2 hours ago, WorriedNoodle said:

or Spanish!!

 

*PS;  It was a combined French and Spanish Fleet that Nelson and his comrades destroyed

2 minutes ago, ravip said:

Will she get her just desserts?

Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely.

So, God asked him, 'What's wrong with you?'

Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.

God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.

He said, 'This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you.
She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement.
She will praise you!
She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them.
She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.'

Adam asked God, 'What will a woman like this cost?'

God replied, 'An arm and a leg.'

Then Adam asked, 'What can I get for a rib?'

Of course the rest is history............!!!!
 

 

6 hours ago, ravip said:

Just attracting the flies away from the table.

On 10/22/2021 at 10:42 AM, ballpoint said:

I have no objection to people being spontaneous,
I just think there is a time and a place for it.

I think it's called the spark of life. and I believe  it has many timeless matches!

An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with the warning:

‘Don’t try these techniques at home.’ 
 ‘Why not?’ asked a member of the audience. 
 ‘I watched my wife’s routine at breakfast for twenty-two years,’ he explained.

‘She made up to ten trips between the fridge, the cooker, the toaster and the table, almost always carrying just a single item at a time. One day I told her: “You’re wasting too much time. Why don’t you try carrying several things at once?” 
 ‘And did it save time?’ asked the man in the audience, 
 ‘Yes it did,’ replied the expert.

 

‘It used to take her twenty minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in ten.’ 
 

One day a little girl was watching her mother prepare roast beef. The mother cut off the ends, wrapped it in string, seasoned it, and placed it in the roasting tin. The girl asked her mother why she always cut off the ends of the roast. She replied that she didn’t really know why - but it was the way her mother had done it. 

 That night, grandma came to dinner and the little girl and her mother asked her why she had always cut the ends off the roast before putting it in the oven. Grandma replied that she didn’t know why - but that was the way her mother had done it. 

 Great grandmother was very old and confined to a nursing home. But the next time the little girl, her mother and her grandma "went to visit, they asked her the same question. ‘Why did you cut the ends off the roast before cooking?’ 

 Great grandmother looked at them in surprise and explained simply:

‘We were poor and had a small oven in those days. I cut off the ends so the roast would fit.’ 
 

 Teacher: Johnny, why weren’t you at school yesterday? 
 Johnny: Our cow was on heat, so I had to take her to the bull. 
 Teacher: I’m sure your father could have done that. 
 Johnny: No, it has to be the bull. 
 

Employee; "Look I know you are the son of the owner of this elevator company and I must inform you that there is a load of corruption in this company and it goes all the way to the top."
Boss's Son;  "If I tell my dad about it there is only one way for both of us and it is the way down"