Are you a Loser?

[transam]

On 4/10/2018 at 7:47 AM, jumbo said:

I think the OP has a point

After reading the OP I am not surprised..

 

Who fired it..?  

[jumbo]

1 minute ago, transam said:

After reading the OP I am not surprised..

 

Who fired it..?  

Me, firing up things

[smutcakes]

11 hours ago, owl sees all said:

I only call it as I see it. Isaan is a huge chunk of Thailand and is a graveyard for farang/Thai marriages. I see greed as the main reason for relationship failure.

Understandably many poor Thai women get together with older farangs for future security for them and their families. When the promises of that security given by the gentleman when he had the possibility of shagging a young pretty Thai bird, someone of the equivalent level had probably not looked at them in decades if ever, we men will make big promises in order to get the hole. Will you buy me a car, will you buy me a house, yes yes yes of course i will darling etc etc

 

When reality sets in a few months or years later, the older farang does not want to get married, does not want to buy land or a house, does not really have any money, or be prepared to bequest it on his death or has other family from previous failed marriages at home and in fact does not want to provide anything other than day to day living to his partner, what in the world is in it for the lady. In most cases she would not be physically attracted by the older gentleman, in terms of security there would be none above day to day living until the husband croaks it and would not in anyway be securing future for her family. It is not surprising that in many cases marriages come to a head after a few years.

 

 

[owl sees all]

1 hour ago, smutcakes said:

Understandably many poor Thai women get together with older farangs for future security for them and their families. When the promises of that security given by the gentleman when he had the possibility of shagging a young pretty Thai bird, someone of the equivalent level had probably not looked at them in decades if ever, we men will make big promises in order to get the hole. Will you buy me a car, will you buy me a house, yes yes yes of course i will darling etc etc

Men have blood; also a penis and a brain. But not enough blood to run both at the same time.

Edited April 11, 2018 by owl sees all

[transam]

2 minutes ago, owl sees all said:

Men have blood; also a penis and a brain. But not enough blood to run both at the same time.

How true....I think it's my age though...

[smutcakes]

10 minutes ago, owl sees all said:

Men have blood; also a penis and a brain. But not enough blood to run both at the same time.

And when one stops working, the brain can start to function properly. At this point they start to get disillusioned as to what they are doing, get bitter, twisted, stubborn, grumpy etc and the lady feels duped that she has no security which is what she got into the relationship in the first place for and has wasted a number of her prime years for catching a suitable partner.. It does not take much for big cracks in the relationship/marriage/arrangement, whatever you want to call it to appear.

 

After a time of massive arguments, fights, there is no love and possibly outright hatred between the pair. The gentleman possibly has no where to go, and the lady is going to have her piece of flesh that she was promised out the outset.

 

Lovely narrative.

[owl sees all]

1 hour ago, smutcakes said:

At this point they start to get disillusioned as to what they are doing, get bitter, twisted, stubborn, grumpy etc and the lady feels duped that she has no security which is what she got into the relationship in the first place for and has wasted a number of her prime years for catching a suitable partner.

Plenty of dashing, Thai studs out there for her to choose from.

Edited April 11, 2018 by owl sees all

[smutcakes]

Just now, owl sees all said:

Plenty of dashing Thai studs out there for her to choose from.

For a typical  Issan lady their are very meager pickings for life long marriage and security with local gentleman as well. More chance with an older farang, Does not mean they have to sit back and just accept their lot at 35 years old if they dont get what they were promised. If they are not getting anything from the marriage, or indeed not going to get anything when the partner passes away, i can quite understand them calling a halt on the relationship or resentment growing.

[TKDfella]

14 hours ago, bwpage3 said:

Did this touch you personally that you had to reply?

Ha ha, just thought it was a joke, that's all.

[rdhowell]

7 hours ago, bwpage3 said:

Put in his place?

 

You shouldn't be ashamed of yourself and walk around with your head up.

 

That way you would see the multitude of losers on the lose in Thailand.

 

There has already been a few photos posted.

 

Did you not see them?

I assume you meant "should be ashamed..."?

Ok. Not gonna argue too much with you. Sure, there are "losers" here in Thailand, in my home country, everywhere. Photos or not.

You and I don't seem to disagree too much. 

Thanks for the input.

[JAFO]

Let's face it.  There are delusional men all over SEAsia.  lThailand doesn't own the title. Just go to Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, Malaysia etc etc. 

