Honest Thais

[Tofer]

I see a lot of negativity and 'Thai bashing' on this forum in respect of Thais honesty and ethics and would like to get a more balanced view from the members who have had good experiences.

 

My contribution is that prior to returning to live in Thailand a friend of my wifes (Thai) offered to lend us her car after we sold ours for our last week in the UK. I parked it against a high curb and pulled the low sporty valance off the front and cracked it in the process. Feeling very bad about this, I showed her the damage and told her to get it fixed and send us the bill. She burst out laughing and declared that it was already broken and was not of my doing and to forget about it.

 

Another event that sticks in my memory was a liquor shop owner that supplied our restaurant in Phuket who, when asked to take back excess stock I'd purchased when we closed down, refused to accept my request for a refund of 50% of it's purchase price, he instead insisted on refunding me 90% of the original cost. We also had local businesses buy furniture, crockery, cutlery, glassware fridges, cars, etc without negotiation. One local establishment said they would buy all my surplus beer as the suppliers would never consider its return, when we came to reckon up he was counting every last bottle, I told him to just pay me for the full unopened boxes but he insisted on paying for every bottle. Pure integrity and thoughtful consideration of our plight! All this was a consequence of the one a...hole who was screwing us out of our business, which brought out a dozen decent Thais in support. A heartwarming balance of good against evil...

 

Please, no comments about vultures hovering over a distressed seller, as everyone of them paid more than I would have accepted.

 

I personally have had poorer experiences with the farang husbands of some of the Thai ladies I met in UK through my wife's circle of friends and some of the farang I've come across in Thailand than the Thais themselves....

 

 

[Here It Is]

My Thai wife hasn't got a bad bone in her body and wouldn't expect that anyone has a bad word to say about her, if they're honest.  Married seven years and trust her implicitly.  We live in the UK and my wife's a British citizen, which is great as we can do what we like and go where we like.  

[drayger]

Been with my Thai wife 18 years when we first met was told all the horror stories and told I was a fool and it wouldn't last, I trust her with all the money as she spends less than I do on running a home, alot of the comments I hear and read does make me wonder why they bother to continue living in Thailand

[Caps]

Been with my Partner 2.5 years, while I was out of work she had a job and contributed all the time as all we had was my military pension.  She has never wasted money and is always the one that says "its too expensive".  I am back working now on a good wage and she still wont spend it unless she really needs to.  She is trustworthy and is great company whether sitting at home or out and about.  Very Happy 

[observer90210]

The OP case history is fine and nice to read.

 

Others would have stories of workers comming in at their villas, homes, condos to do jobs and instantly overcharging....Same for many home fitting outlets, taxi drivers and the list can get real long.

 

In many cases, the Thai merchants/contractors/service providers/ will go out of their way to try to cheat and ripoff farangs...not that one would generalize this to all Thais, of course not!!!....but human nature will take over if you just get ripped off or cheated by a Thai business on a weekly basis!

 

Edited August 6, 2017 by observer90210

[A1Str8]

Yeah it's simple. There are dishonest, disgusting individuals and there are honest, beautiful people everywhere regardless of nationality, religion, skin color etc. Wherever you go, you will meet those, will be in relationship with those and be surrounded by those that are just like you. The world is just reflecting who you are. 

[inThailand]

And would you say there are more honest moral people in LOS than you home country?

[The Dark Lord]

I have met both the good and the bad but what has always amazed ( and upset) me is the lack of empathy or sorrow once caught with their fingers in the cookie jar. Several times it got the distinct impression that they were trying to somehow lay the blame on me for them not repaying or stealing the car or whatever. 

 

I could give stories of both of both types but I am sure most have encountered them in daily life.

 

i do take offence at the poster who intimated that you get what you deserve ( meet people like you)  and I call that utter nonsense. I have been nothing but supportive to my wife's kids, never been in anyway dishonest. Paid the vast majority of the cost of the sons new house which I discovered had been completed but he, his rotten wife and their spawn preferred to stay at our house and make zero contribution to any of the costs (age mid 30's) and allowed their spawn to damage virtually everything they touched.

 

so i requested that hat they move into the house that I had financed and immediately I was hated. I was told it was too far from work ( 20 km) so too tired to drive home at night.

 

a couple of months later I discovered that in a pique of hatred towards the farang he had taken out a loan against the car I bought new three years ago in order to buy them a new car themselves. Now refusing to repay that loan and I am pretty sure the repo or loan sharks will be circling shortly. 

 

I am am no longer there as it was all too much for me but I have advised the wife to drive it to a piece of waste land and burn the <deleted> thing. Then let's see who is in the cackar. 

