Do village girls need to be more selective?

[williamgeorgeallen]

43 minutes ago, giddyup said:

So, just a guess, no hard evidence? What about all the Thai ladies that marry a falang and go to live in their country, have any more guesses re success and failures? Like a lot of posters on this forum, all conjecture.

not sure where one would get hard evidence from. again from what i have seen thai girls who move overseas are generally not happy. have not heard of many success stories in that department. again there are some i am sure.

[giddyup]

Just now, williamgeorgeallen said:

not sure where one would get hard evidence from. again from what i have seen thai girls who move overseas are generally not happy. have not heard of many success stories in that department. again there are some i am sure.

My point is, anyone can say anything off the top of their head with no facts to back it up. I said I know a lot of falangs in Thailand who have long term, happy relationships with Thai ladies, does that make me any more believable than the guy who says he sees nothing but failures?

[CharlieH]

This is an informal and general internet forum, not a court of law. Whats the obsession with "facts" and "statistics" and "back it up" or "prove it", whats the matter with general polite conversation and "in my experience" and "as far as I know" . Just chatting and exchanging points of view on a subject without cross examination ! Gees guys lighten up ! 

[robin33]

not sure where one would get hard evidence from. again from what i have seen thai girls who move overseas are generally not happy. have not heard of many success stories in that department. again there are some i am sure.

We (wife and I) Married more than 15 years, living happily overseas.
She is happy ( I am quite a catch. :). ) she works hard No kids from other man. Like said before I know more couples. Living together for years but also some had a divorce. But more divorces then western couples I doubt it.
A marriage is give and take , and mergin 2 cultures even more.



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[giddyup]

16 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

This is an informal and general internet forum, not a court of law. Whats the obsession with "facts" and "statistics" and "back it up" or "prove it", whats the matter with general polite conversation and "in my experience" and "as far as I know" . Just chatting and exchanging points of view on a subject without cross examination ! Gees guys lighten up ! 

Because, quite frankly, some opinions are objectionable and often quoted like facts, like the ones that generalize all Thai women as either whores, or money grubbing gold diggers, and falangs as old dim-witted lambs to the slaughter.

[gemguy]

Well...would that would be known as a up country, Thai style Foreign romance.

Edited March 5, 2017 by gemguy

[CharlieH]

I agree, but if thats someones "opinion" or "experience" they are entitled to that, doesnt make them wrong or a liar. Opinons vary and its a general "chat" not a fight for who is right and the need to prove it all the time.

[giddyup]

1 minute ago, CharlieH said:

I agree, but if thats someones "opinion" or "experience" they are entitled to that, doesnt make them wrong or a liar. Opinons vary and its a general "chat" not a fight for who is right and the need to prove it all the time.

In a perfect world.

[CharlieH]

No not perfect, just reasonable.(Imho).

[atyclb]

48 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

This is an informal and general internet forum, not a court of law. Whats the obsession with "facts" and "statistics" and "back it up" or "prove it", whats the matter with general polite conversation and "in my experience" and "as far as I know" . Just chatting and exchanging points of view on a subject without cross examination ! Gees guys lighten up ! 

 

 

"court of law" good one lol.  

 

they're not following basic rules of evidence anyway.  

 

rules of evidence might need to be added to the forum general rules

[atyclb]

6 hours ago, eldragon said:

I gotta take back some of the things I wrote earlier. I'm remembering a handful of times I've met younger village girls with older foreigners. I recall thinking the girl was absolutely stunning. Totally my type with a fun personality. And that I would've been a much better fit for her. I guess I've always wondered where guys meet girls like that. One dude told me he went up north (I'm sure he meant northeast) and approached a girl's parents. Told em he wanted to marry her, take care of her, etc. That's too creepy for me though. If I lived in one of the provinces and had an opportunity to get to know a girl naturally, then maybe.  But the reality for them is there's just not a lot of single farangs up there under 40 or even 50. And anyone who's not desperate for a young piece of ass is gonna realize most of those girls are not as single as they say they are.

