Thai women going from farang back to Thai men?

[Destiny1990]

After the farang has become broke i do not see any obstacles for these ladies to go back to a Thai man.

[The manic]

8 minutes ago, Thai Ron said:

With that kind of opinion, shouldn't you be fighting the jihad for Islamic State in a sandpit somewhere?

Based on 30 years experience in Thailand, going out at night a lot, talking to many Thai over three decades, travelling all round Thailand, watching my friends go on the hunt for a date at night clubs and Hi So venues and ending up with Hi So whores. Understand the subtext of peoples status and how they achieved it, self emplyed but with murky past. I knew one guy who dated a Thai women but he was chapereoned by her family for the first few dates before he married her. I know others and they still had to provide all the money - house etc. Others who thought they were on firm ground were being cheated on. The fact is: no Thai families want their daughter to marry a farang. They want a light skinned Thai Chinese boy.  In Thai culture women who sleep around may be lower on thesocial scale than whores. Get the stars out of your eyes lad!

[seancbk]

2 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

I remain skeptical about claims that workplace romances are a main driver behind foreign guy - Thai women relationships. First off, of all the foreign men in Thailand, what percentage fall into a age 25-40 working in Thailand demographic? I'd argue that the percentage is very small. Yes, people hook up in an office setting, but given that the majority of foreign men working here are here on a temporary or non-permanent basis, and that the same inhibitions about getting involved with co-workers exist here as they do back home, language barriers, limited off-hours free time, etc., I have my doubts about how often this is happening in real life.

 

All of my Farang friends here fall into the living here permanently category, either working in well paid jobs or running successful businesses.  

[The manic]

1 hour ago, seancbk said:

 

All of my Farang friends here fall into the living here permanently category, either working in well paid jobs or running successful businesses.  

Then they may be in with a chance. They have money. 

[MaeJoMTB]

1 hour ago, seancbk said:

All of my Farang friends here fall into the living here permanently category, either working in well paid jobs or running successful businesses.  

I have friends that aren't white, but still mostly retired or offshore workers.

Was hiking with a Mongolian chap yesterday.

 

Not all of us care about the colour of a person's skin.

[amvet]

6 hours ago, Thai Ron said:

Meh

Cute but distinctly bread and butter compared to the women to be seen around places like Thonglor and Ekkamai of an evening.

She is a ladyboy who was dating a major Thai TV star.  I thought one of you experts would have noticed that it is normal for ladyboys to date important people and the difference between a lady and a ladyboy. 

[Ron19]

Crude post removed

[atyclb]

39 minutes ago, amvet said:

She is a ladyboy who was dating a major Thai TV star.  I thought one of you experts would have noticed that it is normal for ladyboys to date important people and the difference between a lady and a ladyboy. 

 

there was something a bit fishy but i just couldnt put my finger on it.

 

guess you have .  thanks

[Gecko123]

3 hours ago, seancbk said:

 

All of my Farang friends here fall into the living here permanently category, either working in well paid jobs or running successful businesses.  

Here's a question I have for you, and I'm honestly interested in hearing your and anyone else's response who feels you have described their experiences in Thailand.

 

In this and an earlier post you describe a demographic of men aged 25-40 who work here full-time on a reasonably permanent basis, and whose work provides social opportunites to interact with and become romantically involved with Thai women who are financially successful and well-educated as well. Fair enough. But here's what I don't get.

 

Regarding the above male demographic, I understand that young men sometimes come here and teach English, maybe open up a B&B or a restaurant, try their hand at import-export or maybe start a consulting firm, or come to work in fields where their skills are in demand, but with all the work restrictions and less than 50% ownership rules, pay levels below what could be typically earned in the West, and the language barriers,  etc., I really question the number of men here who fit the above demographic.

 

Regarding the women you say you are dating, in my experience, in the majority of Asian corporations advancement is very dependent on senority. In other words, you have to spend years in the trenches before you qualify for a senior position, and the accompanying pay grade. So if you are describing Thai women who have managed to climb the corporate ladder, are you referring to older more mature women who have established careers, or are you talking about dating mail room, secretarial and other clerical staff in the corporation?

