True Love

[grollies]

The Dancer.....

 

You old cynic you.

[473geo]

I feel a little sad (But not for long ) for those who do not experience the,sparkling eyes, intimate looks, the little touches, the gentle warmth of truly making love, the bask in the afterglow, the need to be close, the planning of projects, the togetherness, never tiring of each others company, a shared sense of humour, enjoying the journey through life together, the love ,shared, returned, and enhanced by children, a common aim to be happy and live well,.............

 

Sorry if this is not your experience fellas, but currently it is mine ... ..while with your attitude...I think it may happen to you 'one day' is perhaps a step too far.

 

All relationships should be better than the last......if one is capable of genuine self appraisal and have the ability to learn from experience. 

 

 

[473geo]

@Yeah Siam

 

"Of course, someone will be along in a minute to say that his 25-40 year younger wife/girlfriend/partner is the real deal but they have little choice but to say such things.

After all, no one actually wants to admit they're a mug."

 

That would be me then.......excepting I happen to think the 'mugs' are the ones that think it cannot happen.......perhaps lacking a certain 'je ne sais quoi'

[NancyL]

Well, the OP didn't say he was asking only for older western guy/younger Thai woman input did he?

 

As I read the OP,  the question about whether it is possible to obtain true love without having to see "real love".  To this I'd have to respond, in the immortal words of Tina Turner "what's love to do with it?"  Seriously.  When you're deciding who to spend the rest of life with, who will take care of you in your old age, who you bear and raise your children, who help define your character and legacy, love is just a small part of the calculus.  Sure, it's an important part, but you can love many women in your life.  What is it about western culture that teaches there is just one "right" person for us?  In truth we all could have been very happy and had very successful lives with various partners.

 

And frankly, you don't see "real love" in a relationship, unlike you've experienced financial loss, the death of a child, miscarriage, serious illness, etc.  It's difficult to discern how someone handles these situations early in a relationship, but from personal experience I can tell you, it really helps if you can have heart-to-heart talks with your intended during the courtship period. I don't see how you can do this if you don't speak the same language, unless you observe your intended "in action". 

 

Just because a woman pushes all the right buttons and makes you feel  young again doesn't mean she's wife material.  Those women are great mistresses, not wives.  Wives help you to succeed.  Somehow in our modern culture we've forgotten about how husbands and wives are supposed to be supportive partners and they each should consider this before they enter into the marriage.  Thai women understand this. Western men don't.

[geriatrickid]

You want love?  Then consider a local friend available from one of the many fine, organizations helping our furry friends.  This beautiful girl is Margarita currently of Soidog and she's looking for a home.  The advantage of a cat or dog over a viper is that our furry friends give unconditional love and never ask for money or  have weird affectionate relationships with brothers or cousins who look they are  zapped on yaba.  

 

 

 

Give a dog a hug, or a cat a caress and your day will be great and your worries soothed, such is their healing power.

 

[473geo]

 "Somehow in our modern culture we've forgotten about how husbands and wives are supposed to be supportive partners and they each should consider this before they enter into the marriage.  Thai women understand this. Western men don't. "

 

Sorry Nancy from my point of view that statement is a poor generalisation, I know we see western men on this forum who find this concept challenging,  but also know many who embrace it as an essential part of a loving relationship.

[YeahSiam]

1 hour ago, 473geo said:

@Yeah Siam

 

"Of course, someone will be along in a minute to say that his 25-40 year younger wife/girlfriend/partner is the real deal but they have little choice but to say such things.

After all, no one actually wants to admit they're a mug."

 

That would be me then.......excepting I happen to think the 'mugs' are the ones that think it cannot happen.......perhaps lacking a certain 'je ne sais quoi'

 

Well if you've achieved that apparent state of nirvana without having to serve up an allowance to her or her family, good on you; you may well be that exception

If, on the other hand, if you're doing the "stupid stipend" thing, I'm afraid nirvana is definitely one-sided in your case.

