Thai lady / girlfriend, is she? maybe?

[catman20]

10 hours ago, madmen said:

you really want a relationship with a prostitute? lying is there business, its how they juggle 10 boyfriends at once.

 

Your way out of your depth. Find a nice girl that doesn't suck D^^^k for a living is a good start. 

great post,blunt and honest, just how i like um.

[bkk6060]

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

 

I only pay 10,000bht for a month with my gf.

Only?  Seems like a lot about 1/3 your monthly expenses I believe according to your previous posts....

 

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

You think she doesn't get 50% of the barfine?

Or she didn't just tell the bar she was off for a week, and kept it all?

It doesn't work that way to avoid that scam.

Any days off they take even possibly if she is sick, she has to pay the barfines.  Can't just leave for a week and pay nothing.

 

[connda]

10 hours ago, Jack19290 said:

Some harsh replies. I'm new so don't know how to comment like you done but I'll do my best.

 

I met her in a club, not the bar she works at.

 

She is 24 and I am 27, we are similar of age and I am not bad looking might I just say lol

 

I mean it sounds like she was there only 23 days due to the messages and fb and she showed me her flight ticket. 

 

I never look at people's message I just wanted to see her phone and check her messages to see if she really did come 23 days ago to phuket.

 

She hated the air con in my room, we never had it on. Long game? You could be right, most likely are right. When we went clubbing her drinks were free and she use to pay her own motorbike taxi to go home to get changed and stuff.

 

When we face time I can see the whole room, I mean if the guys there he would have to go out of his way to hide like a idiot, would you do that?

 

What happens if she still doesn't ask for money after 10 or 30 days? I mean I won't send her none anyway. Let's give an example she doesn't ask for money and if she does I don't send none but we still chat and have fun.

 

So what is this?

Take some advice from a guy 40 years older than you who has been throughout Southeast Asia over the last few decades and has pretty much seen it all:  Young man - you're being played.  It won't end well.  But as they say in Thailand: "Up to you."  Don't show up a year or so from now whining.  But saying that may be little more than a challenge.  So we're back to "Up to you."  You've been warned.  

[Spidey]

1 hour ago, Vacuum said:

I don't think so, of course I could be wrong about this.

Standard practice.

[RichardColeman]

11 hours ago, Jack19290 said:

they paid her 6,000 baht for the night.

So, she works in a small bar and gets 6,000 a night ? Boys are you being scammed !

[bluesofa]

4 minutes ago, RichardColeman said:

So, she works in a small bar and gets 6,000 a night ? Boys are you being scammed !

Have they got a job for an ageing ferang  - I'd work for half price too.

[Just Weird]

8 hours ago, RJRS1301 said:

I find it amusing that so many here seem to have utilised the services of bar girls, but show so little respect for their professionalism, and decry the person while utilising the services. 

That's Thaivisa hypocrisy for you!

[catman20]

9 hours ago, luckyluke said:

You like her? You want to be with her? 

 

If yes, do it. 

 

She may like you as well, but maybe has financial obligations to a third party but don't want to involve you or not yet.

 

Up to you to eventually help her financially, and up to you to decide what amount you eventually want to spend on her. 

 

Good luck with your decision. 

 

By the way I am married 19 years with a lady who occasionally worked in a bar because of a financial problem I helped her solved. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

a more fair and honest post, well done mate. most TV members wives are university educated company owners  or so they would have you believe.

[elgenon]

Is she able to qualify for a visa? Otherwise doesn't need a passport. Would you want her to live in your country with you?

 

You said you partied all night (it sounded like at her bar) but didn't buy her a drink?

 

if you like her, take it slooooow.

[Bugsy777]

9 hours ago, Jack19290 said:

A few answer here, thanks everyone. I'll answer as best as I can.

 

I told her I will return in 2 years time. The apporch thing, how to explain, I'm a good dancer, I danced my way over to her and she is also a good dancer so we bounced off each other. 

 

She didn't ask me any of those questions and still hasn't to be honest. Actually she did ask how long I was on holiday for which was 6 days remaining.

