Thai wife false accusations. Trouble ahead?

[smotherb]

7 hours ago, bberrythailand said:

 

But for most it might be difficult to find a good one in a bar...

 

 

 

Yeah, that is a problem in the majority of farang-local marriage hassles I have seen. Not that it is impossible to find a good woman in a bar; but it isn't common and as the years go by fewer good parts remain. 

[benalibina]

17 hours ago, Baerboxer said:

 

I sympathize about your children . My experiences is that Thai women, what ever their background, can be very control minded, self centered and will use bullying and any kind of emotional blackmail to try and get their own way. This can be bouts of sulking, sourness, spitefulness, silence or become more aggressive dependent on the situation context. If they feel threatened i.e. they are losing control, or will loose something because you will take it away then they can indeed turn extreme and even violent.

 

It's a shorter fuse here than many are used to from their own country; added to the vast importance of face; the propensity for lies and the non importance of truth, and the "can't ever do or be wrong" mentality it's a volatile mixture.

 

Threats are often hollow but can gain substance if the person making them perceives control is slipping or doesn't like the way things are going.

 

Just my experience, but over a lengthy period and with Thais married to a variety of nationalities. 

Yes what you wrote above Is exactly like how the mother of my children Is. Add Jealousy to It all and you get a possible very dangerous cocktail. Have seen It go from vbad to worse? At the moment the situation according to her Is that my children dont want to have anything to do with me, dont want birthdayopresents from me and lastly I never have to come back anymore and I can die here. 

 

Pity  my 3 young Innocent kids for who the present situation Is the norm. Thanks to brainwashing and manipulation.

[thehelmsman]

One of the main reasons for having car or truck in your name, at least a motorbike. Can you imagine living in the sticks, I mean rice paddy is your back yard sticks, the ole lady pulls some dumb shit and you have no way to get out, no means of transportation that is legally yours.

 

To the OP, get the F### out and never look back. Good luck.

[transam]

9 hours ago, smotherb said:

Well, isn't that an open-minded response. So sorry that civility between separating spouses is so foreign to you.

 

Yes, I would say we did make mistakes, but in both cases we handled it like adults and got an amicable divorce.  My wife and I are still friends with both my ex-wives. No hatred, no malice, no trying to hurt the other; gee go figure.

You are the one that stated about folk making the wrong choice yet you obviously did as you have been divorced, to me that was a daft comment cos if you were that perfect with your choice you would not be divorced.

Nobody on this planet really knows if they have made the right choice because we all change with age, some for the good and some not so good..Only time will tell..

[daphnia88]

Welcome to the reality of being with a Thai girl. How you people put up with it is beyond me

[1FinickyOne]

3 minutes ago, daphnia88 said:

Welcome to the reality of being with a Thai girl. How you people put up with it is beyond me

Small sample size but from my own experience, I know more people happy with their Thai wives than with their Western wives... but I guess if you have trouble putting up with things, you are going to have problems as there are bound to be cultural and language issues here for you... 

[daphnia88]

Just now, kenk24 said:

Small sample size but from my own experience, I know more people happy with their Thai wives than with their Western wives... but I guess if you have trouble putting up with things, you are going to have problems as there are bound to be cultural and language issues here for you... 

Sure... because those people are willing to lower their standards and give the lil missus everything they want... Those people no longer have standards when it comes to thai women. They don't even have to be intelligent... Whereas with western women... the standards are high. Western women have to be smart, educated, independent.... Thais? No need to be independent... I'l "take care"..... kind of hypocritical. Having no standards means you get the kind of individuals OP is asking about.

[1FinickyOne]

The OP made a mistake and would be the first to admit it - - sometimes it can be a matter of what you base your standards on and what you want in a wife... there can be different sets of values as per the individuals involved. My wife is very independent and I see the same with many of my friends - my wife values highly things like taking care of her parent's and family, which I totally respect... you can be smart and not formally educated. You can also be kind and happy and these are things that I and many others here value in a wife... 

[thehelmsman]

Me, I value iced Leo and big tits. But, that's just me.

[colinneil]

7 minutes ago, thehelmsman said:

Me, I value iced Leo and big tits. But, that's just me.

Leo ok, but big t+ts?

Your in the wrong country if thats what you like.

[thehelmsman]

6 minutes ago, colinneil said:

Leo ok, but big t+ts?

Your in the wrong country if thats what you like.

nah, I'm a fan of iced beer but more than a mouthful is a waste and hard to come by.

[transam]

29 minutes ago, thehelmsman said:

Me, I value iced Leo and big tits. But, that's just me.

