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To farang men who married Thai women...


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On 6/8/2016 at 10:41 AM, koolkarl said:

Over the years, I have heard many real life cases of broken relationships; vast majority of relationships end up

on the rocks and financial ruin. These cases happened in 4 different countries I have lived in.

Common theme is that most women have the same brain.

Here in Thailand, a foreign man is at a significant disadvantage from day 1. He is the lonely, rich foreigner who

has more money than brains so he pays and pays and pays until he can pay no more and back to the bars.

Thai courts and her family will always support her.

Would you like to play a high stakes poker game with the odds vastly against you?

And I detest that word 'farang'.

Well forget about farang, the new word is "alien" officially used by even Thai government.

SO you are from out of space 

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On 6/8/2016 at 2:18 PM, bino said:

Last year a friend of mine upgraded ThaiThaiGirlfriend 6.0 to the Thai version of Thai Wife 1.0, and found that it’s a memory hog leaving very little system resources available for other applications. He is now noticing that Thai Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.

Not only that, Thai Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization, where it can monitor all other system activity. He’s finding that some applications such as Go Go 10.3, BeerBar 2.5, and Massage 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before).

During installation, Thai Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as Mother-in-law 55.8 and Brother-in-law Beta release. Also, system performance of these undesired elements seems to diminish with each passing day.

Some features he’d like to see in the upcoming Thai Wife 2.0:

A “Don’t remind me again” button.

A Minimize button.

An install shield feature that allows Thai Wife 2.0 be installed with the option to uninstall at any time without the loss of cache and other system resources.

An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the system’s hardware probe feature to be much more useful.

I myself decided to avoid the headaches associated with Thai Wife 1.0 by sticking with ThaiGirlfriend 7.0. Even here, however, I found many problems. Apparently you cannot install ThaiGirlfriend 7.0 on top of ThaiGirlfriend 6.0. You must uninstall ThaiGirlfriend 6.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug that I should have known about. Apparently the previous versions of ThaiGirlfriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now. To make matters worse, the uninstall program for ThaiGirlfriend 6.0 doesn’t work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another thing — all versions of ThaiGirlfriend continually popup little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Thai Wife 1.0.

Thai Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install MiaNoi 1.1 before uninstalling Thai Wife 1.0, Thai Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then MiaNoi 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

To avoid this bug, try installing MiaNoi 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Thai Wife 1.0. Another solution would be to run MiaNoi 1.1 via a UseNet provider. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidentally be downloaded from the UseNet.

Tech Support Suggestions

These are very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from ThaiGirlfriend 6.0 to Thai Wife 1.0 with the idea that Thai Wife 1.0 is merely a Utilities & Entertainment program. Thai Wife 1.0 is indeed an operating system and designed by its creator to run everything.

It is unlikely you would be able to purge Thai Wife 1.0 and still convert back to ThaiGirlfriend 6.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause ThaiGirlfriend 6.0 to emulate Thai Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to ThaiGirlfriend 6.0 because Thai Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.

Some have tried to install ThaiGirlfriend 7.0 or Thai Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under “Warnings - Alimony/Child support”. I recommend you keep Thai Wife 1.0 and deal with the situation. I suggest installing background application program C:\YESDEAR to alleviate software augmentation.

Having installed Thai Wife 1.0 myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of C:\YESDEAR because ultimately you may have to give the C:\APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

Thai Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Thai Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 3.1 and Diamonds 2K. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Thai Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of Luck,

Tech Support

 

Consider a format of the system and just put  "just me 1.0" as operating system

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On 6/8/2016 at 11:38 AM, sirineou said:

If I have any regret, it is that I did not meet her years ago.

I regret my wife being so much younger than me. Over the seven years of being married we have grown very close and we have developed a genuine love for each other, now I have to content with the fact that I will die before her ,leaving her along.

It is a thought that when it occurs gives me a fair amount of stress. I know it is an unhealthy, morbid thought, and that I need to put it in proper perspective, but as of yet I have not learn to deal with it.

Why regret? you found a jackpot ! So enjoy that jackpot to the fullest., life is short.

Normally you may die first of age, but life fact is she can die tomorrow leaving you alone.

SO as i said live life to the fullest with your wife and enjoy being together.

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38 minutes ago, xtrnuno41 said:

Why regret? you found a jackpot ! So enjoy that jackpot to the fullest., life is short.

Normally you may die first of age, but life fact is she can die tomorrow leaving you alone.

SO as i said live life to the fullest with your wife and enjoy being together.

