Keeping my ex away

[justaphase]

Is there any (legal) way I can stop my ex girlfriend from coming near me/contacting me? Since we split up 3 years ago I've been in prison, lost 4 jobs and had money stolen all down to her. We have 2 kids and she does nothing whatsoever towards their upbringing. I used to send 15000 a month but this just went on shoes, clothes and make up.

The kids stayed with me for 3 months and went to school, they loved it, but now the holidays have arrived and shes got them back and the constant abuse continues. Can i call the local police and get something done.

 

 

[Get Real]

Tragic, but I guess you just have to man up to the girlfriend and take care of your children. Can you prove abuse?

[cyberfarang]

According to the another thread started by the OP, he has mental problems, been in prison, can`t stay in Thailand and has no where to go in the UK.

 

Sorry, but it seems he is in no position to take custody of his two children and should also be meeting his ex GF to discuss their childrens welfare, rather than trying to push her away. Very sad for the kids, if only these guys would be responsible and learn to wear something over it.

[DipStick]

31 minutes ago, cyberfarang said:

According to the another thread started by the OP, he has mental problems, been in prison, can`t stay in Thailand and has no where to go in the UK.

 

Sorry, but it seems he is in no position to take custody of his two children and should also be meeting his ex GF to discuss their childrens welfare, rather than trying to push her away. Very sad for the kids, if only these guys would be responsible and learn to wear something over it.

Pedantic I know, and I apologise but is it likely he wants to use his children to be able to stay in Thailand ?

[catman20]

12 hours ago, cyberfarang said:

According to the another thread started by the OP, he has mental problems, been in prison, can`t stay in Thailand and has no where to go in the UK.

 

Sorry, but it seems he is in no position to take custody of his two children and should also be meeting his ex GF to discuss their childrens welfare, rather than trying to push her away. Very sad for the kids, if only these guys would be responsible and learn to wear something over it.

agreed, fools rush in where angels fear to tread 

[colinneil]

3 minutes ago, catman20 said:

agreed, fools rush in where angles fear to tread 

You been drinking catman?

Angles? I think you mean angels.

[catman20]

3 minutes ago, colinneil said:

You been drinking catman?

Angles? I think you mean angels.

sorry colinneil  a bit early, still waking up, but you got what i meant right ?

[justaphase]

You have no idea what this woman or my situation  is like. I'm not crazy and I dont want my kids with me as a reason to stay here. I have a steady 50K+ income every month and give as much as possible to my kids. Very difficult when the mother tends to spend it on herself. I have paid a number of 20,000 school fees wheich she has used for herself while the kids remained locked in her room, sometimes while she went out working.

She left them on my doorstep last December and until last week they lived very comfortably with me and went to school for the first time ever.

When they broke up for mid term she wanted them back for the holidays and i agreed to give her 20,000. She spent the lot within a week and now this is where we are.. she's demanding money and phoning my places of work, police, immigration and and my condo.

As soon as the money runs out she'll give the kids back to me, but for now and back to my OP....

Is there any way I can stop all this shit?

 

[starky]

I don't think they have AVOs or the equivalent here. If your fair dinkum IMO your only option is to lawyer up take her to court and get sole custody of the kids. Then move far enough away that she can't harass you. That's if you are a capable parent, really want the responsibility, and she is as abusive and neglectful as you claim. The other option is you just go away and leave the kids with her . I will leave my personal judgement out of this unlike others but think about long term what is going to be best for your children. I think keeping the ex away from you, as a grown man, is a non issue.

[FritsSikkink]

12 minutes ago, justaphase said:

You have no idea what this woman or my situation  is like. I'm not crazy and I dont want my kids with me as a reason to stay here. I have a steady 50K+ income every month and give as much as possible to my kids. Very difficult when the mother tends to spend it on herself. I have paid a number of 20,000 school fees wheich she has used for herself while the kids remained locked in her room, sometimes while she went out working.

She left them on my doorstep last December and until last week they lived very comfortably with me and went to school for the first time ever.

When they broke up for mid term she wanted them back for the holidays and i agreed to give her 20,000. She spent the lot within a week and now this is where we are.. she's demanding money and phoning my places of work, police, immigration and and my condo.

As soon as the money runs out she'll give the kids back to me, but for now and back to my OP....

Is there any way I can stop all this shit?

 

You could start with:

1) Not telling her where you work.

2) Get a lawyer to get full custody.

[justaphase]

She has to know certain details of my life because of the kids. They went to school where I worked.  She is MENTAL. There can be 8 hours of constant abuse on line, sms or email and they an hour later she's 'normal' again. It's usually a monthly 4 or 5 day attack around her period..

So is number 2 easy? I have years of bank statements showing income and transfers to her.

[djayz]

1 hour ago, justaphase said:

Is there any way I can stop all this shit?

Stop telling your ex where you work and move to a new place - don't give her the name, tel. no. or address of your new condo. Pick up/drop off the kids at a cafe, mall, etc. 

This won't solve all your problems, but it'll give you a bit of peace and quiet both at work and at home. 

You should pay the scho tution fees directly to the schools - this will prevent her from getting her paws on that money and your kids can go to school. 

