Moving Home- 2 yrs on

[formerfarang]

Hello all. As a newcomer  postingto this site, I have always read stories of guys, for various reasons packing up and considering moving on, so I thought I would share our experience of relocating back home.

 

As a Brit in Thailand, I had a great time, and stayed there 12 years, in 3 different places in total.  I met my wife, a young 19yr old bargirl, 12 yrs my junior, and we married after about 18 months together. Her parents have never been demanding, but in any case we have never begrudged sending them 2000 bt a month. Not a great deal for us in the scheme of things. We never paid a lump sum or dowry when married. My wife had no children prior to us being married, but now we have 2 together. A boy and a girl, and have been happily married for 10 yrs. As our oldest kid was approaching school age, we made the decision and sold everything in Thailand,  house , car etc and all relocated lock stock back to the UK. We had been here a few times on family holidays, so its something we had spoken about a few times. My wife has since passed her UK driving test, and has worked pretty much non stop since arriving here. She gets about 17k a year as a carer and cook. The kids are doing well at school/ pre school and the eldest is about to start his 2nd yr at primary. I was fortunate to still have a property here in the UK, so the move was less complicated and less expensive as for some. 

On school runs, my wife is the small Thai girl in a sea of elephants in leggings, and to be honest, she hasn't really made that many friends since arriving. She never was one to go searching for groups of Thais, to get that social circle so many desperately crave. We keep ourselves to ourselves, and have a great family life, doing so much more than the extreme heat and limited cultural excursions allowed us in Thailand.

If we didn't have kids, we'd probably still be in LOS, but we have, so we're not, its as simple as that. The wife has been home twice to visit her mum, and is currently just about to apply for FLR. I cant see myself going back for a while, not through resentment or ill feeling, just there is nothing else I could gain from going back. Been there, done it, loved it, hated it, and the time came to just move on. 

For anyone thinking of moving home for the sake of their kids, it can be done. Its not cheap, but can be done. A great move for us, and feeling positive about the years ahead. For everyone else in Thailand, enjoy it. Sometimes I envy you, to be honest, but we cant have it all, can we ? All the best. Formerfarang . 

Edited September 2, 2016 by formerfarang

[OMGImInPattaya]

Interesting report...I know several former working girls who married farangs and ended up in Europe. They are in long-term relationships and now have kids and also work (one a chef and another as a licensed care-giver). They also have become pretty fluent in English (one both English and Finnish) and own and drive cars too. They have made respectable lives for themselves so it definitely can be done if there's good material to start with.

 

Good luck to you all.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Most people don't like prostituting themselves.

[awayego]

Thanks for the good positive feedback.

We are in a very similar position and have already taken the decision to return to the UK, mainly for our son's education but for other reasons too.

I think I have more reservations about the move than my wife - she is very pragmatic about it - so your comments are reassuring to both of us.

 

[williamgeorgeallen]

always interesting to read posts like this and good on you for risking negative replies that may come from people who read these forums. great to see a success story. i am in the same position. a boy and a girl to a bar girl and relocating back to nz at the end of the year. my girl also seems to be happy spending time with the kids and has almost no contact with any thai people so it might work out ok. we did a 5 month trip last year and bought a house which is ready to go when we get back. fingers crossed.

[thai3]

2 hours ago, OMGImInPattaya said:

Interesting report...I know several former working girls who married farangs and ended up in Europe. They are in long-term relationships and now have kids and also work (one a chef and another as a licensed care-giver). They also have become pretty fluent in English (one both English and Finnish) and own and drive cars too. They have made respectable lives for themselves so it definitely can be done if there's good material to start with.

 

Good luck to you all.

 

Far more such relationships end up in divorce though, the odds are against it working, but good luck to the ones where it has.

[SOTIRIOS]

....wish you luck....

 

...here or there...aside from our perceptions...Thai women generally get whatever they want...with or without you...

[catman20]

great story luv your honesty you sound very happy good for you and your family.

[Gary A]

I'm quite happy being retired here in Thailand. Since 1991 I have been here full time except for a five year period working in Kalifornia. I would never have thought that I would learn to despise Kalifornia. All I could think about was being able to retire and move back to Thailand. I have no intention of ever leaving again.

