Gay Marriage

[Steve Ireland]

Hey All,

 

You may grab a cuppa or glass - this is a cracker.

 

I am from Ireland and my Boyfriend of just over a year is Thai. I understand that we cannot get married in Thailand as same sex marriage is not recognised.  My country will not let him come here for a holiday, let alone to be with me.  My lawyer says I can "marry a moped" if that's what I want and he will sort the paperwork (for a fee) but that this is a long process during which he cannot be with me.  I have two options:

 

1. - Move to Thailand and try to set myself up from scratch again so that I can be with my guy

 

2. Marry him in a country he can visit without Visa but that recognises Gay Marriage.

 

Help!!! I am at the end of my tether with internet searches and living alone here while he lives alone in Thailand and only getting to see each other for a few months a couple of times a year (which is wreaking havock with my career and contracts here)

 

We would be financially better off here where I own my house outright and have established career etc although I quite fancy living out there (even with the 30 rat run) but he wants to live here with me. (I suspect the culture shock alone he will find challenging - Holy Catholic Ireland n all)

 

Any advice Appreciated ?

 

Cheers

 

Steve M

[tubby johnson]

The second option looks more feasible. Then you can maintain your career and source of income.

There aren't many countries where he can travel to without a financial guarantee which you may have to provide.

In Asia, perhaps Taiwan is an option to marry.

 

If you've only seen each other for a short time, then you won't know what he's up to or who he's with while you're away. Bring him over to Ireland to keep him on a short leash.

[Jingthing]

Same sex marriage is not legal in Taiwan. 

It may be later.

Even if it was, legal same sex marriage is one thing, allowing two people that are not citizens of a country (or even residents) to marry is another.

 

[glegolo]

I wonder if the same people that always screams;

 

- "Take care",

- "Dont trust her"

- "She is just after your money",

- "While you are away, she have numerous other falangs waiting in line to send money"

 

and so on and on and on.. I wonder if they dare to say anything at all now, when it comes to a gay marriage. this topic is VERY sensitive and cannot be discussed at all God forbid....

 

I agree with ealier poster; "Tubby"... Keep track of him, as he may have a few more "eggs in the basket" than you realize..... And in my own opinion, do not waste your own future and present for this guy, they are 13 in a dozen here in Thailand (s.e. asia...) Play it safe and take care of yourself in the first place.... YOU are the most important one here..

 

glegolo

[ubonjoe]

Not visa related so moved to here.

[allane]

I saw recently that Taiwan will have gay marriage in mid 2019.  Once that has happened, ...

  - check to see if they will marry non-citizens who come there as tourists.

   - check to see if the Irish govt's. recognition of foreign marriages includes 

     recognition of foreign gay marriages.

You have only known him just over a year, and it sounds as though the time you have spent together is considerably less than that.  Let things mature for another year or a little longer while you do the necessary research.

[Nick ZepTepi]

Why do you need a paper license from a government to make a long lasting commitment to each other?

Marriage is a financial contract between the state + you & him.



Sent from my Honor 7x using Tapatalk

[dddave]

Not gay myself but have had a number of gay friends in Thailand and their relationships have, in the long run been just as fraught with the same difficulties that most hetro relationships here run into.  

Issues of support for family, fidelity on both sides and  communication/cultural conflicts start taking center stage once things cool down in the bedroom.

Give it time and don't make life changing decisions for a while.

[jak2002003]

5 hours ago, glegolo said:

I wonder if the same people that always screams;

 

- "Take care",

- "Dont trust her"

- "She is just after your money",

- "While you are away, she have numerous other falangs waiting in line to send money"

 

and so on and on and on.. I wonder if they dare to say anything at all now, when it comes to a gay marriage. this topic is VERY sensitive and cannot be discussed at all God forbid....

 

I agree with ealier poster; "Tubby"... Keep track of him, as he may have a few more "eggs in the basket" than you realize..... And in my own opinion, do not waste your own future and present for this guy, they are 13 in a dozen here in Thailand (s.e. asia...) Play it safe and take care of yourself in the first place.... YOU are the most important one here..

 

glegolo

We can discuss it no problem.  So long as its just the same discussions that would happen in the Thai girl / farang man scenario.

 

Problem is you get the nasty people spotting a thread about anything 'gay' and they latch onto it with all their nasty, spiteful anti gay crap and upset a lot of people who are just after advice.

 

I would say to OP.. be careful.  You hardly know this Thai guy... as you only see him a few times a year.  Don't consider getting married to someone you hardly know!  Also, the alarm bells would be ringing for me if he was saying that he does not want you to live here with him.. only get him married so he can come to Ireland!!!  

 

Long distance relationships are difficult at the best of times... and withThai people (with their massive differences in values and culture), male or female, you are in for a big headache for sure!  

 

I would suggest you look closer to home for a relationship. But, if you are really in love with this guy, then come over here for at least 6 months and be with him 24 / 7 so you can both get to know each others personalities and lifestyles properly, before you decided to get married!  I would also insist on an legal agreement that he can have none of you money if you marry and divorce.  See how much he still wants to marry you then... that is one way to test if someone loves you.  You can always leave him the money in you will secretly if he turns out to be the one.  

[chippendale]

5 minutes ago, jak2002003 said:

We can discuss it no problem.  So long as its just the same discussions that would happen in the Thai girl / farang man scenario.

 

Problem is you get the nasty people spotting a thread about anything 'gay' and they latch onto it with all their nasty, spiteful anti gay crap and upset a lot of people who are just after advice.

 

I would say to OP.. be careful.  You hardly know this Thai guy... as you only see him a few times a year.  Don't consider getting married to someone you hardly know!  Also, the alarm bells would be ringing for me if he was saying that he does not want you to live here with him.. only get him married so he can come to Ireland!!!  

 

Long distance relationships are difficult at the best of times... and withThai people (with their massive differences in values and culture), male or female, you are in for a big headache for sure!  

 

I would suggest you look closer to home for a relationship. But, if you are really in love with this guy, then come over here for at least 6 months and be with him 24 / 7 so you can both get to know each others personalities and lifestyles properly, before you decided to get married!  I would also insist on an legal agreement that he can have none of you money if you marry and divorce.  See how much he still wants to marry you then... that is one way to test if someone loves you.  You can always leave him the money in you will secretly if he turns out to be the one.  

I don't see any "nasty people with their nasty, spiteful anti gay crap" here, just sensible advice.

 

So many of us have fallen in love with a Thai, not to realise what they're up to whenever we're not looking. How promiscuous is your Thai partner? What deception goes on? Which nasty STDs does he/she pick up in your absence?

[Jingthing]

Do you still think he will love you if you throw your successful life in Ireland away for a marginal one in Thailand? You can't ever become a Thai. The reality of living here is totally different than being on holiday.

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[jak2002003]

4 hours ago, chippendale said:

I don't see any "nasty people with their nasty, spiteful anti gay crap" here, just sensible advice.

 

So many of us have fallen in love with a Thai, not to realise what they're up to whenever we're not looking. How promiscuous is your Thai partner? What deception goes on? Which nasty STDs does he/she pick up in your absence?

No.  No ''nasty people with their nasty, spiteful anti gay crap''..... so far lol.

 

I was just replying to 'glegolo' who said 

 

10 hours ago, glegolo said:

.. I wonder if they dare to say anything at all now, when it comes to a gay marriage. this topic is VERY sensitive and cannot be discussed at all God forbid....

 

Agree... with you... all good advise so far.