You are Going to Die – Are You Ready

[Once Bitten]

2 hours ago, flyingdoc said:

Reading Once Bitten's two letters made me sad.  A positive attitude is essential.  I am not recommending gay abandon, but I refuse to dwell on the subject of death or even the possibility, though at nearly 80 many of my younger friends and colleagues have passed away already.  I know that I am lucky in that I work full time in Anti-aging Medicine (AAM), but I work at it, and still travel the world, drive, fly as a pilot in helicopters and fixed wing aircraft, dive  ( to 24 metres), ski,

parachute, para ascend, swim and join in every activity I can.  At medical conferences now,  the maxim is that

'aging is a disease, not an inevitability'  though of course we all have to die sometime.  Prof. Aubrey de Grey,  a world leading Anti-aging specialist and Prof at Cambridge Univ. , has said that the most difficult period to overcome in AAM, is 

the 120-150 year mark.  There are lots of children alive already, who will reach 120, if they take advantage of the new advances coming out every 5 years in the field of AAM .  As Pan Am used to claim,  ' Life is a journey - Travel it well !'

I admit that sadness does run throughout my comments , but could it stem from actually being just a realist and some one who accepts a situation as it really is ,  I'm not sure .

[orientalist]

Apart from preparing for death, you have to consider the possibility of a long period of ill-health before death. It could be dementia, diabetes, being confined to a wheelchair, etc, but many of us will have some kind of illness. Partly because of that I make sure I live a healthy lifestyle and have remained in the Prakan Sangkom scheme.

 

If you are legally married and die intestate - like most folks - there is a default method of calculating how your assets are divided. If you are single and your next of kin are unlikely to come to Thailand, it's more complicated. When you die, your immovable assets go to the state and the banks get your money. In that case, it makes sense to make a will and specify who gets your stuff. That raises another problem: you don't really want the executor to be a beneficiary but designating a lawyer as executor will see all your money disappear in expenses. I believe you can simply file your will at the local amphur (in Thai language) and they'll handle things.

[Once Bitten]

2 hours ago, sanmyn said:

Well, everyone dies sooner or later. 

So I make the most of life while I am here. I am single, live alone near Pattaya, and I am 82. I am semi-prepared with Will & some letters but probably not enough. Fortunately, I still have no aches or pains and am prepping for a cruise from Singapore next month. 

Of course, like so many, I fear dementia and being kept alive by Thai Doctors, nothing could be worse. So I am looking for that goodbye pill but have not found it yet. Hmmm, maybe in Cambodia or Lao?

 

But so far, for an old geezer, I feel OK. I guess that I am one of the lucky ones, as I do not fear death. As long as I go quickly.....

 

Your words give me hope , but the word dementia sends shudders down my spine , and your comment about a goodbye pill  ( or other method / solution  )  is starting to be a reoccurring comment I keep seeing and hearing about when in the company of other Twilighters . Makes you wonder if a quick goodbye solution was on hand . Would it be actually used 

 

 

[Once Bitten]

A bit off topic I know 

 

I have a theory well more like a strange feeling really .  Ive started to notice that upon meeting other members of our growing expat gang its becoming apparent that the one's who seem to be blessed with a good sense of humor and are  all ways in a  jocular type of mood are the ones who on listening to them recount their life's up's and down's , are the one's who seem to have generally gone through life with far less medical problems compared to others . So my budding theory is this . Could having a good sense of humor in some way play a part towards 

fending off health problems .

 

 

[Once Bitten]

10 minutes ago, orientalist said:

Apart from preparing for death, you have to consider the possibility of a long period of ill-health before death. It could be dementia, diabetes, being confined to a wheelchair, etc, but many of us will have some kind of illness. Partly because of that I make sure I live a healthy lifestyle and have remained in the Prakan Sangkom scheme.

 

If you are legally married and die intestate - like most folks - there is a default method of calculating how your assets are divided. If you are single and your next of kin are unlikely to come to Thailand, it's more complicated. When you die, your immovable assets go to the state and the banks get your money. In that case, it makes sense to make a will and specify who gets your stuff. That raises another problem: you don't really want the executor to be a beneficiary but designating a lawyer as executor will see all your money disappear in expenses. I believe you can simply file your will at the local amphur (in Thai language) and they'll handle things.

I had to look up  ''Prakan Sangkom  '' I thought it was going to be some sort of religious order / cult 

 

Good advice 

 

 

[xylophone]

13 minutes ago, Once Bitten said:

 

Your words give me hope , but the word dementia sends shudders down my spine , and your comment about a goodbye pill  ( or other method / solution  )  is starting to be a reoccurring comment I keep seeing and hearing about when in the company of other Twilighters . Makes you wonder if a quick goodbye solution was on hand . Would it be actually used 

 

 

Helium gas will get you where you want to go, along with a little handiwork, and painless and quick too by all accounts.