I am all for the latter....

[transam]

59 minutes ago, daphnia88 said:

Sure... because those people are willing to lower their standards and give the lil missus everything they want... Those people no longer have standards when it comes to thai women. They don't even have to be intelligent... Whereas with western women... the standards are high. Western women have to be smart, educated, independent.... Thais? No need to be independent... I'l "take care"..... kind of hypocritical. Having no standards means you get the kind of individuals OP is asking about.

What a load of crap......

[daphnia88]

1 minute ago, transam said:

What a load of crap......

what a great argument

[transam]

Just now, daphnia88 said:

what a great argument

Nothing to argue about....

[smotherb]

2 hours ago, transam said:

You are the one that stated about folk making the wrong choice yet you obviously did as you have been divorced, to me that was a daft comment cos if you were that perfect with your choice you would not be divorced.

Nobody on this planet really knows if they have made the right choice because we all change with age, some for the good and some not so good..Only time will tell..

Well, it appears you have trouble focusing on the issue.

 

I was discussing being in a relationship with loonie partners and said you really need to get to know them better first. Then you started with I had no experience with divorce. Which I do, but I did not claim to be perfect--even said we had made mistakes, but no one went loonie. The fact that people change their minds is not the problem, being loonie and creating hate and discontent for the person with whom you supposedly have a relationship is the problem. So quite frankly, I think your comments are less than valid, even naively weak.

 

 

[BEVUP]

3 minutes ago, transam said:

What a load of crap......

Agree, it's not about education as as i know people who are Managers/Supervisors & Ect that didn't even get the first High school Cert in the west

& as for being smart the Thais are in their own way, which would of led them to be Independant long before we came along

Now the OP' I think people know of my problems which I'm doing something about - But if I was getting threatened/accused & abused there would be nothing to sort out as I would be out the gate (money a different story ) you can always spend a little more to resolve or remove the problem

& I would not let a child be used as a pawn would always support them (this is where it's very difficult for an individual )

 

[daphnia88]

11 minutes ago, transam said:

Nothing to argue about....

so goodbye.

[transam]

1 minute ago, BEVUP said:

Agree, it's not about education as as i know people who are Managers/Supervisors & Ect that didn't even get the first High school Cert in the west

& as for being smart the Thais are in their own way, which would of led them to be Independant long before we came along

Now the OP' I think people know of my problems which I'm doing something about - But if I was getting threatened/accused & abused there would be nothing to sort out as I would be out the gate (money a different story ) you can always spend a little more to resolve or remove the problem

& I would not let a child be used as a pawn would always support them (this is where it's very difficult for an individual )

 

My weeee story from farangland. I was with my UK ex for 24 years, 23 were near heaven, the last year was something l still do not understand..

 

Anyhoooo, she was served with a Penal Notice for telling lies in court about myself..

 

Did I make the right choice way back when, yes I did, a great 23 years and then something out of my control perhaps because many folk change, perhaps I did, I don't know, but for sure she did big time...

 

 

[roo860]

3 hours ago, daphnia88 said:

Sure... because those people are willing to lower their standards and give the lil missus everything they want... Those people no longer have standards when it comes to thai women. They don't even have to be intelligent... Whereas with western women... the standards are high. Western women have to be smart, educated, independent.... Thais? No need to be independent... I'l "take care"..... kind of hypocritical. Having no standards means you get the kind of individuals OP is asking about.

 

'Having no standards ', rather a sweeping statement. As for the thing about 'educated, might be ok if you fancy <removed> Stephen Hawking!

Sent from my SM-G920F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
 

 

[daphnia88]

24 minutes ago, roo860 said:

 

'Having no standards ', rather a sweeping statement. As for the thing about 'educated, might be ok if you fancy <removed> Stephen Hawking!

Sent from my SM-G920F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
 

 

Hey the person I'm <removed> doesn't have to be a rocket scientist or an astrophysicist, but I definitely am not <removed> an old redneck who can't hold up a conversation... But then I don't have a penis so I don't think using it. 

[roo860]

Hey the person I'm doesn't have to be a rocket scientist or an astrophysicist, but I definitely am not an old redneck who can't hold up a conversation... But then I don't have a penis so I don't think using it. 

You were speaking about the standard of the ladies were you not?

Sent from my SM-G920F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[daphnia88]

46 minutes ago, roo860 said:

 

You were speaking about the standard of the ladies were you not?

