Mia Farang

[villagefarang]

11 hours ago, mstevens said:

The term mia farang dates back to the GI days, or at least so I was once told. I don't know how the term was considered way back then but in years following it is my understanding is that it is generally a less than polite, and almost derogotary term back then. It didn't just mean that the Thai lady had married a foreigner, the perception was that they had met in a bar where she was available for money. At least that's how the term was once explained to me.

There can be a prostitution inference, even today, but more broadly it references behavior, appearance, manners and language.

[Tomahawk21]

On 4/6/2019 at 11:46 AM, CharlieH said:

The main comment from my wife was she objected to some people who immediately thought of her as someone who must have worked in a bar ! 

I think it is assumed (obviously wrong) in rural areas that this is the only way women could have met a Farang.

As I dont drink and dont frequent bars that in reality would have been highly unlikely.

 

But, as she says "up to them".

i think 20 years ago it was more likely Thai women would only meet farangs in bars but i think the last 10 years dating Webb sites are a very popular way of meeting farangs.

[shy coconut]

22 hours ago, Kinnock said:

My understanding is that it"s a phrase used by jealous friends who havn't managed to catch a decent Ferang husband yet.

 

My wife often jokes about 'looking like a Mia Felang today' when she looks at herself in the mirror just before we go out.

 

She means expensively dressed, nice watch, phone, etc.  When she bought herself a new car last year I heard say to the sales lady that she "really looks like Mia Ferang now" and they both laughed.

 

She's also joked that sometimes she looks like 'Mia Chow' when she's wearing short-shorts or a tight top.

 

Of course if your wife is the mythical Chinese-Thai business guru with her own yacht, a PhD and super rich parents, then she may see it as an insult, and at the other end of the spectrum if the Ferang is a penniless 'teacher' in an egg-stained Chang wife-beater vest and flip flops, then it may also be meant as derogatory term - but for most of us in the middle, with wives from a normal family and who have a normal job, it's a form of back-handed compliment from friends who are struggling financially and deeply in debt like 99% of the Thai population these days.

I love the guys who boast about their hiso wives, ivy League educated no doubt!

 

They get so much mental stimulation from their partners, yet feel the need to come

here daily to tell us what wonderful lives/ wives they have.

[totally thaied up]

5 hours ago, Longcut said:

All anyone ever says to my wife is, "how can I get a Farang husband too".

About 90% of my wife’s friends say the same thing.

 

I prefer Thai women that want nothing to do with foreigners. My wife was a hard nut to crack. She only wanted to at the start to talk to me via Line to practice her English skills after we met at a market. It took months of chatting before she would consider going out for a meal with me. She was not interested in farangs.

 

My wife says Mia Farang can be derogatory depending on tone used. It can be suggested behind your back you come from a bar. My wife dresses and looks like a Ban Nok 95% of the time and people in fact look down at her due to this but she is well educated but has the sense, not to care. Then when they see her with me, I have seen 180 degree turns from people that do not want to talk to her. That sickens me because in general, I know what they want.

 

My wife tells me she rarely hears the word and when she does, it means nothing to her as it is true she is married to a farang and knows where she comes from. My wife is like I say, happy to be a Ban Nok and we are both happy with our place in life.

Edited April 7, 2019 by totally thaied up

[richard_smith237]

10 hours ago, rumak said:

there is a "pecking order" in every society on earth.  to quote you "that is just the way it is. "  I never changed myself or chose someone else based on that pecking order.  The way I live my life and how I choose my friends or a companion are based solely on their heart and character.  Much more difficult than just finding people who will increase my standing in the pecking order.  

 

 

Agreed... however, we're much more likely to have more in common with someone of similar socio-economic-educatonal backgrounds from any country and culture including our own. 

 

You may chose your companions based solely on their heart, but we see so many examples of others choosing their companions based solely on their availability to a foreigner whose main attraction is perceived financial security.

[GreasyFingers]

I cannot answer the OP's question tonight. But come Tuesday when we get married I will have to ask her.

[roo860]

Never heard that term before.  Never heard anyone use it within ear shot, although I suspect the small brain retards out in the village probably would.  Closest I heard was years ago when we bought another big water tank in the city.  Miserable looking Thai guy with a fat wife and 2 kids in his beat up pick up truck arrived.  The wife sat in the truck ranting in Thai.  After they left, wife said she was banging on about "See, this is the kind of big house you get if you marry a farang!". 

So now he's looking for a husband?
[emoji6]

Sent from my SM-G920F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[villagefarang]

2 minutes ago, GreasyFingers said:

I cannot answer the OP's question tonight. But come Tuesday when we get married I will have to ask her.

