12 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Alright, I hope I don't fetch Crossy's coat by mistake.

Yeah! 

Don't do that as he needs that to hide his embarrassment as runs (drips) from the brothel!

 

(Hint;  see earlier jokes! above)

Irish knocks the door looking for some work.

Lady answers and she's holding a paint brush.

Need work she says? Hands the brush and goes inside and comes back with a tin of paint.

Go round the back she says and paint the porch.

30 min later he knocks the door and says I've finished and by the way it's a jaguar not a porch.

10 hours ago, roo860 said:

Except when the silly ****** said "I do" ????

Mate bought a guard dog for the house but it just kept letting everyone into the garden.

Turns out it was a UK Border Collie.

Give you a clue. Check the upstairs windows.....