 

If you are talking about an older woman who has worked her way up through the ranks, I have found that in most cases those women have married and started families long ago in their early to mid-20's, and tend to stay married because both her and her spouse's lifestyle depends on staying married. If you are referring to dating support staff and underlings, if their main motivation for dating you is that you offer the prospect of a brighter financial future and possible immigration to the West, do you really think that is much different from that same girl going down to Sukumvit after work and hanging around areas known to have large numbers of foreign male tourists in the hopes of finding a foreign husband?

 

In my experience, unless you have been here from the beginning of time or really put down some serious roots here, an air of impermance hangs around most foreigners here. In a work environment, this air of impermanence would only add risk to getting involved with a foreign co-worker. If you get reassigned or decide to repatriate, wouldn't that irreperably damage the left-behind girl's work reputation?

Edited January 12, 2018 by Gecko123

[speedtripler]

39 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

Here's a question I have for you, and I'm honestly interested in hearing your and anyone else's response who feels you have described their experiences in Thailand.

 

In this and an earlier post you describe a demographic of men aged 25-40 who work here full-time on a reasonably permanent basis, and whose work provides social opportunites to interact with and become romantically involved with Thai women who are financially successful and well-educated as well. Fair enough. But here's what I don't get.

 

Regarding the above male demographic, I understand that young men sometimes come here and teach English, maybe open up a B&B or a restaurant, try their hand at import-export or maybe start a consulting firm, or come to work in fields where their skills are in demand, but with all the work restrictions and less than 50% ownership rules, pay levels below what could be typically earned in the West, and the language barriers,  etc., I really question the number of men here who fit the above demographic.

 

Regarding the women you say you are dating, in my experience, in the majority of Asian corporations advancement is very dependent on senority. In other words, you have to spend years in the trenches before you qualify for a senior position, and the accompanying pay grade. So if you are describing Thai women who have managed to climb the corporate ladder, are you referring to older more mature women who have established careers, or are you talking about dating mail room, secretarial and other clerical staff in the corporation?

 

If you are talking about an older woman who has worked her way up through the ranks, I have found that in most cases those women have married and started families long ago in their early to mid-20's, and tend to stay married because both her and her spouse's lifestyle depends on staying married. If you are referring to dating support staff and underlings, if their main motivation for dating you is that you offer the prospect of a brighter financial future and possible immigration to the West, do you really think that is much different from that same girl going down to Sukumvit after work and hanging around areas known to have large numbers of foreign male tourists in the hopes of finding a foreign husband?

 

In my experience, unless you have been here from the beginning of time or really put down some serious roots here, an air of impermance hangs around most foreigners here. In a work environment, this air of impermanence would only add risk to getting involved with a foreign co-worker. If you get reassigned or decide to repatriate, wouldn't that irreperably damage the left-behind girl's work reputation?

Any real English teacher who isn't here for the pu$$y could be paid a LOT more teaching almost anywhere else..... 

 

[Thai Ron]

4 hours ago, The manic said:

Based on 30 years experience in Thailand, going out at night a lot, talking to many Thai over three decades, travelling all round Thailand, watching my friends go on the hunt for a date at night clubs and Hi So venues and ending up with Hi So whores. Understand the subtext of peoples status and how they achieved it, self emplyed but with murky past. I knew one guy who dated a Thai women but he was chapereoned by her family for the first few dates before he married her. I know others and they still had to provide all the money - house etc. Others who thought they were on firm ground were being cheated on. The fact is: no Thai families want their daughter to marry a farang. They want a light skinned Thai Chinese boy.  In Thai culture women who sleep around may be lower on thesocial scale than whores. Get the stars out of your eyes lad!

 

I don't care how long you've been parked in Thailand; you obviously ain't learned much and you obviously don't like women very much.

Were you cut open by a Thai bird or summat?

 

A very good friend of mine, farang chap 33, from Australia, who runs a small offshoot of True Corporation, married his wife here a couple of years ago.

Her very traditional family with a highly successful textiles business actively pressed her to marry him for the simple reason that he made her so happy.

I know several other guys dating hi so women and they're not whores thank you

 

I'd suggest you get out of the shithole bars but you're probably far too old to change.