[scorecard]

51 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

You could start with:

1) Not telling her where you work.

2) Get a lawyer to get full custody.

 

 

Seems to me there is no easy fix and Thailand does not have the court order system to make it illegal for her to stay away from you. But is that really the magic answer to all of this?

 

IMHO you need to quickly get a knowledgeable and recommended lawyer to take this through the steps of the Thai family court requesting a court order for you to legally be the sole guardian of the children if you can convince the court that you are capable.

 

Won't be easy and expect lots of frustrations along a bumpy road. Get it started today!

 

On the other hand if you can convince the authorities that the children are being abused and/or neglected then maybe you should consider  getting a court order to place them in an orphanage or similar. That's a very big decision.

 

By the way by Thai law children must go to school, I don't know about all of Thailand but in many school districts this is seriously monitored and quite quickly an 'inspector' will visit the house and demand answers as to why the kids are not going to school.  But be careful of this, if the ex wises up maybe she could move the kids around regularly to live with aunty then grandma etc. 

 

 

[RichardColeman]

19 hours ago, justaphase said:

Is there any (legal) way I can stop my ex girlfriend from coming near me/contacting me?

Why bother ? Just move somewhere where she doesn't know you live !

[blackcab]

1 hour ago, justaphase said:

There can be 8 hours of constant abuse on line, sms or email

 

Block her. Simple.

[avtarphuket]

At OP justaphase best thing is a lawyer and documentation.

As they say the best defense is a good offense...

Bank statements
Messages with screen shots
Pictures or videos of anything abuse related
The more you can prove the more you firm up your position.

Find a good local lawyer who has experience and or specializes in family law.

If you need help with that pm with your location I may be able to help.

I had similar situation but was advised as above which I went on to do.
Now I have a legal position registered in courts and Amphur along with abuse documented.
All in all took around 4-6 months.

 

Good luck

 

[FritsSikkink]

1 hour ago, scorecard said:

 

 

Seems to me there is no easy fix and Thailand does not have the court order system to make it illegal for her to stay away from you. But is that really the magic answer to all of this?

 

IMHO you need to quickly get a knowledgeable and recommended lawyer to take this through the steps of the Thai family court requesting a court order for you to legally be the sole guardian of the children if you can convince the court that you are capable.

 

Won't be easy and expect lots of frustrations along a bumpy road. Get it started today!

 

On the other hand if you can convince the authorities that the children are being abused and/or neglected then maybe you should consider  getting a court order to place them in an orphanage or similar. That's a very big decision.

 

By the way by Thai law children must go to school, I don't know about all of Thailand but in many school districts this is seriously monitored and quite quickly an 'inspector' will visit the house and demand answers as to why the kids are not going to school.  But be careful of this, if the ex wises up maybe she could move the kids around regularly to live with aunty then grandma etc. 

 

 

"you should consider  getting a court order to place them in an orphanage or similar."  WHAT ? They have a father who wants them, he can use that info to get full custody.

[scorecard]

55 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

"you should consider  getting a court order to place them in an orphanage or similar."  WHAT ? They have a father who wants them, he can use that info to get full custody.

 

I understand that and yes an orphanage is not the best option.

 

- OP says the mother is abusive, doesn't take care of the kids, won't let them go to school

 

- Earlier it was mentioned that the father has some baggage too and this might well make it difficult for him to gain custody, regardless of the mothers profile.

 

- Is leaving them with the mother a good option? NO.

 

- So perhaps that's means another scenario, not very desirable (since mother and father are alIve) in the care of other child care agencies (and there are other agencies other than an orphanage). And one would expect this also means they would be going to school. 

 

- Is there a case to say that the children in the care of another agency would give the father time to work hard and get his act together and establish a more positive picture of credibility, including regular planned contact with his kids and ensure there is some reporting back to the authorities that helps to build a picture of his credibility, then perhaps at a later time the courts more likely to grant him custody.

 

IMHO there is no magic trick;  to fix this instantly and for the father to instantly get custody.

 

Step by step. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

4 hours ago, justaphase said:

You have no idea what this woman or my situation  is like. I'm not crazy and I dont want my kids with me as a reason to stay here. I have a steady 50K+ income every month and give as much as possible to my kids. Very difficult when the mother tends to spend it on herself. I have paid a number of 20,000 school fees wheich she has used for herself while the kids remained locked in her room, sometimes while she went out working.

She left them on my doorstep last December and until last week they lived very comfortably with me and went to school for the first time ever.

When they broke up for mid term she wanted them back for the holidays and i agreed to give her 20,000. She spent the lot within a week and now this is where we are.. she's demanding money and phoning my places of work, police, immigration and and my condo.

As soon as the money runs out she'll give the kids back to me, but for now and back to my OP....

Is there any way I can stop all this shit?

 

For a start don't give her the money to pay for things like school fees. Give it direct to the school.

I'd suggest not ever giving them back to her, but that might give her an excuse to make a police complaint against you.

