Are Thai Ladies Justified In Being Paid Every Month By Their Boyfriend/Husband, Or Does It Create The Perception Of Long Term Prostitution?

[BritManToo]

9 hours ago, Spidey said:

I came to Thailand and stayed for the same reasons as you. However, I was very happily married in my own country for 30 years and now I'm very happily married here.

 

First one dead or divorced?

[Damrongsak]

5 minutes ago, JLCrab said:

Wonderful.

Yes, it was.  A lot better than working out in the hot sun with dirt-poor Thai farmers, although we liked to bitch about government  workers and whatnot.  Who doesn't?  

 

I did make friends.  How about you?

[JLCrab]

8 minutes ago, Damrongsak said:

<snip> I did make friends.  How about you?

Of the kind of friends I want here in Thailand, enough. BTW my first extended trips here in Thailand were as a skilled volunteer with US Government certification at a large Thai NGO under auspices of HM the late King so I wasn't your garden variety tourist.

Edited August 9, 2018 by JLCrab

[Damrongsak]

3 minutes ago, JLCrab said:

Of the kind of friends I want here in Thailand, enough.

Fair enough.  I got mostly relatives, which isn't much choice, but turned out mostly OK. Sis-in-Law across the street talks like a pissed-off parrot in Isaan speak, but what the hell. 

[Spidey]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

First one dead or divorced?

Very much alive and well and still my best friend.

[anon537687643]

Lazy lazy lazy! Any relationship based on paying a partner just to be a “partner”, failure


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[anon537687643]

That's the point so many "Westerners" seem to overlook. They have this impression that the women "back home" never ask for money and are more than happy to just spend their lives in the house, doing all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, kid-raising and "wifely duties" for free.
Because they don't give her a "monthly allowance".

But they forget that she (usually) has access to the "joint account" and spends whatever she wants from "his" paycheque. Oh but that is totally different than if he "gives" the money to her once a month (or whatever). Because if she takes it from a joint account she's a "wife" but if he gives the same money to her then she's a "gold digging hooker".

But take a "super stud" from back home, fresh off his (1st, 2nd, 3rd) divorce, let him loose in Thailand and he thinks that all women should be so grateful he is willing to sleep with them that they should stop whatever they are doing and spend the rest of their lives servicing him (for free). (There really are guys over here that think exactly like that. I've met them and they are not the studs they think they are. It doesn't usually take long to figure out why they have been divorced so often "back home".)

Most of them have NO clue that many of those women (and probably a lot of the men) have a family to take care of back (wherever) and that in this culture, the child (male or female) is often responsible to support the parents in their old age (instead of shipping them off to some old folks home like people do in countries that are supposedly "50 years ahead" of Thailand).

Supporting one's self on a low salary job is hard enough. Even harder when they may be sending half their salary home every month. Probably even harder if they are living with someone who won't even give them a pittance every month as a gesture for all they do in the relationship (even if that person is paying all the bills). Not to mention that the little extra "allowance" can go along way towards "teerak's" social standing in her home/village. ("Face" and "social standing" can be extremely important in one's home village, especially if people know she is living with a foreigner.)

(I've known girls that were living 3 to a studio apartment and sharing a single bed so that they could afford to send half their monthly salary home and that salary was maybe 4,500-5,000 baht a month.)
 
The "studs" also forget that (in most cases) over here, they aren't sharing a bank account with their teerak so she can't just take whatever she wants/needs every month. If they were married and she had access to the bank account then she (probably) wouldn't be asking for any additional money every month.
(But of course there's always the chance that those guys aren't the studs they think they are and could wake up one morning to find teerak gone and the bank account empty !)
 

Oh dear. Someone truly assimilated into Thai life!


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[rodney earl]

They are all selling themselves. Now we have worked out what you are we can haggle over the price.!!!

[tingtongtourist]

I suppose OPs theory is its only because this is Thailand, that giving a girl some spending money makes her a prossie?

 

someone is trolling here or what?

 

in the old days, the man went and worked and lady stay at home to make kids and handle (most) the money and bills. ifs nothing new.

 

anyway some thoughts regard to Thai:

 

-IF your GF dont work and you think she should exist on no money and begging from you?

give yourself a smack in the chops

 

-IF you expect or even allow your GF to go work here, and get peanuts, what? 10-15k a month?

give yourself a smack in the chops.

 

-IF your GF works and gets over 15k month and she asks for money.

-give her a smack in the chops

[smotherb]

9 hours ago, JLCrab said:

Some are --some aren't -- PookLook at 170 cm

Small, compared to western women

[JLCrab]

7 minutes ago, smotherb said:

Small, compared to western women

Measured average height, weight, and waist circumference for adults aged 20 and over

CDC data

• Women:
  Height in inches: 63.7
  .https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/body-measurements.htm

[Spidey]

28 minutes ago, tingtongtourist said:

I suppose OPs theory is its only because this is Thailand, that giving a girl some spending money makes her a prossie?

 

someone is trolling here or what?

 

in the old days, the man went and worked and lady stay at home to make kids and handle (most) the money and bills. ifs nothing new.