 

Lying does come easily to the Thais in my experience  not always with malicious intent but lying is still lying. 

 

Pretty sure the apologists will have something to say but frankly there is little they can say to piss me off now. I left and those who delude themselves by making excuses for every fault they encounter will one day wake up. 

[473geo]

48 minutes ago, A1Str8 said:

Yeah it's simple. There are dishonest, disgusting individuals and there are honest, beautiful people everywhere regardless of nationality, religion, skin color etc. Wherever you go, you will meet those, will be in relationship with those and be surrounded by those that are just like you. The world is just reflecting who you are. 

I would like to think that people get what they 'deserve' in this life but sadly your observation is offline with reality

For me I believe every person will carry different values - it's known as the 'tipping point'

[observer90210]

59 minutes ago, A1Str8 said:

Yeah it's simple. There are dishonest, disgusting individuals and there are honest, beautiful people everywhere regardless of nationality, religion, skin color etc. Wherever you go, you will meet those, will be in relationship with those and be surrounded by those that are just like you. The world is just reflecting who you are. 

A wise statement.

 

But unfortunately sometimes and this is absolutely not something empirical, but very often the good people seem to attract those with toxic behavioural patterns, as prey!!

 

 

[gtheys]

It's not good to be gullible and trust people that you don't know too quickly. If I don't like people I don't support them, one trace of dishonesty and their out.

I act the same in which ever country I live. <deleted> live everywhere and good people live everywhere. But I will never let it make me a cynical bastard. Live is too short for that.

Sent from my SM-N900 using Tapatalk

[Tofer]

6 hours ago, inThailand said:

And would you say there are more honest moral people in LOS than you home country?

I feel I could certainly say there are no less.

 

I've got scars on my face from arrogant belligerent criminals who didn't like being told off for abusing my property and insulting my Thai wife in UK 

 

I had thieves visiting my building sites on a regular basis in UK, not to date in Thailand 6 months into the project.

 

75% of our tenants in UK leave a mess, damage and in some cases unpaid rent, and then argue it's ok or wear and tear when we get to court. I did hear of a similar incident in a neighbouring property to our temporary home, he was a farang....

Edited August 7, 2017 by Tofer

[Tofer]

7 hours ago, observer90210 said:

The OP case history is fine and nice to read.

 

Others would have stories of workers comming in at their villas, homes, condos to do jobs and instantly overcharging....Same for many home fitting outlets, taxi drivers and the list can get real long.

 

In many cases, the Thai merchants/contractors/service providers/ will go out of their way to try to cheat and ripoff farangs...not that one would generalize this to all Thais, of course not!!!....but human nature will take over if you just get ripped off or cheated by a Thai business on a weekly basis!

 

And you don't in your home country in similar circumstances. As you sat it's human nature - not just Thai nature!

[Tofer]

10 hours ago, Here It Is said:

My Thai wife hasn't got a bad bone in her body and wouldn't expect that anyone has a bad word to say about her, if they're honest.  Married seven years and trust her implicitly.  We live in the UK and my wife's a British citizen, which is great as we can do what we like and go where we like.  

Likewise, great to hear you're happy with your lot. 

 

I've known my Thai wife 33 years and been married 22 years and can honestly say she's worked harder than anyone I've ever known, watched the purse strings better than I would, looks after me like a Prince, cares more about my happiness than her own and is as honest as the day is long.

 

I divorced my first British wife after only 2 years!

Edited August 7, 2017 by Tofer
Added info

[abrahamzvi]

8 hours ago, drayger said:

Been with my Thai wife 18 years when we first met was told all the horror stories and told I was a fool and it wouldn't last, I trust her with all the money as she spends less than I do on running a home, alot of the comments I hear and read does make me wonder why they bother to continue living in Thailand

Join the club. I have been married to a Thai lady for more than 25 years and can confirm that one could not have a better, more honest and running a well managed home than my loving wife. Financially we wouldn't be where we are today, without her careful attitude to spending. All I can say here is many thanks to her for wonderful years  and God bless her

[Dan5]

I'm from the USA. Lived in Thailand for many years, have many good Thai friends, meet a lot of Thais through my Thai friends, go to a lot of Thai parties. As far as I can tell Thais are very bit as honest as Americans if not more so.

 

But there are just a lot of Thai bashers on this forum. I assume its just because they like to feel superior to Thais.

[tonray]

7 hours ago, inThailand said:

And would you say there are more honest moral people in LOS than you home country?

