Side Effects of Marrying a Much Older Man

[khunpa]

1 hour ago, Docno said:

Today I visited the house of a young 70-year-old American friend and his 29 year old wife (and their two kids, aged 3 and 1). They are as happy as any couple I've seen.      

 

Well thats fantastic! Not many 29-year old women out there, who is into men that old. 

 

Good they did not meet and fall in love 20 years ago...

Edited October 10, 2016 by khunpa

[bandos2000]

some Thai girls i knew before said they preferred older guys for the simple reason , they  tend not to butterfly or want sex as much.

[Mekong Thunder]

I find it amazing how many men come to Thailand still brainwashed with the Western values and rigid little boxes like dating age difference that generally Western women have drilled into their heads for many years!
I'm mid-forties but if I wanted a wife I would definitely look for a 20-30 year old girl for many reasons.Young enough to have healthy kids for me and as mentioned before,when I'm gone she'll still be around for many years to take care of my kids,generally using the money I will have left her which will be considerable.

Women in South-East Asia of my age seem to have no qualms whatsoever in telling me "I'm too old for you" so I am old enough and wise enough to take their sage advice.Most men are kids anyway until 30 or even 40 in some cases and women mature much faster that is a fact.
If you wake up in the morning and look across to your beautiful dusky,dark-skinned wife/girlfriend finding that it puts a big smile on your face who gives a stuff what some still-brainwashed Farang men or bitter Farang women,unable to let go of their Western prejudices thinks anyway?

[applepie16]

From Line news today:

"ความรักเกิดขึ้นได้เสมอ! “คุณตาวัย 71 ปี เเต่งงานกับเเม่เฒ่าวัย 114 ปี” หลังทั้งคู่พบกันที่บ้านพักคนชรา"

Roughly translates as:

"Love can happen any time! Seventy-one year old grandpa weds granny aged 114 after the two met at their old people's home".

 

 

[khunpa]

4 minutes ago, Mekong Thunder said:

I find it amazing how many men come to Thailand still brainwashed with the Western values and rigid little boxes like dating age difference that generally Western women have drilled into their heads for many years!
I'm mid-forties but if I wanted a wife I would definitely look for a 20-30 year old girl for many reasons.Young enough to have healthy kids for me and as mentioned before,when I'm gone she'll still be around for many years to take care of my kids,generally using the money I will have left her which will be considerable.

Women in South-East Asia of my age seem to have no qualms whatsoever in telling me "I'm too old for you" so I am old enough and wise enough to take their sage advice.Most men are kids anyway until 30 or even 40 in some cases and women mature much faster that is a fact.
If you wake up in the morning and look across to your beautiful dusky,dark-skinned wife/girlfriend finding that it puts a big smile on your face who gives a stuff what some still-brainwashed Farang men or bitter Farang women,unable to let go of their Western prejudices thinks anyway?

 

If you were 70, would you then go for a e.g. a 20 year old woman? How big a gap-limit, would you think is fine?

[Mekong Thunder]

1 hour ago, sanemax said:

 

   Some men move to SE Asia because the Females are feminine and they act like Females, unlike Western Females who act quite masculine .

You know this is a real bugbear of mine,the old Western female tagline "South-East Asia is for men that can't get a women back at home"!
I PREFER ASIAN GIRLS TO WESTERN WOMEN,they are as you state more feminine,far more beautiful especially that thick,jet-black,shiny hair that any Western women would kill for.They have beautiful bodies that most Western women will NEVER achieve and they are far more laid back and less demanding than 99.99% of Western women also.
Basically if you prefer Western females to Asian ones then you probably need your head examining.I honestly believe that most modern-day Western women have serious mental health issues,getting tattoos,drinking heavily and shouting and screaming at everyone,plus fighting in the streets in any town or city centre every weekend!
I wouldn't go with one for all the tea in China!

[eldragon]

5 hours ago, sanemax said:

 

  The "girl being emotionally damaged " !!!!

What about the guys ?

Typically and older guy will come to Thailand, meet a younger lady , sets up a house , gives her all she wants , spends alot of his hard earned money setting up a new life for himself with the Thai wife with the view to living happily ever after .   

