Abusive aggressive wife

[dickjones2018]

What is the chance that a farang can file a complain/divorce against his abusive physical aggressive wife and get full custody for a child when even the child can be witness of the out of control verbal & physical aggression ON husband (dad) based on insanity or other mental problem that became clear during the marriage and is getting worse ?

 

the wife has no problem with insults, hitting, scratching even pulling a knife when out of control...

 

seem many thai women are just plain narcissist & not right in the head

 

(child report that mother's of friends in school also act super selfish, full of themselves, no regard for others or child, narcissist)

 

look up :  toxic narcissist

 

 

malignant narcissism as a syndrome characterized by a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), antisocial features, paranoid traits, and egosyntonic aggression. Other symptoms may include an absence of conscience, a psychological need for power, and a sense of importance (grandiosity).

 

 

that describes my wife perfectly

 

 

fights, not argues or talks about small things (that a normal person would not do) and she really wants me to act like her and hit her back so she can go complain at the police station but I always try to keep my cool

 

maybe you learn something new today, maybe not

 

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance and exaggerates achievements and talents.
2. Dreams of unlimited power, success, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
3. Believes he or she is special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions.
4. Requires excessive admiration.
5. Unreasonably expects special, favorable treatment or compliance with his or her wishes.
6. Exploits and takes advantage of others to achieve personal ends.
7. Lacks empathy for the feelings and needs of others.
8. Envies others or believes they’re envious of him or her.
9. Has arrogant behaviors or attitudes.

 

 

[BestB]

Have you considered going to police station and asking THEM what your chances were to file a complain?

 

 

[sirmud63]

you only have one option when it comes to narsisstic / toxic personalitys.

cut and run forest run .

[from the home of CC]

This scenario is not taken too seriously in the west, although well documented. The chances of getting action here Imo are low. If you can, try to get video evidence (surreptitiously of course). Like it's said, pics are worth a thousand words.

[FritsSikkink]

It is getting worse because she gets away with it. 

Don't take that shit.

[FritsSikkink]

9 minutes ago, sirmud63 said:

you only have one option when it comes to narsisstic / toxic personalitys.

cut and run forest run .

why run? try to act like a man.

[sirmud63]

2 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

why run? try to act like a man.

you really dont have any idea , do you ?

[simon43]

I had the same problem with my bipolar (now ex) Thai wife about 12 or so years ago.  She would fight like a crazy person, throw plates and knives at me.  Her family all agreed that she was 'nuts', but refused to support me to take legal (or medical) action against her.

 

After putting up with several years of this kind of abuse, I realised that if I stayed with her, I'd go nuts as well ????  I got divorced and left after she had a baby by some Thai guy...

 

Seriously, I'd not even think about going to Court against your wife ==> waste of time and money.

[Lacessit]

I the OP a poster with a new identity? Because I can remember reading something very similar a couple of years ago.

Just leave. A farang vs a Thai in the Thai police or legal system has the dice loaded against them.

[AlexRich]

You must leave, and take your child with you. If you can take her to to your home country until she is adult age even better. People who threaten with knives will someday use them, given that we spend a third of our lives sleeping I would not take that risk.

[tubby johnson]

If you're not willing to toughen up and fight back like a man, then pack your stuff and leave ... to somewhere far away where she can't ever find you again.

[CanuckThai]

I can feel for the OP (my western ex).  Not to bash, but isn't the list of 9 traits/symptoms typical of a majority of Thai's...

[AlexRich]

2 minutes ago, tubby johnson said:

If you're not willing to toughen up and fight back like a man, then pack your stuff and leave ... to somewhere far away where she can't ever find you again.

 

It's not the OK Corral, it's not about toughening up or any of that other nonsense you hear people constantly spout ... the man has a child and he's the only decent example of an adult in her life ... beating the crap out of his wife won't solve the issue, it will make it worse. He'll be in jail and his kid will be being raised by a maniac.

[fanjita]

16 minutes ago, AlexRich said:

beating the crap out of his wife won't solve the issue, it will make it worse.

In the words of Ali G, aiii. 

 

The OP is doing the right thing looking for sensible advice in how to extricate his kid and himself from this intolerable and destructive situation.  

 

If he didn't have the kid then he would obviously walk, but he has to be careful in regard his child otherwise they'll both suffer further.

 

Try not to read too much into the psychological aspect and just understand that your wife is plain nuts.  Simple as that.  You're not Sigmund Freud and there's no need to be.

 

Anyway, get a lawyer and make a report to the BiB for starters.

 

 

 

[Hummin]

19 minutes ago, tubby johnson said:

If you're not willing to toughen up and fight back like a man, then pack your stuff and leave ... to somewhere far away where she can't ever find you again.

You can not fight back with a sick person, you have to be smart, do the right ting as getting custody of the kids and leave as soon as possible before the kids get hurt to much or hurt more. 

[NanLaew]

The OP's child is being spoken of in an abstract, third person context such as 'a' and 'the' child and not the possessive 'our' or 'my' child.

[FritsSikkink]

4 hours ago, sirmud63 said:

you really dont have any idea , do you ?

I don't give a monkeys how others see me.

[FritsSikkink]

3 hours ago, AlexRich said:

 

It's not the OK Corral, it's not about toughening up or any of that other nonsense you hear people constantly spout ... the man has a child and he's the only decent example of an adult in her life ... beating the crap out of his wife won't solve the issue, it will make it worse. He'll be in jail and his kid will be being raised by a maniac.