 

At 63 if you can hang from a fire escape you are welcome to the girl lol 

 

She is not sexy, she is average and cute I suppose, there are a whole lot more sexy girls than her.

 

I don't care what people think, I just wanted to make sure I'm not being played. Which I think nobody is to sure yet as this is a weird situation. I do make good money but don't want to send it over there because then it will be like I'm paying for someone's company and I do not do that, don't need to lol

 

Everyone is human, prostitute or not, everyone deserves a good life and yes I would introduce a prostitute to my family as long as she no longer is, everyone's life is hard so reason to belittle anyone.

I personally know 2 guys living in Australia who met their current wifes in a bar.  One in Pattaya and one in Phuket. No question, these ladies were prostitutes. One couple has been together for 11 years and have 2 children and the other have been together 7 years and have one child. So far all seems well. I've been visiting Thailand regularly for nearly 20 years and I guess the success rate with bar girls is less than with others. The problem for you is falling in love and then finding out that she is just out for your money. Painful lesson for many blokes whether in Thailand or anywhere. Also, good Thai girls don't hang around bars but just because she does, doesn't mean that she is necessarily bad.

 

If you intend maintaining this relationship then you need to keep your wits about you and don't let the hairy lassoo tie you up. At some point, you will begin to trust her. So all I can say is this. A crocodile will watch you come down to the river many, many times before it strikes.

[bkk6060]

2 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

I am told, that for about 20,000 baht, one is able to get a deep background check, performed by a detective in Bangkok. Probably worth every baht, if she is someone you are serious enough about, to fly her back to the UK. Though I seriously doubt she will be able to get a visa. 

A guy I know in BKK had some suspicions and gave his gal a new phone.  But, he preload ed it with some apps that he could track which showed all her phone, social media activity.  He dumped her after a week she was a big liar never even told her why.

[bluesofa]

5 minutes ago, elgenon said:

Is she able to qualify for a visa? Otherwise doesn't need a passport. Would you want her to live in your country with you?

 

You said you partied all night (it sounded like at her bar) but didn't buy her a drink?

 

if you like her, take it slooooow.

Just a minor point regarding the passport:

The OP seemed think a Thai passport is valid for ten years. It's actually five years.

[holy cow cm]

No one is going to wait 2 years, and reality is she will get hardened and jilted and in return will give the same to men she sleep live who like her. She is there for money and to find life. Coming from Issan, she probably was a girl in a karoke place there and so it is easy for her to adapt in Phuket. As for Bar girls lying, PLEASE. This is a Thai thing. This is Thai, Thai to friends, Thai to foreigners, Thai to all. Very small percent are on the ball not pulling a big or small story. 

 

If the OP is prepared to try and come back sooner than 2 years (like 2- 3 month) then fine, give it a try. Otherwise it is living in a dream that will turn off within a couple to few months unless you give support. Making the money she said she did, she could be picking the ugly old fat duckling foreigners and biting the bullet for higher pay. Thus wanting to hang around a nice looking young buck is refreshing.

 

Bar girl, karoke girl, flight attendant, waitress, bank teller, what does it matter if one is ok with that. Many of the posters here act as if they are gods gift to woman and holier than mighty than the bar scene, but maybe in a real sense lucky to have a girl, because in Thailand as Thais generally don't care so much about appearance, age or many things. 

 

Lighten up guys.

 

 

[sawadee1947]

11 hours ago, Jack19290 said:

It's been 5 days now.

What do you think she's doing? 

Earning money. In my eyes she"s one of those poor girls from Isaan, ending up as a prostitute (yes, she is).

It's up to you mate, but she should learn English. I bet she will speak much better in some months because of experience in any way.

[OneMoreFarang]

11 hours ago, Jack19290 said:

So please help me, what do I do with this girl?

It seems you don't want to spend any money and you don't want to have sex with her.

And I don't know if you want or not, you can't communicate with her because you don't have a common language.

So what exactly is the attraction and what do YOU want with her? You should know, not we!

[bkk6060]

5 minutes ago, sawadee1947 said:

What do you think she's doing? 

