I used to be in a minimalist band called ‘The Palindromes’.

Our first single was “If I Had A Hi Fi”.

 

I know it's a long shot but does anyone have a trebuchet I can borrow?

4 hours ago, Hamus Yaigh said:

I know it's a long shot but does anyone have a trebuchet I can borrow?

 

I will leave no stone unturned to find one for you, although the strings and arrows of history may be against me!

4 hours ago, Hamus Yaigh said:

I used to be in a minimalist band called ‘The Palindromes’.

 

Our first single was “If I Had A Hi Fi”.

 

 

 

I am sorry but my Aibohphobia deified me to refer you to my madam!

59 minutes ago, fangless said:

I am sorry but my Aibohphobia deified me to refer you to my madam!

You sound just like the Nauruan who had to repaper his racecar redder because the rotator was a dud.

Hopeless romantic...

 

Superglue is not a toy...

 

A senior citizen drove his brand new Mercedes to 100 mph, looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him

He floored it to 140, then 150, ... then 170, ...

 

Suddenly he thought, "I'm too old for this nonsense !" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him .

The officer walked up to him, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in ten minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a good reason that I've never heard before for why you were speeding. I'll let you go."

The Man looked very seriously at the police man, and replied 

 

"Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman, I thought you were bringing her back." !!!

The Cop left saying, " Have a good day, Sir"

Monty Python about the pandemic

 

 

Vaccinated Germans eager to visit Thailand for their summer holidays

 

 

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.”

“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”

My wife asked me to go out and buy something that would make her look nice.

I came back with 4 bottles of whisky and a litre of vodka.

My neighbour got burgled and had all his crisps, biscuits and chocolate bars stolen.

Police suspect it was a local snackhead.

A policeman is on foot patrol and sees some guy dancing down the street while naked.
He radios it in and the sergeant says "copy that"
The PC replies "ok, but I'm not much of a dancer".