'm better than you", etc.

........... at least 50% of them will get theirs!

You can't argue with statistics.

Where does the 50% come from? 30% of all marriages in the West divorce in 7 years. I have mates in Thailand who divorced 3 times back home and have done it again in Thailand. Maybe the issue isn't always Thai women........

Of course no one knows they will end up divorced, just saying for me, 14 years and going strong today. Take your time and be careful. Choose as carefully as u can. That's all anyone can do.

Or rent, it's always safer.....

[fang37]

Some old sayings -

"If nothing changes, nothing changes".

Doing the same thing again & again & expecting a different outcome=insanity.

[MaeJoMTB]

Where does the 50% come from? 30% of all marriages in the West divorce in 7 years. I have mates in Thailand who divorced 3 times back home and have done it again in Thailand. Maybe the issue isn't always Thai women........

Of course no one knows they will end up divorced, just saying for me, 14 years and going strong today. Take your time and be careful. Choose as carefully as u can. That's all anyone can do.

Or rent, it's always safer.....

UK has highest divorce rate in Europe.

Within 30 years of marriage 40% will end in divorce, 10% will end in death of one spouse.

(40% isn't good odds either, when you're betting a house)

My UK marriage lasted 30 years before divorce, for 29 of those years there was NO SIGNS of any problems, I ain't gonna risk another house.

Choosing as carefully as you can is just another boast ........ in effect the boast being "I chose carefully and you didn't"

Divorce is entirely random, people change over time, nobody can predict the change.

Most marriages I see fail, one of them just woke up one day and realized they didn't like the other any more.

It's your fault, you didn't try hard enough, she wasn't good enough ...... all rationalizations to make the boaster feel better about himself and his future.

You can't predict the future, but you can avoid betting your home on random chance in a game the man usually loses.

Edited September 30, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[Thai at Heart]

Where does the 50% come from? 30% of all marriages in the West divorce in 7 years. I have mates in Thailand who divorced 3 times back home and have done it again in Thailand. Maybe the issue isn't always Thai women........

Of course no one knows they will end up divorced, just saying for me, 14 years and going strong today. Take your time and be careful. Choose as carefully as u can. That's all anyone can do.

Or rent, it's always safer.....

UK has highest divorce rate in Europe.

Within 30 years of marriage 40% will end in divorce, 10% will end in death of one spouse.

(40% isn't good odds either, when you're betting a house)

My UK marriage lasted 30 years before divorce, I ain't gonna risk another house.

Choosing as carefully as you can is just another boast ........ in effect the boast being "I chose carefully and you didn't"

Divorce is entirely random, people change over time, nobody can predict the change.

Most marriages I see fail, one of them just woke up one day and realized they didn't like the other any more.

It's your fault, you didn't try hard enough, she wasn't good enough ...... all rationalizations to make the boaster feel better about himself and his future.

You can't predict the future, but you can avoid betting your home on random chance in a game the man usually loses.

Not a boast. It's just worked out so far ok for me. We all know someone in Thailand who has chosen badly. If divorce happens after a year or two, one can consider it a bad choice I would think.

It's hard mixing cultures and language. It would appear your issues are marriage in general, which is fair enough and Thailand isn't a place for the naive when it comes to marriage.

Edited September 30, 2015 by Thai at Heart

[JAFO]

All in all I say its a great experience and what you make of it. It goes both ways, us men got to see their world and now they get to see yours. Not sure why men fear they will turn into these demon women and gain 100 lbs and go find a new man. I find it kind of odd. All I can figure is that it has to be the gal they are with. I do know there are the gals playing the men for a ticket out. Choose your women wisely is all I can say.

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that many men that come to Thailand to find a woman are upgrading significantly. When they go back to their home country with their new upgrade they will feel very insecure. They also may fear how the new upgrade will be viewed or accepted. The excuse that they will gain weight of become westernized is just that, an excuse. They more likely reason they don't want to bring them back is that they are worried they will lose them to a man that is upgrading less.

Complete <deleted>,

I never worry about losing my wife, plenty more where she came from.

It's the thought of losing another house that stops me taking her to my home country.

UK houses are a lot harder to get than a Thai wife.

So I have to ask, is your wife aware that's exactly how you feel about her? I get if she was a GF and so on but when you marry? Why marry at all?

While I do not know you personally your posts in this and other threads projects you as very bitter. I suspect you got torched by a gal in the UK so you will carry that chip on your shoulder with every gal you are with and deny that any other man will meet a woman they are happy with. I have met quite a few divorced guys like you in the last 10 years. They always blame the ex, feel slighted because they lost the house and half of everything they had amassed. Sadly that internal anger spills over into everything.

[JAFO]

Maybe I am not finding the stereotypes to be quite as true as I believed. Or maybe I just hang out with better people than you.....

