How Many Are “Stuck” Here With No Way Out

[georgegeorgia]

On 8/11/2019 at 3:32 AM, White Christmas13 said:

He was not talking about the US he was talking about the UK and Australia

and yes I made the move back to Australia with nothing in my pocked a few

years back (lost every thing in Thailand) had nothing to come back to, lost all

my super my factory my house in Australia but I guess I believed I could live

and make some money in Thailand yes it was a bad decision but I am not angry

I still go back to Thailand ones or twice a year (I am living on a pension now )

 

Be great to hear more about it, cant you start a thread 

[White Christmas13]

7 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

Be great to hear more about it, cant you start a thread 

Why start a new thread it just gets posters talking again I admit I made a wrong

decision I don't like to bash anybody no Thais or Chinese or Indians nor any

other country I just started building something in Thailand which you don't see

very often unless you driving a truck I made trailers for cars or pickups or any

other vehicles but I did not sell a lot so I gave up and moved back

[dode57k]

On 8/11/2019 at 4:42 AM, soalbundy said:

'Stuck' is a negative view, sounds like imprisoned. I have burnt my bridges knowing full well the consequences but without regrets. Returning would be nigh on impossible but I wouldn't want to anyway.

Agree. I'm married to a Thai and although I still work in the UK I live in Thailand and will become intentionally "stuck" when I retire. By that I mean everything I own in the UK will be sold and I will live in Thailand on my pension. Won't be well off financially, just living on savings and pension but I'd rather be there with a wife who loves me, lovely weather etc etc etc than growing old in the sheithole that is the UK and all that entails.

[Berkshire]

1 hour ago, bwpage3 said:

Americans are pretty much bombarded with the thought that 50 year old's shouldn't be with 20 year old's since the time they are small.

 

You have to seriously ask yourself if Thailand was on the same international pay scale as other first world countries, would the women be so willing to go with a 50+ year old?

 

People get seriously confused when they move to Thailand.

 

50+ year old's with 20 year old's is not normal in most countries throughout the world.

 

Thai women make the sacrifice to have a better quality of life and economic standard.

 

Anyone that thinks they are dating men 30 years their senior for any other reason is delusional.

 

That is why you don't see 50 year old's with 20 year old's in America

If you think you're saying anything that I don't already know, you're mistaken.  Of course it's about the money.  But so what?  Many of us have spent a lifetime working our asses off to ensure a better life in our twilight.  It's time to reap the rewards.

 

But before I let you off the hook with your assumptions about the purity of American values, don't think I don't know how American women are raised.  "Marry above your class."  "Find yourself a good doctor."  "Don't settle for second best."  Etc., etc.  Do you think a hot supermodel like, say, a Kate Upton, would settle for some average Joe?  Come on.  Money talks, Bsht walks.  It's that way all over the world.     

[gk10002000]

17 hours ago, fhickson said:

but your stay in thailand is not going to be at all the same at 62 as it would have been at 51.

 

at some point time becomes more valuable then money, and there always seems to be a next target financially just around the corner.

oh I agree.  One has to be careful about time in one's life.  But I am pretty sure that had I jumped ship at 51 I would have almost nothing now had I stayed in Thailand.  And based on my family history of longevity, (Mom is 90, grand parents and 10 great aunts and uncles all lived to >88) I am content to now at 62 being financially very sound. And along the way, as an engineer I really did enjoy my work.  It is what I was educated and trained to do.  So, all in all, no regrets. 

[gk10002000]

2 hours ago, FredGallaher said:

In my opinion, in the west girls are more interest in looks and how successful the guy is. In the East (including Thailand) girls rank security higher and age isn't that important. Finding a reasonable good looking man 20+ years older might be OK in Thailand but its robbing the cradle in the US. There are 9 years between my wife and I, but she looks younger. People would look, but maybe because jf was she is so beautiful. When we first went to the US, she was 24 and could pass for much younger. Guys would always give her a second look. 

Thai girls are also more feminine that makes them seem prettier. Thais also respect older people, my father was quite taken by my wife and told me so. She never complained that he was an old man, but respectfully called him Dad.