 

 

 

[geisha]

Hi, I think it would be very hard to go back to uk with no money and no job. First, you should get legal custody of your 2 kids. Put them in school, hire a nanny ( friends of mine have a nice older lady taking their kids to and fro school, and cooking their dinner till the parents come home) sure would cost less than 15000 to your girlfriend ! Then take a restraining order out against her. Do it all  legally.

[ubonr1971]

6 hours ago, justaphase said:

You have no idea what this woman or my situation  is like. I'm not crazy and I dont want my kids with me as a reason to stay here. I have a steady 50K+ income every month and give as much as possible to my kids. Very difficult when the mother tends to spend it on herself. I have paid a number of 20,000 school fees wheich she has used for herself while the kids remained locked in her room, sometimes while she went out working.

She left them on my doorstep last December and until last week they lived very comfortably with me and went to school for the first time ever.

When they broke up for mid term she wanted them back for the holidays and i agreed to give her 20,000. She spent the lot within a week and now this is where we are.. she's demanding money and phoning my places of work, police, immigration and and my condo.

As soon as the money runs out she'll give the kids back to me, but for now and back to my OP....

Is there any way I can stop all this shit?

 

pay the school fees direct to the school... duh

[natway09]

If you have sufficient cause the Court will give her a restraining clause,,, normally 100 metres

[HooHaa]

5 hours ago, avtarphuket said:

At OP justaphase best thing is a lawyer and documentation.

As they say the best defense is a good offense...

Bank statements
Messages with screen shots
Pictures or videos of anything abuse related
The more you can prove the more you firm up your position.

Find a good local lawyer who has experience and or specializes in family law.

If you need help with that pm with your location I may be able to help.

I had similar situation but was advised as above which I went on to do.
Now I have a legal position registered in courts and Amphur along with abuse documented.
All in all took around 4-6 months.

 

Good luck

 

what he said, thai courts really do tend to act in the childrens best interests, if you can show that she is keeping them out of school and support payments and tuition payments are being used for something else, you have a good chance.

 

[justaphase]

4 hours ago, ubonr1971 said:

pay the school fees direct to the school... duh

I live miles away from her..duh

 

Thanks for all the suggestions. I have also got several police complaints against her including when she stole my passport and borrowed 10,000 baht using it as collateral. She didn't pay in time and i didnt get it back, resulting in a 45 day overstay.

The madness continues..

I will go for custody shortly, I already have a nanny lined up.

[metisdead]

Callous troll posts and the replies have been removed.  If you have nothing helpful to add, move along please. 

[ubonr1971]

19 minutes ago, justaphase said:

I live miles away from her..duh

 

Thanks for all the suggestions. I have also got several police complaints against her including when she stole my passport and borrowed 10,000 baht using it as collateral. She didn't pay in time and i didnt get it back, resulting in a 45 day overstay.

The madness continues..

I will go for custody shortly, I already have a nanny lined up.

but you have a phone / skype. Call the school ask for their bank account. Pay it with online banking. Its not hard. Theres no excuse for giving her school fees directly. good luck

[torrzent]

On 4/3/2018 at 3:16 PM, justaphase said:

Since we split up 3 years ago I've been in prison, lost 4 jobs and had money stolen all down to her.

Sorry, but not sure your side of the story would have more credibility than hers with a rap sheet like this.

[djayz]

On second thoughts, neither the father nor the mother strike me as being fit to raise children - that explains a lot about the youth of today. Poor kids were brought into the world without a fighting chance... 

[Trembly]

This is one for the Juvenile & Family Court. 

If you are working legally and your visas are in order you have the right to use the public defender for free (they are all volunteers, so it's the luck of the draw). I don't know what your Thai is like though, so you may need a reliable interpreter.

Another strategy would be to identify whether she has broken any criminal laws in the way that she treats you or the children, enough that the police will be obliged to charge her and pass the matter on to the public prosecutor. That way you don't have to spend any money on lawyers but you will also have no control over how the public prosecutor deals with her.

Thai judges absolutely DO have the authority to place restraining orders on people and they regularly do just that. In fact, Thai judges can order people to do or not do just about anything without having to consider legal precedent if they don't want to, because all court orders are in the name of His Majesty the King. 

Stop forking about and do it properly mate. The police WILL do everything it takes to comply with a court order and they will not ask you for money because they are in serious trouble if they defy a judge. 

[cyberfarang]

22 hours ago, geisha said:

Hi, I think it would be very hard to go back to uk with no money and no job. First, you should get legal custody of your 2 kids. Put them in school, hire a nanny ( friends of mine have a nice older lady taking their kids to and fro school, and cooking their dinner till the parents come home) sure would cost less than 15000 to your girlfriend ! Then take a restraining order out against her. Do it all  legally.

Easy talk, but probably hardly viable in the OP`s case.

 

Hiring a full time nanny can cost from 15000 baht a month upwards if lucky.  Going to court means hiring lawyers and these don`t come cheap. Lawyers are super expensive, mostly corrupt and can skin a client alive financially. Their fees can be a bottomless pit. So what you are suggesting is not realistic.

 

The only common sense solution is for the OP to deal with his ex GF tactfully and directly to try and sort matters out. He must love his child more than he hates his GF and try to meet her on common ground with some compromises.