I'm sure yours is different.

I'm sure you're different too.

That guy in Phuket thought his was different.

Gotta laugh at all the boasters, "mine is educated, mine didn't come from a bar, I chose more carefully, I dated her for 3 years, I have a lease, I'm better than you", etc.

........... at least 50% of them will get theirs!

You can't argue with statistics.

And yet another post. This post shows that you are likely quite envious of the men that have a sound relationship. I know this a bit because I am a divorcee. I was angry for awhile and hated hearing how a buddy of mine had met the perfect gal, how happy they were, the things they did etc etc.. I was like 'Yeah right, she will take you to the cleaners etc etc". But I came to realize it takes 2 to ruin a relationship and if it fails, you BOTH failed. You can try and spin it anyway you want to make it look like her fault, but you know the truth. I also realized that to remain angry and bitter about it would spill into anything good I would want to develop with any gal I would meet going forward. I will say with a divorce you learn a lot(well lets say some do if they are paying attention) and while I wasn't looking I ended up meeting a cool gal and being older I also became wiser and I looked at things from a different perspective than I did when I was in my mid 20's when I first got married.

But in agreement with you, the divorce statistics are real and many will end in divorce. So all one can do is protect themselves if they feel every gal is a money grubbing gold digger ( say you need to change your criteria if they all viewed as that). Personally valuing a house more seems odd. But I guess that is a status symbol to say you own a place and no woman can ever take that away. Small victory I suppose. Or you could do like some and rent and travel and move anywhere you want with no constraints. I do not need a house to some how make myself feel accomplished or that I won the game. Been there, done that.

Good Luck!

[Cypress Hill]

Yeah, that's right. My missus is well settled, working and has met dozens of apparently happily married decent Thai women over here. For every moaner there are plenty of happy wives over here.

14 years married today, last 2 and a bit in the UK. I guess she's a keeper.

Post again after she gets citizenship.

[MaeJoMTB]

I suspect you got torched by a gal in the UK so you will carry that chip on your shoulder with every gal you are with and deny that any other man will meet a woman they are happy with.

I'm sure there are many foreign men who meet a Thai girl they can be happy with, me being one of them.

Unfortunately, none of the young Thai girls I see with the elderly foreigners appear to be happy with the men.

How many young Thai girls do you think grow up fantasizing of having sex with their granddad?

This post shows that you are likely quite envious of the men that have a sound relationship.

If I ever found a young girl/old guy with a sound female/male relationship, not only would I be envious, I would be bloody amazed!

Edited September 30, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[JAFO]

I suspect you got torched by a gal in the UK so you will carry that chip on your shoulder with every gal you are with and deny that any other man will meet a woman they are happy with.

I'm sure there are many foreign men who meet a Thai girl they can be happy with, me being one of them.

Unfortunately, none of the young Thai girls I see with the elderly foreigners appear to be happy with the men.

How many young Thai girls do you think grow up fantasizing of having sex with their granddad?

This post shows that you are likely quite envious of the men that have a sound relationship.

If I ever found a young girl/old guy with a sound female/male relationship, not only would I be envious, I would be bloody amazed!

Ohh OK. I see your POV much differently now and your comments are fair. As we all know a sucker lands in Thailand every few minutes and can't wait to get to Pattaya, Patong etc.. I also think we all have a personal age gap threshold(I know I do). Many argue its a western ideal and social acceptance thing but I am not sure I buy it. However the beauty is its not our life and with that we do not have to live with the outcome. Its painful when the rose colored glasses come off. I have seen many as you have noted with age gaps that are quite large and I always wondered what do they talk about? What do they have in common? How does it all work?

I guess in the end those relationships seem more an odd symbiotic relationship and nothing to do with what most would consider the normal type relationship where 2 adults with similar maturity levels, life experiences and worldly understanding do things. Its also probably why they stay in Thailand and never return with their wife or GF. The social pressure would be immense and neither of them give it much thought. That simply will never change and everyone will hold a strong opinion about it.

I know I could never feel comfortable around a couple that had a huge age gap and I know my wife feels the same.

[thehelmsman]

I suspect you got torched by a gal in the UK so you will carry that chip on your shoulder with every gal you are with and deny that any other man will meet a woman they are happy with.

I'm sure there are many foreign men who meet a Thai girl they can be happy with, me being one of them.

Unfortunately, none of the young Thai girls I see with the elderly foreigners appear to be happy with the men.

How many young Thai girls do you think grow up fantasizing of having sex with their granddad?

This post shows that you are likely quite envious of the men that have a sound relationship.

If I ever found a young girl/old guy with a sound female/male relationship, not only would I be envious, I would be bloody amazed!