 

I personally do not think these men are losers but rather delusional and desperate. But honestly why should any of us care? Does it some how make the normal guys feel better?  It's their life and their choices. In the end they do not affect me in anyway and the OP should grow up a bit and quit with silly posts to wind up the posters.  However I think the OP has some issues he is trying to overcome. His posts have a lots hidden in them.

 

 

 

 

[smotherb]

4 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

In principle that sounds fine. And if you are young and handsome then go for it.

 

Personally I am not so young anymore and not so fit anymore and I am realistic. Why would a good looking fun girl who is intelligent and financially independent be with me or any other guy who is double her age? In theory it could happen but it's not exactly likely.

 

I am not rich but I earn enough that my girl does not have to be financially independent. At some age we have to make compromises and set priorities. I have some rich and smart male friends, I can talk with them about rocket science - ok, let's say science. 

Not only in principle, it happens in practice. It all depends upon what you have to offer the young woman other than money. My favorite example of that is a couple I have known since 1994. The younger Thai wife was in my Mandarin Chinese class at graduate school in the US. She had met her older American husband when she was a student at university here in Bangkok and he a visiting professor. They married approximately 1990, she was 23, he 59. He wasn't rich, he was a career university professor. She was from an upper middle-class Thai family, not rich either, but having a house and car was commonplace. She was impressed with his knowledge and abilities as an educator. He was able to guide her through her studies and help her achieve her goal; to become a university professor.  She is now 51 and he is 86; she is a university professor in the US and he is retired. They have two children, both in college now. They still are not rich, but they are happy and secure in their love. She and my wife are best friends and have been since graduate school. So, it can happen; if there is a common ground other than money. Yes, she took from him, but no more than he readily gave to all his students; his knowledge and his desire to teach.

[55Jay]

12 hours ago, bwpage3 said:

Well if think there aren't any losers in Thailand, you are the one that is insecure.

I didn't say anything about that.  Even if I did, would have absolutely nothing to do with my sense of well being. 

 

Unsolicited advice to you is stop cruising the relationships/marriage/divorce sub-forum, cause it's getting inside your head.   And now you're triggered, informing random internet people there are losers in Thailand....but that you definitely ain't one of them. 

Edited April 11, 2018 by 55Jay
photo re-size

[starky]

On 10/04/2018 at 8:33 AM, HLover said:

I lost my innocence...

Then I lost interest 3 sentences into this original post.

Wasn't just me then?

[starky]

5 hours ago, smotherb said:

Not only in principle, it happens in practice. It all depends upon what you have to offer the young woman other than money. My favorite example of that is a couple I have known since 1994. The younger Thai wife was in my Mandarin Chinese class at graduate school in the US. She had met her older American husband when she was a student at university here in Bangkok and he a visiting professor. They married approximately 1990, she was 23, he 59. He wasn't rich, he was a career university professor. She was from an upper middle-class Thai family, not rich either, but having a house and car was commonplace. She was impressed with his knowledge and abilities as an educator. He was able to guide her through her studies and help her achieve her goal; to become a university professor.  She is now 51 and he is 86; she is a university professor in the US and he is retired. They have two children, both in college now. They still are not rich, but they are happy and secure in their love. She and my wife are best friends and have been since graduate school. So, it can happen; if there is a common ground other than money. Yes, she took from him, but no more than he readily gave to all his students; his knowledge and his desire to teach.

Don't being logic, perspective and joy into a TV post it's just not cricket.

[bwpage3]

12 hours ago, F4UCorsair said:

There is plenty of evidence on this forum that many Thai women are running an agenda to strip their foreign husband of his assets. There should be a handout at all entry points advertising this. Any man ignoring the advice is a loser.

 

That many foreign men fall for it, thinking a 20 yo woman, frequently a bar girl/hooker, would be genuinely interested in a much older man, makes them losers........ in my view.

 

What crazy man puts assets in an almost stranger's name in another country, when he wouldn't contemplate doing so back home, or marry a hooker back home? A loser!

 

I've never been to Phuket or Pattaya, but a large percentage of those who frequent such places are those who couldn't sustain a relationship back home.......losers!

 

I've often stayed at the Ibis, down Soi Nana, Sukhumvit, and all I see in the few bars as I stroll by are big bellied, mostly unattractive men, smokers, and drinking at 10 am, with bar girls.....losers.

 

I could ramble on with a hundred more examples, but you get the drift, and I agree with the OP, that many of those who move to Thailand are losers. Thailand has become a sort of modern Foreigm Legion, where men went to escape their pasts.

 

There are, no doubt, success stories, those where ages of partners are relatively close, but I see a significant minority there.

 

Sent from my SM-G610F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

 

 

 

Very few people want to tell it like it is, but you nailed it.