Best stay where you are

 

[dfdgfdfdgs]

5 hours ago, The manic said:

Based on 30 years experience in Thailand, going out at night a lot, talking to many Thai over three decades, travelling all round Thailand, watching my friends go on the hunt for a date at night clubs and Hi So venues and ending up with Hi So whores. Understand the subtext of peoples status and how they achieved it, self emplyed but with murky past. I knew one guy who dated a Thai women but he was chapereoned by her family for the first few dates before he married her. I know others and they still had to provide all the money - house etc. Others who thought they were on firm ground were being cheated on. The fact is: no Thai families want their daughter to marry a farang. They want a light skinned Thai Chinese boy.  In Thai culture women who sleep around may be lower on thesocial scale than whores. Get the stars out of your eyes lad!

 

I think times are changing now and young Thai women care less about tradition.  They are becoming more westernised, from TV and films and music and through the sheer number of foreigners in Thailand.  It's more acceptable (to them not necessarily for their parents) to have sex with lots of different guys.  If money/frequent gifts do not change hands then that can't be considered whoring, rather just a male and a female that like each other and aren't afraid to show it.  Plenty of girls from Europe and US that have sex with a different guy every weekend, are they whores?

[speedtripler]

9 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Good for you.

But I don't want a woman past her best.

 

Are you still at your "best" ?   

[dfdgfdfdgs]

Most men are sluts, so why shouldn't the women be.

[speedtripler]

Just now, dfdgfdfdgs said:

Most men are sluts, so why shouldn't the women be.

Be careful what you wish for! 

 

 

[seancbk]

3 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

5 hours ago, seancbk said:

All of my Farang friends here fall into the living here permanently category, either working in well paid jobs or running successful businesses.  

I have friends that aren't white, but still mostly retired or offshore workers.

Was hiking with a Mongolian chap yesterday.

 

Not all of us care about the colour of a person's skin.

 

Where did anyone mention skin colour?
 

[richard_smith237]

1 hour ago, Gecko123 said:

Here's a question I have for you, and I'm honestly interested in hearing your and anyone else's response who feels you have described their experiences in Thailand.

 

In this and an earlier post you describe a demographic of men aged 25-40 who work here full-time on a reasonably permanent basis, and whose work provides social opportunites to interact with and become romantically involved with Thai women who are financially successful and well-educated as well. Fair enough. But here's what I don't get.

 

Regarding the above male demographic, I understand that young men sometimes come here and teach English, maybe open up a B&B or a restaurant, try their hand at import-export or maybe start a consulting firm, or come to work in fields where their skills are in demand, but with all the work restrictions and less than 50% ownership rules, pay levels below what could be typically earned in the West, and the language barriers,  etc., I really question the number of men here who fit the above demographic.

 

Regarding the women you say you are dating, in my experience, in the majority of Asian corporations advancement is very dependent on senority. In other words, you have to spend years in the trenches before you qualify for a senior position, and the accompanying pay grade. So if you are describing Thai women who have managed to climb the corporate ladder, are you referring to older more mature women who have established careers, or are you talking about dating mail room, secretarial and other clerical staff in the corporation?

 

If you are talking about an older woman who has worked her way up through the ranks, I have found that in most cases those women have married and started families long ago in their early to mid-20's, and tend to stay married because both her and her spouse's lifestyle depends on staying married. If you are referring to dating support staff and underlings, if their main motivation for dating you is that you offer the prospect of a brighter financial future and possible immigration to the West, do you really think that is much different from that same girl going down to Sukumvit after work and hanging around areas known to have large numbers of foreign male tourists in the hopes of finding a foreign husband?

 

In my experience, unless you have been here from the beginning of time or really put down some serious roots here, an air of impermance hangs around most foreigners here. In a work environment, this air of impermanence would only add risk to getting involved with a foreign co-worker. If you get reassigned or decide to repatriate, wouldn't that irreperably damage the left-behind girl's work reputation?

 

Think more along the lines of guys working as Lawyers, Hotel Management, Geologists, Journalists, Engineers, Security Consultants, Managers of International Companies... All of whom came here in there 20's or early 30's and have put down roots... 

 

These guys are dating / married to women of a similar age who are: Lawyers, Architects, Designers, Interior Designers, Flight attendants, dentists, working for or running the family business. One of my friends dated a Judge (an attractive young lady in her early 30's). 

