Funeral / Cremation Costs

[superal]

A member of my Thai family is very ill and it is only a matter of time till he passes . Now all of a sudden my partner is very scared because of the costs involved . I said to her , surely your brother & sister who both have good jobs can fund the costs . No was the reply as they not have money because they already borrow money from the bank and cannot get any more money .  OK . I am thinking it will not be too much money involved but from what I gather I am wrong and the costs are substantial  . Can anyone throw some light on the subject from recent experiences ?  Searched  and only post was 8 years ago so up to date info would be appreciated .   

[steven100]

It is the gathering for 3 days after for food, drink etc ... that is the cost,   however ... correct me if I'm wrong but don't the attendees to the funeral provide an envelope with 1,000 baht inside which should cover the costs   ???

[thaibeachlovers]

17 minutes ago, steven100 said:

It is the gathering for 3 days after for food, drink etc ... that is the cost,   however ... correct me if I'm wrong but don't the attendees to the funeral provide an envelope with 1,000 baht inside which should cover the costs   ???

I didn't get back one satang from any envelopes that may have been given, despite having funded the greatest part of my MIL's ceremony/ feeding the village etc.

The OP should not count on it.

 

OP, the feeding of the village and the giving of expensive gifts to the monks is entirely for family face ( bigger the feast and more expensive the gifts the more face they get. You get nothing being just the farang ), and YOU are not beholden to fund it. I suggest you offer to pay for the ACTUAL costs, and leave it up to the family as to how much face they want.

If you opt to pay for everything, that is down to you, but don't expect anything back, and don't complain after ( now that you know ).

 

Re the actual days of the ceremony, I strongly suggest you arrange to only show up on the last day, as unless you know the people ( I'm assuming villagers, but could be city folk ) and can converse in Thai, you will probably feel isolated, and more bored than ever before in your life.

 

PS. You say "your partner". If not married you are not obligated to give them anything at all, but to be nice you could offer to pay for the actual burning, but nothing else ie monks, feed etc.

Edited December 27, 2017 by thaibeachlovers

[lopburi3]

The costs can vary greatly and there was a recent thread on this so you might want to do a search.  Believe 100k was the normal local insurance payment (for (mostly poor) people that pay into such a fund) as a great deal more could be spent.  Of course it would change by area of the country and economic status so do not believe there is any right/wrong.  Sometimes it is a joint family effort but for others one person will take on all expense (normally with agreement that all donations/envelops go to them).

[lopburi3]

1 hour ago, steven100 said:

It is the gathering for 3 days after for food, drink etc ... that is the cost,   however ... correct me if I'm wrong but don't the attendees to the funeral provide an envelope with 1,000 baht inside which should cover the costs   ???

Very few donations will be in that range (direct family maybe).  Most neighbors/village will be much less and even down to 20 baht notes.  While it may cover costs for some with large families/many who looked up to them - for most it will help but not cover.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Brother sister partner no money, so farang mug to the rescue.

 

Don't you people have any self respect, or at least your own parents to take care of?

[lopburi3]

6 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

Brother sister partner no money, so farang mug to the rescue.

 

Don't you people have any self respect, or at least your own parents to take care of?

Actually believe our self respect is based greatly on our concern for our loved ones.  

[GarryP]

When I held the funeral for my wife it cost about Baht 40,000. This was in Bangkok and covered temple and monk costs, as well as food and sundries.  I made the arrangements with the temple myself. The whole thing lasted three days.  All costs were recovered from donations given by those who attended.  

[theguyfromanotherforum]

4 minutes ago, lopburi3 said:

Actually believe our self respect is based greatly on our concern for our loved ones.  

 

Well if their own children could not be arsed to arrange for their parents funeral it is pretty clear where the respect lies in this picture.

 

It's ok...a mug can open his wallet. No biggie

[phuketrichard]

2 hours ago, GarryP said:

When I held the funeral for my wife it cost about Baht 40,000. This was in Bangkok and covered temple and monk costs, as well as food and sundries.  I made the arrangements with the temple myself. The whole thing lasted three days.  All costs were recovered from donations given by those who attended.  

how long ago was that? friend just died last week,for everything including cremation and monks 120,000 baht
here's the US embassy info page,,,https://th.usembassy.gov/u-s-citizen-services/death-of-a-u-s-citizen/ would assume for a thai it would be much easier./cheaper. If I  were u, i'd let the thai side handle everything. as anytime a Farang is involved  all of a sudden the costs go up