[bwpage3]

1 hour ago, 55Jay said:

I didn't say anything about that.  Even if I did, would have absolutely nothing to do with my sense of well being. 

 

Unsolicited advice to you is stop cruising the relationships/marriage/divorce sub-forum, cause it's getting inside your head.   And now you're triggered, informing random internet people there are losers in Thailand....but that you definitely ain't one of them. 

What qualifies you to give advice to anyone?

[bwpage3]

5 hours ago, smotherb said:

Not only in principle, it happens in practice. It all depends upon what you have to offer the young woman other than money. My favorite example of that is a couple I have known since 1994. The younger Thai wife was in my Mandarin Chinese class at graduate school in the US. She had met her older American husband when she was a student at university here in Bangkok and he a visiting professor. They married approximately 1990, she was 23, he 59. He wasn't rich, he was a career university professor. She was from an upper middle-class Thai family, not rich either, but having a house and car was commonplace. She was impressed with his knowledge and abilities as an educator. He was able to guide her through her studies and help her achieve her goal; to become a university professor.  She is now 51 and he is 86; she is a university professor in the US and he is retired. They have two children, both in college now. They still are not rich, but they are happy and secure in their love. She and my wife are best friends and have been since graduate school. So, it can happen; if there is a common ground other than money. Yes, she took from him, but no more than he readily gave to all his students; his knowledge and his desire to teach.

There is a positive example to come out of this post.

 

 

[simoh1490]

12 hours ago, F4UCorsair said:

There is plenty of evidence on this forum that many Thai women are running an agenda to strip their foreign husband of his assets. There should be a handout at all entry points advertising this. Any man ignoring the advice is a loser.

 

That many foreign men fall for it, thinking a 20 yo woman, frequently a bar girl/hooker, would be genuinely interested in a much older man, makes them losers........ in my view.

 

What crazy man puts assets in an almost stranger's name in another country, when he wouldn't contemplate doing so back home, or marry a hooker back home? A loser!

 

I've never been to Phuket or Pattaya, but a large percentage of those who frequent such places are those who couldn't sustain a relationship back home.......losers!

 

I've often stayed at the Ibis, down Soi Nana, Sukhumvit, and all I see in the few bars as I stroll by are big bellied, mostly unattractive men, smokers, and drinking at 10 am, with bar girls.....losers.

 

I could ramble on with a hundred more examples, but you get the drift, and I agree with the OP, that many of those who move to Thailand are losers. Thailand has become a sort of modern Foreigm Legion, where men went to escape their pasts.

 

There are, no doubt, success stories, those where ages of partners are relatively close, but I see a significant minority there.

 

Sent from my SM-G610F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

 

 

 

I recall from history that you've posted some good, objective, interesting and useful material on TVF over the years, sadly this post doesn't pass muster.

[Lacessit]

6 hours ago, smotherb said:

Not only in principle, it happens in practice. It all depends upon what you have to offer the young woman other than money. My favorite example of that is a couple I have known since 1994. The younger Thai wife was in my Mandarin Chinese class at graduate school in the US. She had met her older American husband when she was a student at university here in Bangkok and he a visiting professor. They married approximately 1990, she was 23, he 59. He wasn't rich, he was a career university professor. She was from an upper middle-class Thai family, not rich either, but having a house and car was commonplace. She was impressed with his knowledge and abilities as an educator. He was able to guide her through her studies and help her achieve her goal; to become a university professor.  She is now 51 and he is 86; she is a university professor in the US and he is retired. They have two children, both in college now. They still are not rich, but they are happy and secure in their love. She and my wife are best friends and have been since graduate school. So, it can happen; if there is a common ground other than money. Yes, she took from him, but no more than he readily gave to all his students; his knowledge and his desire to teach.

Which backs up the proposition women are attracted to men with the attributes of good looks, intelligence, money, and power. It's a bonus if they get more than one of the attributes in a single package.

I really am baffled by the amount of vitriol that is poured out on Thai women in these forums, instead of the posters accepting their circumstances are mostly determined by their own life decisions. Probably the same individuals who criticize the Thai concept of "face", without seeing the irony.

[55Jay]

1 hour ago, bwpage3 said:

What qualifies you to give advice to anyone?

I've got the same qualifications you do, except for one.  I don't know how many pages are in the Marriage/Divorce sub-forum.  Or any forum for that matter. 

You got me beat there. 

 

[smotherb]

On 4/10/2018 at 7:31 PM, poanoi said:

everyone after age 40 is a loser, die with it

So, you'd recommend dying before you're 40 so you can be a winner?  Being stupid is pretty much the rule-of-thumb for being a loser.