 

All that said, I would certainly think differently if I had children. International schools here are so expensive that few people could afford to send their children to a good school. Children are entitled to a good education and unfortunately they won't get it in the Thai public schools.

 

Thailand is a great place to retire but not a good place to raise a family unless you have a very good lifetime income.

[robblok]

Kids change it all.. agree for kids its better to be educated somewhere else. 

[Agent Sumo]

Married a bargirl?

 

Took her back to his country??

 

Brave

[eastendanto]

Sounds like you're on a good road there Formerfarang.....hope it all goes well... as for the Missus and meeting up with other thais.... hopefully she does not yearn for it for a long time (possibly forever) my experience is that it always ends up in cat fights.....my house is bigger then your house, my husband has better job, my car bigger then your car.....blah blah blah...... my missus been living in UK since 2013 and in that time I've lost count of the amount of times she has met other Thai women, been to their house, they come to our house, they go out for an evening in a group and not one relationship has lasted, they'll remain acquaintances in some cases and in others they won't talk again until hell freezes over.....I know my missus can give it large to other Thai women when appropriate, however she tends to watch and listen before making up her mind......You can take the Thai lady out of Thailand but you can't take Thailand out of the Thai lady.....

[oxo1947]

1 hour ago, thai3 said:

 

Far more such relationships end up in divorce though, the odds are against it working, but good luck to the ones where it has.

.

Oh Yes..... what are the " Far more such relationships end up in divorce though," stats..? I am sure you will provide the link that you or quoting from---seems it just slipped your mind to put it in.......or if as expected you are quoting no figurers whatsoever, then the name of the bar you got the information from will do..........................

 

** The guy has stood up and said what she was working at----I have meet so many happy couples from Oz--NZ---& the UK,  who say they meet in a shop or wherever...maybe they did, but if they didn't then its quite understandable that the past of both of them,  is nothing to do with anyone else.

As usual ---if you go by bad news.....there's always a lot more of it printed.

[Thailimpan]

1 hour ago, Gary A said:

I'm quite happy being retired here in Thailand. Since 1991 I have been here full time except for a five year period working in Kalifornia. I would never have thought that I would learn to despise Kalifornia. 

Where the eff is Kalifornia? Looking at the spelling, looks like a place I would despise too.

[Krataiboy]

4 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

Most people don't like prostituting themselves.

 

But most people do, in one way or another. Or hadn't you, in your moral ivory tower, noticed?

[Denim]

4 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

Most people don't like prostituting themselves.

 

And yet anyone who is an employee does just that. Just different services using different parts of the body. I've met loads of teflers who hate teaching but need the money.

[Mansell]

Congratulations to you and your family. Good to read. When there are intelligent people together they can make effort to make it work for them both. As for the judgements from the "I am right brigade" about your wife....as I see it she was very young when you met and her "bar girl career" was barely started.......how nice that she met a good guy like you.

and the Kalifornia comment....that was the way we used to spell it in the late sixties.

[Kwasaki]

Good for you OP.

I agree with another poster Thailand is OK for retirement but being here at a younger age so to speak and starting family etc if you have means to make a better life for the kids good on ya.  

[Kabula]

4 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

Most people don't like prostituting themselves.

Agree..., but aren't we all prostitutes for money or pleasure?  We all have to give up something for money, and some their souls!

 

Isn't marriage legal prostitution?  Stop supporting her and watch her leave without turning around.

[oxo1947]

4 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

Most people don't like prostituting themselves.

 

.

" Most people don't like prostituting themselves".=== No Shit Sherlock,

You really don't feel that their getting lots of fun going down on men older than their Grandpa...? But your inference really --like a lot of your posts is that there are lots of other options for everyone.

.

Your Canadian aren't you..?? Live there--another one of these people who only live in Thailand through the internet---telling us often, how you wouldn't actually live here, but your an expert on the country none the less---with a Thai university educated wife ..good girl....etc .....etc.

 

Are you an expert on your own countries sex industry ?