Haha. Being a Palm Beach Florida resident, I chuckle at the different view points sometimes.  In Thailand, older foreign man goes with younger Thai woman.  In Florida or a few other places, an older woman with money tries to get some young buck in tow!

[fhickson]

11 hours ago, Berkshire said:

Condolences regarding your friend.  That's a tough way to go.  But I get your point about women in the USA.  If you're north of 50, it seems no women under 40 will talk to you.  I've got middle aged friends in America who are upper middle class, very well-off, and they're relegated to dating what we would consider very old women...if they're dating at all.  It seems like getting old in America is mostly about waiting to die.  Sure you can have hobbies and recreation and all that.  But there is something about being with young females in Thailand that keeps one energized and vibrant.  For an older single man, being "stuck" in the USA is much worse than being stuck in Thailand.     

would have to agree with you there.

 

the dating scene for me over 50 in the usa was a zero, period.

 

ever been to a middle age singles bar or mingle event around the holidays in a big eastern city in the usa? very depressing places. just awful. suicide awful. one would be lucky to get some action once a year.

Edited August 14, 2019 by fhickson

[elliss]

On 8/11/2019 at 4:08 PM, rhodie said:

If you can, don't burn your bridges back home. Not easy for all, but at least it gives you a chance. Do feel sorry for all that are stuck especially those with kids and don't want to leave them. It's getting harder. 

 

 Plan B,  along with financial back up, is essential for aliens/farlangs in thailand .

       Three score and ten, and i do not know  what the future holds for me in LOS.

      What new hoops , will tomorrow bring.   Good nights sleep,  I wish ...

 

 

Edited August 14, 2019 by elliss

[RoadWarrior371]

5 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

 I think you may be overstating the ease with which a 55 y/o plus foreign male can find a Thai female companion with most of the attributes generally considered to be desirable in a wife or long-term girlfriend.

 

Have you been to Thailand?  ????

[Handsome Gardener]

On ‎8‎/‎10‎/‎2019 at 8:50 PM, RichardColeman said:

My own situation is that I own a property in the UK, it brings in about £1000 a month, I have an early 55 pension that equates to about £630 a month. So about £1630 a month. It's enough to meet marriage 45k requirements and I can transfer a recent annuity for 400k if required. The wife brings in another 12k a month also. Later i'll get the UK state pension also (slightly reduced).

 

I really have little sympathy for people that do not plan their lives adequately enough.  

 

 

So you don't pay tax on that ? I think you should be

 

Also you can look forward to the doormat thumping CGT tax bill should you ever wish to sell it.

 

Keeping a house in the UK makes little financial sense if you are doing it legally

[bwpage3]

5 hours ago, Berkshire said:

If you think you're saying anything that I don't already know, you're mistaken.  Of course it's about the money.  But so what?  Many of us have spent a lifetime working our asses off to ensure a better life in our twilight.  It's time to reap the rewards.

 

But before I let you off the hook with your assumptions about the purity of American values, don't think I don't know how American women are raised.  "Marry above your class."  "Find yourself a good doctor."  "Don't settle for second best."  Etc., etc.  Do you think a hot supermodel like, say, a Kate Upton, would settle for some average Joe?  Come on.  Money talks, Bsht walks.  It's that way all over the world.     

Jessica Alba did.

[Handsome Gardener]

16 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Thailand isn't a 1st world country.

That's why he wrote 'if'

[spidermike007]

21 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

I'm sure that this post will draw a few howls of protest from all the Casanovas and Don Juans out there eager to tell us about their most recent conquests, but, in my humble opinion, I think you may be overstating the ease with which a 55 y/o plus foreign male can find a Thai female companion with most of the attributes generally considered to be desirable in a wife or long-term girlfriend. While finding a younger wife here may still be somewhat easier than for an older guy in the West, when you consider the package of attributes generally viewed to be desirable traits in a spouse by Western men, I think it is misleading to suggest that Thailand is somehow a paradise of romantic opportunity or male domestic bliss. Just one man's opinion.

