47 minutes ago, WorriedNoodle said:

Makes you wonder what they were drinking and smoking when they came up with those names...

RIP Ian Lavender.

 

1 minute ago, ballpoint said:

It'll get closer soon enough 

On 8/16/2021 at 5:24 PM, ravip said:

Accordion to a recent survey, 7 out of 10 people don't notice when a word in a sentence is replaced
by a musical instrument.

You almost got me on that one.

45 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

He/she should have known better than to park in front of the angry aunties house.

In a small town out west, an old priest became tired of listening to all the details when parishioners would confess to committing adultery. So he asked everyone to simply say “I’ve Fallen” during their confession. This code word was then used for many years.

Eventually the old priest retires and a new one takes his place. During his first week, the new priest starts to get concerned because everyone is complaining about falling. So the priest went to see the town mayor and asked him if the sidewalks needed repair because so many people are falling down.

The mayor starts laughing because he realizes that the new priest doesn't know that "fallen" is a code word. The confused priest then says to the mayor “Why are you laughing? ... Your own wife fell down three times this week!”.

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. A friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles." "She did," he replied. "But where in the hell was I gonna find a fake Jeep?"