1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

My uncle died the other day. He was a deck chair attendant.
It took them five attempts before they got him in the coffin.

And the guy who invented the Hokey Cokey died as well. Took hours to get all of him in the coffin.

*NAPKINS for Special occasions  

My mother taught me to read when I was four years old (her first mistake).

 

One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet that said "sanitary napkins" . I then asked my mother why she was keeping  ''napkins" in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the kitchen?

 

Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me that those were for big people on 'special occasions' (her second mistake).

 

Now fast forward a few months .... It's a special Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up my uncle and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to set the table.

 

When they returned, my uncle came in first and immediately burst into laughter.

 

Next came his wife who gasped.

Next came my father, who roared with laughter.

 

Then came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a "special occasion napkin" at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top.

I had even tucked the little flaps in so they didn't hang off the edge!!

 

My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter.

 

'But, Mom, you said they were to use for big people on special occasions!!!'

 

6 hours ago, roo860 said:

It might because he is a white male!

(see UK news about RAF recruiting only from minority backgrounds)

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.