 

Signed,

Quasimodo

 

I agree that finding a great long term partner here is not easy. At least one that is high functioning, smart, pretty, slim, on the younger side and has a great heart.

 

But for some that is not what they are looking for, nor what they need or desire. I have a good friend in Bangkok. Decent looking. He does have money, so that helps. He gets more action than anyone I know. Never pays a fee. Sure he takes them out. But, he does not spoil anyone. And he has a rolodex of companions.

 

That would be virtually impossible these days, for a non movie star, non centi-millionaire in the US.  

[OJAS]

16 hours ago, Handsome Gardener said:

So you don't pay tax on that ? I think you should be

So where on earth did @RichardColeman say in post #26 that he wasn't paying tax on "that" (whatever you mean by "that")?

[Berkshire]

23 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

I'm sure that this post will draw a few howls of protest from all the Casanovas and Don Juans out there eager to tell us about their most recent conquests, but, in my humble opinion, I think you may be overstating the ease with which a 55 y/o plus foreign male can find a Thai female companion with most of the attributes generally considered to be desirable in a wife or long-term girlfriend.

Quasimodo

 

Yo Khun Quasi, it's not all black and white.  Yes, it would be hard to find long term companionship with someone that would fit all the criterion that we dream up.  For example, I knew a guy who wanted a hot young female, no kids, never married, thin, educated, speaks fluent English, dresses classy and enjoys European art and culture.  Needless to say, he had to settle for much less.  But if said 55 y/o simply wants to find temporary companionship with a young hottie, that's pretty darn easy. 

 

Having said that, Thailand appears to be the hub of single mothers.  For guys that don't mind that, there are many young attractive females who would be exceptional long term companions.   

[Handsome Gardener]

2 hours ago, OJAS said:

So where on earth did @RichardColeman say in post #26 that he wasn't paying tax on "that" (whatever you mean by "that")?

'Where on earth' did he say he did ?

 

'that' would be the money he quoted yes ? Wouldn't have thought that one was difficult.

[Handsome Gardener]

3 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

I agree that finding a great long term partner here is not easy. At least one that is high functioning, smart, pretty, slim, on the younger side and has a great heart.

 

In what country would that little shopping list be 'easy' ?

 

That's why the aesthetically challenged are over here trying to find it

[blackcab]

Troll posts have been removed.

[gaviny]

If you have PR in Australia , you are allowed to live away from Australia for 3 of the 5 years with a Resident Return Visa.

As you acknowledge, her visa is not permanent...my wife lived/worked in Oz for 10+yrs, has moved back here permanently now, but used to get a 5yr visa renewal for a minimal fee...now 3-400AUD yearly with the re-apply hoops and bullshit to jump thru, and the rhetoric in oz re immigration now only likely to get harder.
One to remember for everyone bashing the system here...they ain't alone

Sent from my Redmi Note 6 Pro using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[gk10002000]

On 8/13/2019 at 2:48 PM, brokenbone said:

i find it hard to believe 62 can be any more useless then 51,

but it rocks when youre below 40

my first trip i was 47.  I do notice now I am a bit different.  Sure do wish I had gone more when I was in my 40s and stationed and working in the Los Angeles area.  I just had no idea about Thailand.  None of my friends or associates did either.  Boy how different things may have been

[gk10002000]

On 8/13/2019 at 6:03 PM, fhickson said:

your body starts deteriorating much faster as you age. 10 years is a huge difference after 40. when your younger you dont notice it much.

 

apart from the obvious aches and pains and little john issues, also ability to be happy in a new location and mental adaptability. can lead to various hardships and resulting complaining about things as well.

mental is no issue for me.  I have been a bit of a nomad as a contractor in the USA and worked in 17 states as an engineer.  The physical pains are not there yet but my flexibility sure is not the same.  Noticed how it is a bit more challenging to swing that leg up over the seat when taking a motorbike taxi.  Maybe those years of Tae Kwon Do and some joing stiffness is lingering. 

[bwpage3]

On 8/11/2019 at 7:36 PM, BritManToo said:

But Australia has the worst schools in the western world.

My daughter did fine in the Thai government school.

My son's doing fine too.

