4 hours ago, Crossy said:

My lad asked me if I had seen the Dog's bowl.

 

I said no, I  didn't know they could.

The punch line is:  'no, I didn't think they could play cricket'. 

I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine... he always gets better with age.

The next day she locked me in the wine cellar and said I could come out in ten years.

Warning. Sharing headphones is the number one cause of hearing aids.

Two new mothers sitting in a maternity hospital
One posh ,the other down to earth ...
Posh .....My husband bought me a sports car on the birth of my firstborn
Other woman ... Very nice !!
Posh . He bought me a villa in Spain for our second
Other... Very nice !!
Posh .. what did your husband buy you ..
Other... elocution lessons
Posh . Well they don,t seem to have worked
Other.. well they have . I use to say piss off but now I say Very nice !!

 

 

The perfect doormat.