Don't you think it might be appropriate to have a discussion of the pros and cons and expectations of cross-cultural relationships before you get married?????

[villagefarang]

1 hour ago, Tomahawk21 said:

i think 20 years ago it was more likely Thai women would only meet farangs in bars but i think the last 10 years dating Webb sites are a very popular way of meeting farangs.

If you said 30 or 40 years ago I would probably agree with you, that it was hard to meet women outside of the prostitution environment.  I knew many girls who would come over to the apartment but didn’t really want to be seen in public with me.  That way they could have a secret life and maintain their good reputation with friends and family.

 

I met my wife 22 years ago so missed out completely on the online hookup scene but as I said earlier I have never really been drawn to women who target Farangs.  I don’t trust any of them.

 

While I can see using the internet for porn I can't get my head around people using it to find love.

Edited April 7, 2019 by villagefarang

[GreasyFingers]

6 minutes ago, villagefarang said:

Don't you think it might be appropriate to have a discussion of the pros and cons and expectations of cross-cultural relationships before you get married?????

My first comment was a bit flippant. This is number 4 (3 farang before) for me and am doing it because it is very important to her in her family and social context. That probably answers your original post. I am lucky that I have found a good one (actually she found me), so if it makes her happy, I am happy as there will not be any difference to our personal relationship as we have been together for 4 years.

[villagefarang]

10 minutes ago, GreasyFingers said:

My first comment was a bit flippant. This is number 4 (3 farang before) for me and am doing it because it is very important to her in her family and social context. That probably answers your original post. I am lucky that I have found a good one (actually she found me), so if it makes her happy, I am happy as there will not be any difference to our personal relationship as we have been together for 4 years.

I am 22 years into my first and last marriage.  If you include my last two years of university I spent 22 years of promiscuity in Bangkok before deciding to change and settle down.  Being married more than once is something I simply would not consider but you seem to be able to take it in stride.  Hope things work out the way you want them to.

[Neeranam]

On 4/6/2019 at 6:11 PM, richard_smith237 said:

It's instantly obvious when looking at my Wife that she is not from a bar or lower socio-economic background (some readers may dislike that phrase, but thats just the way it is here, for the initiated its easy to tell)...

You mean she doesn't have tatooes and doesn't say "same same" or "ba ba bo bo"?

[Neeranam]

26 minutes ago, villagefarang said:

While I can see using the internet for porn I can't get my head around people using it to find love.

Why not?

 

Personally, I find it rather condescending to say this. I know a few couples who met online.

 

 

 

I met a girl in 2000 on yahoo chat.

She was beautiful, rich, drove a red plate BMW, owned a few shops. 

We had great sex but in the end it didn't work out due to the difference in social ladder rungs. If it had worked out, I would care what people said about where we met.

 

[Neeranam]

In 18 years of marriage, I've only heard Mia farang a couple of times. It's not insulting, usually.

My wife likes being called "Mia dek"

 

 

[GreasyFingers]

16 minutes ago, villagefarang said:

I am 22 years into my first and last marriage.  If you include my last two years of university I spent 22 years of promiscuity in Bangkok before deciding to change and settle down.  Being married more than once is something I simply would not consider but you seem to be able to take it in stride.  Hope things work out the way you want them to.

So do I. Number 1 died early and between the current one and her, I have been lucky twice.

[Neeranam]

8 hours ago, BarnicaleBob said:

My wire says that it is a matter of the tone of voice when used.  It can be insulting or just an acknowledgement depending of inflection.

 

Exactly, the same as "farang".

[Lacessit]

My GF/palaya and a good friend of hers, also in a relationship with a farang, refer to each other as "Madam"

I'm sure it's in jest.

My GF gets some jealousy in her village. We both get inquiries from women who want to meet a farang.

Personally, I don't take any notice of the small minds who get toffee-nosed because I am in a relationship with a Thai woman. Their problem, not mine. And I do sometimes detect more than a tinge of envy in Australia from those guys tied down to a woman who long ago lost any appeal.

[Neeranam]

On 4/6/2019 at 6:11 PM, richard_smith237 said:

 

If someone referred to her as Mia-Farang I think she would consider it quite odd.

 

Thus, I don't know if the term Mia-Farang is meant as a slur, but I can guess how its used and by which facet of society. 

 

 

Wrong, this term is used in all levels of society.

Ask your wife instead of making wrong guesses.

 

[Neeranam]

1 hour ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

Agreed... however, we're much more likely to have more in common with someone of similar socio-economic-educatonal backgrounds from any country and culture including our own. 

