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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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9 hours ago, dcsw53 said:

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She only shows that to you. What she's really showing people when asked to describe you is this:

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I took my clarinet back to the music shop,

"I don't know what it is, " I said, "I can only seem to be able to play one tune on it, Perfect Day, nothing else seems right or in tune. "

"Let's have a look, " said the assistant as he dismantled my clarinet,

"ha, there's the problem, looks like it was fitted with a Lou Reed. "

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I've just started work as a human chess piece.
The money's good, I'm on knights this week.

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I went to the barbers and asked to have my hair cut like Tom Cruise.

So he put a big cushion on the chair.

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Chinese takeaway: 14 quid.
Petrol to pick it up: 2 quid.
Getting home and finding that they've forgotten one of your containers; riceless.

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May be an image of signboard and text that says "135 leswe Are OeP OpenPlees Pleas Park Outside"

Ray shows up at the bar all out of breath so Dewey asks him what the hell is wrong with you?So Ray says "Ive been running from the cops but I finally lost them"Dewey then asked "what the hell did you do?"Ray replied " I was pissing in the shower and the cops showed up to arrest me!""That's not against the law" said Dewey,"That's what I thought," said Ray."But those guys at Home Depot sure must of thought it was"

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May be an image of snail and toy

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