It was over. But before the police could arrive, the rioting employees had already turned on one another, using the closest weapons at hand.

 

 

Canine social blunders

 

 

“Beats me how they did it … I got the whole thing at a garage sale for five bucks—and that included the stand.”

 

 

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so

I sat down and had a cold beer.

The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.

My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing,

and I said, "Nothing."

The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?"

At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.

Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?

Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?

Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.

Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:

A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."

But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."

I rest my case.

Time for another beer. Then maybe a nap.

Scotsman lying on his death bed, the end is near. 

 

"Is my wife here?" 

"Yes, dear" 

"Is my son here?"

"Yes, dad" 

"Is my beautiful daughter here?" 

"I am, dad." 

 

"Then why is the light on in the next room?"