When a fireman came in your mouth, eat Papaya salad. 

Anybody up for an orgasm? 

Just suck it!

The CIA was here...........

 

Does it take long for you? 

Open your mouth, son.......

Mjisdtakhes. 

Missionary's position can be boring. Get behind me then. 

Watch suicide teens still has tickets. Be fast. 

The foreigners dream job after a long quarantine. 

1 hour ago, VBF said:

What's the problem?

They're designed to have pricks in ????

 

45 minutes ago, jvs said:

Quote of the day!!!!!

Ok!  So I've been shafted again

(as the actress said to the bishop)!

On 10/9/2020 at 10:57 AM, ballpoint said:

They told me I'd never be good at poetry because I'm dyslexic, but I proved them wrong.

So far I've made 3 jugs and a vase.

Shouldn't that read 3 bugs and a case?

4 hours ago, sanuk711 said:

Which one?

Just now, fangless said:

At least Van Gogh was better.

You could tell him something, it would go in one ear and stay there.

An art thief once stole some very expensive paintings from the Louvre in Paris. He took two Van Goghs, a couple Monets, a DeGas, and some other paintings.
Everything went perfectly, except he was captured sitting in his van with the paintings only 2 blocks from the museum, his van had run out of fuel!

When asked by the police how he could plan such a successful robbery and then be foiled by such a simple error, he replied...

 

"I had no Monet to buy DeGas to make the Van Gogh!"

Vincent Van Gogh had a really large family. Here's a listing of some of the lesser known relatives:

* The really obnoxious brother - Please Gogh
* The brother who ate prunes - Gotta Gogh
* His dizzy aunt - Verti Gogh
* An aunt who taught positive thinking - Wayto Gogh
* And his magician uncle - Wherediddy Gogh

 

 

See my post 9339 below for some more to go on!

I got a new pair of gloves today,

but they're both 'lefts' which,

on the one hand, is great,

but on the other,

it's just not right.

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer yesterday.

I don't know what he laced them with,

but I've been tripping all day.

Thieves had broken into my house yesterday.

They stole everything in the house except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant.

Dirty Bastards.

 

 

But at least I can wash my hands of them (before anyone else says it!)

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple.

It only had limited memory. 

Just one byte.

And then everything crashed.

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball!

Here are some more Gogh to go on;

 

His Obnoxious brother: Please Gogh.
His Convenience-Store-Owner cousin: Stop'n'Gogh
His Constipated uncle: Can't Gogh
The Ballroom dancer aunt: Tan Gogh
His Nephew psychoanalyst: E Gogh
His Fruit Loving cousin: Man Gogh
His sister who loves disco: Go Gogh
His bouncy little Nephew: Poe Gogh.