 

These are actual cases I know of first hand (and including myself). 

 

 

I would also agree with you that roots have to be put down and a sense of permanence is established before someone is taken seriously. 

 

In most cases the 'relationship' started at work or was from an introduction in a restaurant or club (i.e. at someones birthday party). 

 

Its just normal people meeting normal people - I have a little difficulty understanding why here on Thai visa people think this is not the case. Perhaps its just too difficult for other people to see the 'other side'..... 

 

[Berkshire]

2 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

These guys are dating / married to women of a similar age who are: Lawyers, Architects, Designers, Interior Designers, Flight attendants, dentists, working for or running the family business. One of my friends dated a Judge (an attractive young lady in her early 30's). 

 

These are actual cases I know of first hand (and including myself).

 

I think you're mostly talking about what I would term "exception to the rule."  Yes, there are some farangs married to "successful" Thai women.  But in nearly all cases, these women are older and/or not particularly attractive.  Personally, I'd prefer a younger, attractive, honest, and not so successful Thai gal. 

 

If there are truly successful AND attractive Thai women with farangs, I frankly have not seen many first-hand.  Perhaps they're out there.  They just seem to be about as rare as the dodo bird. 

[seancbk]

6 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

Think more along the lines of guys working as Lawyers, Hotel Management, Geologists, Journalists, Engineers, Security Consultants, Managers of International Companies... All of whom came here in there 20's or early 30's and have put down roots... 

 

These guys are dating / married to women of a similar age who are: Lawyers, Architects, Designers, Interior Designers, Flight attendants, dentists, working for or running the family business. One of my friends dated a Judge (an attractive young lady in her early 30's). 

 

These are actual cases I know of first hand (and including myself).

 

I would also agree with you that roots have to be put down and a sense of permanence is established before someone is taken seriously. 

 

In most cases the 'relationship' started at work or was from an introduction in a restaurant or club (i.e. at someones birthday party). 

 

Its just normal people meeting normal people - I have a little difficulty understanding why here on Thai visa people think this is not the case. Perhaps its just too difficult for other people to see the 'other side'..... 

 

 

Thank you.  Finally someone who doesn't get all their info from talking to other blokes on a barstool.  

 

[seancbk]

4 hours ago, Berkshire said:

I think you're mostly talking about what I would term "exception to the rule."  Yes, there are some farangs married to "successful" Thai women.  But in nearly all cases, these women are older and/or not particularly attractive.  Personally, I'd prefer a younger, attractive, honest, and not so successful Thai gal. 

 

If there are truly successful AND attractive Thai women with farangs, I frankly have not seen many first-hand.  Perhaps they're out there.  They just seem to be about as rare as the dodo bird. 

 

I'd hazard a guess that the reason you haven't seen them is you don't go to the right places.  

Perhaps join the Pacific City Club  - you'll meet quality people there, both Thai and Farang.  http://www.pacificcityclub.com

 

 

[dfdgfdfdgs]

Most farang with Thai girls fit the stereotype (big age gap/ex-bar girl/tattoos, dark skin/single mum who can't get a thai bf etc).  I'd wager that (especially in high season) those type of guys outnumber the professionals about 10 to 1.

 

Looking around it's rare to see a farang guy in a suit alongside a well-dressed Thai lady that doesn't look like she's being paid to be there (I know it's wrong to judge but 95% of the time you're right).  You can spot a golddigger a mile off.

 

But maybe I spend too much time around Onnut and not enough around Ploen Chit and Thong Lor.

 

I'm sure professional guys in Thailand long-term are meeting and marrying their equivalent in the opposite gender, but in much smaller numbers.

[seancbk]

6 minutes ago, dfdgfdfdgs said:

Most farang with Thai girls fit the stereotype (big age gap/ex-bar girl/tattoos, dark skin/single mum who can't get a thai bf etc).  I'd wager that (especially in high season) those type of guys outnumber the professionals about 10 to 1.

 

Looking around it's rare to see a farang guy in a suit alongside a well-dressed Thai lady that doesn't look like she's being paid to be there (I know it's wrong to judge but 95% of the time you're right).  You can spot a golddigger a mile off.

