Thai funeral customs.

[wamberal]

I cannot see this topic anywhere, would really appreciate a bit of info about what to expect in terms of the timeline for the observance of my father-in-law's passing.

 

My wife is now en route to Bangkok (we live in Australia), she did tell me roughly what would happen after he passes away (he is at death's door right now) from memory she talked about 8 days?  Could have been more.  Anyway, I need to start looking at a few logistical issues in terms of planning for our Christmas trip that we usually take to visit my sister and her husband in country New South Wales.

 

Any information would be gratefully received.

[lopburi3]

Do not believe anyone can fully explain as it is a bit different everywhere - but for most people of normal level the period would be 3 days with prayers and gatherings with body burned at end of that period but often longer for various reasons including higher level (officials) and perhaps to make time for family to travel when spread out.

[Kwasaki]

Old people always 7 days in my experience starting the day they die.

[1FinickyOne]

From the village life: - - Yes, as stated above, there are variables. Poorer people cannot afford the typical three day procession, which is meals and monks... and so, they might be cremated within 1-2 days. Wealthier may go longer but average here is 3 days... then, there is a matter of the way in which someone died that can also have an effect on the types of ceremonies performed... 

 

Just keep in touch with your wife and she will let you know. It is quite possible that she will not say anything until after he passes as that would not be a nice thing to be talking about someone still alive...

 

 

[wamberal]

Many thanks for the helpful responses.  My wife flew in to BKK late last night, I am expecting a call from her soon.  One of the other daughters is flying in from the US.

[tonray]

In some cases, even those who cannot afford the full deal at death, they will have a larger and more elaborate 'Making Merit' ceremony at some later date when they can accumulate the money for said affair.  I know of one family that literally saved for 5 years and on that anniversary had a large affair at the local Wat, I think the cost was somewhere around 60,000 baht.

[lopburi3]

This is often done on a yearly basis and is scheduled with the Wat - normally it is for extended family and will include prayers/offering meal service by family or service they pay for and after monks eat family will.  These do not have to be elaborate and are a major source of ongoing support for Wats and local business. 

 

The funeral period is normally when major funds are expended as people will be eating (and often drinking at family home) full time so a lot of money is spent - some (to most) is recovered by the donation envelopes given to family - but it is a time when funds do flow freely.  

[Lite Beer]

Usually lasts for around 5 days with ear splitting music blasting out.

Take your ear plugs.

[MJCM]

Usually lasts for around 5 days with ear splitting music blasting out. Take your ear plugs.

 

 

Fortunately in our village a funeral is the only time that Music (at deafening volume) isn’t played [emoji6]

 

But as said it depends how long the funeral will take, last week a villager died and her funeral took (from arriving from the hospital to the cremation) less then 3 days. But a couple of months ago, the village monk died and that was in total of 9 days.

 

Edit: The duration also depends if all the family members can arrive in time, with family members scattered all over the globe it can of course take a while for them to arrive.

[connda]

On 12/15/2017 at 9:17 AM, Kwasaki said:

Old people always 7 days in my experience starting the day they die.

In our rural village it's a pretty standard 3 days for everyone.  First day is a lot of preparations and entails mostly family.  Second day a lot of people including family friends and other villagers show up. Monks come to chant in the evening.  It's a bit of a party atmosphere and some will actually throw a bit of a wake (party, drinking, music).   Third day is usually a starts off with a large meeting of chanting monks followed by lunch and then a procession to the cremations grounds where the body is burnt.   People with land and space (and funds) will often have the three day process at their family home, with all others having it at the local temple which has the space and facilities to take care of the body and the visiting guests (tents, chairs, tables, cooking facilities, loud speakers, etc).  A local volunteer group dons uniforms and takes care of the traffic around either the home or the temple during this time and during the funeral procession.  It's always easy to tell when someone dies in the village.  In our village, every time someone dies, all villagers pay 200 THB into a central fund that is kept in escrow at the local bank.  This is voluntary and is a form of insurance.  If you have been participating, then the family receives approximately 120K THB from this fund when a family member dies to take care of funeral related expenses.  Virtually all villagers participate in this fund.  So when even the poorest people die, they all tend of have a very nice send-off and the remaining family have some money to hold them over during the time they may not be working.  To be honest, the passing away of villagers does not have any of the morbidity that I personally associate with funerals in the West.  It's a celebration of a person's life and their passing, as well as an acknowledgement of the phases of life, death simply being a part of living.

