Mr. Wilson comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck.

“I have great news. I’m a month overdue. I think we’re going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can’t tell anybody.”

The next day, Mrs Wilson receives a telephone call from AEC (Atlanta Electric Company) because the electricity bill has not been paid.

“Am I speaking to Mrs Wilson?”

“Yes. Speaking."

AEC guy, “You’re a month overdue, you know!”

“How do YOU know?”

stammers the young woman.

“Well, ma’am, it’s in our files!” says the AEC guy.

“What are you saying? It’s in your files. HOW?”

“Yes. We have a system of finding out who’s overdue.”

“GOD! This is too much.”

“Madam, I am sorry. I am following orders. I have to inform you are overdue.”

“I know that. Let me talk to my husband about this tonight. He will speak to your company tomorrow.”

That night, she tells her husband about the call, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to AEC office the next day morning.

“What’s going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?” the husband shouts.

“Just calm down,” says the lady at the reception at AEC, “It’s nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us.”

“PAY you? And if I refuse?”

 

“Well, in that case, sir, we’d have no option but to cut yours off.”

“And what would my wife do then?” the husband asks.

“I don’t know. I guess she’d have to use a candle.”

16 hours ago, owl sees all said:

It's old but still worth a life. Many different versions.

 

There was a new catholic lass at St Plods,

who thought babies came from the almighty.

But it wasn't Jesus's dad who took off her nightie,

It was bell-ringer Roger; the sod.

... It was Roger the lodger the sod.

The sign said 'Beware the Lama spits' and he was.

According to my wife's chocolate advent calendar, it's only three days to Christmas.

I've just bought a George Formby grill.
You put in a sausage, and when it's ready it says....."It's turned out nice again".

My wife turned to me in bed and asked, "Do you love me only because my father died and left me a fortune?"
"That's crazy. Of course not," I said. "I'd love you no matter who left you the money."

I used to work at a bowling alley.

Not permanent though, just tenpin.

A friend of mine was outbid at an auction for building land.

He lost the plot.