Hard to compare 1 to 1 because mores are different in a different culture. For example, most people would be appalled if they started selling government lottery tickets at St Patrick's Cathedral but here in Thailand, lottery vendors contribute to get coveted lucky spots inside Temples.

 

I would say as far as honesty it is about the same as in the USA but again different rules make it hard to judge what we consider honest or not.

[Dan5]

1 minute ago, tonray said:

Hard to compare 1 to 1 because mores are different in a different culture. For example, most people would be appalled if they started selling government lottery tickets at St Patrick's Cathedral but here in Thailand, lottery vendors contribute to get coveted lucky spots inside Temples.

 

I would say as far as honesty it is about the same as in the USA but again different rules make it hard to judge what we consider honest or not.

Definitely a different culture. My Thai friends certainly seem to enjoy life more than Americans and most of them don't make much money. I could go on and on about the culture, but that's not the topic.

[1FinickyOne]

I think that part of the issue has to do with location... I live in the countryside and find people kind, honest and generally fair and decent... I share with my wife, she shares with her family who share our compound... Those who accept and want a family, want to share with their family and want to see them have a good life too..

 

However, it is not difficult to imagine an environment that is greedier and more confrontational in those known tourist areas. Thais leave home to work there in hopes of making more money... 

 

All of the expats in my area have good sharing relationships with their Thai spouses. From what I read here, some expats have relationships that are closer to salaried positions and pay for play relations - in those instances, I would imagine a frequent conflict over funds or services creating bad feelings. 

 

But, yes, I have been here many years, speak the language and have had so many good experiences with Thai who have been very fair and even stepped in when they thought others were overstepping bounds with me. All good here. 

[Grusa]

8 hours ago, A1Str8 said:

Yeah it's simple. There are dishonest, disgusting individuals and there are honest, beautiful people everywhere regardless of nationality, religion, skin color etc. Wherever you go, you will meet those, will be in relationship with those and be surrounded by those that are just like you. The world is just reflecting who you are. 

When you walk on the street, do you notice the clean paving slabs, or do you notice the chewing gum, the dog shit, and the broken slabs?

when you read the newspaper, do you read about a kind old lady who gave sixpence to a beggar, or about a monk who kicked him to death?

when you drive, do you notice the well behaved citizen who drives in a straight line, in the correct lane, at a steady speed, or do you notice the a....hole who weaves in and out causing danger to everyone?

Do you notice the bikers whose machine is standard from the shop, or the antisocial cretins with noisy souped-up exhausts, racing at 3am?

 

Sad truth, we only notice and remember the bad things in this world, we quickly forget the good. The only things that sell newspapers and TV are sex, violence, stupidity, and war. Anything else in there is just padding!

 

Thailand is the same as anywhere else, only two things float to the top. Sadly Thai society has rhe same problem as Pattaya Bay, there's an awful lot of turds have surfaced!

[smileydude]

Here's my take on honesty that I think applies worldwide.  The majority of hardworking people who built up a small business by themselves are honest. 

Many of the experiences you mentioned seemed to be from dealing with these kind of people.

If the business has to do with tourists or targeting foreigners then shady figures start to get involved thus the cynicism you often see here.  We're talking jet ski operators, parasailing, banana boats, beach chairs, those 0 baht Chinese tour operators and gold diggers to round it off.

 

Dishonest people exist in all socioeconomic levels.  From CEO's who have only profits in mind all the way down to wandering gypsies.

Some people are corrupt at systemic levels while others just do it case by case.  

 

There was some research done recently on the corruptibility of people and it went like this:  A group of students were assigned to find spelling mistakes in some research papers.  Each mistake found was rewarded 5 baht per word.   They were separated into 2 groups.  Group 1 was allowed to report the mistakes and claim the money directly without having to go through an approval process.  Group 2 was required to have each mistake found checked and reimbursement rewards checked by someone.  The mistakes on each paper were actually controlled to 10 each.  Results?   Group 1 found on average 12-15 mistakes per paper.  Group 2 found 10.

 

The results seem to indicate that by nature people will be dishonest if there is an opportunity to do so and not be caught.

I personally believe honesty is something that was ingrained into us when we were growing up, either by our parents, teachers, religion or societal values and norms of where you grew up.

 

Edited August 7, 2017 by smileydude

[wildewillie89]

Move in legit circles where people actually care for you as a human and people will see why Thai are famous for how nice and generous they are. The problem is, it seems, that many on the forum have married into people equivalent of their grandchildren and then wonder why it is not based on care/honesty. 

