Has this happened to you?

[TumblinDice]

When your girl who you have been “long distance dating” for the past 8 months, (known for a year, professed “true”, sincere love for each other & were planning to marry) just suddenly cuts you off & blocks you from her social media. Does not answer texts, phone calls or emails, blocks you on Facebook etc. She gives no explanation at all. Your just cut off & that’s it, removed completely & erased from anything to do with her.

We met at the school we both taught at, her a co-teacher & me an English teacher so its not a bar-girl thing. I had a tremendous amount of respect for her & a huge crush on her. I never acted on it but I was always friendly & helpful to her. We started this “romance” after I left & returned to Canada.

What do you make of that? Has it happened to you before? This seems to be the Thai way of ending relationships because its happened to me before. I never did anything to hurt her at all. I was all about trying to make it work & bringing her to Canada for a visit. We were talking of marriage soon after that.  It just baffles me how cold & insincere they immediately become without any warning. And she will tell me nothing, naddah. Never in my life have I received such treatment other than from a Thai. Its that only in Thailand traditional “save face” BS so they avoid the issue, switch off & disappear. Its unbelievable, like a Twilight Zone episode. I can take the rejection. I would just like to know what it is that happened so I can move on & push her out of my mind as well.

Western girls will at least tell you you’re an <deleted>, or she’s seeing someone else. <deleted> Thais just cut you off completely with no explanation after ripping your heart out.

Watch your back out there cuz I’m sure this happens a lot. <deleted> cold, heartless, selfish <deleted>. 

I'd love to hear your take on this & if its happened to you. What do you do??

Edited August 4, 2018 by metisdead
8.) You will not post disruptive or inflammatory messages, vulgarities, obscenities or profanities.

[FritsSikkink]

Never happened, still have contact with my Thai ex from 14 years ago. 

I think you are over estimating the "sincere love for each other" part on her side and that she does have a new friend. You started this “romance” after you left & returned to Canada, so it looks like you never actually been with her while you were here.  That it happened to your twice is shit but doesn't mean all Thai's are like that. Was your other romance "on paper" too or in real life?

 

What do you do? Move on and start a relationship with a girl who lives near to you. 

 

[DILLIGAD]

Long distance ‘romance’ is a mugs game. Being a ‘holiday husband’ is nearly as ludicrous. She knows it and has moved on, so suggest you do the same.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[BritManToo]

3 hours ago, TumblinDice said:

Never in my life have I received such treatment other than from a Thai.

I'd love to hear your take on this & if its happened to you.

1

Dude, when it's over it's over.

You never banged her, she was never your girlfriend, just some lame ass fantasy.

Move on, get yourself a real girlfriend, one you can actually touch and hold.

 

Never happened to me after age 15, because girlfriends were women I'd had sex with.

Edited August 4, 2018 by BritManToo

[Thaiwrath]

One of the numerous (other) suitors, on a dating website,obviously came in with a better offer.

If this "ripped your heart out", I'm afraid Thailand is not for you.

[PatOngo]

It's a roll of the dice...……..sometimes luckeee, sometimes not.

[TumblinDice]

Hey, I realize its all over. I'd just like a explanation from her as to what happened. I'm not crying about it because I knew it was a long shot, just bewildered that she won't say anything & completely cuts communication. And to me it sounds like this "saving face" BS that Thais live by. That, I'm trying to get my head around & asking if there's been others who experienced similar. I've never known western women to cut & run without some kind of verbal last word.

 

BritManToo, your studly ways are commendable. Keep it up! 

 

[cornishcarlos]

She got a pay rise, simple as that....

 

Just messing... There could be numerous reason that you don't know about. Family pressure, cold feet, financial problems etc etc

Like you say "Face"... Rather than get into it with you, it's better to just shut it all out. She might be hurting too but not able to admit it !!

 

 

Edited August 4, 2018 by cornishcarlos

[dotpoom]

You think this only happens in Thailand?

  Wherever there are humans... you will get all-sorts of human behaviour.

[b17]

What do you do?  You get up, dust yourself off, and realize that you have just dodged a bullet. 

 

“Success and failure can both make you lose appetite and concentration, don't let it bother or over-excite you, just think them away as a mere thing that had just happened, and get along with your life.

Michael Bassey Johnson

[ehs818]

A similar thing happened to me.  Here's what I know for sure. Thais don't like any type of confrontation. They work hard to avoid it, but you'll not see that on their faces. They just feel it's better to cut off all contact rather than having to explain, face to face with you, what changed. It doesn't matter if she's found another guy or not. In their minds it's over and there's no need to invest any more effort or time in you. Chalk it up to experience as I did. In my case it turned out that she had been seeing more than just me, and this is a nice girl with a good job from an international company, a good education, and a great family. At the end of the year that she had cut off contact with me, I sent out New Year greetings to everyone I know, including her. About 6 weeks later I got a reply from her, totally unexpected. She said she hoped that I would be happy for her and that she'd gotten married in December. I never replied back to her email.

 

[DoctorG]

A lot of people do not like confrontation, and prefer to not do the "why? but why?" scenario.

[DGS1244]

She doesn't need to explain, she is Thai. Move on get a life. TIT

[Peterw42]

OP, This sounds like maybe you have read more into the relationship than she has. The fact that it has happend to you more than once maybe says you push a little hard, and see things as you want them to be rather than what they are. 

 

She has probably cut off communications because you have a history of not accepting that it was a friendship rather than a romance. Thai girls avoid confrontation etc, so she has possibly not corrected you on the status of the relationship (in your eyes). She has probably told you 127 times (without being to confrontational) you are just friends, and you have chosen to ignore it. you have left her with no choice other than cut off communications.