However, funerals in cities can be a bit different.  I can't speak with much knowledge about those.

Edited December 16, 2017 by connda

[Pungdo]

I was told years ago that it can be 3-5-7 or 9 days, and that depends on your wealth and importance, my father inlaw was only 3 days and that was way up north in deepest darkest Esaan.

[krabi local]

You will be unable to make too many plans as it really depends how sick he is.

 

My father in law was expected to pass in the July and all the family came from around SE Asia, he hung on for 5 days on life support in hospital with the family gathered around.

He then recovered and was allowed home.  

2 months later exactly same story.

6 months after that he went into hospital and died same day.

There was 1 day in hospital then 3 days at the temple then the cremation.

[Kwasaki]

1 hour ago, connda said:

However, funerals in cities can be a bit different.  I can't speak with much knowledge about those.

Don't much about cities either but observation and asking the Mrs in Sukhothai New City there held in one of the temples I believe because they can't shut off main roads if they live on the main road.

 

In our village is a mixture of poor, say middle earners and rich so usually 3 minimum up to 7 days.

 

Most Thais have a 100,000 baht insurance, our family does, the poor usually get help from the family and some of the villagers also temple help. 

Edited December 16, 2017 by Kwasaki

[rwill]

After a person dies the ceremony can begin at any time the family chooses.  They will check with the Wat to see when they are able to schedule it, the Wat may be too busy to start it right away.  If the family needs to put it off until later they can.  Such as to allow time for family members to be able to attend.  I have known some to be put off for a year.  The ceremony itself will last anywhere from 3-100 days depending on what the family can afford.  Longer times are supposed to make more merit for the deceased.

[billd766]

My MIL died up here in rural Khampaeng Phet with us and her ceremony ran for 5 days as the family were coming in from BKK, Korat and Issan. I was a bit confused on the cremation day when we walked around the crematorium 3 times as I wasn't sure if I should have been with the family or not.

 

Last month my FIL died down in BKK on a Thursday and he was cremated on the Sunday following. My wife was already down there and my son and I plus my neighbours went down on Friday and came back on Monday. The family were either living in BKK or Issan so travel was a bit easier. At my FIL cremation I was in the family group walking around the crematorium.

 

At both ceremonies the local amphur and moo ban was represented.

 

At my MILs cremation they seemed to have more enjoyment in the evenings but at neither cremation was there any loud music.

[joskeshake]

2 hours ago, Kwasaki said:

Don't much about cities either but observation and asking the Mrs in Sukhothai New City there held in one of the temples I believe because they can't shut off main roads if they live on the main road.

 

In our village is a mixture of poor, say middle earners and rich so usually 3 minimum up to 7 days.

 

Most Thais have a 100,000 baht insurance, our family does, the poor usually get help from the family and some of the villagers also temple help. 

my wife went to funeral of wife from here brother, and she speaks it last 3 day's with 9 monks you have to feed,and cost was 100.000 baht,i asked would it be for farang same same ? but no answer, because i want to be cremated here when i die.

[thaibeachlovers]

5 hours ago, lopburi3 said:

This is often done on a yearly basis and is scheduled with the Wat - normally it is for extended family and will include prayers/offering meal service by family or service they pay for and after monks eat family will.  These do not have to be elaborate and are a major source of ongoing support for Wats and local business. 

 

The funeral period is normally when major funds are expended as people will be eating (and often drinking at family home) full time so a lot of money is spent - some (to most) is recovered by the donation envelopes given to family - but it is a time when funds do flow freely.  

My MIL's funeral was apparently funded by me ( I never got anything back, but that could be because her family hated me ), and consisted of feeding the entire village for several days and gifts of expensive cloth to the monks ( I wonder what happens to that cloth? ).