Something happens, like the Thai Baht appreciating by 25% , he decided to cut back on his spending and stop giving money to her family .

   She them leaves, taking the house and kids with her and shes off looking fo someone richer to support her, leaving the felang to live in a cheap condo on the 10 th floor, too old and poor to start again , just drinks all day and thinking about whether he should join the flying club .

    

 

Fair enough. Sounds like a good topic for another thread. Although I'd say the old man is wiser and has more perspective than a young girl from a less developed nation and should thus know what he's getting into when he embarks on an unconventional marriage.

[Liquorice]

4 hours ago, sanemax said:

If a  female goes out to a bar looking for sex and theres an ugly guy who arrives in a Ferrari and another handsome guy arrives on a bus , no guesses who's attention she will be attempting to seek

 

The bus driver?

[Mekong Thunder]

8 minutes ago, khunpa said:

 

If you were 70, would you then go for a e.g. a 20 year old woman? How big a gap-limit, would you think is fine?

My HONEST answer is that I really wouldn't let it worry me,I would follow my heart as I have done throughout most of my life,which has worked out very well for me so far!

[khunpa]

2 minutes ago, Mekong Thunder said:

You know this is a real bugbear of mine,the old Western female tagline "South-East Asia is for men that can't get a women back at home"!
I PREFER ASIAN GIRLS TO WESTERN WOMEN,they are as you state more feminine,far more beautiful especially that thick,jet-black,shiny hair that any Western women would kill for.They have beautiful bodies that most Western women will NEVER achieve and they are far more laid back and less demanding than 99.99% of Western women also.
Basically if you prefer Western females to Asian ones then you probably need your head examining.I honestly believe that most modern-day Western women have serious mental health issues,getting tattoos,drinking heavily and shouting and screaming at everyone,plus fighting in the streets in any town or city centre every weekend!
I wouldn't go with one for all the tea in China!

 

Wait until you see a Thai-woman go crazy! Nothing feminine in that :-)

[NoshowJones]

I don't see anything wrong with a rich old man of 70 marrying a girl about 30, as long as he knows and accepts she is only

there for financial gain, does not love him but may respect him, will go with guys nearer her own age in the near future.

It may be much better for him than living as a lonely old man, who will die and leave all his money to someone else.

[NoshowJones]

16 hours ago, upside said:

 

Funny you mention Joan Collins as well preserved,  she's been dead for over a year. 

No she's not, that was her younger sister Jackie.

[Mekong Thunder]

1 minute ago, possum1931 said:

I don't see anything wrong with a rich old man of 70 marrying a girl about 30, as long as he knows and accepts she is only

there for financial gain, does not love him but may respect him, will go with guys nearer her own age in the near future.

It may be much better for him than living as a lonely old man, who will die and leave all his money to someone else.

Exactly,like his Western family that were happy to let him rot in a foreign land alone!

[khunpa]

Just now, possum1931 said:

I don't see anything wrong with a rich old man of 70 marrying a girl about 30, as long as he knows and accepts she is only

there for financial gain, does not love him but may respect him, will go with guys nearer her own age in the near future.

It may be much better for him than living as a lonely old man, who will die and leave all his money to someone else.

 

I actually completely agree on that. Especially, if the woman is not forced into the relationship by e.g. her family members.

[NoshowJones]

7 hours ago, Faz said:

From my personal observations of expats I know who would fall into this category of having much younger wives, 20-30 years younger, it wasn't a marriage born out of love, lust and sex, in fact most of the men are probably impotent.

They appear to be marriages of convenience, companionship and needs.

 

The older man has someone to take care of him, do the shopping, bath him, cut his nails, do the housework etc.

 

For the younger women, she gets financial security and a loyal partner, not likely to play the field as Thai men have a reputation of doing.

In most cases the women have had bad experiences with Thai men and they choose an older foreigner purposely.

Lets not forget a Thai woman over the age of 30, regards herself as 'old', with very few Thai men being interested in anything but sex.

 

Most appear to be a type of business arrangement, where both parties benefit from something the other has to offer.