 

anyway some thoughts regard to Thai:

 

-IF your GF dont work and you think she should exist on no money and begging from you?

give yourself a smack in the chops

 

-IF you expect or even allow your GF to go work here, and get peanuts, what? 10-15k a month?

give yourself a smack in the chops.

 

-IF your GF works and gets over 15k month and she asks for money.

-give her a smack in the chops

When I had 2 small children, back in farangland, my wife gave up work to look after the kids. had a joint bank account.

 

When my Thai girlfriend and I moved in together she was working as a chef in a restaurant and earning 12k baht per month, 6 days per week, 12 hours per day. Never saw her and she was knackered when I did. For me it was a no brainer that she gave up work. She now takes care of our young son and we do everything together. I give her a small allowance.

 

No difference really.

Edited August 9, 2018 by Spidey

[Spidey]

23 minutes ago, JLCrab said:

Measured average height, weight, and waist circumference for adults aged 20 and over

CDC data

• Women:
  Height in inches: 63.7
  .https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/body-measurements.htm

My farang wife is 5' 3". My Thai wife is 4' 11".

[Kwasaki]

12 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

My wife also did.

 

My Austrian wife kept her last name.

Reminds me my eldest daughter didn't want to change our family name so her married name was registered double barreled with her husbands name first and her maiden name last. 

[tingtongtourist]

7 minutes ago, Spidey said:

When I had 2 small children, back in farangland, my wife gave up work to look after the kids. had a joint bank account.

 

When my Thai girlfriend and I moved in together she was working as a chef in a restaurant and earning 12k baht per month, 6 days per week, 12 hours per day. Never saw her and she was knackered when I did. For me it was a no brainer that she gave up work. She now takes care of our young son and we do everything together. I give her a small allowance.

 

No difference really.

yes congrats on your good life. I believe this is how it should be.

It make me wonder in some of the bad break-up stories you read here if it more the guys fault also.

 

What kind of farang would have his wife/gf work those hours? for what? $500 a month pfff.

when i did work i get double this in 1 week.

 

And these old guys with the young wife who probably are mean and constantly pinching for every penny also.

no wonder why they will leave.

 

[anon537687643]

I suppose OPs theory is its only because this is Thailand, that giving a girl some spending money makes her a prossie?
 
someone is trolling here or what?
 
in the old days, the man went and worked and lady stay at home to make kids and handle (most) the money and bills. ifs nothing new.
 
anyway some thoughts regard to Thai:
 
-IF your GF dont work and you think she should exist on no money and begging from you?
give yourself a smack in the chops
 
-IF you expect or even allow your GF to go work here, and get peanuts, what? 10-15k a month?
give yourself a smack in the chops.
 
-IF your GF works and gets over 15k month and she asks for money.
-give her a smack in the chops

Someone else should get a smack in the chops for such arrogance ! Many work for 10-15k . Why shouldn’t a GF if she isn’t paying bills in the home! If not it’s a case of lying on the bed playing Facebook and games !


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[Kwasaki]

4 minutes ago, tingtongtourist said:

And these old guys with the young wife who probably are mean and constantly pinching for every penny also.

no wonder why they will leave.

Which ones are they please elaborate.

[outlaw11wa]

In a country where if the man leaves a lady she is often unable via the legal system receive maintenance payments from him one can relate to her wanting security

Planning for the future

 

as my ex said to me she will not look sexy forever. How shallow she was?

Plenty of older ugly guys out there willing to take what they can get

 

Therefore are monthly payments reasonable even if she works,

Making it "monthly" payments is lazy people. You are not buying a car or paying a mortgage.

Why not just share the costs as they arrive, sure the foreinger is probably more in a position to do a greater proportion. The extras you choose to bestow upon her beyond that surely are to show your respect, concern and love for her and the responsibilities to her family. If you are paying for the real expenses-utilities etc then that also helps to create a degree of trust that the money is going to a real need. Also, knowing that Thailand is and always has been a Matriarchy in social and domestic responsibility you will understand she hopes to increase her ability to provide for her family, parents etc back in the village. Learn this is part of Thai culture - you won't change it.These are real benefits for her in her relationship with you. She does not take them lightly. She is a realist in this sense.

 

 or is it yet another reason why Thailand is 50 years behind the developed world?

Is it? The western manifestation of marriage seems to be when a woman gets married she then "owns" the man. Till death do we part. That notion seems to be the major stumbling block that destroys people and relationships. We all get one life. Don't give it away to someone else. Share it with someone else on your terms. And vice-versa for your partner.  Western woman are indoctrinated from birth to grow up, have some fun , but be sure to snag a meal ticket where the guy pays. Thai -Bhuddist culture tends to indoctrinate " be the best "you' you can be , don't expect others to run your life, the harder you work - the luckier you get.

Maybe they are not 50 years behind - they just skipped 50 years of the bullshit.

 

One also has to have some sympathy if a lady is left with young children?

Here shows the worth of the man. If they are your offspring, you know your responsibilty. How you proceed from there, defines your mettle, and you have to live with that. The values you show on this point deny or confirm your overall feeling of fairness in this the OP's topic.

