It's impossible to get married here!!!

[howard ashoul]

Since last week I'm trying trying to get married. I'm visiting 1 amphur per 1 day.

 

Amphur #1 - people who are marrying people are not there for the rest of the month (??? it was 4th April)

 

Amphur #2 - they are not marrying farangs (???)

 

Amphur #3 - they have new boss, he is not allowed to marry people (???)

 

Amphur #4 - my soon to be wife is from different city, so no marriage here (??? you can get married at any amphur in Thailand)

 

Amphur #5 - told me, that my documents from embassy aren't enought (??? previous amphurs didn't have problems with them, i have freedom to marry in Thai language)

 

Amphur #6 - she refused to register our prenup, since prenup is something between me-wife-lawyer, nothing to do with amphur (??? in Thailand YOU HAVE TO register prenup during marriage process at amphur, so I refused to get married there)

 

I just came back from Amphur #6 (which was 120 Km trip each way). Tomorrow are all amphurs closed, right? So I have to wait till Monday, to go to even more distant Amphur. Amphur #7.

 

And to get married you need 2 witnesses, right? So my 2 witnesses did all this trips wih me! I really have no idea, if they'll be willing to go with me in the Monday....since they are doing it fo free... .

 

I'm really starting to go crazy here.

Edited May 11, 2017 by howard ashoul

[Panda13]

The tree that bends in the wind doesn't break. Maybe the universe is trying to tell you something and your not listening. Just sayin.

[colinneil]

Maybe you need to tone down your attitude, Thais do not like confrontation.

As the old saying goes !!slowly slowly catchy monkey.!!

I have been married here more than once, never had a problem in the Amphurs.

If you are serious about getting married here, go to an Amphur looking shy, lost, say please can you help me i am not sure what to do.

I have found that it works when dealing with local government officials, they like to think they are important, and asking/begging them to help will work 99% of the time.

Try it you night be surprised.

[happylarry]

Just to confirm that you are correct and the pre-nup does have to be registered at the marriage.

However, if you require any tips on where to go then it may be a good idea to say where you have been, are you in Bangkok, isaan, the south or where?

[howard ashoul]

22 minutes ago, happylarry said:

Just to confirm that you are correct and the pre-nup does have to be registered at the marriage.

However, if you require any tips on where to go then it may be a good idea to say where you have been, are you in Bangkok, isaan, the south or where?

I'm between Sakon Nakhon - Nakhon Phanom provinces.

[happylarry]

Out in the sticks then, that says a lot about it.....lol

why don't you consider having a day out in Bangkok, they are more used to farang there and you would have no trouble.

HL

[athousand]

Hi howard, I'm going to the Amphur on Monday to get married. 

 

Firstly, this forum and all others, have helpful and not so helpful members. Having been here for over three years, I'm still dismayed by the kind of posts that you've received.

 

The only thing I can suggest is to let that kind of thing wash off your back. 

 

My experience so far has been this : there is no way to predict how any Amphur will go, no matter what documents you have. When I was at the British Embassy, the lady working there told me that there is no way to know whether we only need the legalised Affidavit, or also a certified copy of our passport or a legalised copy of the passport!. She also said (and she was a Thai lady, very helpful and matter of fact), that some Amphurs have no clear lines -they will give different requirements on different days depending on their whim. 

 

While I was there, (I was there for two hours as I kept having to change my affidavit, because she explained that unless you get it word perfect, the amphur may reject it), there were several people who had come to change things because they had been rejected for minor details.

 

Before my appointment at the Embassy, after researching online, I'd believed that the whole process was simple. After my experience at the Embassy, I realised that it was not. Maybe it used to be, I don't know, but now it seems not. 

 

So I decided to pay for a servicen- in my case with one of the main translation compaines in Ploenchit. I've paid them  to accompany us, fill in the forms etc. They guarantee that everything will go smoothly. The price was 7,800. Feel free to message me and I can give you the details of the company. 

 

I'll post on Monday to see if their promises work out!

 

sorry to hear about your experiences so far. -!!! 

[RBOP]

Got married at Bangkok Amphere. Where both foreignors. Had all nessary docs from our embassies and official translations from foreign affairs on Changwattana. Brought 2 witneses but could have used anyone from the Amphere office was told for a fee. They also shoved our prenup into the folder.

[dotpoom]

On 11/05/2017 at 3:55 PM, colinneil said:

Maybe you need to tone down your attitude, Thais do not like confrontation.

As the old saying goes !!slowly slowly catchy monkey.!!

I have been married here more than once, never had a problem in the Amphurs.

If you are serious about getting married here, go to an Amphur looking shy, lost, say please can you help me i am not sure what to do.

I have found that it works when dealing with local government officials, they like to think they are important, and asking/begging them to help will work 99% of the time.

