Engaged to be Married.

[smotherb]

2 hours ago, Acemaker said:

Thats your opinion, i guess you got lucky, common sense says dont do it, not in this Bloody place, have a relationship by all means if thats what you need in your life, however making it all legal by Marriage is asking for a Boat load of Trouble if it goes Tits up further down the line,i find that those who remain single are far happier and content, and alot Richer!    

Once again, someone brings luck into it; a relationship is not a lottery. If you think a relationship is based on luck, you might as well give-up now. A relationship takes effort and commitment on both sides. Part of that effort has to be really getting to know the other person; identifying and evaluating their idiosyncrasies, their baggage and their bad habits, and making the decision with common sense rather than your libido. 

[Acemaker]

On 3/26/2018 at 6:19 PM, ChrisKC said:

This time I have done my homework and served my probation - in fact we both have.

Hmmm, That then begs the question why do you need to sign a piece of paper and get yourself all tangled up in the Legal system if it goes Titsup ? if you are so confident in your relationship then i dont really see the need for Marriage, unless of course her Family are involved here which is usually the case, just live together and be happy, Marriage has way to many pifalls these days its just no longer a sensible or viable concept,dont let your Heart rule your Head.

[tweedledee2]

    Some people make mistakes or poor choices in life and they can't consider or admit it was their fault. One will buy a new car then for lack of maintenance, have trouble with it, and tell anyone that might listen that it was a piece of junk. Scores of other people that own the same car are happy.  So upon hearing other owners praises, he makes it his personal quest to try to discourage others to not buy one. If only the car could tell it's side of the story.  

  

  

 . 

   

[sead]

On 2018-03-26 at 1:19 PM, ChrisKC said:

My wife to be is one of the most wonderful people I have ever met. Even though I have had two previous serious relationships, there is no way I would have married either of them. This time I have done my homework and served my probation - in fact we both have.

Well, My wife and all gf i had were the best and most wonderful. now I dont have a wife and gf......

[chicowoodduck]

Best advice....go back to Suvarnabhumi Airport and get your brain back and don not ever look back....you will thank me later...??????

[catman20]

On 26/03/2018 at 7:19 PM, ChrisKC said:

Thank you for your good wishes. If you met her, you would know why I feel so confident in our decision.

she different right ? God help me !

[DonnyT]

15 hours ago, smotherb said:

Once again, someone brings luck into it; a relationship is not a lottery. If you think a relationship is based on luck, you might as well give-up now. A relationship takes effort and commitment on both sides. Part of that effort has to be really getting to know the other person; identifying and evaluating their idiosyncrasies, their baggage and their bad habits, and making the decision with common sense rather than your libido. 

1. Why would anyone choose a sex partner using anything apart from their libido?

2. Good luck finding a woman prepared to put any effort in these days.

[The Theory]

If this marriage is not for visa then why are getting married ❗️

Good luck

 

[ChrisKC]

Thank you everyone for your useful information and advice.

[ChrisKC]

7 minutes ago, The Theory said:

If this marriage is not for visa then why are getting married ❗️

Good luck

 

That maybe the way you think, but it isn't my way.

[DonnyT]

10 minutes ago, The Theory said:

If this marriage is not for visa then why are getting married ❗️

Statistically marriage is 10x more lasting than co-habitation.

[The Theory]

11 minutes ago, ChrisKC said:

That maybe the way you think, but it isn't my way.

As I said :

good luck 

[ChrisKC]

1 minute ago, DonnyT said:

Statistically marriage is 10x more lasting than co-habitation.

We love each other. Getting married is the final statement of intent, commitment and promise that we want to be together and share everything:  our money, belongings, decisions, responsibilities, life's experiences.

 

My (real) lady is 59 and I am 73; not the typical Thai/farang scenario.

[The Theory]

14 minutes ago, DonnyT said:

Statistically marriage is 10x more lasting than co-habitation.

Good luck to you too. ?

[ChrisKC]

4 hours ago, chicowoodduck said:

Best advice....go back to Suvarnabhumi Airport and get your brain back and don not ever look back....you will thank me later...??????

Thank goodness that is only your opinion - and a cynical one at that! I attach no value to it!

[ChrisKC]

6 minutes ago, The Theory said:

As I said :

good luck 

Thank you, I appreciate that.

[smotherb]

3 hours ago, DonnyT said:

1. Why would anyone choose a sex partner using anything apart from their libido?

2. Good luck finding a woman prepared to put any effort in these days.

Well, DonnyT, you seem to have missed the point. Did you even read what I said or what this OP is about? We are not talking of simply getting a sex partner. I was specifically talking about entering a relationship.

[ChrisKC]

At the risk of being a pain: I have to make appointment at the British Embassy, Bangkok. What is the correct email address I should write to? Or do I contact them some other way?

 

Thank you

[tweedledee2]

30 minutes ago, ChrisKC said:

At the risk of being a pain: I have to make appointment at the British Embassy, Bangkok. What is the correct email address I should write to? Or do I contact them some other way?

 

Thank you

Why don't you go to the Embassy website for that info. 

[sandyf]

6 hours ago, ChrisKC said:

We love each other. Getting married is the final statement of intent, commitment and promise that we want to be together and share everything:  our money, belongings, decisions, responsibilities, life's experiences.

 

My (real) lady is 59 and I am 73; not the typical Thai/farang scenario.

About the same as me, I am 70 and my wife is 55, we will have been married ten years in July. Here in Thailand it is two separate events, I got married in July and had the wedding the following January.

Ignore the negative nellies, its your life so make the most of it, Good luck.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎3‎/‎28‎/‎2018 at 5:08 PM, smotherb said:

Got to agree with you to a point. I cannot believe it is luck of the draw more than getting to know the person and making the decision with the big head. Most of the "bad" marriages I have seen have resulted from behavior that was plainly exhibited before the marriage--on both parts.