Luckily my wife told me to wait till the last day before travelling to the village as it's as boring as watching a very boring piece of grass growing very very slowly.

The grandsons had to shave their heads and dress like monks for the ceremony, which consisted of a lot of monk chanting, a lot of giving of cloth to the monks by village dignitaries, followed by removing the body from the freezer and putting it on a trolley to circle the crematorium 3 times with all the family and monks holding a piece of string attached to the trolley. The body was then put in the crematorium to be burnt with the door open so everyone could see the body being burned.

All the attendees received a small present ( I got a cheap hand fan ) and that was it.

We all had to sleep in the house that night so her ghost couldn't come back and haunt the house.

There were apparently more events connected with it to come but I wasn't required to attend them, so don't know what happened.

 

My only advice to the OP is to wait till the last day to arrive there, make sure there will be a chair for him to sit on, and take a camera. The actual burning part is quite interesting.

[thaibeachlovers]

9 minutes ago, joskeshake said:

my wife went to funeral of wife from here brother, and she speaks it last 3 day's with 9 monks you have to feed,and cost was 100.000 baht,i asked would it be for farang same same ? but no answer, because i want to be cremated here when i die.

If you are not Buddhist there is no requirement for a ceremony, hence no monks to feed and give gifts too. Up to you if you want your money being used to feed the village.

I understand the cost of the actual burning is not much.

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, rwill said:

After a person dies the ceremony can begin at any time the family chooses.  They will check with the Wat to see when they are able to schedule it, the Wat may be too busy to start it right away.  If the family needs to put it off until later they can.  Such as to allow time for family members to be able to attend.  I have known some to be put off for a year.  The ceremony itself will last anywhere from 3-100 days depending on what the family can afford.  Longer times are supposed to make more merit for the deceased.

From what I have read the length of time between death and cremation depends on the status of the deceased.

The book I read said they keep the body in the house in a special coffin so the body loses fluid and only skin and bone left at burning time. It also said they treat the dead person as if they are still alive till the ceremony.

[thaibeachlovers]

5 hours ago, Lite Beer said:

Usually lasts for around 5 days with ear splitting music blasting out.

Take your ear plugs.

No music when I went to MIL ceremony.

Perhaps the villagers were taking the opportunity to have a party at someone else's expense.

[billd766]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

From what I have read the length of time between death and cremation depends on the status of the deceased.

The book I read said they keep the body in the house in a special coffin so the body loses fluid and only skin and bone left at burning time. It also said they treat the dead person as if they are still alive till the ceremony.

 

Both my MIL and my FIL were in a coffin at the wat for the mourning period.

 

They were both fully dressed and the same coffin is used for the cremation.

 

Out of interest I asked the local coffin supplier how much the coffin costs and it is from about 3,000 baht for the basic coffin and I would presume that it eises depending on what you want.

 

I aksed about one for me that would be in my size and take my 120kg weight and that would start from around 8,000 baht. The price did not include the hire of a forklift if I died upstairs, though the people to get me out of the house would come from strong friends in the village.

 

When farangs die we usually get taken to the hospital to check for unusual circunstances and the police have to authorise the release of the body. It is also their job to notify your embassy of your death.

[Lucky mike]

The date of  "fire "is normally set by the monks and this can vary area to area. The family normally caters for relatives and friends  with food and drink who pay respect to deceased and give money.  The body is cremated on last day...

[thaibeachlovers]

1 minute ago, billd766 said:

 

Both my MIL and my FIL were in a coffin at the wat for the mourning period.

 

They were both fully dressed and the same coffin is used for the cremation.

 

Out of interest I asked the local coffin supplier how much the coffin costs and it is from about 3,000 baht for the basic coffin and I would presume that it eises depending on what you want.

 

I aksed about one for me that would be in my size and take my 120kg weight and that would start from around 8,000 baht. The price did not include the hire of a forklift if I died upstairs, though the people to get me out of the house would come from strong friends in the village.

 

When farangs die we usually get taken to the hospital to check for unusual circunstances and the police have to authorise the release of the body. It is also their job to notify your embassy of your death.