Thank you for those kind words:smile:

 I do my friend , I try to enjoy every day I have, not only with My wife but with family and friends.

 facing one's mortality puts a new perspective on things and certainly increases the value one places on each sunrise.

 But that does not stop as from worrying  what would happen to the ones we love after we are gone.  

One of the things I try to do more is not to take control of everything and let her do things for herself, even though I can see her struggling with it, and her and my first inclination is to let me do it for her.

I remember when we were doing our fiance visa , many many years ago, she wanted to hire a lawyer, she said there was no way she could do it herself,  even though I could have easily paid for a lawyer, I told her that I had confidence in her and that we could do it together. 

And she did it!  same thing with getting the US citizen papers,. Now we are building a new house in KK, same thing, she wanted as to wait until I was able to be there full time and do it for her, 

House is almost done ( tread in the real estate subforum "New  Build in Khonn Kaen") and she is doing a great job with my guidance. 

I can see the confidence in herself growing exponentially. Her Nickname with in the family is "the big boss" now, that's from a girl who was afraid of her own shadow.

The point being, to those of as that have some of the same concerns I have, that instead of "giving them  a fish to eat, we should teach them how to fish"

 But I still wish we were closer in age and could grow old together.

,   

 

  

Edited by sirineou
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On 1.2.2018 at 5:37 AM, Thaimike370 said:

Lived here 10 years, been married nine years, this is the best time of my life, I like the people, the country, have a great Thai wife, great lifestyle, no regrets whatsoever. Live by the following, you won't go far wrong.

Rule 1: If you don't like it here, don't keep moaning about it, GO HOME.

Rule 2: Respect Thai culture, remember you are a visitor here.

Rule 3: Never invest more than you can afford to lose and walk away from.

Rule 4: Never be worth more dead than alive.

Rule 5: Don't try and make this country into the one you left to come here, that will never work.

Rule 6: Don't try and improve things, Thais like it just the way it is.  Remember it is their country.

I would modify this a little:

Rule 1: If you don't like it here, don't keep moaning about it, go elsewhere.

Rule 2: Respect Thai people and their culture, even if you don't like that culture. Remember you are a guest here.

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On 6/8/2016 at 3:41 PM, koolkarl said:

Here in Thailand, a foreign man is at a significant disadvantage from day 1. He is the lonely, rich foreigner who

has more money than brains so he pays and pays and pays until he can pay no more and back to the bars.

I pay and pay and pay until my pension runs out.

But next month they send me more money, life is good.

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In Thailand alot of women do not really know what love is. They confuse a slight degree of affection, and the thrill of the exchange of money, with love. It is a perversion of the term. What she means to say is, I liked most of these guys. And I loved their cash.

 

The biggest part of the problem here, is the extreme emasculation that is taking place in the West. Most men, in the US, Europe, and Oz, are no longer real men, when it comes to dealing with their women. Their women have made their lives so difficult, and alot of women have gotten so far away from their innate femininity, and have become dominant, and super controlling, and men just go along with it. Most men have become so hungry for love, or emotionally desperate for some kindness, and TLC. And most are so desirous of being around a real woman, who knows how to act like a woman, and manifest the dignity, within femininity. So, it is easy for the con artists, like this worm Jariyaporn, to take advantage of emotionally wounded men, who seem to be willing to do anything to regain a semblance of normality in their lives, with a decent woman. 

 

The bottom line is this. Take your time getting to know a woman here, or anywhere. Time is your ally. It is rarely their ally. They are usually trying to step up the timetable. We need to push back. We need to assert control. An environment like this allows us to do so. Take advantage of that. Be a man. Step up. Pay tribute to the gender. Refuse to lay down anymore. Refuse to be a doormat. Refuse to check your cajones at the door. Start making the decisions, and stop saying "honey what do you want?". "What will make you happy?" "Where do you want to eat?" I have so many friends, who come here, and from the very start, make the same mistakes they made back in the West. Except here, they do not need to make those mistakes. The environment does not dictate that they behave like lambs. Many do not know, or realize that, or they succumb to "force of habit". Every ship needs a captain. If the man is not willing to be the captain of the ship, the woman will take over, here in Thailand. Most women here seem to want a strong man. But, if they end up with a wimp, they will take charge. Someone has to.