[chaihot]

14 hours ago, sirineou said:

A Difficult subject at best. 

... also I made sure she became a US citizen and send her to school ... so if things get rough in Thailand she can always return to the US and work. so I think she will be ok  but who knows.

...

Normally, I wouldn't have jumped in to this conversation but it hit close to home this week.  On Wednesday, I had a great conversation with an American Expat that I have known for many years.  It was a casual shoot-the-shit about health, and losing weight, and living life -- combined with the knowledge that we are all getting older and hope to continue enjoying life.  We had talked longer than usual because it was raining and neither of us wanted to fight the weather.  When it was over, we said goodbyes, he climbed into his car and drove off.

 

A little more than 24 hours later, he was found deceased in his bed; he had died in his sleep.  

 

The notification shook me; thinking about how happy he was now and was making plans for the "rest of his life".  And in one night, it was all over.  He was 70.

 

This brought up a conversation with my Thai wife about her life after my death.  Like you Sirineou, I make sure she became a citizen, majored in English, etc.  She worked for a few years in the US and made a good living, which would allow her to move back if necessary, or as you put it, "if things get rough in Thailand".

 

But I honestly don't know how she is going to handle the LEGAL things that need to be done.  I have a Thai will; I have an American Will; she is the beneficiary of my life insurance which should take care of her for life (provided I don't live too old).  But there is much more -- US real estate, companies, other assets, and my social security -- that I don't know how she is going to handle.

 

And the last thing I would want is for her NOT to get these things, and the STATE getting a bonus because she doesn't know what to do.

 

As to the life insurance, she must have the money to cover any medical costs of my death, or she can't get the death certificate, which she needs to collect my life insurance.  Another expat friend died a few years ago in a vehicle accident, and the hospital held the death certificate as ransom until the spouse was able to assemble and pay thousands of dollars in ER fees.  Horrible catch-22 situation.

 

And for good or for worse, my wife is Thai.  And even though I think she is educated and can hold her own, her "faith" in other Thais scares me to death.  I wonder if she will be strong enough to get what is righfully hers, without be screwed over by "people trying to help".

 

But other than creating a "death manual" instructing her on the steps to handle my death, I don't know what else to do.  My friend's death this week really shook me.  It was a reminder just how fast things can happen.

 

[theguyfromanotherforum]

I'm ready

[david555]

Just take that minimal Axa expat insurance...for a cover up to 12500 euros...is not much cover but not much premium too.But a repatriation is included " dead or alive.." and as we all die you never loose on it for the living stay behinds..Choise for thai berial or cremation paid by axa is open ....also remember Thailand has no option for euthanasia......many E.U. country have.... so repatriation saves you suffering and euros...

[chaihot]

3 minutes ago, david555 said:

Just take that minimal Axa expat insurance...for a cover up to 12500 euros...is not much cover but not much premium too.But a repatriation is included " dead or alive.." and as we all die you never loose on it for the living stay behinds..Choise for thai berial or cremation paid by axa is open ....also remember Thailand has no option for euthanasia......many E.U. country have.... so repatriation saves you suffering and euros...

I'm not completely sure what you are referring to ... but it sounds like you are describing "travel insurance"?  If so, all of the programs I have looked at over the years have a maximum number of days that you are allowed to be out of your home country, which would defeat the purpose for most expats.  

 

Since you referred to it as "expat insurance", can you provide a few more details?  Thanks.

[Once Bitten]

22 minutes ago, chaihot said:

Normally, I wouldn't have jumped in to this conversation but it hit close to home this week.  On Wednesday, I had a great conversation with an American Expat that I have known for many years.  It was a casual shoot-the-shit about health, and losing weight, and living life -- combined with the knowledge that we are all getting older and hope to continue enjoying life.  We had talked longer than usual because it was raining and neither of us wanted to fight the weather.  When it was over, we said goodbyes, he climbed into his car and drove off.

 

A little more than 24 hours later, he was found deceased in his bed; he had died in his sleep.  

 

The notification shook me; thinking about how happy he was now and was making plans for the "rest of his life".  And in one night, it was all over.  He was 70.

 

This brought up a conversation with my Thai wife about her life after my death.  Like you Sirineou, I make sure she became a citizen, majored in English, etc.  She worked for a few years in the US and made a good living, which would allow her to move back if necessary, or as you put it, "if things get rough in Thailand".

 

But I honestly don't know how she is going to handle the LEGAL things that need to be done.  I have a Thai will; I have an American Will; she is the beneficiary of my life insurance which should take care of her for life (provided I don't live too old).  But there is much more -- US real estate, companies, other assets, and my social security -- that I don't know how she is going to handle.