I would agree it is more farang husbands who are a little more dodgy in Thai (and back home), especially with business ventures. Met a few when first moved here who I instantly saw were incredibly selfish and the type to say anything to make a living off the poor. Whether they were involved in hospitality, dog breeding or even just lying about their level of education to trick Thai people into using their services.

[Tchooptip]

7 hours ago, observer90210 said:

A wise statement.

 

But unfortunately sometimes and this is absolutely not something empirical, but very often the good people seem to attract those with toxic behavioural patterns, as prey!!

 

 

 

"but very often the good people seem to attract those with toxic behavioural patterns, as prey!!"

unfortunately or sadly...This is probably right

[robblok]

8 hours ago, The Dark Lord said:

I have met both the good and the bad but what has always amazed ( and upset) me is the lack of empathy or sorrow once caught with their fingers in the cookie jar. Several times it got the distinct impression that they were trying to somehow lay the blame on me for them not repaying or stealing the car or whatever. 

 

I could give stories of both of both types but I am sure most have encountered them in daily life.

 

i do take offence at the poster who intimated that you get what you deserve ( meet people like you)  and I call that utter nonsense. I have been nothing but supportive to my wife's kids, never been in anyway dishonest. Paid the vast majority of the cost of the sons new house which I discovered had been completed but he, his rotten wife and their spawn preferred to stay at our house and make zero contribution to any of the costs (age mid 30's) and allowed their spawn to damage virtually everything they touched.

 

so i requested that hat they move into the house that I had financed and immediately I was hated. I was told it was too far from work ( 20 km) so too tired to drive home at night.

 

a couple of months later I discovered that in a pique of hatred towards the farang he had taken out a loan against the car I bought new three years ago in order to buy them a new car themselves. Now refusing to repay that loan and I am pretty sure the repo or loan sharks will be circling shortly. 

 

I am am no longer there as it was all too much for me but I have advised the wife to drive it to a piece of waste land and burn the <deleted> thing. Then let's see who is in the cackar. 

 

Lying does come easily to the Thais in my experience  not always with malicious intent but lying is still lying. 

 

Pretty sure the apologists will have something to say but frankly there is little they can say to piss me off now. I left and those who delude themselves by making excuses for every fault they encounter will one day wake up. 

It really just depends who you meet.. my first Thai wife ... total disaster. Cheated on me stole money ect. (this was in the Netherlands). Next one in Thailand worked hard shielded me from her family (they had funny ideas about making money and needed investments but those ideas would never work). In the end we broke up because she wanted kids and I did not (had always told her that). We are still friends, and money wise she could have taken the house, did not.. only thing she wanted was the money she put in. It really depends who you meet and you live and learn. I always go for woman that have their own job and are financially independent, I don't give salaries, in my view that is just a foolish thing to do. If they have their own job then at least they stay with you because of you.. if you give them money... maybe they stay for the money and feel your an easy target.. and more problems will happen. 

 

Just takes longer to find the right kind.. and to find a woman like that that is also really beautiful is real hard. so usually they are more normal looking. Many guys just want a brainless sexy woman.. not me. These real pretty ones usually know how to exploit their looks. 

[KittenKong]

42 minutes ago, Grusa said:

when you drive, do you notice the well behaved citizen who drives in a straight line, in the correct lane, at a steady speed,

 

I certainly notice him. Why? Because he's the only one who does.

[neeray]

Tofer, well said. It made for a nice read. 

[transam]

OP, there are horror stories in LOS but no different to the same stuff in farangland. Just the luck of the draw wherever you reside...

[hobz]

I have forgotten keys, wallets, phones countless times to have thai people return them to me when i came back looking.

 

I have forgotten to take my change when buying stuff countless times only to have them yell "mister!! U forgot change!!" Hehe.

 

I think vast majority of thais are honest.

Not sure if its differen if you live in certain tourist areas where the locals are tired of westernes misbehaving... Bet its mostly honest there too...

 

 

[Ron19]

A two troll posts and a reply have been removed.

 

9) You will not post inflammatory messages on the forum, or attempt to disrupt discussions to upset its participants, or trolling. Trolling can be defined as the act of purposefully antagonizing other people on the internet by posting controversial, inflammatory, irrelevant or off-topic messages with the primary intent of provoking other users into an emotional response or to generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion.

 

11) You will not post slurs, degrading or overly negative comments directed towards Thailand, specific locations, Thai institutions such as the judicial or law enforcement system, Thai culture, Thai people or any other group on the basis of race, nationality, religion, gender or sexual orientation.

[zzidenn]

I can't even count how many times some nice person came running after me because I notoriously forget my debit card in ATMs