 

But maybe I spend too much time around Onnut and not enough around Ploen Chit and Thong Lor.

 

I'm sure professional guys in Thailand long-term are meeting and marrying their equivalent in the opposite gender, but in much smaller numbers.

 

Those types of guys outnumber high earning professional expats probably 1000 to 1.   But it doesn't mean they aren't here and that they aren't dating and marrying well educated, young, attractive women.

I'd wager you are not spending enough time in Ploenchit and Thonglor. 

[JLCrab]

EXPAT SOCIETY - THAILAND

From bigwig business leaders through to purveyors of the arts, these are the expats at the vanguard of 21st century Thailand

http://www.thailandtatler.com/tatler-list/expat-society-300

[Gecko123]

7 hours ago, seancbk said:

 

I'd hazard a guess that the reason you haven't seen them is you don't go to the right places.  

Perhaps join the Pacific City Club  - you'll meet quality people there, both Thai and Farang.  http://www.pacificcityclub.com

I'm calling pretentious BS on this one. Scrolling through 3 years of posts on the Pacific City Club Bangkok facebook feed this appears to be a club mainly for Bangkok business elites with a smattering of foreign businesses joining in the hopes of networking into the local business community. In the shots of banquets and people eating most of the time the tables were filled exclusively with Thai business types, maybe occasionally a foreign guy sitting or standing stiffly, looking like a tag along. One shot had a foreign guy in his early 30s standing beside a younger woman who might have been his girlfriend/fiancee/wife,  but other than that,  zippo evidence of foreign guy-Thai women couples. In addition, the ambiance of this club appeared to be so pretentious and snobby, I find it next to impossible to believe that it is a setting that would foster the forming of romantic liasons between foreign men and Thai women. And while there were a few decent looking Thai women in some of the shots, many of them were older and rather matronly which supports Berkshire's observations on an earlier post. Any other venues you care to share with us?

Edited January 13, 2018 by Gecko123

[Gecko123]

14 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

Think more along the lines of guys working as Lawyers, Hotel Management, Geologists, Journalists, Engineers, Security Consultants, Managers of International Companies... All of whom came here in there 20's or early 30's and have put down roots... 

 

These guys are dating / married to women of a similar age who are: Lawyers, Architects, Designers, Interior Designers, Flight attendants, dentists, working for or running the family business. One of my friends dated a Judge (an attractive young lady in her early 30's). 

 

These are actual cases I know of first hand (and including myself). 

 

 

I would also agree with you that roots have to be put down and a sense of permanence is established before someone is taken seriously. 

 

In most cases the 'relationship' started at work or was from an introduction in a restaurant or club (i.e. at someones birthday party). 

 

Its just normal people meeting normal people - I have a little difficulty understanding why here on Thai visa people think this is not the case. Perhaps its just too difficult for other people to see the 'other side'..... 

 

Appreciate your response.

[richard_smith237]

7 hours ago, dfdgfdfdgs said:

Most farang with Thai girls fit the stereotype (big age gap/ex-bar girl/tattoos, dark skin/single mum who can't get a thai bf etc).  I'd wager that (especially in high season) those type of guys outnumber the professionals about 10 to 1.

 

Looking around it's rare to see a farang guy in a suit alongside a well-dressed Thai lady that doesn't look like she's being paid to be there (I know it's wrong to judge but 95% of the time you're right).  You can spot a golddigger a mile off.

 

But maybe I spend too much time around Onnut and not enough around Ploen Chit and Thong Lor.

 

I'm sure professional guys in Thailand long-term are meeting and marrying their equivalent in the opposite gender, but in much smaller numbers.

 

Thats probably the crux of it - The 'mutually equal' relationships are out there.... 

 

You will see it today in the Malls of Bangkok, Emporium, EmQuartier, Paragon etc - family / Children's day... amongst the Thai families you will see mixed couples, where the lady (mum) looks 'well to do' the husband likely to be dressed quite casually in shorts & T-shirt on his day off...  You will also see the "big age gap/ex-bar girl/tattoos, dark skin/single mum who can't get a thai bf etc" dragging her offspring and Beer-Bellied Western BF / Spouse around in rubber shoes (crocks) and a football shirt... (apologies - harsh generalization from the post above, but its not untrue !!)... 

