An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for his client. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.

As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, 'What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'. And on and on and on.

Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.

While he was in the bath, the phone rang.

The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all.

Wright would not be hanged tonight.

Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.

As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.

'They're not hanging Wright tonight,' she said.

He whirled around and screamed,

'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP?!'

58 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Bing sings but Walt Disney

In a small coastal town     good news bad news.

John hears a knock on the door, and opens it, there are the two local cops, holding some crabs

"Hi john, we were just down on the beach and brought you some crabs" 

"wow thanks guys"

"unfortunately john we have some bad news, we have found your wife drowned in the sea"

"Oh no i'll come now"

  pause

"Ok we'll drag her back in again"     ????????????

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22 hours ago, roo860 said:

Paid £2,500 for a new 3 piece suite to be delivered tomorrow so I gave my old one to a charity
Just had a phone call to say they can't deliver my suite for another 4 weeks
Anyone know where I stand.?

Anywhere you like - you've got plenty of space ????

 

Where is Daddy?