Things you don't do in Thailand because you know better

[williamgeorgeallen]

10 minutes ago, PeCeDe said:

The first point requires too much self control for a normal male. You may think you've learned but just wait... You'll see. 

i never made the mistake of getting romantically involved with a thai girl, i made the other 2 mistakes.

[csabo]

7 hours ago, 248900_1469958220 said:

Ask a Thai person for directions. 

Thread closed. You just won the internet for today.

[csabo]

...insert my penis in a man's anus no matter how good  "she" looks.

Edited July 15, 2017 by csabo

[LawrenceN]

7 hours ago, 55Jay said:

Wai to children, monks, and soi dogs. 

Monks? Why not? It's polite to wai monks, just that they don't return the wai. I would, however, expand this list to include most younger people and service staff, including bank tellers.

[SongSomSoda]

Better don't wai to anybody in Thailand as falang. I just say "Hello" i am german, not have to wai nobody. Herrenrasse :-P

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[Andrew Dwyer]

Never EVER call it a retirement visa !!!

( I did once but I think I got away with it [emoji51])

[chrisinth]

Never tell a Thai to hold your beer and then tell them to "Watch This".

 

This is one thing I have found to be equal from both sides..............................

[eeyang wah]

7 hours ago, luk AJ said:

If you are 99% sure they understood the message, focus on the 1%


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Gold.

[eeyang wah]

2 hours ago, csabo said:

9 hours ago, 248900_1469958220 said:

Ask a Thai person for directions. 

Thread closed. You just won the internet for today.

That is a good one but I'm not sure it's a winner. How about joint first place with Luk AJ: "If you are 99% sure they understood the message, focus on the 1%"

[Timemaster]

Never tell a Thai person there wrong or doing something the wrong way.  Even if you’re right, you’ll be wrong because you’re not Thai.

[juice777]

Don't Assume the bum is working before you use the toilet

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[hanbla]

-Don't argue with Thai people.

-Don't show the finger to anyone in traffic don't honk. (I knew it for long time, but had to to it today. Unfortunately. The idiot then stopped the car and blocked me and other traffic. Wife was afraid he should come to us with a gun, but I managed to drive away)

-Don't trust anyone.

-Don't expect a thank you when you help the family.

-Don't be upset when your wife'so parents have millions in their bankaccounts. And land worth more, but you thought they were very poor and paid for the renovation of their house.

Don't believe in everything you hear.

 

 

 

[DavisH]

Don't waste time asking "why"....because most don't know.

[Tofer]

11 hours ago, oldhippy said:

Don't  ask the police for help - or any official.

 

On our first trip to Europe, one day we could not find our hotel. I said to my wife "I will go and ask that policeman over there".

My wife just about freaked out....

 

Sad attitude! We asked a policeman for directions when lost in Bangkok, got a personal police escort right to the place we needed.

 

Also asked a policeman for recommendations for a hotel in Chumpon when arrived late from Bangkok, got taken to police station to speak to an English speaking officer who then instructed the original plod to take me to X, and recommended somewhere for dinner where I got dragged into a large party of Thais who wouldn't let me contribute to the bill.

 

Don't listen to disgruntled farang who assume they are all just targets, if you want to enjoy the experience of living in LOS and the genuine Thai people.

[Tofer]

Procrastinate - life's too short!

 

Listen to all this drivel - unless you are incapable applying common sense and making your own decisions...

[swissie]

Let's go easy on this "waying-business".

 

As a newbie, I thought it would make my dealings with immigration easier, if I would "Way" a lot. Not only did I shower the Immi-Officers with plenty of "Way's", I also Wayed the plants and the water-dispenser in the Immi-Office.

Well, it didn't facilitate my dealings with Immigration, but left me regularily with a serious case of LUMBEGO.

My chiropracter was always able to cure me.....about 2 weeks before my next appointment at Immigration. Uhhh....rinse and repeat.

No wonder, I Way very little these days. A simple Hello or Sawasdee-Khrap (crap?) will do just fine. Also, as a nice "side-effect": Sex is better without suffering from LUMBAGO.
Cheers.

[473geo]

12 minutes ago, swissie said:

Let's go easy on this "waying-business".

 

As a newbie, I thought it would make my dealings with immigration easier, if I would "Way" a lot. Not only did I shower the Immi-Officers with plenty of "Way's", I also Wayed the plants and the water-dispenser in the Immi-Office.

Well, it didn't facilitate my dealings with Immigration, but left me regularily with a serious case of LUMBEGO.

My chiropracter was always able to cure me.....about 2 weeks before my next appointment at Immigration. Uhhh....rinse and repeat.

No wonder, I Way very little these days. A simple Hello or Sawasdee-Khrap (crap?) will do just fine. Also, as a nice "side-effect": Sex is better without suffering from LUMBAGO.
Cheers.

I guess you just kinda lost your Way

 

Sorry I understand English is not your first language

[oldhippy]

1 hour ago, 473geo said:

I guess you just kinda lost your Way

 

Sorry I understand English is not your first language

My way or the high way.

[oldhippy]

Never criticize Thai bashers, apologists and other extremists, never make fun of Guardians with no sense of humour.

OK, I will start to pack for my next holiday.

[likeke]

Get serious with a bar girl. And worse yet, marry one or get one pregnant. 

[joecoolfrog]

14 hours ago, kurtmartens said:

Don't .... believe half the things you read on here as fact.  Most of the time its just opinions from bitter expats.

Noted and filed under the 50% of things I shouldn't believe.

[tryasimight]

Take your zimmer frame to the beach

[tryasimight]

8 hours ago, juice777 said:

Don't Assume the bum is working before you use the toilet

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??????? Better to be on the toilet than standing outside - only to find your bum is working. Could be a very unpleasant experience!

[tryasimight]

14 hours ago, pumpjack said:

1.  dont for any reason get into a fight with a thai, walk away even if you are in the right .

2.  never take a smile as they like you or even being friendly to you,  see past " the thai smile "

3. never borrow money to a thai, you will never see it again. 

4. stop following my dream of owning a bar or business in thailand,    your doomed to failure from the start.

5. dont believe anyone farang or thai

6. never wear shorts or inappropriate dress in a bank or office

7. smile and keep walking with head down past ladyboys on nana

8. dont leave food out anywhere, rats everywhere

9. dont drink & drive in pattaya or isaan , roadblocks everywhere and you will be caught

10. dont go past the three day rule .

Three day rule??

Shower? Shave?

[SongSomSoda]

Three day rule??
Shower? Shave?

Change ladys every three days.

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[bill59]

Drive - never ever ever!


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[Tapster]

Thanks to everyone, this is a very useful thread, full of some of the deeper truths about Thailand. 

 

My 'never' is....... 

 

Never wait until the end of a tradesman's job to point out what you have found wrong with it. Always monitor the progress and micromanage as necessary. 

 

Before I realised this rule, a painter drew a knife on me when I asked him to redo some areas after he thought he'd finished. 

 

 

[sammieuk1]

Don't assume the pound has value

[drgoon]

20 hours ago, 55Jay said:

Wai to children, monks, and soi dogs. 

555 soi dogs....  555

[Naamblar2014]

Roll cigarettes by hand