Try it you night be surprised.

I discovered many moons ago that what you say works.....I do it everywhere, at home too. People love to help a "lost" soul.

[williamgeorgeallen]

On 11/5/2560 at 8:16 PM, Panda13 said:

The tree that bends in the wind doesn't break. Maybe the universe is trying to tell you something and your not listening. Just sayin.

have to wonder why any man would want to get married especially in thailand.  thailand is a mans world, spouses cant take any of your stuff here as long as you dont marry them.

[Denim]

We also had problems at our local amper because the officials were unsure of the correct procedure where a foreigner is involved and were scared of getting it wrong and being held to account. So , even though our paperwork was in order they just started asking for irrelevant stuff until we gave up.

 

Then we did the sensible thing and went to Bangrak in Bangkok and were married within an our with two officials from said office acting as witnesses who we tipped a hundred baht each.

 

Bangrak is known for its was marriages both of Thais and foreigners. It's big business for them and everything runs smoothly.

[RichardColeman]

Bet they could recommend a good backhand agent to help you though.

[csabo]

30 minutes ago, RichardColeman said:

Bet they could recommend a good backhand agent to help you though.

Agreed. I find a good fast backhand usually gets things moving in my direction.

[grumbleweed]

 

Quote

It's impossible to get married here!!!

 

And long may it last

[oxo1947]

Take a brake in Pattaya Howard-----you dont even have to take your witnesses with you, the girls who work there will do it (for a small tip), I have even been to marriage there where both persons are not Thai citizens --try that in any other country.

.

Anyway there are added incentives ---marriage photos as you stroll down Soi 6 ---eating your wedding meal at the nearest balloon bar etc.......

[ardsong]

we had no  problems, what's so ever, but that was about 19 yrs back.

we had all paper work and approved and certified translations, ambassy stuff etc.

went 1300 hrs to the small amphur in changwat Rayong where we  lived at the time, and the lady did all the sweet talking.

the lady officer, let all thai wait and handled us first. 2 officers from the office were our witnesses.

after all paper was filled, we got a copy of the pages in the registration book and our certificates.

took about 1 hour only.

[sometimewoodworker]

My tip is to use Lak-Si Amper as they are close to the MOF, have done lots of foreign/Thai weddings (often several per day), have staff who can translate into English (a virtual necessity), have staff who will witness, understand what is needed, and are helpful 

[sawadee1947]

I don't know why you make it so difficult for yourself: Go to your embassy's website. They will give you all information what to do. And in BKK it's very easy. In Banrak office you are through within 20 minutes. They are familiar with farangs like you.

[billd766]

2 hours ago, williamgeorgeallen said:

have to wonder why any man would want to get married especially in thailand.  thailand is a mans world, spouses cant take any of your stuff here as long as you dont marry them.

 

Why wonder? Most of the 20 or engineers that I have worked with in Thailand married Thai ladies and only 3 have split up in a period of some 20 years. I celebrated my 17th wedding anniversary last month.

 

As for spouses here taking your stuff after you marry and then divorce, when I divorced in the uk in 1999 I walked away with my personal stuff and my pensions AND paid a fair some in alimony for years afterwards. Far more than anything it would cost me in Thailand.

 

I met my wife 7 years before we married and I love her as much now as I did when we first met 24 years ago this month when I was here on a 3 month job for the company I worked for.

[StevieAus]

1 hour ago, csabo said:

Agreed. I find a good fast backhand usually gets things moving in my direction.

Spot on I had similar problems obtaining a house book in my name from the local Amphur

On the third visit I told my wife to include " the brown envelope form"

The difficult female officer suddenly became a very friendly person and the process was streamlined she even gave me an ID card

As my wife was pregnant at the time she gave some very good unsolicited advice and forms for registering the baby as she was being born outside the area

I accept that one shouldn't have to pay but but if it reduces the stress and lowers the blood pressure

When needed I still follow the same practice and life is so simple

[williamgeorgeallen]

6 minutes ago, billd766 said:

 

Why wonder? Most of the 20 or engineers that I have worked with in Thailand married Thai ladies and only 3 have split up in a period of some 20 years. I celebrated my 17th wedding anniversary last month.

 

As for spouses here taking your stuff after you marry and then divorce, when I divorced in the uk in 1999 I walked away with my personal stuff and my pensions AND paid a fair some in alimony for years afterwards. Far more than anything it would cost me in Thailand.

 

I met my wife 7 years before we married and I love her as much now as I did when we first met 24 years ago this month when I was here on a 3 month job for the company I worked for.

yes well done. but why get married? i have asked many people this and i have never got a straight answer.

[connda]

On 5/11/2017 at 7:19 PM, happylarry said:

Out in the sticks then, that says a lot about it.....lol

why don't you consider having a day out in Bangkok, they are more used to farang there and you would have no trouble.