 

irrelevant since in farming areas theres likely quite a few "well fit cows" to be found.

[williamgeorgeallen]

7 hours ago, robin33 said:

We (wife and I) Married more than 15 years, living happily overseas.
She is happy ( I am quite a catch. :). ) she works hard No kids from other man. Like said before I know more couples. Living together for years but also some had a divorce. But more divorces then western couples I doubt it.
A marriage is give and take , and mergin 2 cultures even more.



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maybe it works better if you take your girl out of thailand. all i ever hear is disaster stories. have seen many more over the last 10 years living in thailand. i have just relocated my thai girl and our 2 kids to nz. i am ready to move back to thailand if she cant handle living outside of thailand. so far so good.

[williamgeorgeallen]

7 hours ago, giddyup said:

My point is, anyone can say anything off the top of their head with no facts to back it up. I said I know a lot of falangs in Thailand who have long term, happy relationships with Thai ladies, does that make me any more believable than the guy who says he sees nothing but failures?

we are just sharing our observations in a chat room. cant really believe anyone, can just get an idea from reading about a number of peoples observations.

[Gecko123]

On March 3, 2017 at 11:27 PM, chickenslegs said:

What is the view like - up there on your pedestal?

Hey chickens legs: 

 

You've got a good sense of humor, and I like your posts, so I wanted to respond. Honest to God, I don't see myself as on a pedestal. Frankly, sometimes I feel like a lot of the guys I skewered in my post, see THEMSELVES as on a pedestal. Maybe I felt like a little introspection was in order. No offense intended. 

[kangaloowest]

On 3/3/2017 at 11:51 PM, Gecko123 said:

Ladies:

 

This is a good example of the kind of guy you don' t want to bring back to your village. 

And what, you'd be a good catch in comparison  ???

[notmyself]

12 hours ago, williamgeorgeallen said:

maybe couples like that exist but i have never seen them no one i know in thailand has seen them. really i doubt any high end thai girl would want to be seen walking around with a western man.

 Works both ways William. Last thing I would want is to be seen with a snotty hiso mummies girl with a degree in something paid for that she knows nothing about.

[Dumbastheycome]

On 3/3/2017 at 9:50 PM, swissie said:

THEY ARE SELECTIVE !

 

They go for the most gullable (most milkable) Romeo's that can easily be disposed of once the milking is completed.

- Rinse and repeat.......

Milkable Romeo...quite a concept !   

Are you choosing to ignore the many  who  choose a   genuine  unmilkable  bull.  lol

I guess  a herd  of cows requires regular  milking ! Providing   local  butter even. 

Bulls on the  other side of the  fence  are  necessary  but  don't usually  receive the same public  attention.  lmao

[GOLDBUGGY]

Maybe you have been living Upcountry too long. It is time to get back into the city like Pattaya and meet some of the village girls working in bar. The ones that had young handsome Thai Boyfriends, who got them pregnant then refused to work to help support them, forced them into this job, or left them for another woman. Those places are loaded with village girls like that.

 

Personally I don't like to judge people and couples based on looks and age difference. If they are happy with their life then good on them. Seems to me the world is more full of unhappy people then satisfied ones.  

[eldragon]

14 hours ago, giddyup said:

So, just a guess, no hard evidence? What about all the Thai ladies that marry a falang and go to live in their country, have any more guesses re success and failures? Like a lot of posters on this forum, all conjecture.

Can I cite you for the "Biggest Lies Foreigners Tell Themselves" thread? Thais have fallen into a bad place if they really believe the only answer for a single mom is prostitution and/or marrying a rich foreigners they don't connect with. What about all the ones that don't do that? The uneducated single mom's the world over that manage to raised their kids without selling their ass. Just to be clear, I'm not knocking prostitution. But the idea that it's the only choice for single moms here is a bit of a crutch argument.