Ohh OK. I see your POV much differently now and your comments are fair. As we all know a sucker lands in Thailand every few minutes and can't wait to get to Pattaya, Patong etc.. I also think we all have a personal age gap threshold(I know I do). Many argue its a western ideal and social acceptance thing but I am not sure I buy it. However the beauty is its not our life and with that we do not have to live with the outcome. Its painful when the rose colored glasses come off. I have seen many as you have noted with age gaps that are quite large and I always wondered what do they talk about? What do they have in common? How does it all work?

I guess in the end those relationships seem more an odd symbiotic relationship and nothing to do with what most would consider the normal type relationship where 2 adults with similar maturity levels, life experiences and worldly understanding do things. Its also probably why they stay in Thailand and never return with their wife or GF. The social pressure would be immense and neither of them give it much thought. That simply will never change and everyone will hold a strong opinion about it.

I know I could never feel comfortable around a couple that had a huge age gap and I know my wife feels the same.

Add to that, if the guy doesn't own a paid for home in his home country and he's living on a pension. Well, you get the idea......not much of a life. So, much better to stay in Thailand.

I've given alot of thought to that subject of moving to the USA. Better school for daughter? perhaps but would still send to private school probably, till high school anyway. Would probably buy a house in Florida near the ocean. Wife can't get together with her neighbors for daily afternoon som-tom. In the village in Thailand things are just easier. Need someone to watch kid for awhile....instantly done. A soi full of kids for ours to play with.

It's a tough one, will have to take wife and kid to USA for a visit first.

[JAFO]

I've given alot of thought to that subject of moving to the USA. Better school for daughter? perhaps but would still send to private school probably, till high school anyway. Would probably buy a house in Florida near the ocean. Wife can't get together with her neighbors for daily afternoon som-tom. In the village in Thailand things are just easier. Need someone to watch kid for awhile....instantly done. A soi full of kids for ours to play with.

It's a tough one, will have to take wife and kid to USA for a visit first.

I understand your POV. It was a very tough call for my GF(now wife) at the time to stay in the US. We had only planned on returning for 45 days or so to visit. We had stored our things away at her Sisters as we moved out of the condo we rented figuring we would return back and rent a new condo near her work. All went the opposite direction and we stayed due to very nice job offer i received while visiting. First 90 days were touch and go. She had homesick issues, everything was foreign to her, couldn't find the Thai spices and foods she liked. less than 30 days after being back here I was back at work and she was home alone all the time. Fortunately with services like Line, Whatsapp etc she was able to call her Sister, Dad and her friends. I will say it made me appreciate what she took on when I was living in Thailand and we went off and did stuff as she had to do the majority of the communication for us. Coming here to the US was a 180 reversal of roles. Fortunately my wife went to an International University so she took a lot of English and spoke it pretty well. She was able to understand most everything as long as people spoke somewhat slow. However slang was her undoing. I had to interpret a lot for her. I reached out and found a Thai Temple not to far from us so we went there and she met a bunch of folks and made a few friends who ended up directing her to places to find "close to home" food products. Going to a doctor was interesting as things are WAY different in the states compared to Thailand. Anyway I could go on. Its way bigger than worrying she will leave you for another man or become fat and like other western women. Going through the naturalization process has been interesting as well. It is a big step with lots of stress requiring a ton of patience.

[Walter Travolta]

You are in a word "wrong" about everything.

If you expect them to just sit at home and look at TV and the channels which portray life in America as living in a condo overlooking Central Park.. then yes their view will change to the one you describe.

The first thing you should do is introduce her to rural America and a lot of it.. like take her on a Greyhound bus tour from LA to New York and then let her see for herself. And don't give me any complaint of it's too long.. Thai's take buses from Bangkok to Nakhon wherever all the time.

As a result they will know that view is just reserved for the hi-so.

And I'm saying this because I've seen both versions of Thai's..

Great post Jake

If this forum was called USA Visa Forum

Im sure the OP said "farangland" ?

[Walter Travolta]

Surely Thais living in the west are better off then Farangs living in Thailand.

Once in and have obtained their visas, there are no restrictions on them. They get the same rights as citizens, no money required in the bank, no 90 day and yearly visa kiss A`s crap, can work, own anything and later on have the options of obtaining full citizenship, a system almost impossible for Farangs in Thailand, full access to EEC countries, including keeping their Thai citizenships, having the best of all worlds.

Advising Thais not to move to Farangland, do me a favour, who are you trying to kid? Most Thais would jump at the offer given half a chance.

Good point well made but irrelevant?

The OP is talking about the perception from the farang's point of view, not the farang's wife/gf. He does mention about the Thai wife/gf wanting to rush back home at the slightest small family emergency, but again, from HIS point of view, it is about how it affects him, in this instance . . . . financially

[MAJIC]

I know many Thais in the UK, and after 6 years only 5% of them has returned to Thailand. so it can't be so bad in the UK then!