 

And the last thing I would want is for her NOT to get these things, and the STATE getting a bonus because she doesn't know what to do.

 

As to the life insurance, she must have the money to cover any medical costs of my death, or she can't get the death certificate, which she needs to collect my life insurance.  Another expat friend died a few years ago in a vehicle accident, and the hospital held the death certificate as ransom until the spouse was able to assemble and pay thousands of dollars in ER fees.  Horrible catch-22 situation.

 

And for good or for worse, my wife is Thai.  And even though I think she is educated and can hold her own, her "faith" in other Thais scares me to death.  I wonder if she will be strong enough to get what is righfully hers, without be screwed over by "people trying to help".

 

But other than creating a "death manual" instructing her on the steps to handle my death, I don't know what else to do.  My friend's death this week really shook me.  It was a reminder just how fast things can happen.

 

 

An interesting and sad story that reminds all of us just what may be around the corner . 

 

My own personal worry relating to my wife is not so much about her coping or being  strong enough to deal with legal or authority issues but how many of her family vultures will be circling with the ....... as your rich farang husband has now gone can you lend me some money..... type of requests 

 

 

[Once Bitten]

22 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

I'm ready

Are you sure 

[david555]

7 minutes ago, chaihot said:

I'm not completely sure what you are referring to ... but it sounds like you are describing "travel insurance"?  If so, all of the programs I have looked at over the years have a maximum number of days that you are allowed to be out of your home country, which would defeat the purpose for most expats.  

 

Since you referred to it as "expat insurance", can you provide a few more details?  Thanks.

Google axa expat...also pattaya expat club promotes it ..i took it straight E.U. company Brussels..it is not a travell insurance... condition is that you are covered by your home country health care ( hence the repatriation option....so if too expensive they can switch you to your home country care...smart move ..) Condition is that you are covered in your before born or living country  ...

Can not give all details as much it is .Not for go see outpatient..only sudden happening incidents ....even bail in case arrest provided..but pay back later same for lawyer

Best is to contact expt club pattaya ..they can provide you doc. In English ...mine are in Dutch

[chaihot]

1 minute ago, Once Bitten said:

 

An interesting and sad story that reminds all of us just what may be around the corner . 

 

My own personal worry relating to my wife is not so much about her coping or being  strong enough to deal with legal or authority issues but how many of her family vultures will be circling with the ....... as your rich farang husband has now gone can you lend me some money..... type of requests 

 

 

Absolutely 100% ... I didn't make it clear, but what you say is the "second" part of my issue.  Once she gets my estate .... I'm afraid the problems will really start for her.  She DOES have family unfortunately.

[Once Bitten]

31 minutes ago, xylophone said:

Helium gas will get you where you want to go, along with a little handiwork, and painless and quick too by all accounts.

I like the sound of floating up up and away 

[Once Bitten]

Just now, chaihot said:

Absolutely 100% ... I didn't make it clear, but what you say is the "second" part of my issue.  Once she gets my estate .... I'm afraid the problems will really start for her.  She DOES have family unfortunately.

Ive often thought about the question of her family and how they will for sure 100% approach her for money when I'm not around .  I wish there was a way to help my wife now so she can prepare for the inevitable requests from deadbeat members of her family .  I'm still searching for a workable answer .

[bazza73]

 I'm going to die sometime. Right now, I'm more concerned with living and my quality of life. My will is in place ( Thai and Australian ) to take care of the people I love after I am gone.

IMHO I would not want to be part of the OP's circle of friends. Very morbid topic of conversation. Surround yourself with positive people, and you acquire a positive outlook. Being in the OP's group would probably have me slashing my wrists.

[sammieuk1]

The very scary thought of no air con in the crematorium will make me wait as long as possible.

[Jeffkp]

I'll be 63 next March. When I retired at 60 and moved to Thailand, I made sure to put all my affairs in order. I think it's incredibly selfish for someone to leave their affairs in a mess for people to deal with after their death. That happened with my father and was a real burden on my mother.

I'm in no hurry to die, but I rest a little easier knowing everything is (hopefully) in order.

[Tarteso]

Talking with my “smart” thai gf,  about this question, she says “You think so much” !

 

 

 

[david555]

54 minutes ago, chaihot said:

I'm not completely sure what you are referring to ... but it sounds like you are describing "travel insurance"?  If so, all of the programs I have looked at over the years have a maximum number of days that you are allowed to be out of your home country, which would defeat the purpose for most expats.  

 

Since you referred to it as "expat insurance", can you provide a few more details?  Thanks.

PM SEND WITH ATTACHMENT INFO..