Earning money. In my eyes she"s one of those poor girls from Isaan, ending up as a prostitute (yes, she is).

It's up to you mate, but she should learn English. I bet she will speak much better in some months because of experience in any way.

That is interesting and very true how quickly they learn English in the bars.  The more customers the quicker they learn. ????

[warrima]

1 hour ago, NanLaew said:

Regular or chocolate?

Regular mate, a'int made a money. Which is a good point - op said her previous clients paid her 6k for a roll around. Is she Japanese spec or what?

[chrisinth]

10 hours ago, Jack19290 said:

I told her I will return in 2 years time.

You are being very optimistic if you think for one moment that the girl is going to wait for you for 2 years. That is life, truth.

 

Especially if you take the general advice of the forum and not sending her money.

 

You have met the girl for one holiday; please don't let your ego get in the way of facts, just because you think you are good looking and can dance a bit you can keep a girl, bar girl at that, interested for two years.

 

I think the underside of the bridge is a bit lonely at the minute.....................

[AlexRich]

1 hour ago, connda said:

Thailand has ample women who are working professionals, but not bar girls and prostitute working professionals.  Working professional like mid-level managers, teachers, nurses, retail shop owners (not massage and bars). Once these gals are over 30 they are pretty much past their 'freshness date' for most Thai men.  So there are a whole lot of single gals out there looking for a relationship. Try meeting women in places like language schools.  You both will have something in common: attempting to learn the other's language.  Forget the bar girl.  I guarantee she's milking a stable of other farang suckers.  Don't join that club.  Be smart.

 

Good advice ... only a very small percentage of Thai ladies involved in that game ... problem is the reputational damage ... them not wanting to be thought of as a bar girl.

 

 

[scorecard]

20 minutes ago, bkk6060 said:

That is interesting and very true how quickly they learn English in the bars.  The more customers the quicker they learn. ????

Some truth in this point but it's far from the key points involved in the post from the OP.

[Asawak]

"I don't care what people think, I just wanted to make sure I'm not being played. Which I think nobody is to sure yet as this is a weird situation. I do make good money but don't want to send it over there because then it will be like I'm paying for someone's company and I do not do that, don't need to lol

 

Everyone is human, prostitute or not, everyone deserves a good life and yes I would introduce a prostitute to my family as long as she no longer is, everyone's life is hard so reason to belittle anyone."

Jack, I lived in in Phuket, Pattaya for over six years. during that time I heard similar stories xxxx times. Girls who have been proud with three or more boyfriends form abroad, working in a restaurant, one day for free before their lover arrived and so on. In my experience, ninety percent of Thai ladies lie and the same applies to the foreigners.
BUT I like your attitude towards this girl and that's why I'm responding to your post. As I mentioned above,  there are a few percent left in favor of both of you. Even if it would not work out, I still believe that it will be a precious experience for both of you.
Maybe you could ask yourself if you are willing, ready to have this experience or not without focusing too much on the outcome. I believe that every person that you meet has some kind of meaning for you. And I'm guessing that from what you wrote that this girl has touched you in some way.
If you decide to go on then from a practical point of view, it's not about money, but you cannot leave any person for two years in a war and then come back and expect to meet the same person again. She and you will have changed. During this time this girl will get hurt a lot and will have many scars. Maybe the scars will heal, maybe not. Therefore the time frame for the next time you can be together, seems (just from my experience) to be the most important task.
Wishing you that you will find the answer in your heart ????

•  8

[Jack19290]

I'm opening post just to say ????

 

To many posts, which I appreciate, I am reading through them all.

 

I am not smitten or in love. I just like her a little. I am not full of myself, if I earn good money and i am a good dancer and i think I am good looking, should I lie and say I'm fat and ugly? Doesn't make sense what you want me to say here?

 

She lives on her own, very small room. She earns 8,000 baht a month salary plus any lady drinks and ofcourse if she sleeps with other men, which she says she doesn't.

 

I have only sent her 1,000 baht which was for her passport, I haven't sent her any other money.

 

We went to the bar and paid the 6 days fine in one go.