I should have mentioned that the keeping the body in the house is only for long term. Obviously only 3 days going to be at the Wat. My MIL was kept in a freezer, far as I could work out.

Back home there are clubs where you can make your own cheap coffin. I see no point in paying a lot for a coffin anyway. They can put me in a cardboard box for all I care ( I'll be dead ).

Be interesting if I die here. I've told my relatives to refuse to pay for my body to go back, and hopefully I'll only have a few thousand left when I depart, and I can't see my ex paying anything. Those that profit from people's deaths will not be making much off me.

 

[thaibeachlovers]

4 minutes ago, Lucky mike said:

The date of  "fire "is normally set by the monks and this can vary area to area. The family normally caters for relatives and friends  with food and drink who pay respect to deceased and give money.  The body is cremated on last day...

In my MIL's case she must have been related to everyone in the village as they all turned up for the free feed. 

Not many used to bother visiting when she was alive.

[free123]

when the music is over turn of the light

[Kwasaki]

3 hours ago, joskeshake said:

my wife went to funeral of wife from here brother, and she speaks it last 3 day's with 9 monks you have to feed,and cost was 100.000 baht,i asked would it be for farang same same ? but no answer, because i want to be cremated here when i die.

Well l told my wife when I peg it, keep me in a freezer so she can still get my pension payment.

When they find out cremate me same day don't waste money on ponces otherwise l'll come back and haunt the family.  

Edited December 16, 2017 by Kwasaki

[connda]

3 hours ago, joskeshake said:

my wife went to funeral of wife from here brother, and she speaks it last 3 day's with 9 monks you have to feed,and cost was 100.000 baht,i asked would it be for farang same same ? but no answer, because i want to be cremated here when i die.

I told my wife not to spend much money or expense on sending me off.  Put me in the local temple's refrigerated box, have some monks chant over me, toss me in a cheap box on day three, the haul the body up to the crematorium.  Heck, I'll be gone so no reason for the bells and whistles.  I won't care and I'd rather her save the money. 

[khunPer]

On 12/15/2017 at 1:36 AM, wamberal said:

Any information would be gratefully received.

The funeral ceremony and traditions may be slightly different, in various parts of Thailand, but some general outline is the same all over; however, my following explanation of a funeral ceremony may not completely mirror that in other places. My inserted photos are from a local Southern temple funeral ceremony of a child killed in a traffic accident, but the relatives came from Isaan-provinces. The images were used in a Facebook-explanation, and published with acceptance from the relatives (close friend) that asked me to take pictures of everything and explain it for foreigners.

 

When someone dies, the body is normally taken to morgue; however, at some home-death the body can be taken direct to the local temple.

 

At the morgue (close) relatives (and friends) will meet and do a cleansing ceremony – i.e. washing the body and make it look nice, some make-up may also be used, and the staff at the morgue may before that partly have embalmed the body with chemicals – and then the body is dressed in nice clothes, and placed it in a coffin, often a very simple open wood box, but covered with a white cloth on the top.

 

The body will then be moved from the morgue to a temple. En route a lot of spirits (ghosts) will be in the way and demanding compensation for letting the dead body (and soul) pass. Relatives will follow the body, for example sit next to, or around, the coffin with a open backdoor (in car) or in the bed of a pick-up car, and throw (normally 1 baht) coins to the road spirits, and kindly ask for their permission to pass in return for money.

 

 

During the cleansing ceremony a coin has often been placed in the mouth of the body – and/or in a pocket, more often "and" to be sure – so the soul can pay the doorman when entering the sphere-of-the-dead. In some Western and ancients culture the dead body also needed a coin to pay the ferryman to sail over to Hades – or equivalent in Egypt from Eastern Nile bank to the Western bank – that's also the tradition why seamen are having one golden earring, so they always can pay the fee to enter the other side.

 

In the temple the coffin will be placed in (one of) the temple's big decorated, and normally cooled coffins. The temple ceremony will typically last for three days, but can be longer.

 

The temple ceremony will mirror the families and dead person’s status; i.e. some “make face” can be involved, and some funeral ceremonies can be quite costly for the close relatives, so a foreign partner to a Thai relative shall not be surprised if asked for some financial help, and neither surprised that a funeral ceremony can cost anywhere from 30,000 baht to 100,000 baht, or even more.

