Who did monster take out on a Halloween date?
His ghoul-friend 
 

 What do you call |.a monster who eats too fast?
A gobbling’ goblin!

The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

'Breast-fed,' she replied.

'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.

She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said,

'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'

'I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came.'

 

3 hours ago, roo860 said:

I knew it wasn't a bad thing.

The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister of Sweden.
The first thing he'll do is to assemble his cabinet.

A WW2 pilot visited a girls school.
He was talking to the pupils about his time in the battle, and he said, “I was flying in formation when three f*ers came up behind me”.

 

The teacher quickly interjects, “young ladies, you must understand the ‘Fokker’ is a type of German aeroplane”.

 

The pilot replies, “yes, but these f*ers were flying Messerschmidts”.

15 minutes ago, ravip said:

The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister of Sweden.
The first thing he'll do is to assemble his cabinet.

I do not believe that; I am sure he will ask the citizens to assemble the cabinet.

2 hours ago, ravip said:

The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister of Sweden.
The first thing he'll do is to assemble his cabinet.

I hope they will all be top drawer material and mind their table manners!