Boeing NOTAM:

 

 

“Oh, great! Now there goes my hat!”

 

And then Al realized his problems were much bigger than just a smashed truck.

Damn. I'll have to try again next year now.

Two Jewish men just leaving the synagogue and they are chatting about the sermon and how long they have known each other.
Abraham says, “Benjamin, you are my best friend we have known each other since we were children, if I were homeless and you had two houses what would you do.”
Benjamin replies, “If I had two houses I’d give you one” “That’s very kind of you” replies Abraham.
“If my wife left me and took my car, what would you do?” asks Abraham, “well if I had two cars I’d give you one” says Benjamin.
“That's very kind of you, I can see now why you are my best friend, so what would you do if you had two chickens?” Benjamin interrupts and says…
“Now f*** off! You know I’ve got two chickens”

I saw my neighbour putting clothes on some rabbits this morning.

When I asked her why, she said she was training to be a hare dresser.

Two parrots sitting on a perch.
One said to the other, "Can you smell fish?"

Always Wear Underwear.

Always wear underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle.

 

From the local paper comes this story of a Brisbane couple who drove their car to the shopping centre, only to have their car break down in the car park.

 

The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car,

 

On closer inspection, she saw a pair of hairy legs protruding from under the chassis.

 

Unfortunately, although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned his private parts into glaringly public ones.

 

Unable to stand the embarrassment, She dutifully stepped forward and quickly put her hand up his shorts, and tucked everything back into place.

 

On regaining her feet, she looked across the bonnet and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by, watching,

 

The R_A.C.Q. mechanic however, had to have three stitches in his forehead,

20 hours ago, oxo1947 said:

Is that Joe Biden when he was younger? 

 

“Well, Mr. President, let’s see—carry the one, take away three, carry the two … that would be four score and seven years ago.”

 

 

“Hey! Now her whole head is out! … This is getting better every minute!”

 

At the Vincent van Gogh School of Art

 

 

 

 

“Well, here we go again! I always get the gurney with one bad wheel!”