[abab]

On 3/4/2017 at 6:00 PM, williamgeorgeallen said:

almost without exception the thai girls who are willing to date western men are single mothers and that is just to get financial support. woman like that can not afford to be choosy. also there are only so many western men willing to be milked like a buffalo.

 

 

I do not do any woman with kids and consider them useless.

 

So many "I didn't <deleted> my life yet" women available, why would I choose one with kids ?

 

I did hundreds during the years and keep doing.

 

 

 

[Rimmer]

A racist slur has been removed

[williamgeorgeallen]

6 hours ago, abab said:

 

 

I do not do any woman with kids and consider them useless.

 

So many "I didn't <deleted> my life yet" women available, why would I choose one with kids ?

 

I did hundreds during the years and keep doing.

 

 

 

i had the same policy. not as easy to find those without baggage however.

[swissie]

I said it before and I will say it again: It's the "Baggage" that is the number 1 relationship killer. In this time and age, the expectation that a Farang Husband has to financially "carry" the whole Family- Clan indefinitely does not sit well with the Farangs.

 

If it wasn't for the "Baggage-Factor", I am convinced, that the Failure-Rate concerning Farang/Thai relationships would easily be cut in half.

 

A good time to remember: Most Farangs realize too late, that they haven't just married a Thai-Beauty but a Thai-Family.

Cheers.

[473geo]

23 hours ago, eldragon said:

Can I cite you for the "Biggest Lies Foreigners Tell Themselves" thread? Thais have fallen into a bad place if they really believe the only answer for a single mom is prostitution and/or marrying a rich foreigners they don't connect with. What about all the ones that don't do that? The uneducated single mom's the world over that manage to raised their kids without selling their ass. Just to be clear, I'm not knocking prostitution. But the idea that it's the only choice for single moms here is a bit of a crutch argument.

Given the options for many in Thailand, and yes I have seen women labouring on building sites, crippled with back problems from manual rice harvesting,  you would agree it would take a very small percentage of females who have very limited choices to ensure an adequate supply?

[473geo]

30 minutes ago, swissie said:

I said it before and I will say it again: It's the "Baggage" that is the number 1 relationship killer. In this time and age, the expectation that a Farang Husband has to financially "carry" the whole Family- Clan indefinitely does not sit well with the Farangs.

 

If it wasn't for the "Baggage-Factor", I am convinced, that the Failure-Rate concerning Farang/Thai relationships would easily be cut in half.

 

A good time to remember: Most Farangs realize too late, that they haven't just married a Thai-Beauty but a Thai-Family.

Cheers.

I think you are answering the question "Do Foreign men need to be more selective?"

[Dumbastheycome]

13 hours ago, swissie said:

I said it before and I will say it again: It's the "Baggage" that is the number 1 relationship killer. In this time and age, the expectation that a Farang Husband has to financially "carry" the whole Family- Clan indefinitely does not sit well with the Farangs.

 

If it wasn't for the "Baggage-Factor", I am convinced, that the Failure-Rate concerning Farang/Thai relationships would easily be cut in half.

 

A good time to remember: Most Farangs realize too late, that they haven't just married a Thai-Beauty but a Thai-Family.

Cheers.

If that generalization is  correct then it is probably as  correct that  so many Farangs realize too late that after  presenting themselves as naive big spenders it is that  factor which led to marriage and the eventual problems.

In my personal  case I had no difficulty in full agreement of my wife that I was marrying her and not her  extended family. 

That position  was and continues  after 15 years fully accepted. At the same  time I and they readily do various favours for each other on a  non financial basis.

What I have  never understood  is  why when there is  so much  debate  about the supposed unscrupulous wiles  of Thai  women/ families which should indicate good caution on behalf of a Farang . But almost invariably blame is placed  solely on the Thai/s !

It seems  so often that the person  who rushes in to  buy a cheap second hand sports car on sight finds out  later it  is  just an old  Trabant  with a  racey car kit fitted and as for baggage failed  to ask if  previous credit was  still owed !