You don't have to beat the crap out of somebody if you have a brain and aren't afraid. 

[NanLaew]

5 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

You don't have to beat the crap out of somebody if you have a brain and aren't afraid. 

...and wear kevlar. Don't forget the kevlar.

 

Also, being able to stay awake 24/7 is very handy.

[BritManToo]

4 hours ago, dickjones2018 said:

the wife has no problem with insults, hitting, scratching even pulling a knife when out of control...

Sounds like my former Thai wife, and all my former live-in Thai girlfriends.

I thought it was normal.

[onera1961]

Before I can comment, let me ask you a few things. If you don't want to answer, it is OK. Are you living in Issan? Does her friends also married to Farangs? Is she adequately supported financially (A women needs more than a roof to live and eat)? Do you feel her dream is shattered due to your financial situation? What is the age difference? Did you marry her for kids only? Can you take her to your home country? 

[totally thaied up]

4 hours ago, BestB said:

Have you considered going to police station and asking THEM what your chances were to file a complain?

 

 

I think it will be pretty much a nothing answer. My sister-in-law got punched out in her job last week by a worker she was with and the police did nothing apart from give a 500 baht fine.

 

4 hours ago, simon43 said:

had the same problem with my bipolar (now ex) Thai wife about 12 or so years ago.  She would fight like a crazy person, throw plates and knives at me.  Her family all agreed that she was 'nuts', but refused to support me to take legal (or medical) action against her.

 

After putting up with several years of this kind of abuse, I realised that if I stayed with her, I'd go nuts as well ????  I got divorced and left after she had a baby by some Thai guy...

 

Seriously, I'd not even think about going to Court against your wife ==> waste of time and money.

Lol... I am bipolar and yes, unmedicated you can go nuts. I would be looking at a way out as well. If she does not want to be mediated or the such, you are not going to change anything and you may end up with a knife in the ribs.

 

4 hours ago, AlexRich said:

 

It's not the OK Corral, it's not about toughening up or any of that other nonsense you hear people constantly spout ... the man has a child and he's the only decent example of an adult in her life ... beating the crap out of his wife won't solve the issue, it will make it worse. He'll be in jail and his kid will be being raised by a maniac.

This is so true. She will win, not you.

 

3 hours ago, fanjita said:

If he didn't have the kid then he would obviously walk, but he has to be careful in regard his child otherwise they'll both suffer further.

 

Try not to read too much into the psychological aspect and just understand that your wife is plain nuts.  Simple as that.  You're not Sigmund Freud and there's no need to be.

 

Anyway, get a lawyer and make a report to the BiB for starters.

Depends how the police will see it all. But maybe getting it all on Video would be a good start. Having proof would be the main thing to make the BiB act on something.

[BritManToo]

31 minutes ago, totally thaied up said:

Having proof would be the main thing to make the BiB act on something.

That and 5,000bht in a plain brown envelope.

[fanjita]

1 hour ago, onera1961 said:

Before I can comment, let me ask you a few things. If you don't want to answer, it is OK. Are you living in Issan? Does her friends also married to Farangs? Is she adequately supported financially (A women needs more than a roof to live and eat)? Do you feel her dream is shattered due to your financial situation? What is the age difference? Did you marry her for kids only? Can you take her to your home country? 

Total nonsense but I'll have a go to satisfy your nonsense questions.

 

Are you living in Issan? No.

Does her friends also married to Farangs? No.

Is she adequately supported financially (A women needs more than a roof to live and eat)? Yes.

Do you feel her dream is shattered due to your financial situation? No.

What is the age difference? Nineteen years.

Did you marry her for kids only? No, we don't have kids even after ten years of marriage.

Can you take her to your home country? Yes, she has a British passport.

 

What the heck is your point, onera1961?  You do seem to be more than a little idiotic in your approach.  

[onera1961]

1 minute ago, fanjita said:

What the heck is your point, onera1961?  You do seem to be more than a little idiotic in your approach.  

I apologize. If you could take her to your home country, go there for few a moths (tell her going there for vacation) and if her behavior does not change, you can file for divorce in your home country and ask for proper child custody and child support, if that is what she wants. 

[AlexRich]

1 hour ago, FritsSikkink said:

You don't have to beat the crap out of somebody if you have a brain and aren't afraid. 

 

If you have a brain, you get out with the child, it’s really that simple.

[fanjita]

2 minutes ago, onera1961 said:

I apologize. If you could take her to your home country, go there for few a moths (tell her going there for vacation) and if her behavior does not change, you can file for divorce in your home country and ask for proper child custody and child support, if that is what she wants. 

You're no help and simply talking complete and utter nonsense.  

[onera1961]

16 minutes ago, fanjita said:

You're no help and simply talking complete and utter nonsense.

I am telling you to do what most people do in Western countries. If she has mental problem, she can get treatment and marriage counseling for that which may be lacking in Thailand. She may also change her behavior in a new environment. There are proper procedures to take care of this type of behavior in a Western country.

[fanjita]

1 minute ago, hyku1147 said:

Can you get child custody?

He will if he's properly advised legally.  Jeez.  

[crazykopite]

17 hours ago, FritsSikkink said:

why run? try to act like a man.

The guy has already stated that she has pulled a knife on him better to run than end up in the local temple .