[smotherb]

On 4/10/2018 at 8:49 PM, Stevemercer said:

I think what many posters in TV forget is that it is possible to fall in love. You rarely read a post where a man has admitted he fell in love and wanted to do everything for his loved one.

 

A man (or woman) in love is not 100% rationale and may not want to see or hear the truth. I don't think such a person is a loser. 

 

You can't always intellectualize love. It seems to me that the OP is saying that those who never marry, or those who only think with their (big) head (never their heart) are winners. 

I think you have confused love and infatuation. Love is not a masking of your mind; sensible people do not let love cause irrationality. Love is and must be reciprocal; if only one loves, they are the loser. Thinking only with your heart is a bad start, if you do not intellectualize your love, you will have problems.

[smotherb]

On 4/10/2018 at 2:03 PM, owl sees all said:

Good!

 

Reminds me of a true story in Kumpawappi a couple of years ago. 

 

There were two fridges in Ron's kitchen. A big one the family used and a smaller one he kept his farang stuff in; cheese, marmite, bacon, beer etc.

 

He was forever complaining that the family were raiding his fridge when he was out. His wife's son and daughter both lived at the house but the wife never knew who the culprits were.

 

Ron had to get his visa in Laos, and would be gone for a couple of days. Me too. Met up in Nong Khai and we went off for the visas. He told me what he had done to stop the pilfering. To protect his goodies, he had put a heavy chain around the fridge,  through the door handle, and padlocked it. "That'll sort them out," he said, "they couldn't even cut through THAT chain!"  

 

He dropped me home near Nong Khai, when back in Thailand, and he went off to Kumpawappi (100k away)  After arriving back, he really fancied a cold beer. Went to the fridge and found the handle had been cut off, with a grinder, and the chain and lock were in the corner. He challenged the wife; "don't know, could have been anyone."

 

I could see the funny side of it and so could he, a few months later.

I see only sadness in that story.

[jenny2017]

5 minutes ago, smotherb said:

I see only sadness in that story.

+ 1 

[smotherb]

On 4/10/2018 at 5:10 PM, soalbundy said:

what a stupid topic from an arrogant man, there are no losers in life, it is a learning process, some take longer than others, some are unfortunate enough to be dealt a bad hand and yet like Prof. Hawkins rise above it, some, like Trump, cannot rise above themselves, it isn't even his fault his mental make up won't allow it. Stop thinking you are in control, what happens happens because it can be no other way. Think about why you started this post.

Predestination, eh? Have you been influenced by Jonathan Edwards long?

[55Jay]

 

[F4UCorsair]

10 hours ago, simoh1490 said:

I recall from history that you've posted some good, objective, interesting and useful material on TVF over the years, sadly this post doesn't pass muster.

Thanks you for your comment, up to "years........"

 

Well I can't win them all.   One loved it, bwpage3, post # 106, thought it right on the money, and you don't.   Such is life!!

 

Differing opinions, based on our life experiences, make life interesting.

 

I've given you a 'like' for yoru post.

 

 

Edited April 11, 2018 by F4UCorsair

[poanoi]

6 hours ago, smotherb said:

So, you'd recommend dying before you're 40 so you can be a winner?  Being stupid is pretty much the rule-of-thumb for being a loser.

well, you can carry on being a loser for 40+ years after that,

but that will result in an overall negative score,

the longer you carry on, the more negative end score

Edited April 11, 2018 by poanoi

[soalbundy]

5 hours ago, smotherb said:

Predestination, eh? Have you been influenced by Jonathan Edwards long?

never heard of him but I will look him up. Not predestination, currents appear under the water, we can't see them and they can seem to happen from nowhere but there is a cause, perhaps 2 km away downstream, everything is connected but we have no influence over the prime cause of events we can only react to the manifestations in our immediate space. How we react is important, we can align ourselves with what I call universal consciousness by completely accepting the event without an internal dialogue of complaint ''This is so unfair'' etc. and then react with the acknowledgement 'it is as it is', this is positive and can stop the chain reaction of the prime cause, or one reacts with anger and despair and becomes another link in the chain reaction affecting your surroundings with negative energy. Having said that it must be accepted that your reaction is also largely out of your control, dependant on genetics and your life's story which has preconditioned you to react in a certain way, pavlovian if you will.Making the mind your servant instead of letting it be your master is the only way to break the cycle but the destruction of 'the little me' the ego, takes years of hard work, I've been at it for 5 years and I am far from done.