[chaihot]

9 minutes ago, Tarteso said:

Talking with my “smart” thai gf,  about this question, she says “You think so much” !

 

 

 

"Buddha will provide".  Live for today.  "Tomorrow" has never been a worry for any Thais I have known over the years.

[GarryP]

43 minutes ago, chaihot said:

Absolutely 100% ... I didn't make it clear, but what you say is the "second" part of my issue.  Once she gets my estate .... I'm afraid the problems will really start for her.  She DOES have family unfortunately.

Not everyone's family is looking for a free ride. In fact many are hard working and not looking for handouts. But if that is the case of your wife's family then it is a very sad situation. Surely you could mention your concerns to her, and what brought about those concerns. But if there has been no indication of the family looking for handouts in the past, you need to be very careful as you would have no grounds for painting them that way. 

[giddyup]

2 minutes ago, GarryP said:

Not everyone's family is looking for a free ride. In fact many are hard working and not looking for handouts. But if that is the case of your wife's family then it is a very sad situation. Surely you could mention your concerns to her, and what brought about those concerns. But if there has been no indication of the family looking for handouts in the past, you need to be very careful as you would have no grounds for painting them that way. 

Agree 100%. I have extended small loans to my partner's family over the years, nothing larger than 100,000 baht, all have been repaid, as all her family works. I too worried about people descending on her like a plague of locusts once I'm gone, but I think my concerns are unwarranted. Besides, she's no dummy, she's happy to help the deserving, but she'd know when she's being taken advantage of.

[1FinickyOne]

4 hours ago, flyingdoc said:

'aging is a disease, not an inevitability'  though of course we all have to die sometime

Well, I congratulate you on your joy in the activities you pursue... and it is wonderful to see people who are truly happy and active into their 90s... my parents both had dementia by 85. 

 

You contradict your own quote, as noted above, as ageing is an inevitability as is death - - and we have all heard the feel good cliches - 60 is the new 40... etc etc... great sayings until a friend finds a cancer growing, losses their eyesight, has kidney failure, breaks a hip... 

 

From where I sit, and I have been in old age homes as a visitor, people become frail, inactive, ill and live in pain due to the inevitable conditions they develop. I do not see much quality of life after 90 - yes, there are some and you may know many as it is your field, but it is still likely a very very low % of the population. 

 

In short, living past 100 is not a pretty picture. 

 

I am not trying to be combative here, but since it is your field and you seem quite invested in it and so far profiting by it - when you look at people over 100 - how many look to have a quality of life that is acceptable? Is there somewhere where there is a sizeable population? 

 

People don't live past 120 - maybe a couple and Pan Am is out of business - correct? I don't think once Bittens pot was negative - just realistic. 

 

 

[StevieAus]

15 hours ago, vogie said:

I told my wife I want to be cremated, she said you'll have to wait till tomorrow as they are all closed at the moment?

Brilliant, treat life with a sense of humor and you will live longer, I'm 67 and never think of death it will happen soon enough.

[Tippaporn]

17 hours ago, Once Bitten said:

Ive spoken to my Thai wife a few times about the subject of whats going to happen if I'm not around any more , its obvious that in her mind she is a firm believer in  reincarnation and there's nothing to worry about as in your next life things will be even better than your present life .

 

Convincing my self that may be true is an up hill struggle 

The Thais are correct about reincarnation.  Where they have it wrong is their belief that your next life will be "good" or "bad" depending on how you lived your present life.  Penance is an earthly concept that doesn't apply when departing this earthly existence.  Information exists and is available to anyone who is truly interested in acquiring an understanding of the death experience.

 

Death is merely the means for the continuation of life.  A transformation, if you will.  No one has intended to live within a single lifetime as a singular individual for all eternity.  That would be the true definition of death.  Imagine an extremely gifted artist being given only one lump of clay, or one canvas, with which to express the expanse of who he is.  We are much more than we currently know ourselves to be.  No worries.

 

As to how to live out the remainder of one's life my advice would be to live it as one has lived the rest of their life.  Don't worry, don't hurry, and don't forget to smell the flowers.

[giddyup]

4 minutes ago, Tippaporn said:

The Thais are correct about reincarnation.

You have proof?

[Tippaporn]

7 minutes ago, giddyup said:

You have proof?

If you're looking for proof that you can hold in your hand, or see with your eyes, or taste, or smell, or touch then I would venture to say that you will never find it.  I'm not being flippant here but simply trying to be honest.

[giddyup]

Just now, Tippaporn said:

If you're looking for proof that you can hold in your hand, or see with your eyes, or taste, or smell, or touch then I would venture to say that you will never find it.  I'm not being flippant here but simply trying to be honest.

Sorry, too many unproven options out there, doubt if your particular faith based religion has any more to offer.