 

Perhaps the estimated statistic of 1:10 (quoted above) is fair...  In Bangkok I think its a fair estimate that 1:10 Western Guys are now in socio-economic-educationally balanced relationships and contrary to an earlier comment the lady in question is usually very attractive; unless the tattooed, gold-laden, ripped jeans, strapless heels bargirl look is your thing... 

 

 

 

[Gecko123]

1 hour ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

Thats probably the crux of it - The 'mutually equal' relationships are out there.... 

 

You will see it today in the Malls of Bangkok, Emporium, EmQuartier, Paragon etc - family / Children's day... amongst the Thai families you will see mixed couples, where the lady (mum) looks 'well to do' the husband likely to be dressed quite casually in shorts & T-shirt on his day off...  You will also see the "big age gap/ex-bar girl/tattoos, dark skin/single mum who can't get a thai bf etc" dragging her offspring and Beer-Bellied Western BF / Spouse around in rubber shoes (crocks) and a football shirt... (apologies - harsh generalization from the post above, but its not untrue !!)... 

 

Perhaps the estimated statistic of 1:10 (quoted above) is fair...  In Bangkok I think its a fair estimate that 1:10 Western Guys are now in socio-economic-educationally balanced relationships and contrary to an earlier comment the lady in question is usually very attractive; unless the tattooed, gold-laden, ripped jeans, strapless heels bargirl look is your thing... 

 

 

 

See that's the thing, Richard, I have spent plenty of time in Siam Square, Paragon Mall and in other malls around the city, and I DON'T see couples that fit your idylic description. Why I don't is a legitimate question, don't you think?

 

What I DO see are guys who think that just because their former bar girl wives are walking around in Laura Ashley summer dresses, Jimmy Choo shoes, and hoisting Gucci handbags that that gives them the right to look down on other foreign guy -Thai woman couples. Or guys that think that because their former bar girl wife has spent so much time abroad that all vestiges of her past have been erased and this makes them better than everyone else. Or that because they are with a woman closer to him in age that this insulates them from suspicion that his wife was a former bar girl. (FYI, there are plenty of older women working in bars).

 

I really get a chuckle out of guys who think the only prostitutes in Thailand fit the stereotype of a profane, tattooed woman, wobbling around on stilleto heels, diamond stud in her navel, expert at playing ping pong without a paddle. While you do on occasion see such women on the arm of guys as they drunkenly stagger back to a short-time hotel late at night, speaking as a 15 year veteran of living in rural Thailand, these women are only rarely seen as marriage material by the vast majority of men.

 

The truth is that there is so much casual prostitution here: university students, factory workers, office workers and professionals who decide to earn a little money on the weekends or after work, that I suspect that many of these guys bursting with moral rectitude and superiority, who love to speak with such scorn about bargirls as if they were a subhuman form of life, would go into catatonic shock were the truth about some of the women they see as the Virgin Mary, St Theresa, or the proverbial 'girl-next-door' ever to be revealed to them.

Edited January 13, 2018 by Gecko123

[Thai Ron]

2 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

See that's the thing, Richard, I have spent plenty of time in Siam Square, Paragon Mall and in other malls around the city, and I DON'T see couples that fit your idylic description. Why I don't is a legitimate question, don't you think?

 

What I DO see are guys who think that just because their former bar girl wives are walking around in Laura Ashley summer dresses, Jimmy Choo shoes, and hoisting Gucci handbags that that gives them the right to look down on other foreign guy -Thai woman couples. Or guys that think that because their former bar girl wife has spent so much time abroad that all vestiges of her past have been erased and this makes them better than everyone else. Or that because they are with a woman closer to him in age that this insulates them from suspicion that his wife was a former bar girl. (FYI, there are plenty of older women working in bars).

 

I really get a chuckle out of guys who think the only prostitutes in Thailand fit the stereotype of a profane, tattooed woman, wobbling around on stilleto heels, diamond stud in her navel, expert at playing ping pong without a paddle. While you do on occasion see such women on the arm of guys as they drunkenly stagger back to a short-time hotel late at night, speaking as a 15 year veteran of living in rural Thailand, these women are only rarely seen as marriage material by the vast majority of men.