 

Always remember, if it is good, it is only going to get better. If there are problems, or if she is a big baby, who only looks like a real woman, but in reality is a 13 year old, or if she is a con artist, if she is only in it for the money, those realizations will manifest themselves over time. Time allows clarity. Never, ever move too quickly. That is the undoing of most of these guys. Be like Bond. be a real man. Man up. Do yourself proud. 

 

If you really take your time getting to know her, you can reap the benefits of your patience, and your wisdom. This is such a common mistake. Most women want to step up the timetable, and if a man is not strong, and does not stick to his principals, or have a determined agenda, he is often overwhelmed by her lack of patience, and the fact that alot of women want it all, and they want it yesterday.

 

I took 9 years before marrying my Thai wife. And she has become a BETTER version of herself, since we got married! In a million years, that would not have happened in the US.

 

For the men out there who are trying to find their way, in this rather complicated arena, always remember one thing. Take your time. 2 years minimum, before you commit large sums of cash, or commit to marriage. And that is two years, full time! Man up. Now is the time to show who you are. 

 

And the one about getting along with the parents is a good one. Often, that is a sign of an emotionally healthy woman. When I used to date, the two questions I would ask were-

 

1. How is your relationship with your mom and dad? How about your siblings?

 

2. What is the most money you have ever spent on a handbag? Wow. Was that ever a revealing question. The answers were all over the map, but inevitably demonstrated alot about her character. 

 

 

Now alot of guys ask about getting involved with bar girls and massage girls. Here are some of my thoughts on that area of this topic.

 

I consider most sex workers in Thailand, to be far, far more honest than the average American woman. At least here, a man knows where he stands, if he wants sex with a woman. In a minute, you can determine exactly what it will require financially, and what you will get in return. In the US, it can take multiple dates, and countless dinners and gifts, to get to the precious zone. There is no set price. There is no knowing what it is going to take. Many of the women I have dated, have been with hundreds of men, in a similar way as many of the massage girls here. And those men have paid dearly. The only difference was that the price was not stated up front. 

 

I always advocate really taking your time here. Time is ALWAYS our ally, and never theirs. So take you time, get to know who they really are, and how they act under duress. The vast majority of Thai people are way immature for their age. And many women and men are emotionally undeveloped, and really just 13 year olds, who look like adults. There is something about this society that does not allow most people to grow up with an understanding of themselves. I think face has something to do with it. The utter refusal to take responsibility for one's actions and the unwillingness to "own" a situation, and man up when you screw up. That and the inability to question people, and situations. And the subsequent lack of curiosity. It is all a perfect storm, when it comes to preventing alot of people from becoming well developed human beings, with communication skills, and the tools needed to conduct meaningful relationships, beyond the surface. 

 

I personally know women who earn a million baht a year in the industry. I have known women who have had six boyfriends, who sent them a total of 100,000 baht per month. I also know a gal who worked in Singapore at a brothel. She was stunning. She earned 3 million baht cash, all clear, in 16 months. Took it all home. Build a gorgeous house, started a business, and is totally independent financially. To this day. That was several years ago. All good. Do not know how she relates to men at this point. And I doubt she will ever be capable of a healthy relationship, after 3,000 men or more, in my estimation. But, she did establish herself. I give her credit for that. It is my contention that the possibility of a relationship with a former "professional" depends on a few factors. The first and most important factor is how many? How many men has she been with? If she is relatively new, and has only gotten with between 20-200 men, more than likely she is still sane, and could possess a good heart. If she has gotten with over 200, the chances decrease. If over 500, harder for her to relate to men as decent human beings. Once you get to the "around the world level", where she has been with over 1,000 men, all bets are off. The heart hardens, and more than likely she is bitter for life. I am sure there are exceptions. But, the risk in getting involved with a highly experienced bar girl, or massage girl, is great. So buyer beware. They all have a story. And for the most part, many know exactly what you want to hear.

 

With the exception of the men who are clever enough to hire a private detective to look into her background, and pay some real money to do it right, there is no way to know. They all have stories. And most of the stories are ones that they know we want to hear. So many times I have heard friends say,  "Oh no, she is new. She has only been working at the bar two weeks. I was her first customer. She worked in a factory before that. I could tell how innocent she was'. Yeah right!

 

There is no doubt that the industry here is vast, and accounts for a significant amount of the GDP. I think that figure of 2% is pure nonsense. It is far higher. The authorities seem to be determined to slowly rid the country of the industry, to make way for the massive growth of Chinese tourism. If you have any doubts about that, just visit Samui or Phuket. They are pale shadows of their former selves, in terms of the industry, and available choices. It is just another in an incessant chain of bad decisions being made by this horrific and grossly incompetent administration. 