One of the most sensible posts I have read in a long time.

[NoshowJones]

8 minutes ago, khunpa said:

 

I actually completely agree on that. Especially, if the woman is not forced into the relationship by e.g. her family members.

Yes, I should have said as long as both partners are happy.

[Mekong Thunder]

8 minutes ago, khunpa said:

 

Wait until you see a Thai-woman go crazy! Nothing feminine in that :-)

I've lived in SEA for around 12 years now all over,had many girlfriends from the region and have NEVER had one go bat-shit crazy at me as you suggest.I just would not put up with that and Asian girls are EXPERT at gauging exactly how much you will take.
If you put up with that behaviour it will become the norm,if you walk away and find another that doesn't act like a bargirl on yabba...then again I treat women with the same kindness and respect that I would like to be treated with myself,I do understand that many Farang men do not so probably deserve it!

[amykat]

10 minutes ago, Mekong Thunder said:

You know this is a real bugbear of mine,the old Western female tagline "South-East Asia is for men that can't get a women back at home"!
I PREFER ASIAN GIRLS TO WESTERN WOMEN,they are as you state more feminine,far more beautiful especially that thick,jet-black,shiny hair that any Western women would kill for.They have beautiful bodies that most Western women will NEVER achieve and they are far more laid back and less demanding than 99.99% of Western women also.
Basically if you prefer Western females to Asian ones then you probably need your head examining.I honestly believe that most modern-day Western women have serious mental health issues,getting tattoos,drinking heavily and shouting and screaming at everyone,plus fighting in the streets in any town or city centre every weekend!
I wouldn't go with one for all the tea in China!

 

I can understand that, some guys just have a thing for the looks of Asian women. They exist in Western countries and date only Asian women there also.

However as to your last paragraph, I have to ask ...where have you been hanging out ...in a prison yard (for ladies)?? 

[NoshowJones]

10 minutes ago, Mekong Thunder said:

Exactly,like his Western family that were happy to let him rot in a foreign land alone!

If he is a rich old man he would have to be happy living in Thailand, otherwise he could just go home.

[phetphet]

6 hours ago, Tony125 said:

Really? If you and your friends who "Liked" your remark check this link you will see that "Dame" Joan Collins is 83 years young and still alive and kicking   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joan_Collins  Kinda tics me off when so many TV posters submit inncorect information on visas or other subjects because they are know it all's who are too lazy to verify their facts.

It was her sister Jackie (the novelist) that died last year.

[eastendanto]

17 hours ago, upside said:

 

Funny you mention Joan Collins as well preserved,  she's been dead for over a year. 

 

 

Edited October 10, 2016 by eastendanto
comment irrelevant

[LannaGuy]

it's all an 'exchange' and love does not enter into it

 

any old fart who marries a girl 20/30 years younger and thinks she 'loves him' is deluded 

 

if the two go in with eyes wide open and accept that 'exchange' then good luck to them

 

take away the money and suddenly all those "i luv you handsome man age not matter' moments will be history

[realenglish1]

2 hours ago, Jools said:

I'm 66 and my fiancee is 37. I often wonder how she really feels about me. She has a sales job and works very long hours and does have a college degree. She's not a hooker, but I certainly end up paying for many items which she could not afford. She treats me really well but I do wonder what the situation will be later on. I find it difficult to believe that she is  sexually attracted to an old goat like me,but I don't give it too much thought. I just enjoy the relationship. Thinking too much is deadly in Thailand.

If she is with you and works hard then there is no reason for her to be with you other than for love So stop  questioning it

[LannaGuy]

7 hours ago, Faz said:

From my personal observations of expats I know who would fall into this category of having much younger wives, 20-30 years younger, it wasn't a marriage born out of love, lust and sex, in fact most of the men are probably impotent.

They appear to be marriages of convenience, companionship and needs.

 

The older man has someone to take care of him, do the shopping, bath him, cut his nails, do the housework etc.

 

For the younger women, she gets financial security and a loyal partner, not likely to play the field as Thai men have a reputation of doing.

In most cases the women have had bad experiences with Thai men and they choose an older foreigner purposely.