 

The coffin in the temple will be decorated with flowers and a photo of the deceased will be placed next to the coffin. Sometime food for the deceased will be placed on top of the coffin, or in front.

 

Every evening a number of monks will Mass chants and prayer(s). Numerous relatives – some may travel long distance – and locals that knew the deceased, will attend. It’s custom that people attending the evening ceremonies will one of the days bring a white envelope with some money to help the relatives – can be small money, if the families don’t have much, it’s the principle that matters; and some may hand bigger amounts to help, or make little face, mirroring the individuals social status – in return the relatives to the deceased will handle a (small) gift; again symbolic, so not a gift of value, can for example be a piece of soap.

 

The monks shall be paid after each service, normally a white envelope with an amount reflecting the custom in the area, and the status of the family – 1,000 baht for each monk is not unusual, and there will often be five to nine monks – sometime a guest may ask to help, and pay the monks for one evening’s service. Also gifts can be given to the monks.

 

Food and soft drinks will be served to all gusts after the Mass – the temples have kitchen-facilities and common areas for that purpose – which also increase the interest from the locals (villagers) to attend funeral ceremonies; don’t be surprised if the number of participants can be in number of hundred.

 

Some time relatives may stay – or live, i.e. sleep on mats on the floor – in the temple for the whole ceremony period of three days (or more).

 

As a foreigner attending the funeral ceremonies, just follow what the locals are doing, and preferably dress in black or dark colors, white shirt is very acceptable with black or dark jeans/skirt. And don’t be surprised that the Thais will take plenty of photos, and even selfies, during the ceremony; which some Westerners may feel inappropriate.

 

One of the rituals, often the third evening, is done with two glasses – or a jug and a glass – where one glass is full of water, and the other empty. The empty glass symbolize the deceased, the full glass the good things each of the participants has done in life. Slowly the water from the full glass is poured into the empty glass, so all participants in the ceremony gives some of their “good”, so the deceased’s soul has enough good works to bring on the upcoming spiritual journey, and enough to be let into “the other side”. Often there are not enough glasses for everybody, so a number of people will hold the arms of a person pouring the water, and in that way give some of their “good” to the deceased’s soul.

 

 

There may be other ceremonies, I have for example experienced a monk doing a ritual with a knife, like cutting some imaginative from relatives and place it into the deceased body’s coffin; but none of the Northern people present had experienced that before, and therefore could not explain it to me. It may have to do with the Buddhist belief in a person has numerous different souls – think it’s seven – where they all need to be collected, if having left the body, and put back into the deceased’s body (coffin), so the souls don’t end up as ghosts (poltergeists), searching for a missing body. Especially after an accident, for example a traffic accident, it is important to “catch” the soul(s) at the spot where the deceased died; which a monk will do with a ritual and place the soul in a bowl filled with flowers, and a lid as top so the soul don’t “fly” out when transported to the body-coffin, whilst the monk pray the spirits in the road for permission to pass with the soul in the bowl.

 

 

At noon (but can probably be other time) on the fourth day (or later, if the ceremony is longer) the cremation will take place. The inner coffin with the deceased’s body will be taken out of the decorative temple-coffin, and carried in a precession the temple’s crematorium. The picture will be carried by a close relative in front of the coffin.

 

In front of the crematory pyre – today a modern oven – the coffin lid or cover cloth will be taken off. First thing will be a monk that moves the soul(s) from the deceased’s body into the picture, a soul need some recognizable to take place in; the picture is a temporary soul dwelling, as the soul otherwise may end up a spirit without bodily contact, and in future as ghost haul the livings. Then flower heads will be thrown into the coffin, and other kind of rituals done. For example can some young coconuts be opened, and the water poured over the head and body of the deceased for purification. For safety's sake some may place a handful of “pennies” in the coffin, just before it’s pushed into the oven. Some of the deceased's belongings, and the flowers from the temple-decoration, may be burned in a bonfire, outside the crematorium.