 

You may chose your companions based solely on their heart, but we see so many examples of others choosing their companions based solely on their availability to a foreigner whose main attraction is perceived financial security.

Wow, do you agree with arranged marriages?

[NanLaew]

6 hours ago, GalaxyMan said:

Mine gets furious when Thais treat her like a bargirl, especially being an educated professional, just because she's with a farang.

I am more curious about the social situation where this bargirl treatment arises and what does this treatment specifically entail.

[Neeranam]

9 hours ago, dotpoom said:

My wife actually just called me while I was in the middle of reading this article. As we were hanging up I asked her if she knows the term... "Mia Farang"..."What" she asked.."Farang wife"?...."Yes", I said...."No,..why"...she asked. "Dunno" I said, somebody is suggesting (I think) that the wife doesn't like it...."WHY"...she belted out..."What wrong with it"?...."Dunno" ...I said...."Bah"...(crazy)...she said....and we hung up.?

Lucky she didn't say, "ting tong"!

[Neeranam]

3 minutes ago, NanLaew said:

I am more curious about the social situation where this bargirl treatment arises and what does this treatment specifically entail.

I'd love to hear that too.

[puchooay]

There is a flip side to this too.

 

It makes me cringe when I hear expats referring to their wife as "Thai wife". She is, quite simply, your wife.

[Neeranam]

On 4/6/2019 at 6:25 PM, Kinnock said:

and at the other end of the spectrum if the Ferang is a penniless 'teacher' in an egg-stained Chang wife-beater vest and flip flops, then it may also be meant as derogatory term

How double dare you. Totally uncalled for insulting teachers like this. 

Teachers are very well respected in Thailand.

[richard_smith237]

22 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

Wrong, this term is used in all levels of society.

Ask your wife instead of making wrong guesses.

 

I would if I was prepared to bother her with the mundane stupidity we discuss on this forum when passing a little time.... 

 

I also suspect I would have heard the term over the past 10 years when out with friends (Thai Couples and Thai-Western couples).

 

Someone suggested tone has an important part to play in the meaning of its use... I kind of agree.

 

[rumak]

1 hour ago, richard_smith237 said:

12 hours ago, rumak said:

there is a "pecking order" in every society on earth.  to quote you "that is just the way it is. "  I never changed myself or chose someone else based on that pecking order.  The way I live my life and how I choose my friends or a companion are based solely on their heart and character.  Much more difficult than just finding people who will increase my standing in the pecking order.  

 

 

Agreed... however, we're much more likely to have more in common with someone of similar socio-economic-educatonal backgrounds from any country and culture including our own. 

 

You may chose your companions based solely on their heart, but we see so many examples of others choosing their companions based solely on their availability to a foreigner whose main attraction is perceived financial security.

I don't know what your getting at .  I simply stated what is important to me.  As for everyone else in the world, including you and the OP who has your back on every comment you make to me (of course, that is how the educated people fight their battles) .... do and think as you wish.  Every post he makes is just a forum to tell us how happy and wise he is.  If that is the company you wish to choose go right ahead.   I stick by my heart AND character preference,  as that can transcend any socio-economic background.    Others here seem to feel the same ,  but i am sure some agree with you as well.  

[richard_smith237]

24 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

1 hour ago, richard_smith237 said:

Agreed... however, we're much more likely to have more in common with someone of similar socio-economic-educatonal backgrounds from any country and culture including our own. 

 

You may chose your companions based solely on their heart, but we see so many examples of others choosing their companions based solely on their availability to a foreigner whose main attraction is perceived financial security.

Wow, do you agree with arranged marriages?

Nope.. you've taken a common sense point out of context and stretched it to the extreme. 

 

I'm happier with someone at a similar level to myself (socially, Economically and educationally)...  The reasons should be obvious... 

 

 

[CharlieH]

Post removed.

 

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[Neeranam]

3 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

Nope.. you've taken a common sense point out of context and stretched it to the extreme. 

 

I'm happier with someone at a similar level to myself (socially, Economically and educationally)...  The reasons should be obvious... 

 

 

I think love is much more important and sexually compatible and the ability to be a good mother.

 

 

[richard_smith237]

 

Such is the spectrum of different opinions and experiences.... 

 

I'm glad there are guys who are prepared to do the humanitarian thing and offer the poor and uneducated an alternative future...

 

Its perhaps heartless that I wouldn't find companionship in someone with whom I was unable to communicate in detail, who had views beyond 'som-tam' and who is financially independent enough not need me for financial security.... but thats just me.