 

[GarryP]

43 minutes ago, phuketrichard said:

how long ago was that? friend just died last week,for everything including cremation and monks 120,000 baht
here's the US embassy info page,,,https://th.usembassy.gov/u-s-citizen-services/death-of-a-u-s-citizen/ would assume for a thai it would be much easier./cheaper. If I  were u, i'd let the thai side handle everything. as anytime a Farang is involved  all of a sudden the costs go up

 

Four years ago. At a large temple along Sukhumvit.  My wife was Thai. Not true about costs going up because of being a foreigner, but then I can speak Thai so do not need to rely on Thais to do these things for me.  It cost about the same when I arranged my daughter's funeral at the same temple about 10 years ago.  I also handled that one as my wife was too depressed to handle arrangements. 

[PoorSucker]

Seven days, whole village for FIL funeral 6 months ago. 

200.000 baht, covered by village funeral fund and life insurance. 

 

Another 50.000 for remembrance 100 days later. 

 

If not part of funeral fund and no insurance, death can be expensive. 

[jacko45k]

18 hours ago, GarryP said:

When I held the funeral for my wife it cost about Baht 40,000. This was in Bangkok and covered temple and monk costs, as well as food and sundries.  I made the arrangements with the temple myself. The whole thing lasted three days.  All costs were recovered from donations given by those who attended.  

That is exactly the same number I would have come up with as it matches some recent experience.

Of course it can be as much as a person is prepared to spend too, depend on the number of days 'in state' food and refreshments laid on and the temple itself.

 

I am a little concerned the OP is being taken advantage of as the expense should be borne by the immediate family. There may be a few envelopes that help with the cost, but it is rare to come out ahead, rural villagers cannot afford much, but they sure can enjoy someone else's largesse without any qualms.

 

OP, donate whatever you feel comfortable with and insist that the family cover any shortfall and then keep your head down.

[catman20]

18 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

Well if their own children could not be arsed to arrange for their parents funeral it is pretty clear where the respect lies in this picture.

 

It's ok...a mug can open his wallet. No biggie

like your style.

[12DrinkMore]

20 hours ago, steven100 said:

correct me if I'm wrong but don't the attendees to the funeral provide an envelope with 1,000 baht inside which should cover the costs 

 

 

Now I wonder who told you that?

 

 

[Weeboon Happiness Team]

In case you need a tool to receive some financial support for your cause there is www.weeboon.com 

[shackleton]

We have just had the funeral of my Thai brother in law 

at the local village Temple 

the total cost was about 100000 baht this included food for the people attending every evening over the 5 days 

plus money for the monks flowers and costs for the Temple electric water ect 

Depending on how big the temple and people attending costs will vary

[Kerryd]

If I recall, I paid about 80,000 baht for a "one day" ceremony in Pattaya when my dad died back in 2010. We did the ceremony at the Dham Samakhee temple close to the intersection of South Pattaya Road and Sukhumvit.
His "female companion" wanted a 3 day ceremony (more face for her of course and greater expense for me). However the temple said no because dad had been "on ice" too long already (he passed on just before a weekend so it took a couple extra days to get all the paperwork from City Hall and the Embassy). We moved him to the temple 6 days after he'd died, did the ceremony that day and they cremated him that night.

I believe the costs will vary significantly based on the size of the temple and it's location (and length/grandeur of ceremony). 

It is very likely that the actual costs were a lot less than 80,000 as I believe his companion was adding a hefty percentage to the cost for her "efforts" at arranging things. I have no idea if anyone donated anything as I wouldn't have even asked them to personally. She would have just taken all the donations any ways.

Years earlier I had attended another ceremony at that same temple for a guy that was friends of some of my friends. That was a 3 day event. I recall that the day everyone went to view the body, the widow was outside with a "donation bowl" and after people had paid their respects they would deposit some cash in the bowl. Most of the donations were of the 20 or 100 baht varieties. No envelopes and I didn't notice anything larger than a 100 (but I didn't look that closely either). 

Keep in mind that if you pay for one funeral, you will quite likely be expected to pay for every one that comes after that as well. Personally, I'd say (if it's the mother or father in-law) that the 3 siblings split the cost and you cover your partner's share (but make sure her "share" isn't the whole amount) ! The temple should be able to provide a written receipt showing the total cost of the ceremony.
I'd get that sorted sooner than later so there are no surprises and so that if someone comes along and quotes a price that is a lot higher than what the temple quoted, you'll know if they are trying to take you for a ride.