 

The truth is that there is so much casual prostitution here: university students, factory workers, office workers and professionals who decide to earn a little money on the weekends or after work, that I suspect that many of these guys bursting with moral rectitude and superiority, who love to speak with such scorn about bargirls as if they were a subhuman form of life, would go into catatonic shock were the truth about some of the women they see as the Virgin Mary, St Theresa, or the proverbial 'girl-next-door' ever to be revealed to them.

If you weren't married to the woman you're married to now, would you be amenable to the idea of wedding a bargirl, then?

[seancbk]

4 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

I'm calling pretentious BS on this one. Scrolling through 3 years of posts on the Pacific City Club Bangkok facebook feed this appears to be a club mainly for Bangkok business elites with a smattering of foreign businesses joining in the hopes of networking into the local business community. In the shots of banquets and people eating most of the time the tables were filled exclusively with Thai business types, maybe occasionally a foreign guy sitting or standing stiffly, looking like a tag along. One shot had a foreign guy in his early 30s standing beside a younger woman who might have been his girlfriend/fiancee/wife,  but other than that,  zippo evidence of foreign guy-Thai women couples. In addition, the ambiance of this club appeared to be so pretentious and snobby, I find it next to impossible to believe that it is a setting that would foster the forming of romantic liasons between foreign men and Thai women. And while there were a few decent looking Thai women in some of the shots, many of them were older and rather matronly which supports Berkshire's observations on an earlier post. Any other venues you care to share with us?

 

I've been to a number of wine tastings there where there were a good number of nice young Thai women.   I use the club to have meetings as it's a good location and much nicer than meeting in somewhere like The Robin Hood or other similar pubs.   

If you want to socialise with the higher levels of society you need a way in, and a club like the PCC is a great way to meet people and then get invited to other events and places. 

If you don't ever rub shoulders with these people how would you expect to meet the young, educated, Thai women we were talking about?
 

 

[richard_smith237]

2 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

See that's the thing, Richard, I have spent plenty of time in Siam Square, Paragon Mall and in other malls around the city, and I DON'T see couples that fit your idylic description. Why I don't is a legitimate question, don't you think?

 

What I DO see are guys who think that just because their former bar girl wives are walking around in Laura Ashley summer dresses, Jimmy Choo shoes, and hoisting Gucci handbags that that gives them the right to look down on other foreign guy -Thai woman couples. Or guys that think that because their former bar girl wife has spent so much time abroad that all vestiges of her past have been erased and this makes them better than everyone else. Or that because they are with a woman closer to him in age that this insulates them from suspicion that his wife was a former bar girl. (FYI, there are plenty of older women working in bars).

 

I really get a chuckle out of guys who think the only prostitutes in Thailand fit the stereotype of a profane, tattooed woman, wobbling around on stilleto heels, diamond stud in her navel, expert at playing ping pong without a paddle. While you do on occasion see such women on the arm of guys as they drunkenly stagger back to a short-time hotel late at night, speaking as a 15 year veteran of living in rural Thailand, these women are only rarely seen as marriage material by the vast majority of men.

 

The truth is that there is so much casual prostitution here: university students, factory workers, office workers and professionals who decide to earn a little money on the weekends or after work, that I suspect that many of these guys bursting with moral rectitude and superiority, who love to speak with such scorn about bargirls as if they were a subhuman form of life, would go into catatonic shock were the truth about some of the women they see as the Virgin Mary, St Theresa, or the proverbial 'girl-next-door' ever to be revealed to them.

I see your point from the view point of being judgmental against others, no one really has that right... 

 

Which is kind of my point when identifying that there are numerous genuine relationships of equality around us and not drawing the assumption that everyone is full of it. 

 

It it would appear that your view of others is somewhat slanted towards a negative stereotype that Westerners can only achieve an ex-ho dressed up. I get your point, there certainly is a lot of that around... but there is also a lot of what I’ve been describing (equal relationships) around too... 

 

None of this makes anyone better or worse than anyone else. My points on this thread have always been in contrast to the theory voiced by some that Western Gus cannot date a Thai lady from similar Socio-economic-educational backgrounds... we can and we are, it’s all around us - if you can’t see that then perhaps your negative bias prevents you from seeing what are perfectly normal relationships around you.