Edited August 4, 2018 by Peterw42

[worgeordie]

She has found someone better,who is local,just get over it,

shit happens all the time.

 

regards worgeordie

 

[Vacuum]

47 minutes ago, cornishcarlos said:

She got a pay rise, simple as that....

 

Just messing...

In fact, I think you could be spot on. Have seen this happen many times.

[maccastime]

I retired in 2011 relocated to los.with a Thai lady that I met in Aus lived in aus for 13 years.after 1 year in Thailand and her heading off to hundreds of temples. I did a few with her but not as many as her. She meets a Thai lad. So after catching her out. Booked her on a one way ticket back to Australia.stayed alone for 6 months. Then met a lovely Thai lady we got on extra well. Then late 2016 she has a bleed on the brain never really recoved. Sadly she passed away in January this year.i think about her a lot. So sad but life can be so cruel. 

[transam]

Would think most women and blokes deal with stuff in their own way, nothing to do with her being Thai. At least you haven't ended up on a slab chap...?

[milwaukeeboy]

Time to pick up your heartbroken in Thailand membership card.

PM me for application details and instruction for annual fee payment.

[Daveyh]

She has definitely moved on ....... you should do the same. Don't dwell on it .......... no point. She's found something else that just might be better than what she had ............. Thai thinking is their family & what she can do to improve her quality of life. It's always money, money & money ............ which is of course "survival" here. My view? ............... relationships are for fools here. The women are beautiful & enjoy your stay here ................. "pay as you go" ......... you'll be a lot happier! Good luck & happy hunting eh?

[anthony0339]

1 hour ago, TumblinDice said:

Hey, I realize its all over. I'd just like a explanation from her as to what happened. I'm not crying about it because I knew it was a long shot, just bewildered that she won't say anything & completely cuts communication. And to me it sounds like this "saving face" BS that Thais live by. That, I'm trying to get my head around & asking if there's been others who experienced similar. I've never known western women to cut & run without some kind of verbal last word.

 

BritManToo, your studly ways are commendable. Keep it up! 

 

Pick up the dam phone and call her on her phone number and not on social. That will get your closure. It may also demonstrate to her that you are fighting for her. Open another social media account and add her again. Send a direct SMS message. Don’t just sit on your ass if you really like her. 

[Proboscis]

Since you did not meet her in a bar, she was a "good" girl. Such girls are generally looking for the best marriage material. And yes, they will declare undying love etc while still playing the field. But because Thai girls know the male of the species so well, they always have a plan b, a plan c etc. 

 

What has happened in your case is either a) some other dude who appears to fit the bill has taken your place or b) she found out something about you that had her running to plan b or c) you were plan b all along but you did not know it. Often, the guy who lives abroad is plan b because he is so manageable. She can tell plan a guy that she has to go visit her mother whenever you come to Thailand and spend that time with you and no one is the wiser. It is an argument for not maintaining such long distance relationships with Thai women.

 

Most foreigners who have spent time in Thailand and most Thais who are honest with you will tell you to get over it in whatever way you can as soon as you can and move on. The reason is that it is not worth spending time on because no one benefits, certainly not you. Some people do this by getting drunk for a week, some people do this by therapy, meditation or going on a walking holiday and some just go out and sleep with the prettiest girl they can find and that seems to do the trick.

[ChiangMaiLightning2143]

You have been #Ghosted that is how  young people break up these days.

Calling will not be of any use she will most likely ignore you, to save face.

 

Never happened to me (with a Thai Girl). I do the dumping and they can be hard to get rid of.

 

[klauskunkel]

Just as an experiment:

tell her you won the lottery in Canada,... and see what happens...

[TumblinDice]

13 minutes ago, anthony0339 said:

Pick up the dam phone and call her on her phone number and not on social. That will get your closure. It may also demonstrate to her that you are fighting for her. Open another social media account and add her again. Send a direct SMS message. Don’t just sit on your ass if you really like her. 

Thats what I've tried, 2 ph n#s, even a second FB account. She's completely cut me off. Its so ridiculous that she cant admit whatever it is. I've accepted that its over. Knowing this about her I wouldn't want to be with someone who can pull this off without a conscience.  I just want to know what it was.

[fantom]

9 minutes ago, ChiangMaiLightning2143 said:

You have been #Ghosted that is how  young people break up these days.

Calling will not be of any use she will most likely ignore you, to save face.

 

Interesting to speculate just who is trying to 'save face' here.  It is a western phenomena too.

[bannork]

11 minutes ago, TumblinDice said:

Thats what I've tried, 2 ph n#s, even a second FB account. She's completely cut me off. Its so ridiculous that she cant admit whatever it is. I've accepted that its over. Knowing this about her I wouldn't want to be with someone who can pull this off without a conscience.  I just want to know what it was.

Lots of good advice here TD, ( love The Stones). You probably did read more into the romance than she did but I understand your desire to know the real reason for the cut off. You need closure. 

Seeing she won't respond at all, do you have any other contacts at the school you both worked at? Any friends there who might be able to fill you in on what happened? Or any of her friends on Facebook whom you know? You could drop them a line, explaining you'd like to know what happened.

[sammieuk1]

If all go's to form when her new love has had his cash exhausted she will return your calls and the course of true love will resume?  

[Colabamumbai]

Better she cut you off now and not some of your body parts later.

[IAMHERE]

Alternate Scenario: She was raped against her will by the local headman or his son or maybe the school administrator or police, and as one of the results feels unworthy of you.  Many reasons that she'd cut off all communications, some with nothing to do with you.