 

For me - I enjoy the best relationship of my life with my Thai wife. What she adds to my life is priceless.

I pay for the Toyota Pickup we bought. It gives me more freedom to get around when im there. I pay the rental on her Hair and Beauty Salon so she doesn't have to worry if business is slow and she can spent more time on the farm or selling flowers in the market. I pay the school fees and upkeep etc for her two boys from her previous marriage (her Thai ex skipped town 8 years before i met her). I take  out as many of the expenses in her life as viable and she works her ass off to get the best income she can. When i do give her extra money she spends it on extra flowers to sell in the market. I think it is her way of earning everything she gets in life. She has no concept of such a thing as a "free-feed". The only successful way to pamper her is I have to take her out or take her shopping and buy her the things she would never spend money on if i gave it to her in cash. Maybe I am in a rare relationship but I don't think so. I have a number of friends whose relationships display many of these same signs and characteristics.

If this reply doesn't meet you approval all I can say is TIT (This is Thailand) get with the program or move on...haha.

 

Lets see if that stirs up a flurry of replies... I waiting for a Gong......

 

 

[4MyEgo]

Bottom line, divorce, separation is ugly for kids, however if the partners can be amicable (hard) for the benefit of the kids, then all and good, one can hope they will grow into an emotionally balanced and confident life.

 

Give what you can afford for your kids, assuming the mother is responsible and will put the money towards the kids as opposed to pissing up the wall.

 

I would suggest 10,000 baht per child per month would not be unreasonable as the little farkers are costly to raise, milk, nappies, clothes, food, entertainment, school and the associated costs that go with it as they grow.

[Spidey]

18 minutes ago, tingtongtourist said:

It make me wonder in some of the bad break-up stories you read here if it more the guys fault also.

Apart from the guys who chose a Thai wife purely on the basis that they gave them good/easy sex, I would say that the vast majority of breakups are the guys fault.

[Hummin]

10 minutes ago, Spidey said:

Apart from the guys who chose a Thai wife purely on the basis that they gave them good/easy sex, I would say that the vast majority of breakups are the guys fault.

lack of social antennas I would say! 

[seajae]

nothing wrong when a husband gives his wife money to spend on the house etc, having to pay for her and her family  so that she will remain with you is something else, if she is only with you for your money then it is not a marriage. You are supposed to marry for love not finances, if you have to pay for them to stay with you then its a farce at best and remaining in the relationship is a joke although those that marry "pretties' or much younger females to boost their ego's deserve all the crap that happens and  the costs involved

Edited August 9, 2018 by seajae

[JLCrab]

Agreed That's why I have told the Thai girls, as far as marriage, forgedaboutit.

[tingtongtourist]

2 hours ago, markaoffy said:

Someone else should get a smack in the chops for such arrogance ! Many work for 10-15k . Why shouldn’t a GF if she isn’t paying bills in the home! If not it’s a case of lying on the bed playing Facebook and games !


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My comment is more in regard to the guy who complain they never see the wife or she never do anything, to tired from long hours working.

 

Arrogant? well i could not find myself to ask her working so long for the same money what i spend in 2-3 nights check binning.

 

but yes i also experienced in the FB and lazing about all day like you mentioned. 

Up to her, i was told.. At least that dont cost you anything!

shes gone now though!

 

Being single is best at least Thai guys been telling me that now for over 10 years.

 

and yes I will smack myself in the chops quite often when wake up and see i spent 5000 the night before.

[tingtongtourist]

2 hours ago, Kwasaki said:

Which ones are they please elaborate.

well an example might be the guys 70y.o and want a very young woman of a childbearing age

and then they will complain loudly if she ask him for a few baht for their kid. amazing really

[lannarebirth]

Whomever makes the most money should make the greatest contribution. Whomever is best at handling money (paying bills, saving, investing) should handle the money. If trust and financial competency are m/l equal then accounts should be open for whichever partmer to utilize as necessary for each other's behalf.

[sanemax]

7 minutes ago, tingtongtourist said:

well an example might be the guys 70y.o and want a very young woman of a childbearing age

and then they will complain loudly if she ask him for a few baht for their kid. amazing really

That's all  extremely  exaggerated   

[Lacessit]

15 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I think all women are worth the same, $30-$50 a go (depending on age and looks).

European women generally think they're worth much more, which is why I'm here.

With your attitude to sex, wouldn't it be cheaper and simpler to buy one of those rubber dolls?

[Kwasaki]

16 minutes ago, tingtongtourist said:

well an example might be the guys 70y.o and want a very young woman of a childbearing age

and then they will complain loudly if she ask him for a few baht for their kid. amazing really

Possibly but I have not known or heard of such.

[BritManToo]

2 hours ago, 4MyEgo said:

Give what you can afford for your kids, assuming the mother is responsible and will put the money towards the kids as opposed to pissing up the wall.

 

I've always had the policy of paying 100% for my kids that live with me and absolutely nothing for my kids that live with her.

Seems to work out OK.