HL

I live out in the sticks in Northern Lamphun province.  I've never had a problem with the government offices here whether it was marriage, obtaining a house book, registering a usufruct contract, or registering other documents with the Amphur office.  It's not a rural vs city issue.  It's something else.

And why are you going to all these different Amphurs?  The marriage should be registered in the Amphur where your fiancee is registered in her housebook.  If your fiancee can't deal with the officials, hire a male lawyer to act as a mediator. You'll eventually get results.   And don't expect anything to happen quickly.  However, with that said, my wife registered our marriage 9 years ago at our Amphur in about 1 hour.  That was the easy part.  Getting all the necessary paperwork from Bangkok was the pain in the derriere. 

Edited May 13, 2017 by connda

[connda]

38 minutes ago, williamgeorgeallen said:

yes well done. but why get married? i have asked many people this and i have never got a straight answer.

I'll give you a straight answer:

 

There are legal, cultural. and societal advantages to getting married.  Conversely, there are legal, cultural. and societal disadvantages to doing so.  That's regardless of whether you marry here in Thailand, or marry in some Western country, or marry in Timbuktu.  
The choice to do so is a personal one that a person chooses to do after weighing the advantages and disadvantages.  Everyone is different.  Your criteria and my criteria in evaluating advantages vs disadvantages would probably be polar opposites.  Hence, I'm married and you're not.  
It really is that simple.

Edited May 13, 2017 by connda

[connda]

52 minutes ago, StevieAus said:

Spot on I had similar problems obtaining a house book in my name from the local Amphur

On the third visit I told my wife to include " the brown envelope form"

The difficult female officer suddenly became a very friendly person and the process was streamlined she even gave me an ID card

As my wife was pregnant at the time she gave some very good unsolicited advice and forms for registering the baby as she was being born outside the area

I accept that one shouldn't have to pay but but if it reduces the stress and lowers the blood pressure

When needed I still follow the same practice and life is so simple

Before I left the US, in the state where I had lived, when you went to obtain certain licenses from the state, you could choose to pay for 'expedited service.'  

For all the moralizing that is done regarding 'tea money' being right or wrong, at the end of the day what you are doing is paying for 'expedited service.'  
The only difference is whose pocket the money ends up in.  

[thaiguzzi]

1. Get it done in BKK. Cheaper, quicker, less headache.

2. Er, Monday, nobody's getting anything done - it's another bank holiday...

[jippytum]

I got married out in the sticks and it was the first time a foreign person had been married at the Amphur . Although i did not speak one word of Thai i  did manage to all the paperwork myself apart from the document translation .Every one was most helpful and a small 'gift' oiled the wheels . Can't imagine why you are having so much trouble perhaps the pre nub is scaring then off because they don't understand how to deal with it.

 

[jesimps]

I wish to register a complaint! My marriage in Sattahip went like clockwork, so I've been back in harness now for years.

 

Maybe your guardian angel's looking after you.

 

[Pinot]

It has always baffled me why anyone would buy a cow when he's getting all his milk for free...    ;  )

 

[billd766]

1 hour ago, williamgeorgeallen said:

yes well done. but why get married? i have asked many people this and i have never got a straight answer.

 

OK . Straight answer.

 

I love my wife and I wanted us to get married.

 

We were staying with friends at Wiesbaden in Germany at the time.

 

On 31st December 1999 I got down on one knee and asked her 2 questions.

 

1   Would she marry me? She said Yes.

 

2   Will you help me get up as knee has locked up on me? She said yes again and helped me up.

 

Straight answer.

 

As somebody's avatar says.

 

I can explain it to you. I can't understand it for you.

[SiamBeast]

The prenup doesn't need to be registered at the amphur anymore - when the amphur told me that, I called my lawyer in front of them, and the lawyer said that the officer was right, it is not necessary. However it needs to be signed by a notary and witnesses.

 

Your case is strange - I went to my local amphur with a legalized copy of my embassy's statement of non-impediment to marriage, my passport and proof of address, and my wife's ID card + house book. It took a total of 1 hour, with a brief interview in Thai. Her parents were the witnesses.

 

If you're running in some trouble, often a small bribe will do the trick - my friend got married recently and the officer told him that his statement of non-impediment was not correct. He gave 500 baht to the officer and all of a sudden, the document became correct. It sucks but sometimes the gears are out of oil.

 

If you're totally against bribing, you can have a lawyer perform the registration for you, but it isn't cheap.

 

My ex's mother is a government employee and she told me that often, amphur officers will "assess" the worthiness of the bride and make life harder if the bride is a broken girl, such as bar worker, single mom, married several times before, etc. That's how things work here, but nothing a small "tip" can't solve.