[473geo]

4 minutes ago, geriatrickid said:

You want love?  Then consider a local friend available from one of the many fine, organizations helping our furry friends.  This beautiful girl is Margarita currently of Soidog and she's looking for a home.  The advantage of a cat or dog over a viper is that our furry friends give unconditional love and never ask for money or  have weird affectionate relationships with brothers or cousins who look they are  zapped on yaba.  

 

 

 

Give a dog a hug, or a cat a caress and your day will be great and your worries soothed, such is their healing power.

 

 

Sorry Geriatric kid apparently there is theory doing the rounds that if you cannot speak the language and carry out in depth discussion true love is impossible

Given the information in the posts above I must also submit that a pet will show affection only while you keep feeding it, thus according to Tvisa legend  cannot truly love you

 

Also the pet would happily go and lavish affection on a brother, neighbour, cousin, a bitch on heat, if they pandered to the right needs.

 

Good for exercise though! Keep one out of bars and hopefully away from all those dangerous Thai women

[473geo]

9 minutes ago, YeahSiam said:

 

Well if you've achieved that apparent state of nirvana without having to serve up an allowance to her or her family, good on you; you may well be that exception

If, on the other hand, if you're doing the "stupid stipend" thing, I'm afraid nirvana is definitely one-sided in your case.

 

Well without providing too much detail my wife and her family have played a large part of our family progress over the years and so it continues, truly a partnership, not a one way street at all. My wife is also very protective of the interests of our immediate family. So yes life is good, and we work together to improve all along the way, a truly enjoyable experience.

Many will have seen me write this before......my life has never been about money

Edited January 21, 2017 by 473geo
spelling

[YeahSiam]

1 minute ago, 473geo said:

 

Well without providing too much detail my wife and her family have played a large part of out family progress over the years and so it continues, truly a partnership, not a one way street at all. My wife is also very protective of the interests of our immediate family. So yes life is good, and we work together to improve all along the way, a truly enjoyable experience.

Many will have seen me write this before......my life has never been about money

 

Very skilfully evaded but you didn't answer the question

Are you paying an allowance?

Yes or No?

[paul18620]

On 18/01/2017 at 10:11 PM, The Dancer said:

No, you didn't. You thought you did. But you are wrong. Because you are not the least bit lovable. Oh, don't be offended, I mean nothing personal. I am sure  you are a bang-up kind of guy and the bar doesn't come alive until you are parked on your stool.

 

What I mean is that you bring nothing to the table for a Thai woman to love. You look different,  don't speak her language, know nothing about the movies, music, religion, stories, celebrities, and on and on that she grew up with, your nose is too big and as the day wears on you begin to emit a distinctly farangy odor.

 

What was that you said? We look like Brad Pitt do we? Do me a favor and go watch a couple of lakorns on Channel 7. Do any of the guys look Mr. Pitt? No, because he is too big (buffalo-like), too muscled (reeking of labor class, rather than the lounge set) and too darned ugly (yep, it's relative, where Nadech's the epitome of good looks Brad Pitt is about as hot as Bill O'Reilly).

 

You spent 7 years learning Thai and now read, write and speak? Sorry but all your fluency in Thai does is make you a slightly odd Thai-wannabe farang who just might have other quirks, rather than an honest to goodness off-the-boat farang. In fact your knowing Thai gets you exactly to the point where Thais can see what you don't have a clue of, particularly, Thai culture, values, etc., etc. I am not knocking learning Thai. It's very useful. But it doesn't make you lovable.

 

But you found a well-educated English speaking hiso Thai lass who loves you for your Western self? BS. The guy she really was lusting after before you came into the picture was that kid from the XYZpong family studying to be a doctor, the skinny one, with the mildly feminine features, with a shade of a mustache and a hairy mole under his left cheek. And she almost had him until that total bitch from Korat, who dresses like a slut and was known once to have put out to a motosai guy after getting drunk, stole him. At that point you became the consolation prize.

