Pretty self explanatory signs for the Ladies and Gents (not necessarily in that order)...

A policeman was interrogating 3 guys who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guys a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."

 

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

 

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?

He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

 

The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.

"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.

 

"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

Even at that time...

God said

“Adam, I want you to do something for Me”

Adam said, “Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do ?” 

 

God said, “Go down into that valley” 

Adam said, “What’s a valley ?” 

God explained it to him.

 

Then God said

“Cross the River."

Adam said, “What’s a river ?" 

God explained that to him, and then said, 

 

“Go over to the hill …” 

Adam said, “What is a hill ?” 

So, God explained to Adam what a hill was

He told Adam, “On the other side of the hill you will find a cave” 

Adam said, ‘What’s a cave ?' 

 

After God explained, He said, “In the cave you will find a woman” 

Adam said, “What’s a woman ?'   So God explained that to him, too

 

Then, God said, ‘I want you to reproduce"

Adam said, “How do I do that ?” 

 

God first said (under His breath), “Geez …” 

And then, just like everything else, 
God explained that to Adam, as well

 

So, Adam goes down into the valley, across the river, and over the hill, 

into the cave, and finds the woman

 

In about five minutes, he was back

God, His patience wearing thin, said angrily, “What is it now ?” 

 

And Adam said…

 *

“What's a Headache ?"

 

 

"Never give up, because when you think it's all over, is the moment where everything starts." (Jim Morrison) 

 

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Being abducted may be better than first thought

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Britain's former fattest man who once tipped the scales at 65 stone has died aged 52......no <deleted>...and the world keeps turning!!