Sent from my SM-G920F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
 

 

I was.... until you started talking about stephen hawking. So now I'm talking about the standards in people you *beep*

[roo860]

I was.... until you started talking about stephen hawking. So now I'm talking about the standards in people you *beep*

 

Please do not call me a 'beep' you 'deleted.'

[emoji16]

 

 

Sent from my SM-G920F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

 

 

 

 

 

[mikiea]

On 7/26/2017 at 11:21 AM, sawadeeken said:

Yes........... The 'new man' you mention is such a 'high probability'.........

And the gold missing when returning home may very well have been done before leaving on that trip by the wife without his knowledge.........

wish em all well

[The Dark Lord]

On 26/07/2017 at 11:35 PM, benalibina said:

Yes what you wrote above Is exactly like how the mother of my children Is. Add Jealousy to It all and you get a possible very dangerous cocktail. Have seen It go from vbad to worse? At the moment the situation according to her Is that my children dont want to have anything to do with me, dont want birthdayopresents from me and lastly I never have to come back anymore and I can die here. 

 

Pity  my 3 young Innocent kids for who the present situation Is the norm. Thanks to brainwashing and manipulation.

Guys, having just gone through a similar scenario out there and  being helped by some very kind and caring guys on TVF and by my relatives back here I sympathise with your predicament. 

 

I am probably the the worst one to offer guidance underl these horrid circumstances but what I can tell you is that you are not alone. 

 

I had had a fantastic group of posters give me some moral support that probably retained my sanity whilst I was trying to get out of LoS with my life intact. I can never thank them enough. 

 

It was only only when I got back to the UK in a normal but supportive environment that I realised how badly I had been psychologically damaged by the constant abuse. 

 

Dont leave it too oing my friend, no matter how strong your heart is, eventually you get dehumanised out there.

 

flame me, slam Mei p, I don't care any more but that is nothing but the truth. 

[The Dark Lord]

On 26/07/2017 at 7:25 AM, smotherb said:

I am saying you are the fool if you do not get to know someone very well before you enter a relationship with them. Look at all the sad stories of farangs with local wives--most of the women and the men have changed only in looks. Yes, I too know divorce, been divorced twice, still friends with both of them. We divorced because our ideas for the future changed, not because they turned out to be loonies.  You need to be smarter than the problem, if you are not, then there you are.

Have you ever considered the effect that the menopause has on some women? A doctor ( female) and Thai) described it as hormone induced psychosis. 

 

Add to that the belief that the foreigner knows nothing and the lack of lack of education surrounding such an ailment and you have a very volatile situation brewing.

 

Trust me, I know! 

[smotherb]

9 hours ago, The Dark Lord said:

Have you ever considered the effect that the menopause has on some women? A doctor ( female) and Thai) described it as hormone induced psychosis. 

 

Add to that the belief that the foreigner knows nothing and the lack of lack of education surrounding such an ailment and you have a very volatile situation brewing.

 

Trust me, I know! 

Again, if you have a wife who is so uninformed as to believe a foreigner, especially her husband, knows absolutely nothing; then, I suspect your wife does not care for you.

 

If she is that uneducated, well, why? Sounds like you have not been a very good husband.

 

As far as menopause, yes, my wife has gone through menopause; sure, she had drastic mood swings, depression, hot flashed, sleep problems,  etc. Sure, it was difficult living with it and living with her, but I did everything I could to make her comfortable and happy because I love her. Fortunately, she is back to feeling well and living life with me.

 

I suggest if your wife is going through menopause and if you love her, educate her, support her in her time of need and your love will grow.

[transam]

9 minutes ago, smotherb said:

Again, if you have a wife who is so uninformed as to believe a foreigner, especially her husband, knows absolutely nothing; then, I suspect your wife does not care for you.

 

If she is that uneducated, well, why? Sounds like you have not been a very good husband.

 

As far as menopause, yes, my wife has gone through menopause; sure, she had drastic mood swings, depression, hot flashed, sleep problems,  etc. Sure, it was difficult living with it and living with her, but I did everything I could to make her comfortable and happy because I love her. Fortunately, she is back to feeling well and living life with me.

 

I suggest if your wife is going through menopause and if you love her, educate her, support her in her time of need and your love will grow.

I should have got my ex UK wife of 20 odd years to contact you for a consultation...She would laugh at you...For SURE......

[smotherb]

4 minutes ago, transam said:

I should have got my ex UK wife of 20 odd years to contact you for a consultation...She would laugh at you...For SURE......

I do not deal with loonies and I am not suggesting I can help any woman through menopause.

 

I think the woman needs to love you and needs to believe you love her.

 

So, an introduction to you ex-wife seems rather futile.