 

Unless, and until the young women are given better alternatives, the industry will continue. When a person decides to devote four years of their life, and a substantial sum of money, to attending a university, and then graduates, and is able to earn only 5,000 to 10,000 baht more than the one with no education at all, there is something wrong with the system.

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On 6/8/2016 at 4:42 AM, Cylon said:

I regret marrying all 3 of my wives.

All 3 also regret marrying you I guess.  Marrying a Thai lady is like playing Gin Rimmy isn't it? They are holding the jokers at lease 2 jokers on hand, so what are your chances?

Edited by madusa
correct word
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On 6/8/2016 at 5:38 AM, sirineou said:

If I have any regret, it is that I did not meet her years ago.

I regret my wife being so much younger than me. Over the seven years of being married we have grown very close and we have developed a genuine love for each other, now I have to content with the fact that I will die before her ,leaving her along.

It is a thought that when it occurs gives me a fair amount of stress. I know it is an unhealthy, morbid thought, and that I need to put it in proper perspective, but as of yet I have not learn to deal with it.

I have the exact same sentiments as you.

 

Also the fact I am always preparing life insurance, investments, etc. for her after I am gone.

 

Hope that they discover a way for us to live forever before I get too old! Always hope the way science and technology is going!

 

 

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9 minutes ago, bwpage3 said:

I have the exact same sentiments as you.

 

Also the fact I am always preparing life insurance, investments, etc. for her after I am gone.

 

Hope that they discover a way for us to live forever before I get too old! Always hope the way science and technology is going!

 

 


Exact same here. We have been married 10 years; together for 12; now have a beautiful little girl who is the joy of my life.  We have that big age difference.  It doesn't matter to either of us, but I am totally preparing for my wife & daughter for when I'm gone.  Got the investments in auto-drive mode so they won't have to manage them; life insurance till the girl gets past college.  The biggest thing we have done is built a lifetime of memories together in a very short time. We lived our first year together in BKK; then 3 years in Japan, a bit in California; we've been in Hawaii now for 5 years, and moving back to Japan soon to a different region.  We have done far more in our 10 years than many couples have done in 40; my focus is maintaining my health & strength for many more wonderful years together.  I just retired last month so now we have the freedom to go anywhere & do anything; life looks very exciting in the years ahead! 

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2 hours ago, bwpage3 said:

I have the exact same sentiments as you.

 

Also the fact I am always preparing life insurance, investments, etc. for her after I am gone.

 

Hope that they discover a way for us to live forever before I get too old! Always hope the way science and technology is going!

 

 

 

2 hours ago, USNret said:


Exact same here. We have been married 10 years; together for 12; now have a beautiful little girl who is the joy of my life.  We have that big age difference.  It doesn't matter to either of us, but I am totally preparing for my wife & daughter for when I'm gone.  Got the investments in auto-drive mode so they won't have to manage them; life insurance till the girl gets past college.  The biggest thing we have done is built a lifetime of memories together in a very short time. We lived our first year together in BKK; then 3 years in Japan, a bit in California; we've been in Hawaii now for 5 years, and moving back to Japan soon to a different region.  We have done far more in our 10 years than many couples have done in 40; my focus is maintaining my health & strength for many more wonderful years together.  I just retired last month so now we have the freedom to go anywhere & do anything; life looks very exciting in the years ahead! 

Over the years we have also grown very close. I am in the US right now for mu job and Nuy is in Thailand supervising the build of our new home almost finished now and having the traditional  housewarming this Sunday. We are always together and like to travel, last september we went to Greece.

She calls me the moment she wakes up every day  , and we talk a few times until I go to sleep we only have a few hours because of the time difference. Then I call her when I wake up and we talk a few times before she goes to sleep. 

Two more years until I retire. Same like you I try to provide for her financial security after I am gone (I will be 61 in june so hopefully we will have a few more good years together) 

  I don't know about living forever, I don't think I can keep up my BS for that long LOL

We have a Home in the US , and two houses in Thailand,  all paid for. and when I retire I will take a reduced pension option but she gets to keep it for life .

That's for her  financial security,  I am more concerned with her emotional well being, as I said we are very close and she is not the kind that makes friends easy.

It's my fault she loves me soo much, I ca'nt help it being so lovable LOL

I try to force her to be more independent. 