 

You know what it is about consolation prizes right? Athletes train for years, end up third from last, make a nice speech about how just participating made it all worth it, and gracefully accept a consolation prize. Then when they get home they shut the door, fly into a rage, hurl the prize across the room, and stamp on it till it's a thousand pieces. Yep, that's you and little Miss Hiso.

 

Ah, you are rich? Now, we are talking. Not about true love but a true arrangement. You support her and mom and dad and the lazy brother, and buy a car and build a house and in return she cooks, cleans, and grits her teeth once a week through boom-boom.

 

True love? Just around the corner.

 

 

 

another person who has been burnt and is still bitter ,,,grow up son !!!!!!

[473geo]

3 minutes ago, YeahSiam said:

 

Very skilfully evaded but you didn't answer the question

Are you paying an allowance?

Yes or No?

 

Well let us see now, I have a wife, 2 children, and a home to run........you are suggesting if I provide financial support this is some sort of an indicator, in your mind,  that I am not involved in a loving relationship!!

 

Oh dear oh dear  oh dear - let it go  

[YeahSiam]

1 minute ago, 473geo said:

 

Well let us see now, I have a wife, 2 children, and a home to run........you are suggesting if I provide financial support this is some sort of an indicator, in your mind,  that I am not involved in a loving relationship!!

 

Oh dear oh dear  oh dear - let it go  

 

Depends on whether the children are yours or were in situ when you arrived.

If they're yours, fair play; if they're not...........

[473geo]

3 minutes ago, YeahSiam said:

 

Depends on whether the children are yours or were in situ when you arrived.

If they're yours, fair play; if they're not...........

 

As stated in a previous post, my wife, children, and I, share much affection and love. A very fulfilling part of my life, I am exceptionally proud of them, all are high achievers who work hard. I guess it comes from living in a consistent, stable, loving family unit

I appreciate your concern for the welfare of my family and I, but it really is misplaced.

Enjoy life  

[YeahSiam]

1 minute ago, 473geo said:

 

As stated in a previous post, my wife, children, and I, share much affection and love. A very fulfilling part of my life, I am exceptionally proud of them, all are high achievers who work hard. I guess it comes from living in a consistent, stable, loving family unit

I appreciate your concern for the welfare of my family and I, but it really is misplaced.

Enjoy life  

 

God I feel like Jeremy Paxman interviewing Michael Howard

 

 

[473geo]

Dear Yeah Siam

 

To take a quote out of the clip you provided - "It is about what I am entitled to do "

 

I am entitled to limit the information I provide about my family on a public forum  for no other reason than to be sure my family are put at no risk.

 

Again thank you for your concern,  I do not wish to labour the point but your concern is unwarranted and totally unnecessary. Please do not further waste your time pontificating, apologies if you have not reached the conclusion anticipated. Life can be like that.

[YeahSiam]

5 minutes ago, 473geo said:

Dear Yeah Siam

 

To take a quote out of the clip you provided - "It is about what I am entitled to do "

 

I am entitled to limit the information I provide about my family on a public forum  for no other reason than to be sure my family are put at no risk.

 

Again thank you for your concern,  I do not wish to labour the point but your concern is unwarranted and totally unnecessary. Please do not further waste your time pontificating, apologies if you have not reached the conclusion anticipated. Life can be like that.

 

Well wait a minute.

You're the one who proclaimed that you have this idyllic situation and that the more realistic among us lacked "je ne sais quoi" because we apparently don''t experience the "intimate looks", the "little touches" etc.

You put your business in public then when called on it, you pretend it's suddenly become private.

Answering a simple question about whether or not you pay a stipend won't put your family at risk; neither will stating whether or not the children are yours or your wife's from a previous relationship unless of course 473geo is on your passport or your house book.

 

Anyway, look, if you don't want to say then don't but you'll understand if I and other posters reading your cryptic, Howard-esque responses surmise that you are not an exception at all.

Kid yourself all you want - there's no law against being deluded - but don't feign pity for those of us who can see what guys like you really have even if you can't.