 

 

Early next morning, or rather at night before Sunrise, typically at 4 am the relatives will meet in front of the crematorium pyre. A monk will take the ashes out of the oven, which by now has been cooled down. In the ashes, the monk will with a stick draw a body, with head and arms and legs, so the soul(s) temporary resting in the picture can recognize their previous body, and move into the ash. The relatives will then sort the remains into urn(s). There are additional rituals to be performed, once again water is poured from a full glass into an empty glass; candles are lit; food is given; and gift for the monks, which also need to clean the house where the deceased lived. That will be done with white cotton strings, a sort of barrier so any errant spirit(s) cannot come back and take "dwelling" there.

 

[HHTel]

I've been here many years and have attended too many funerals.  My understanding is that the period before the cremation is 3,5,7 or 9 days.  A lot depends on funds available.  As there is no embalming as such, the body is normally kept in a freezer at the temple.  The 'coffin' when there is one is usually a plywood affair.

Donations are usually given by the attendees.  A small gift is given to the attendees and a gift given to the monks, usually a small donation in an envelope and  a set of robes (which are recycled).

There is another 'party' 100 days after the death.

 

In my case, there'll just be a party as I'm giving my body to the hospital for education.  Already filled out the forms at the Red Cross.  That cuts the cost!!

[billd766]

7 hours ago, khunPer said:

The funeral ceremony and traditions may be slightly different, in various parts of Thailand, but some general outline is the same all over; however, my following explanation of a funeral ceremony may not completely mirror that in other places. My inserted photos are from a local Southern temple funeral ceremony of a child killed in a traffic accident, but the relatives came from Isaan-provinces. The images were used in a Facebook-explanation, and published with acceptance from the relatives (close friend) that asked me to take pictures of everything and explain it for foreigners.

 

When someone dies, the body is normally taken to morgue; however, at some home-death the body can be taken direct to the local temple.

 

At the morgue (close) relatives (and friends) will meet and do a cleansing ceremony – i.e. washing the body and make it look nice, some make-up may also be used, and the staff at the morgue may before that partly have embalmed the body with chemicals – and then the body is dressed in nice clothes, and placed it in a coffin, often a very simple open wood box, but covered with a white cloth on the top.

 

The body will then be moved from the morgue to a temple. En route a lot of spirits (ghosts) will be in the way and demanding compensation for letting the dead body (and soul) pass. Relatives will follow the body, for example sit next to, or around, the coffin with a open backdoor (in car) or in the bed of a pick-up car, and throw (normally 1 baht) coins to the road spirits, and kindly ask for their permission to pass in return for money.

 

 

During the cleansing ceremony a coin has often been placed in the mouth of the body – and/or in a pocket, more often "and" to be sure – so the soul can pay the doorman when entering the sphere-of-the-dead. In some Western and ancients culture the dead body also needed a coin to pay the ferryman to sail over to Hades – or equivalent in Egypt from Eastern Nile bank to the Western bank – that's also the tradition why seamen are having one golden earring, so they always can pay the fee to enter the other side.

 

In the temple the coffin will be placed in (one of) the temple's big decorated, and normally cooled coffins. The temple ceremony will typically last for three days, but can be longer.

 

The temple ceremony will mirror the families and dead person’s status; i.e. some “make face” can be involved, and some funeral ceremonies can be quite costly for the close relatives, so a foreign partner to a Thai relative shall not be surprised if asked for some financial help, and neither surprised that a funeral ceremony can cost anywhere from 30,000 baht to 100,000 baht, or even more.

 

The coffin in the temple will be decorated with flowers and a photo of the deceased will be placed next to the coffin. Sometime food for the deceased will be placed on top of the coffin, or in front.

 

Every evening a number of monks will Mass chants and prayer(s). Numerous relatives – some may travel long distance – and locals that knew the deceased, will attend. It’s custom that people attending the evening ceremonies will one of the days bring a white envelope with some money to help the relatives – can be small money, if the families don’t have much, it’s the principle that matters; and some may hand bigger amounts to help, or make little face, mirroring the individuals social status – in return the relatives to the deceased will handle a (small) gift; again symbolic, so not a gift of value, can for example be a piece of soap.