 

How are the high schools in inner city Detroit?

 

Probably on par with the public schools in Chiang Mai!

[thasoss]

returning to one's homeland after a decade or more away can be difficult not least cos you find the society you originally left has changed as have the people and of course so have you.

 

I returned to australia and felt like a fish out of water.Found the place riddled with drug addicts,selfish people especially baby boomers with a sense of entitlement from the welfare state.Hated the place...nice country if it was devoid of human habitation.

[RoadWarrior371]

58 minutes ago, thasoss said:

 

I returned to australia and felt like a fish out of water.Found the place riddled with drug addicts,selfish people especially baby boomers with a sense of entitlement from the welfare state.Hated the place...nice country if it was devoid of human habitation.

Sounds right after a long stint away.

 

I hear they eat a lot of bacon there. ????

[Nemises]

returning to one's homeland after a decade or more away can be difficult not least cos you find the society you originally left has changed as have the people and of course so have you.
 
I returned to australia and felt like a fish out of water.Found the place riddled with drug addicts,selfish people especially baby boomers with a sense of entitlement from the welfare state.Hated the place...nice country if it was devoid of human habitation.

Where in Aus did you go?

[fhickson]

On 8/15/2019 at 2:20 PM, spidermike007 said:

I agree that finding a great long term partner here is not easy. At least one that is high functioning, smart, pretty, slim, on the younger side and has a great heart.

 

But for some that is not what they are looking for, nor what they need or desire. I have a good friend in Bangkok. Decent looking. He does have money, so that helps. He gets more action than anyone I know. Never pays a fee. Sure he takes them out. But, he does not spoil anyone. And he has a rolodex of companions.

 

That would be virtually impossible these days, for a non movie star, non centi-millionaire in the US.  

maybe he's feeding you a line and there is more going on the you realize (likely)

[spidermike007]

9 hours ago, fhickson said:

maybe he's feeding you a line and there is more going on the you realize (likely)

I know him well. He is a straight shooter. He has just enough bling, is fairly well off, and is decent looking. Also, he has alot of charm, and the kind of rap most of us would envy. So yes, he does get alot of action. I have met a number of these women, and they are typically in a management position at their firms, and are very sharp and high functioning. But, Bangkok is a gold mine, for the guys with talent and the right approach. 

[Ron jeremy]

On August 13, 2019 at 4:23 PM, fhickson said:

but your stay in thailand is not going to be at all the same at 62 as it would have been at 51.

 

at some point time becomes more valuable then money, and there always seems to be a next target financially just around the corner.

It seems like he made the right move, a little older but wealthy, and can do what he wants now, I've seen far too many men come here at a young age to live the dream,most for the gals,  some do okay, but the vast majority don't. Run low on cash, especially now as the currency's have tanked. Waste away drinking all day, eating 40 baht meals at food courts, doing visa runs because they can't afford the $800 k. 

Not so much a dream anymore. 

[Beggar]

33 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

I know him well. He is a straight shooter. He has just enough bling, is fairly well off, and is decent looking. Also, he has alot of charm, and the kind of rap most of us would envy. So yes, he does get alot of action. I have met a number of these women, and they are typically in a management position at their firms, and are very sharp and high functioning. But, Bangkok is a gold mine, for the guys with talent and the right approach. 

At such goldmines you will find many gold diggers. As long as they get their gold they will be happy. 

[fhickson]

5 hours ago, FredGallaher said:

Actually, a young Thai women with a young Thai guy isn't the most desirable situation. Being responsible and taking care of things is not a strong suit of Thai culture. Thailand (Thai) is a matrilineal society where girls are taught they are responsible for mom and dad. Girls remain part of the family after marriage, but authority goes from father in law to son in law. Girls may take the husband's last name but the family is still connected through the mother's side. This is very different than western or Chinese family structures. An older (not too old) man is desirable if they are settled down and prosperous. Many Thai girls don't have the western hang-ups with age difference that we seem to have. However 30 years senior might be too much, but 20 would not raise eyebrows. 

where do all these thai guys go after they sire children and break up with the girlfriend?

 

do they become tuk tuk drivers?