If I told you that ---nearly 90% of sex workers in Canada where actually born Canadians--not foreign girls, would you believe that ? If I said that nearly 30% of those Canadians were first sold into a sexual service before the age of 19 --believable ? 

 

Of course you know these stats are true.....because whenever you can tear yourself away from the Thailand pages---you live there.

 

Researchers have released what’s being called the first national report on the sex industry in Canada http://www.straight.com/blogra/733571/sex-workers-canada-17-interesting-facts-new-report

 

[louse1953]

51 minutes ago, Thailimpan said:

Where the eff is Kalifornia? Looking at the spelling, looks like a place I would despise too.

If i go there do they have hotel.

[Phaeton]

Thank you for write up. Very interesting. Sounds like a great adventure for both of you. Appreciate your honesty a lot.

 

Anything you would do differently? For example I've read that there are "village weddings" in Thailand that are ceremonies, but legally don't mean anything. What kind of wedding did you have here? And was that accepted for you guys in the UK?

[dotpoom]

A lovely heart warming story ...for sure.... Good luck to you both and your two children, it's lovely to hear all is going well.

   Your wife seems to have settled in well to her new way of life, unfortunately I don't know what an FLR is but it sounds like progress anyway.

    I chuckled to myself when I read the bit about her swimming in the leggins..."be careful" I though....she might get into controversies about............. "Leginnies"

Edited September 3, 2016 by dotpoom

[Agent Sumo]

40 minutes ago, Denim said:

 

And yet anyone who is an employee does just that. Just different services using different parts of the body. I've met loads of teflers who hate teaching but need the money.

 

52 minutes ago, Krataiboy said:

 

But most people do, in one way or another. Or hadn't you, in your moral ivory tower, noticed?

 

Only on Thaivisa would you find knuckleheads that consider gainful employment as a teacher or a labourer to be on par with accommodating penises for a living.

[AgMech Cowboy]

Thank you for sharing. Good luck to you.

[blazes]

My wife, after 18 months in Canada, is reluctant to return to LoS.  She feels she is rich beyond all imaginings in earning the minimum wage of $10.50 per hour.  She has accumulated enough in her bank account to pay off her mortgage back home in Korat.

Like one or two responding here, she has been very reluctant to mix with other Thai people, since they always (she says) end up trying to exploit you....."can I bollow $2000?" or "where did you get that blouse, can I bollow it for a party I am going to."

 

But I want to return to LoS, if only to be able to walk out every day without wondering what to wear in a climate that is always warm.

[thaijoe]

formerfalang. can you please send me a email. I like to ask you some questions.

Edited September 3, 2016 by Rimmer
email address removed as per forum rules, please use PM function thank you

[phinick]

My experience is just the opposite.  My wife and I were married and immediately moved to the U.S. (Las Vegas).  A bit of a cultural shock, but she adapted well, made Thai friends, got a job,, driver's license, and car.

A year after her arrival, we returned to Issan to get her 3 kids and bring them to the U.S.  As time went by they all learned to speak perfect English, and became citizens.

Eight years later I started having a large house built in my wife's village for the day I was no longer around, (there is a 30 yr difference in our ages).

We got almost weekly photos of the progress of the house, and then decided to relocate and retire in Thailand. We liquidated everything and my wife, 14 yr old step son and I came to Issan.  The other 2 kids were now legally adults, and chose to stay in America.

Although the boy came here as a Thai who only spoke English, he has done quite well now in school, I worry about keeping him from a better education,  At this point however, I could not afford to relocate all of us back.  I love living here, but if I had it to do over, I would not have built in a village, but near a city.

My marriage has turned out quite well, my wife now sees her family every day, and yesterday we celebrated our 10th anniversary.

 

[rogeroc]

5 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

Most people don't like prostituting themselves.

 

Completely irrelevent to the thread and just an excuse to 'bargirl' bash. Not very pleasant !

 

Best of luck to the OP,  a positive story.

[MissAndry]

5 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

Most people don't like prostituting themselves.

 

But so many end up selling themselves to some large corporation in return for a wage and pension.