[473geo]

Of course I'll understand if you and other posters see it how you want to see it Yeah Siam - isn't that always the way

 

 

Meanwhile in the real world (Mine) Leeds are back in the game

[YeahSiam]

1 hour ago, 473geo said:

Of course I'll understand if you and other posters see it how you want to see it Yeah Siam - isn't that always the way

 

 

Meanwhile in the real world (Mine) Leeds are back in the game

 

OK but do yourself a favour; consider the very real possibility what you take to be "true love" is actually "true gratitude.

[473geo]

25 minutes ago, YeahSiam said:

 

OK but do yourself a favour; consider the very real possibility what you take to be "true love" is actually "true gratitude.

 

Those of us who have successfully negotiated the ups and downs, the sharp curves, U turns, and cul de sacs of life, are aware, and have experienced the many facets of the female form. With 'true gratitude' as you call it, firstly it does not compare with true love, second the effort is high maintenance on the part of the female and the mask can too easily slip.

 

I am always rather surprised when my wife slips her hand into mine walking in Public, I shouldn't be, she does it often, then looks up into my eyes and smiles. Before you say it, I am not at the stage where I need support, or helping across the road.  I get the impression my wife is proud to be my wife and not afraid to demonstrate this in public....I guess she is comfortable and confident with the thought our love will last...she should be, I have never been happier, married to such a remarkable person, we think along the same lines, only very occasionally have a variance of opinion, we are confident enough to be very open about how we feel on all topics.......we make a good team......I'm afraid this information may come as quite a shock to you but never the less appears to be the case.

 

You will of course be starting to work out why my life is successful and I have the ability to build lasting relationships......just look at how tolerant I have been with your questioning and innuendo even though you are far off track

 

 

[geriatrickid]

Jeez. There are some disturbed people in Thai Visa.  My companion animals are my family and provide an opportunity for my human companion and I to bond over our shared love and concern for a member of the family.

If the dog wishes to consume my carcass after I die, so be it. My flesh is but a vessel for my existence whilst I am earth. No one will remember me 1000 years from now, much as no one remembers the people who lived and died 1000 years ago. Sadly, the  companionship of a Thai dog is significantly better than that afforded by many TVFers, particularly those who do not understand the joy and warmth of doggie kisses.

[pigeonjake]

my god there is still some bitter twisted people on the forum,

ive been happy with my life in thailand with my wife and children for years,

look in the farming section our farm keeps us and when i get a call to go to work my wife and the kids run the farm, my wife keeps great books on the farm, 

some on here just cant understand that you can meet a lady have children together and be happy,

no we dont keep the family, infact my wifes parents dont even talk to us now, yes it was about money that they stopped talking to us, that was a great thing to happen, my wife has a lot of cousins and uncles anties who she is very close to, and they agree we are better without her parents in our life,

and yes we have 3 dogs on the farm, a jack russell and 2 soi dogs, big docky is a son of our first soi dog, ive been a dog lover all my life i love dogs and so does my wife and kids, the dogs all fetch sticks for the kids just like any dog in the uk,

we are just starting another project here red claw crayfish, to go along with the rest of the animals we have,

life can be good in thailand, yes you sometimes have to work at it, but you have to do that anywere in the world,

no have a great sunday

[Mitkof Island]

Did you happen to get involved with  a  Thai bar girl ? Like millions of other foreign fools.  Did you learn anything and warn the others who live their lives in bars to get a life?

[Rc2702]

I am interested to know more KC.

 

For example you say Isaan took yoy to the cleaners?

 

A woman from that region or a multitude of reasons whilst settled in Isaan?

 

Was no.1 love not thai? was isaan love no.2 ?

 

Quick question.

 

Did you get taken to the cleaners for being a saint or did you have a few tendencies which may have contributed to the downfall? 

