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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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aaaand cue cheese puns in..5.......4.........3........2........

 

10 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

How the khrap is he gonna khrap

I don't think he would manage to have even one job with that layout.  Think  "Bill Connolly and the Jobbie weacha" for the Scottish meaning of "Job(bie)" or "Job"

Need to have some blood spots on the symbol and a blood soaked sword hanging from the roof to make this work properly !!

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Man !, I gave this one far too much thought !!

Gotta get off TVF !, i fear for my sanity !!

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5 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

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aaaand cue cheese puns in..5.......4.........3........2........

 

Please, no cheese puns - I camembert it ... (well, just one more)

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That lad who sang the 'hokey cokey' died the other day. It took ages to get him into the coffin;

 

They put his left arm in,
his right are out:
In, out, in, out.
then they let him fall out.

 

They did the the hokey cokey,
and they turned him round.


And that's what it's all about.

 

Two bananas were half peeled by the side of the river, taking in the sun. Just upstream a buffalo did a big one. But so as not to pollute the water he picked it up and put it in a plastic bag. And then chucked it into the water (must have been a Thai buffalo!)

 

The plastic bag floated downstream, and as it got alongside the bananas it said "come on in guys, the water's lovely." One banana said to the other "let's go in." The other banana said "take no notice; he's full of <deleted>."

On 9/9/2019 at 9:35 AM, Andrew Dwyer said:

Poor old dad !!

I am surprised your dad is still driving an undertaker's vehicle at his age!

I am surprised your dad is still driving an undertaker's vehicle at his age!

And more amazingly he was driving from inside the box !!
19 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

aaaand cue cheese puns in..5.......4.........3........2........

It would be churlish of me to disobey your command!

(don't blame me for what follows as you asked for it)

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Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

 

Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

 

Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."

 

I got a sweater for my birthday. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

 

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

 

I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

 

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

 

I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.

 

Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

22 minutes ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

 


And more amazingly he was driving from inside the box !!

At least he must have been thinking outside the box to do it.

Bloody back seat drivers, they will be the death of someone.

 

A chief research economist at the Thai Ministry of Finance has been appointed honourary Professor of Physics at Thamasat University, in recognition of both his General and Special Theories of Bangkok Tax Returns, in which he proves that the whole fabric of the space-time continuum is not merely curved, it is in fact totally bent.

It would be churlish of me to disobey your command!
(don't blame me for what follows as you asked for it)



Enough !! , I surrender !!

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