I knew my wife a year before moving to LOS, and lived with her a year before getting married.

Are you saying that I married her despite her exhibiting the behaviour that brought about our divorce?

Never would have happened if she had been the shrieking harpy from hell that she became after marriage.

[smotherb]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I knew my wife a year before moving to LOS, and lived with her a year before getting married.

Are you saying that I married her despite her exhibiting the behaviour that brought about our divorce?

Never would have happened if she had been the shrieking harpy from hell that she became after marriage.

I do not know your specific circumstances; however, I'd wager that shrieking harpy was there, but you failed to notice it due to the satisfaction you were receiving in other areas.

[thaibeachlovers]

Just now, smotherb said:

I do not know your specific circumstances; however, I'd wager that shrieking harpy was there, but you failed to notice it due to the satisfaction you were receiving in other areas.

Obviously you have your opinion, but while it may be correct 99% of the time there are always exceptions.

My ex was delightful before we got married, and I don't think anyone is that good an actress to hide it for a year. However, given that hindsight is wonderful, where I went wrong was in agreeing to go live in the village, where the family got their hooks into her. Certainly, looking back, that was where our later problems stemmed from. She didn't become the shrieking harpy till 2 years later, when she was under a lot of pressure to get me to give her family money, and I would not. I'm guessing, but she was just too torn between me and her family and it destroyed her.

Other factors come into it, but I believe that had we stayed in Pattaya, we would still be together, the main reason being far away from her family.

I did become very dissatisfied when her nephews caused me problems and she always sided with them.

Our breakup wasn't a sudden thing, but a slow disintegration, brick by brick of our "house of love".

Perhaps some may have been able to see the seeds of destruction before we got married, but not I.

[catman20]

8 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Obviously you have your opinion, but while it may be correct 99% of the time there are always exceptions.

My ex was delightful before we got married, and I don't think anyone is that good an actress to hide it for a year. However, given that hindsight is wonderful, where I went wrong was in agreeing to go live in the village, where the family got their hooks into her. Certainly, looking back, that was where our later problems stemmed from. She didn't become the shrieking harpy till 2 years later, when she was under a lot of pressure to get me to give her family money, and I would not. I'm guessing, but she was just too torn between me and her family and it destroyed her.

Other factors come into it, but I believe that had we stayed in Pattaya, we would still be together, the main reason being far away from her family.

I did become very dissatisfied when her nephews caused me problems and she always sided with them.

Our breakup wasn't a sudden thing, but a slow disintegration, brick by brick of our "house of love".

Perhaps some may have been able to see the seeds of destruction before we got married, but not I.

sorry to hear your story, i find the best way is not to live together not get married. my g/f lives in bkk im in pattaya she works self employed commission only job, comes stays with me for a week then goes back to her job and life, it keep everything fresh and exciting for us both. i am happy when she get here and i happy when shes going back home. perfect for me

[luk AJ]

We, the people behind TV have the power to validate your marriage. Besides this we can provide you with
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- formulas on age difference
- advice on how to recognize lady boys
All this thanks to your TV membership!’


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[smotherb]

49 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Obviously you have your opinion, but while it may be correct 99% of the time there are always exceptions.

My ex was delightful before we got married, and I don't think anyone is that good an actress to hide it for a year. However, given that hindsight is wonderful, where I went wrong was in agreeing to go live in the village, where the family got their hooks into her. Certainly, looking back, that was where our later problems stemmed from. She didn't become the shrieking harpy till 2 years later, when she was under a lot of pressure to get me to give her family money, and I would not. I'm guessing, but she was just too torn between me and her family and it destroyed her.

Other factors come into it, but I believe that had we stayed in Pattaya, we would still be together, the main reason being far away from her family.

I did become very dissatisfied when her nephews caused me problems and she always sided with them.

Our breakup wasn't a sudden thing, but a slow disintegration, brick by brick of our "house of love".

Perhaps some may have been able to see the seeds of destruction before we got married, but not I.

Well, I agree there are always exceptions, but that is hardly the point. Your tale woe seems all too common; the husband is last in line for the wife's affections and loyalties.  Certainly, part of that is cultural and part may be she really does care less about her husband than she does her family. I see that issue as the point you should have seen before you married her.

[meatboy]

On ‎3‎/‎27‎/‎2018 at 3:18 PM, thaibeachlovers said:

All we divorced guys on this subforum thought exactly the same as you at the same stage as you.

Plenty of food for thought if you read the threads. The one about the brother in law was especially good.

 

Anyway, good luck, and happy days.

I bet he's bought one of those rings with a sparkling stone.

come on guys she's  DIFFERENT.

[cornishcarlos]

On 3/26/2018 at 6:40 PM, TerryLH said:

All the ceremonies before that are like foreplay.

 

With the Amphur being the vinegar stroke, after that you are putty in her hands :)

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎3‎/‎31‎/‎2018 at 1:26 PM, smotherb said:

Well, I agree there are always exceptions, but that is hardly the point. Your tale woe seems all too common; the husband is last in line for the wife's affections and loyalties.  Certainly, part of that is cultural and part may be she really does care less about her husband than she does her family. I see that issue as the point you should have seen before you married her.

Why?

We lived far from the family for a year, and were perfectly happy. I was first in line for her affections, and she never took short holidays to go visit them.

Why should I have known that she would change just because we lived with the family in the village?

Many posters live with their in laws and have happy lives. I just made a bad decision to move there, that's all.

You assume too much to say that "I should have known". Life isn't that simple.

[thaibeachlovers]

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