 

 

Edited January 22, 2017 by Rc2702

[grollies]

1 hour ago, pigeonjake said:

my god there is still some bitter twisted people on the forum,

ive been happy with my life in thailand with my wife and children for years,

look in the farming section our farm keeps us and when i get a call to go to work my wife and the kids run the farm, my wife keeps great books on the farm, 

some on here just cant understand that you can meet a lady have children together and be happy,

no we dont keep the family, infact my wifes parents dont even talk to us now, yes it was about money that they stopped talking to us, that was a great thing to happen, my wife has a lot of cousins and uncles anties who she is very close to, and they agree we are better without her parents in our life,

and yes we have 3 dogs on the farm, a jack russell and 2 soi dogs, big docky is a son of our first soi dog, ive been a dog lover all my life i love dogs and so does my wife and kids, the dogs all fetch sticks for the kids just like any dog in the uk,

we are just starting another project here red claw crayfish, to go along with the rest of the animals we have,

life can be good in thailand, yes you sometimes have to work at it, but you have to do that anywere in the world,

no have a great sunday

nice one @pigeonjake, you too 

[Mitkof Island]

1 hour ago, Rc2702 said:

I am interested to know more KC.

 

For example you say Isaan took yoy to the cleaners?

 

A woman from that region or a multitude of reasons whilst settled in Isaan?

 

Was no.1 love not thai? was isaan love no.2 ?

 

Quick question.

 

Did you get taken to the cleaners for being a saint or did you have a few tendencies which may have contributed to the downfall? 

 

 

Like alcoholism maybe?

[YeahSiam]

7 hours ago, 473geo said:

 

Those of us who have successfully negotiated the ups and downs, the sharp curves, U turns, and cul de sacs of life, are aware, and have experienced the many facets of the female form. With 'true gratitude' as you call it, firstly it does not compare with true love, second the effort is high maintenance on the part of the female and the mask can too easily slip.

 

I am always rather surprised when my wife slips her hand into mine walking in Public, I shouldn't be, she does it often, then looks up into my eyes and smiles. Before you say it, I am not at the stage where I need support, or helping across the road.  I get the impression my wife is proud to be my wife and not afraid to demonstrate this in public....I guess she is comfortable and confident with the thought our love will last...she should be, I have never been happier, married to such a remarkable person, we think along the same lines, only very occasionally have a variance of opinion, we are confident enough to be very open about how we feel on all topics.......we make a good team......I'm afraid this information may come as quite a shock to you but never the less appears to be the case.

 

You will of course be starting to work out why my life is successful and I have the ability to build lasting relationships......just look at how tolerant I have been with your questioning and innuendo even though you are far off track

 

 

 

No but I am wondering why you expect people totake you at your word when even the most basic, innocuous questions about the circumstances have you pulling the privacy card after such a laughable display of self-aggrandizement.

 

Cross-generational unions are almost always based on a financial arrangement.

If you say yours is based on "true love", that's your business and nobody else's.......until you patronize others.

[Rc2702]

1 hour ago, Mitkof Island said:

Like alcoholism maybe?

Yh that, the wandering eye, liars - you make mistakes like that your asking for trouble ANYWHERE and strange how it's never anyone's fault but the thai lady. 

 

Would be refreshing to actually hear from a few who can hold their hands up and be a man about things.

 

 

[Panda13]

Sent from my SM-G930F using Thaivisa Connect mobile app

[473geo]

7 hours ago, YeahSiam said:

 

No but I am wondering why you expect people totake you at your word when even the most basic, innocuous questions about the circumstances have you pulling the privacy card after such a laughable display of self-aggrandizement.

 

Cross-generational unions are almost always based on a financial arrangement.

If you say yours is based on "true love", that's your business and nobody else's.......until you patronize others.

You are persistent  in your effort to cover your original faux pas. Unlike you I have no reason to distort the truth, and yes I am patronising in areas where I clearly hold knowledge others have made no effort to discover. There is nothing more to discuss, I do not come onto threads like these to spread falsehood. I have no 'statement' to defend as I tell it how it is, in my life. You can't accept that, then I will never convince you otherwise, does that sound patronising? or the voice of experience from years of debate on Tvisa?