Lets not forget a Thai woman over the age of 30, regards herself as 'old', with very few Thai men being interested in anything but sex.

 

Most appear to be a type of business arrangement, where both parties benefit from something the other has to offer.

 

this

 

(and nothing wrong with it - good luck to them but THIS is the truth and there can be some genuine fondness even some love but it's not at the core of it)

[amykat]

1 hour ago, sanemax said:

 

  Although this is a Thai centric forum and the topic of this thread specifically deals with older felang guys  and younger Thai females .

   I do believe that generally Females are attracted to wealth, more so than good looks, the world over .

Although in richer Countries it is less apparent because most First World Western Females are either self supportive or they receive social gov benefits .

   But this thread is about Thai Females, who generally cannot support themselves and receive no gov benefits and their attraction to richer Western guys .

   I have no idea why you are saying that I am trying to control everybody .

 

I made a few sensible points several pages ago.  You have not been debating me in good faith. You are misquoting me, twisting my words around,  pretending to be confused, can't remember who you are talking to, answering questions with questions, telling me I am not on topic, like now, and just being annoying.  Your point is understood and not unique. It has been expressed here 1 million times.   Taking my specific issue that I attempted to discuss and dragging it out and turning it into this very general issue is not intelligent debate.

 

Better to not engage in the first place, if this is all you are capable of.

[sanemax]

4 minutes ago, amykat said:

You are misquoting me, twisting my words around,  pretending to be confused, can't remember who you are talking to,

 

   Please give me instances where I have misquoted you ?

Pleas state where I have twisted your words around .

I said that it gets confusing when people are talking about two different topics .

Fair enough, I do reply to posts and I do not recall who posted the post (at a later time) 

[Jools]

I'm frequently amazed at the disgust with which older farang/younger Thai woman marriages are discussed. If the poster is not a Thai expat, it's usually an accusation of "exploitation" which quickly escalates into "pedophilia" and is usually mixed in liberally with accusations of relationships with ladyboys. If the poster lives in Thailand, there is usually a generous amount of ageism and liberal use of the term "old fool". We old guys have no illusions that Thailand is exempt from the laws of nature. We're just glad that there are places on earth where we  don't have to settle for a woman who looks like US in a wig. Hopefully, as some of the younger and more "disgusted" posters age, they will see that their tastes in women do not gravitate towards "grandmotherly" types merely because they are grandfatherly. The implication that there is something unnatural or perverted about our arrangements with younger women, is just absurd. I frequently hear "go find someone your own age". If I wanted that, I would stay in America. The jealousy and raw contempt that I see on the fora for older American men is a thing of wonder.

[Janner1]

18 hours ago, upside said:

 

Funny you mention Joan Collins as well preserved,  she's been dead for over a year. 

Hey Upside, 

Here's your downside Joan Collins Actor and columnist is very much alive and to all accounts ( hers mainly ) is still happily screwing Percy.

 

Sadly it is her sister Jackie who died last year of breast cancer. RIP

[nuakmuaynina]

1 hour ago, amykat said:

 

I can understand that, some guys just have a thing for the looks of Asian women. They exist in Western countries and date only Asian women there also.

However as to your last paragraph, I have to ask ...where have you been hanging out ...in a prison yard (for ladies)?? 

 

 

Quite, yes I have tattoos, but I do not drink, or go around shouting at everyone, I also take care of my man ( which according to TV western women are incapable of) 

 

Anyway i digress, as a woman, I have tried dating older men, but it didnt work for me,  I cannot be with someone just for money or security, but also I do not need to be.  I have friends though, who are married to older /richer men, and they are happy in their own way, but they are more likely to have affairs, and are thirsty for attention everywhere they go. 

[sanemax]

5 hours ago, amykat said:

Sanemax, 

 

I have heard in Thailand a word called gik?  Have you?  I have also heard about many married ladies having lovers on the side?  Are these lovers also old and ugly men?  You know, if they happen to be married to some guy who is 20 to 40 years older and good looking or ugly, do they chose a lover that is about the same as their husband? Or what?

 

 

 

 

   No. We are talking about getting married , not people having extra matrial affairs