When we were doing her fiance visa (many years ago, ) to come to the US she wanted as to get an agent she said she could not do it, I told her she could do it and she did. Same when she came to the US , I forced her to get her drivers licence immediately, and though we did not need the money to get a job at my friends Thai restaurant. She had her own money and got to be around other Thai people and make friend. One of them had a nail shop , so again I send her to school to get her nail tech licence,

. For her citizenship papers I did the same, (do it yourself with my assistance) , even though every fiber in my body wanted me to do it for her. . Next year she was helping her friend do her papers.

Point being we need to teach them to be more independent because we will not be around always to do it for them.

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" Do you regret marrying your wife? Why/why not? How long have you been married? "

 

No real regrets, though the language barrier was difficult for many years.  That made it so much harder to communicate the subtle things that mean so much in a relationship, along with the cultural shift. She didn't speak English when we married and my Thai was not great.  I was only there 3 years total. We mostly talked about life philosophy or road kill and such when we were dating. It was difficult for her to go to USA, learn the language and get along for 36 years, raising two fine boys in the process.  She never really wanted to go anyway, but I didn't want to leave her there. 

 

We're coming up on our 40th anniversary later this year.  She's been back in Loei for a year and a half at our house.  Mostly to get away from me :).  We talk more on video chat now that we did at home for years, and it's great.  She has her orchids, a new puppy and chickens in the yard.  I have a bit of peace and quiet. I have to figure out a good way to commute there during the good seasons and resolve things here, as my Mom is 89 and fading.

 

I will say that money never came into the picture.  We started poor, worked hard, saved and did well. My wife did the books and paid the bills for the last 20 years or so. Full access to all cash accounts.  She's a good kid.  Wish I could say the same about me.

 

 

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" Do you regret marrying your wife? Why/why not? How long have you been married? 

We've been married for 23 years and I have no regrets, although I should add that the first few years were pretty rocky due to so many cultural differences and misunderstandings. Things settled down nicely after a couple of years, and the next decade or so was very, very pleasant while we both beavered away at jobs in Singapore. She actually expressed concern that we weren't getting into any arguments in those days, so we bought two sets of boxing gloves and sparred frequently to get some exercise. 

A few years back, when I attempted to retire, it was soon completely obvious that we weren't prepared to spend 24/7 together. So, I went back to work, and things are now back to 'normal'. After I stop working the next time, I will spend a few hours away daily so as to allow her some space. Hopefully, that scenario, along with our advancing ages, will allow for domestic tranquility.  If not, I'm not sure what will happen. 

Along the way, I think both of us might have learned a few things, including many things already mentioned in this forum. Suffice to say that the suggestion of "taking your time" is a VERY good one - we spent most of a year just getting to know one another as friends before we took things any further. Additionally, I think it's essential that one of you be "jai yen yen' (cool headed) as seemingly trivial situations can easily escalate in the early stages of getting involved. Finally, make a point of sharing a drink and putting down the bloody phones and talking at least a few evenings a week to 'check in' and check the emotional weather. 

I can't comment on the the question of age difference, but I'm older by about four years, although you'd assume my "much better half" to be at least a decade younger. I don't know how Thai women do it, but there must be a lot of aging paintings hidden away somewhere. 

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I regret marrying all 3 of my wives.





I don't regret marrying my 1st wife (English wife in the UK), because I got 3 wonderful kids out of that marriage. But when the money ran out, so did she.

I regret marrying my 2nd wife (Issan bar-girl), because no matter what I did to improve her life, she just wanted to gamble and f*** (although not with me).

I regret marrying my 3rd wife (Issan decent girl), because she only wanted my money and knowledge to improve her business.

Most of all, I regret that all 3 wives were absolute schmucks, because their actions mean that I can never trust any woman again as far as 'love' is concerned.

To put it simply, I won't waste my time with any woman who professes to love me. No idea if it's true or not, and can't be bothered to find out either way :) Edited by simon43
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4 hours ago, simon43 said:

I don't regret marrying my 1st wife (English wife in the UK), because I got 3 wonderful kids out of that marriage. But when the money ran out, so did she.

I regret marrying my 2nd wife (Issan bar-girl), because no matter what I did to improve her life, she just wanted to gamble and f*** (although not with me).

I regret marrying my 3rd wife (Issan decent girl), because she only wanted my money and knowledge to improve her business.

Most of all, I regret that all 3 wives were absolute schmucks, because their actions mean that I can never trust any woman again as far as 'love' is concerned.