 

I am not a cheap Charlie, she didn't ask for money so i didn't provide.

 

I asked her a few times why she came with me for free and still hasn't asked for money and she said I would never ask for money from you.

 

She has 2 customers before me, who both paid her 6,000 baht and I even FaceTimed one of them who was from America. From her phone, it was a funny story he was in love with her, but she blocked and deleted him she also had messages from other guys asking for her to go hotel for 2/3/4,000 baht but she replied refusing to go and blocked most men I suppose after lady drinks lol

 

I am not going back in 2 years, sorry if everyone misunderstood me, i just told her that for the sake of it. To see how she will be around me. I am actually going back for 1 week in 2 months time.

 

Sorry if I couldn't reply to everyone.

[BritManToo]

Just now, Jack19290 said:

I am not smitten or in love. I just like her a little. I am not full of myself, if I earn good money and i am a good dancer and i think I am good looking, should I lie and say I'm fat and ugly? Doesn't make sense what you want me to say here?

 

Dear Jack,

I'm old, fat, ugly, can't dance and have an awful personality, I'm betting I could bang her for less than 2,000bht.

PM me her name, photo and the bar she works in ...... if you dare.

[JaiLai]

Dear Jack,
I'm old, fat, ugly, can't dance and have an awful personality, I'm betting I could bang her for less than 2,000bht.
PM me her name, photo and the bar she works in ...... if you dare.

You forgot to mention poor.


Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[BritManToo]

8 minutes ago, JaiLai said:

You forgot to mention poor.

Poor is a relative concept,

To a retired American with an income of 120kbht/month, my 60kbht/month is poor.

To all the middle class Thai professionals living around me in CM, I'm relatively wealthy.

Especially as I don't have to waste any part of my week working for that money.

 

I'm thinking I have more than Jack, and not just a week of memories of a Thai beach to last the rest of my life.

[JaiLai]

4 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Poor is a relative concept,

To an American with an income of 120kbht/month, my 60kbht/month is poor.

To all the middle class Thai professionals living around me in CM, I'm relatively wealthy.

Especially as I don't have to waste any part of my week working for that money.

 

I'm thinking I have more than Jack, and not just a week of memories of a Thai beach to last the rest of my life.

I think if you learn to dance you might have a shot with her....

 

Good luck!

[Jack19290]

Britmatoo, I accept your offer, I have private messaged you.

 

My salary is more than your retirement income. Yes I am 27 and have a very good job which I have been in for 9 years.

 

I speak 3 languages and i am learning my 4th which is thai. I do salsa dancing and hip hop dancing.

 

I'm just saying, not boasting or anything, I am humble to be honest. I am just telling everyone my situation to understand me better as a person.

[Nyezhov]

11 hours ago, brokenbone said:

plenty of girls here are loaded with cash,

no reason for anyone below 55 to deal with the lowest class

You know, however rude that statement might be, its the truth. If you are a younger, classy guy with some money, a job, goals etc, you could snag yourself a relatively modern hot educated Thai gf with a job leading to marraige and children and lucky you. No need for you to get hooked up with a 3rd grade educated girl who has seen more Zucchini than the produce manager at Big C in Udon and who already has popped out a nipple biter or two....

 

Old geezers like me...we take what we can get. If I am 70 and my wife is 40, speaks English like a Snipe off the USS John A Badass, and spent 20 years of her life getting pounded by strangers, its ok. nobody else wants either of us so hey......

 

[sanemax]

21 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Dear Jack,

I'm old, fat, ugly, can't dance and have an awful personality, I'm betting I could bang her for less than 2,000bht.

PM me her name, photo and the bar she works in ...... if you dare.

The ball is in your court , an offer has been made .

Will you accept the offer ?

What are the bet conditions and how much ? 

[Nyezhov]

25 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Dear Jack,

I'm old, fat, ugly, can't dance and have an awful personality, I'm betting I could bang her for less than 2,000bht.

PM me her name, photo and the bar she works in ...... if you dare.

I could get some for 1500, Im not a curmudgeon like you.