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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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20 hours ago, roo860 said:

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Just remembered the old Canadian joke.  Punch line. We are a lighthouse, your decision.

 

 

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‘I used to play a musical instrument on cruise ships’.

‘Piano ?’

‘No, Cunard...'

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8 minutes ago, roo860 said:

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Other than the BIG slipper, received them all! Very soon I will be rich! Shall apply for the Elite Visa right now!

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"Gilbert O'Sullivan came into my bank the other day"

"What did he want?"

"A loan again, naturally..."

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Boat rental manager over loudspeaker: boat number 81, your two hour rental period is up, please return to the dock.
Boat rental intern to manager: uh, sir, we only have 60 boats.

Boat rental manager over loudspeaker: boat number 18, do you require assistance?

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A farmer came home one day with a new young rooster so the old roster on the farm sat him down for a talk...

“Listen,” he says. “We both know why you’re here. You’re here to be my replacement. But here’s the thing. When the new rooster gets here, the old one gets eaten. And frankly I think I deserve better than that. So I propose a contest to determine who will be the rooster around here. A 5 lap race around the barn. Now admittedly, you’re much younger than me so I’d request a half a lap head start. Loser bows out gracefully and leaves so nobody gets eaten. What do you say?”

Well the young rooster was quite confident he could take the old man and it seemed a fair proposal. So he accepted. As the race started, all the lady chickens gathered round to watch. The old rooster starts running in a furry. After a half a lap, the young rooster follows. They were both running with all the energy they could muster but the young rooster was steadily gaining on his elderly adversary. And after 4 laps, he was right at his heels, ready to overtake him when suddenly...

“BOOOOOOOM!!!!” And the young rooster fell over, shot dead.

To the side stood the farmer with his shotgun. “God durn. That’s the 3rd gay rooster I’ve bought this month!”

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You  look so much... 

May be a cartoon of text that says 'YOU Look So MUCH THINNER! THANKS! IHAD My APPENDIX REMOVED... ©10o9 15& -'

 

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I'm afraid we...

May be a cartoon of text

 

 

 

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I told my friend that I’ve always fancied Beyoncé.

He said; “Whatever floats your boat”

I replied “No - that’s buoyancy”

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