To put it simply, I won't waste my time with any woman who professes to love me. No idea if it's true or not, and can't be bothered to find out either way :)

 

 

 


Pretty sad and such a waste of life's opportunity. My story isn't too different, but I did one thing that it seems you didn't -- I got smarter along the way.  I realize the first 2 bad choices were because of my stupidity & ignorance; I swore I would not make that mistake a 3rd time.  I did something that I thought I would never do -- actually made a checklist of the qualities I wanted in a life-partner.  High on the list -- A college degree, to demonstrate she know how to focus & stay committed to a goal over an extended period (my Thai wife has 2 degrees plus a minor in Japanese).  Also, a healthy, loving relationship with her parents was required -- showing she has a good role model of what family life should be.  No manipulation among them, no drama or abuse. 

There were a few other qualities on my list, but in the end we made the perfect match.  Married 10 years, together for 12, a beautiful little girl that we adore and are devoted to, we have life-goals together that we share.  Next month, we leave Hawaii which has been our home for the past 5 years & moving back to Japan, something we long have wanted to do.  Life is very exciting for us looking forward, and it's mostly cuz I learned to think with my big head, not my little head. :P

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13 hours ago, USNret said:


Pretty sad and such a waste of life's opportunity. My story isn't too different, but I did one thing that it seems you didn't -- I got smarter along the way.  I realize the first 2 bad choices were because of my stupidity & ignorance; I swore I would not make that mistake a 3rd time.  I did something that I thought I would never do -- actually made a checklist of the qualities I wanted in a life-partner.  High on the list -- A college degree, to demonstrate she know how to focus & stay committed to a goal over an extended period (my Thai wife has 2 degrees plus a minor in Japanese).  Also, a healthy, loving relationship with her parents was required -- showing she has a good role model of what family life should be.  No manipulation among them, no drama or abuse. 

There were a few other qualities on my list, but in the end we made the perfect match.  Married 10 years, together for 12, a beautiful little girl that we adore and are devoted to, we have life-goals together that we share.  Next month, we leave Hawaii which has been our home for the past 5 years & moving back to Japan, something we long have wanted to do.  Life is very exciting for us looking forward, and it's mostly cuz I learned to think with my big head, not my little head. :P

Pretty much the same as me. First marriage was my stuff up and the second which I sorted myself out for I didn't fully appreciate that there are some women out there more stuffed up than some of us guys. After that divorce raised the two kids from my first marriage through to uni. Then came to Thailand many times and while I was meeting lots of women was not getting introductions to degree qualified, honest, working, family value women, and to be honest yes slim and attractive as well.

Third marriage around I did the same on selecting contractors in business, cars, houses and everything else in life...made a list of what I wanted and didn't want, and rigidly stuck to it. Then did a profile on myself, got it translated into thai and presented it to all the thai females who matched my search criteria on three thai dating sites. Had a good and very varied response back and then spent six months emailing and chatting heaps working through to the one who shone through. Went back to Thailand to meet the beautiful lass that has been my wife for the last 12 years. Met her in person on my 50th birthday with her under the watchful chaperone of three of her girlfriends. Over the three weeks of that trip that gradually weaned down to no chaperones. Eight months later had her home here on a tourist visa and one month after that we were married. The added bonus was the two sweet beautiful daughters she had whose father had walked out them 18 years ago when the youngest was born, and who now lovingly cherish me as their Dad. Her family are all teachers, engineers and business people who welcomed me into their extended family right from the start. After the crap of a life I have had right through until the tragic event that brought me to Thailand for the first time in my early forties I now think I am the luckiest son of a bitch alive to have the beautiful family unit I now have and the extended family we have in Thailand for when we are there. 

Have never regretted any of my marriages including the first two as they are the learning experiences you need, as long as you are prepared to learn, to work towards getting it right. Especially so when you are brought up dirt poor by a violent drunkard father and rely on charity organisations and spend the later years of your childhood in state care. 

When I first came to Thailand I came by myself, hired a Budget car and got them to point me in the direction of Isaan and away I went with the Rough Guide thai phrasebook as my guide and companion. Had three weeks that was an absolute ball and feel in love with the rawness of the country. The sound advice I did have was from a mate with a thai wife and it was three briefs...1) think with the brain in your head not the one in your pants, 2) like all good things take your time (it took me 1 or 2 trips to Thailand yearly for 6 years before I met my wife) and 3) do not commit more than you are prepared to walk away from. 

Edited by Roadman
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