[GarryP]

4 minutes ago, Kerryd said:

If I recall, I paid about 80,000 baht for a "one day" ceremony in Pattaya when my dad died back in 2010. We did the ceremony at the Dham Samakhee temple close to the intersection of South Pattaya Road and Sukhumvit.
His "female companion" wanted a 3 day ceremony (more face for her of course and greater expense for me). However the temple said no because dad had been "on ice" too long already (he passed on just before a weekend so it took a couple extra days to get all the paperwork from City Hall and the Embassy). We moved him to the temple 6 days after he'd died, did the ceremony that day and they cremated him that night.

I believe the costs will vary significantly based on the size of the temple and it's location (and length/grandeur of ceremony). 

It is very likely that the actual costs were a lot less than 80,000 as I believe his companion was adding a hefty percentage to the cost for her "efforts" at arranging things. I have no idea if anyone donated anything as I wouldn't have even asked them to personally. She would have just taken all the donations any ways.

Years earlier I had attended another ceremony at that same temple for a guy that was friends of some of my friends. That was a 3 day event. I recall that the day everyone went to view the body, the widow was outside with a "donation bowl" and after people had paid their respects they would deposit some cash in the bowl. Most of the donations were of the 20 or 100 baht varieties. No envelopes and I didn't notice anything larger than a 100 (but I didn't look that closely either). 

Keep in mind that if you pay for one funeral, you will quite likely be expected to pay for every one that comes after that as well. Personally, I'd say (if it's the mother or father in-law) that the 3 siblings split the cost and you cover your partner's share (but make sure her "share" isn't the whole amount) ! The temple should be able to provide a written receipt showing the total cost of the ceremony.
I'd get that sorted sooner than later so there are no surprises and so that if someone comes along and quotes a price that is a lot higher than what the temple quoted, you'll know if they are trying to take you for a ride.

The larger temples often have an office which handles house blessings, funerals and other such activities. The temple I used is a famous temple  near Udomsuk and they had schedules with all the charges set out. The temple also handled catering so you have a choice of the types and price of food served. 

 

To be honest, I am shocked at the prices being quoted for upcountry temples. 100,000 seems excessive when it cost me much less than that in Bangkok, all inclusive for a three day funeral.  

[Kerryd]

1 minute ago, GarryP said:

The larger temples often have an office which handles house blessings, funerals and other such activities. The temple I used is a famous temple  near Udomsuk and they had schedules with all the charges set out. The temple also handled catering so you have a choice of the types and price of food served. 

 

To be honest, I am shocked at the prices being quoted for upcountry temples. 100,000 seems excessive when it cost me much less than that in Bangkok, all inclusive for a three day funeral.  

Like you mentioned in your earlier post, you made the arrangements yourself (and they had posted schedules). I would have probably saved a lot as well had I made the arrangements. I was pressed for time and didn't have a clue what to do or where to go back then though so it was easier to let his companion make the arrangements. Knowing what I know now though....................

[GarryP]

4 minutes ago, Kerryd said:

Like you mentioned in your earlier post, you made the arrangements yourself (and they had posted schedules). I would have probably saved a lot as well had I made the arrangements. I was pressed for time and didn't have a clue what to do or where to go back then though so it was easier to let his companion make the arrangements. Knowing what I know now though....................

Sorry,  I didn't mean to infer you paid too much. I can sort of understand higher costs in other cities such as Haadyai, Chiangmai, Pattaya, etc. In your case it is understandable.  It was some of the other posters who are talking about village temple funerals and having to pay 100,000 up. 

[Kerryd]

16 minutes ago, GarryP said:

Sorry,  I didn't mean to infer you paid too much. I can sort of understand higher costs in other cities such as Haadyai, Chiangmai, Pattaya, etc. In your case it is understandable.  It was some of the other posters who are talking about village temple funerals and having to pay 100,000 up. 

Lol - no problems. I didn't think you were trying to infer anything. I was just pointing out that if I'd done things myself, like you did, I'd have probably ended up paying a lot less.

 

Same for those "up country" ceremonies. The Thais I know that live "up country" couldn't afford 100,000 every time a family member passed on so you've got to believe the actual costs are considerably less and that someone is taking advantage of whoever is footing the bill. 