 

The monks shall be paid after each service, normally a white envelope with an amount reflecting the custom in the area, and the status of the family – 1,000 baht for each monk is not unusual, and there will often be five to nine monks – sometime a guest may ask to help, and pay the monks for one evening’s service. Also gifts can be given to the monks.

 

Food and soft drinks will be served to all gusts after the Mass – the temples have kitchen-facilities and common areas for that purpose – which also increase the interest from the locals (villagers) to attend funeral ceremonies; don’t be surprised if the number of participants can be in number of hundred.

 

Some time relatives may stay – or live, i.e. sleep on mats on the floor – in the temple for the whole ceremony period of three days (or more).

 

As a foreigner attending the funeral ceremonies, just follow what the locals are doing, and preferably dress in black or dark colors, white shirt is very acceptable with black or dark jeans/skirt. And don’t be surprised that the Thais will take plenty of photos, and even selfies, during the ceremony; which some Westerners may feel inappropriate.

 

One of the rituals, often the third evening, is done with two glasses – or a jug and a glass – where one glass is full of water, and the other empty. The empty glass symbolize the deceased, the full glass the good things each of the participants has done in life. Slowly the water from the full glass is poured into the empty glass, so all participants in the ceremony gives some of their “good”, so the deceased’s soul has enough good works to bring on the upcoming spiritual journey, and enough to be let into “the other side”. Often there are not enough glasses for everybody, so a number of people will hold the arms of a person pouring the water, and in that way give some of their “good” to the deceased’s soul.

 

 

There may be other ceremonies, I have for example experienced a monk doing a ritual with a knife, like cutting some imaginative from relatives and place it into the deceased body’s coffin; but none of the Northern people present had experienced that before, and therefore could not explain it to me. It may have to do with the Buddhist belief in a person has numerous different souls – think it’s seven – where they all need to be collected, if having left the body, and put back into the deceased’s body (coffin), so the souls don’t end up as ghosts (poltergeists), searching for a missing body. Especially after an accident, for example a traffic accident, it is important to “catch” the soul(s) at the spot where the deceased died; which a monk will do with a ritual and place the soul in a bowl filled with flowers, and a lid as top so the soul don’t “fly” out when transported to the body-coffin, whilst the monk pray the spirits in the road for permission to pass with the soul in the bowl.

 

 

At noon (but can probably be other time) on the fourth day (or later, if the ceremony is longer) the cremation will take place. The inner coffin with the deceased’s body will be taken out of the decorative temple-coffin, and carried in a precession the temple’s crematorium. The picture will be carried by a close relative in front of the coffin.

 

In front of the crematory pyre – today a modern oven – the coffin lid or cover cloth will be taken off. First thing will be a monk that moves the soul(s) from the deceased’s body into the picture, a soul need some recognizable to take place in; the picture is a temporary soul dwelling, as the soul otherwise may end up a spirit without bodily contact, and in future as ghost haul the livings. Then flower heads will be thrown into the coffin, and other kind of rituals done. For example can some young coconuts be opened, and the water poured over the head and body of the deceased for purification. For safety's sake some may place a handful of “pennies” in the coffin, just before it’s pushed into the oven. Some of the deceased's belongings, and the flowers from the temple-decoration, may be burned in a bonfire, outside the crematorium.

 

 

Early next morning, or rather at night before Sunrise, typically at 4 am the relatives will meet in front of the crematorium pyre. A monk will take the ashes out of the oven, which by now has been cooled down. In the ashes, the monk will with a stick draw a body, with head and arms and legs, so the soul(s) temporary resting in the picture can recognize their previous body, and move into the ash. The relatives will then sort the remains into urn(s). There are additional rituals to be performed, once again water is poured from a full glass into an empty glass; candles are lit; food is given; and gift for the monks, which also need to clean the house where the deceased lived. That will be done with white cotton strings, a sort of barrier so any errant spirit(s) cannot come back and take "dwelling" there.

 

 

I saw most of that at my FIL cremation though I only went in the evenings but less at my MIL cremation.\

 

I wasn't asked directly for any financial contribution though my wife may have made one for our family.