[steven100]

It's because they need the ATM at home as quickly as possible.  the buffalo is sick,  papa's car is <deleted>,  mama needs to go to hospital,  the refrigerator is about to blow up, the chickens aren't laying and they need to buy next weeks supply of kao lao ...  

[eldragon]

If that generalization is  correct then it is probably as  correct that  so many Farangs realize too late that after  presenting themselves as naive big spenders it is that  factor which led to marriage and the eventual problems.
In my personal  case I had no difficulty in full agreement of my wife that I was marrying her and not her  extended family. 
That position  was and continues  after 15 years fully accepted. At the same  time I and they readily do various favours for each other on a  non financial basis.

Care to tell us a bit about your wife and her family? Are they financially stable? Anytime a rich guy marries into a poor family, he's entering a situation where everyone will be looking to him for money. It's not exclusive to Thailand.


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[Dumbastheycome]

7 hours ago, eldragon said:

 

Care to tell us a bit about your wife and her family? Are they financially stable? Anytime a rich guy marries into a poor family, he's entering a situation where everyone will be looking to him for money. It's not exclusive to Thailand.


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No problem. All of them have  been and remain in a financially stable but perhaps in  various  states of  affluence as per usual in  rural Thailand.

My wife had  been divorced  and  single  for  10 years when we  met. She had dismissed  suggested offers  of  marriage  in preference  to independence and for  many years held  the position of  P.A  to  a  very wealthy Bangkok business woman. 

Our  meeting  was  incidental rather than opportunistic. My interest in her  was  treated  with  great caution initially .As  for  being a  rich  guy I am not  but  I have  a reasonable  regular  income  to  call on. To that point  my wife  has never  asked how  much I  might  have despite that  query coming to her from locals.

I  have provided  her  with her own  business  which  she has with  indomitable  energy  made a success which in turn has  given her great  satisfaction . 

Yes, she had one  daughter who now considers  me to be her  Father in the real sense and  who is  now also married  and has a  child.

The  Mother  in Law, now  deceased, was  a wonderful old Lady  who only  ever asked  one thing..and that was  to never  leave  her  daughter !

[eldragon]

2 hours ago, Dumbastheycome said:

No problem. All of them have  been and remain in a financially stable but perhaps in  various  states of  affluence as per usual in  rural Thailand.

My wife had  been divorced  and  single  for  10 years when we  met. She had dismissed  suggested offers  of  marriage  in preference  to independence and for  many years held  the position of  P.A  to  a  very wealthy Bangkok business woman. 

Our  meeting  was  incidental rather than opportunistic. My interest in her  was  treated  with  great caution initially .As  for  being a  rich  guy I am not  but  I have  a reasonable  regular  income  to  call on. To that point  my wife  has never  asked how  much I  might  have despite that  query coming to her from locals.

I  have provided  her  with her own  business  which  she has with  indomitable  energy  made a success which in turn has  given her great  satisfaction . 

Yes, she had one  daughter who now considers  me to be her  Father in the real sense and  who is  now also married  and has a  child.

The  Mother  in Law, now  deceased, was  a wonderful old Lady  who only  ever asked  one thing..and that was  to never  leave  her  daughter !

 

That's the way I'd do it. Probably. As I alluded to in my last post- and has been mentioned several times in this thread- it's probably very difficult for a foreigner to trust a Thai girl when her entire family is counting on him for money. Then again, I highly doubt any of these guys would get serious with a very poor woman with a loser family back home. That's one of the challenges of a relationship though. If you fall in love with a girl, why wouldn't you give everything you can to her family, regardless of her background? And where do you draw the line? I guess the important thing is to find a girl that loves you for who you are and not what you bring to the relationship. That seems a bit harder to find in Thailand and Asia as a whole though. Intellect and sophistication are not as important as earning power and stability.