Might even be worth simply making the suggestion that "the price seems a little high so I think I'll go to another temple and see what they charge". Could find that suddenly the price drops (without anyone even going to the temple and talking to the monks) !

[lopburi3]

35 minutes ago, GarryP said:

To be honest, I am shocked at the prices being quoted for upcountry temples. 100,000 seems excessive when it cost me much less than that in Bangkok, all inclusive for a three day funeral.  

Suspect the food/drink bill, with often a lot more participants, upcountry staying all day and night might account for added cost.  In Bangkok it is normally an hour or two each evening and not as many people.

Edited December 28, 2017 by lopburi3

[KhunMhee]

1 hour ago, lopburi3 said:

Suspect the food/drink bill, with often a lot more participants, upcountry staying all day and night might account for added cost.  In Bangkok it is normally an hour or two each evening and not as many people.

I wonder then if it's about paying respect to the deceased or just a reason to have a weekend outing. Doubt if surveyed many would answer. I guess tradition is tradition though and death and proper send offs are a big part of society here as well.

[F4UCorsair]

22 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

Well if their own children could not be arsed to arrange for their parents funeral it is pretty clear where the respect lies in this picture.

 

It's ok...a mug can open his wallet. No biggie

Agreed.

 

OP, If you weren't on the scene, and there was no other foreigner to lean on, who would pay?

 

Don't be a sucker.  You pay this one, and they have you on a string.

 

No respect being shown here, only disrespect.....for the foreigner they want to milk.

 

Split the VALIDATED costs between siblings and spouse, and pay your partner's share, no more.

Edited December 28, 2017 by F4UCorsair

[swissbie]

2 hours ago, lopburi3 said:

Suspect the food/drink bill, with often a lot more participants, upcountry staying all day and night might account for added cost.  In Bangkok it is normally an hour or two each evening and not as many people.

Some years ago an in-law died here in Songkhla province, 7 days and many people. No village fund, no insurance, but all coasts had been covered by participants (envelopes). 2 weeks ago my wife's sister died, 3 days funeral in Bankok, had not much family/friends left, about 60000 Baht all in all (the upcoming 100-days-event included). Could be arranged for about 20000 Baht, no upper limit.

[khunPer]

On 12/27/2017 at 6:39 AM, superal said:

Can anyone throw some light on the subject from recent experiences ? Searched  and only post was 8 years ago so up to date info would be appreciated .

Depending of the length of the ceremony, and how much "face" the family need to make – question of social status in the local community – count somewhere between 30,000 baht and 100,000 baht (however, can be more). Location is also a matter, as some areas can be more expensive than others; i.e. at some tourist destinations costs are (much) higher than up rural Isaan.

 

A daughter with a farang boyfriend/partner will be expected to help with funeral expenses – or pay a major part – and may loose face, if not.

 

There is a recently new thread about "Thai funeral customs" that might be of (great) interest for you, sa number of posters also mentions funeral costs...

[Dene16]

4 hours ago, GarryP said:

It was some of the other posters who are talking about village temple funerals and having to pay 100,000 up. 

My GF pays for insurance/life insurance to cover the cost for her parents funeral as she has always stated that the cost will be 100000 baht up. (a typical 5 day village ceremony). Supposedly shared with her brothers but i believe i am paying all of it 

The insurance only pays out 6 months after the funeral or only 50% before and 50% 6 months later.

 

[lensta]

Not that I have any intention of falling off the perch any time soon, but  I am also wondering

about the cost of the cremation. I am non religious and want non of the usual bs.

Die - burn - end of story. Does anyone have any idea if it can be done and the cost

involved?

[prakhonchai nick]

The "envelopes" generally contain between 20 and 200baht. The more popular the deceased was amongst the locals, the more envelopes there will be.

 

With food and drink available until the day of the cremation (and usually the day after as well) many people neither you nor many in the family had  seen for years will attend, give their 20baht donation, and drink and eat for the next 3 days. They will probably take bags of food home with them for their extended family as well.

 

Absolutely no need to feed all the neighbours, but the family will insist on it. It's all about FACE, in which case let them pay! Best to just keep out of it..

 

As for the 100day event, this is all about FACE too, and who can put on the biggest and best event Likhae, live bands with dancing girls, boxing are all part of this event, which is provided largely because the deceased liked it, but sadly the poor deceased bugger will not be there to see it!.  The bigger it is the more problems are caused by it. Local gang warfare is common, with shootings and injuries at a recent event in my locale. That is no way to respect the dead!