The wife growing older in Thailand ....serious question

[thaibeachlovers]

8 minutes ago, nikmar said:

Funny i shuold come across this thread after this last weekend. 

Let me explain.

Ive been with Mrs Nik, she's 4 years younger than me, for 14 years and things have changed for us. When I first met her, i was just so very attracted to her. we did connect, but for me it was just physical at first. 

Recently, I guess we've had some problems and stresses and her looks have been fading. Not to mention mine, i look in a mirror and wonder just what motivates her to make the first move in bed sometimes. 

So, Friday night, we sat down nd had a little drink or seven, played music and chatted. Turns out she's still the funny, slightly kookie lady I first met on Ko Samet all those years ago and we still connect. It was a great weekend!

I have frequented bars before (to my shame) and I a part of me would love a relationship with a cute young lady, but on a Friday / Saturday night there's no one Id rather spend time with than my wife. Not as hot, but still beautiful on the inside. I feel honoured that she still wants to hold my hand as Im getting older. 

Oh, she's also a great cook, gives great Thai massage and a great Mother to our son. I love her on a much deeper level now and would never change her.

You got lucky. 

I know a couple that married in middle age and for most of their marriage slept in separate rooms. For most, they get married for the wrong reason, and "love" doesn't last. If lucky, become friends, and if not, just inhabit the same house.

[nikmar]

2 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

You got lucky. 

I know a couple that married in middle age and for most of their marriage slept in separate rooms. For most, they get married for the wrong reason, and "love" doesn't last. If lucky, become friends, and if not, just inhabit the same house.

thanks, i do feel lucky but should also mention that, like most people I guess, she does have a dark side. However, that does make things a little more interesting 55. 

[1FinickyOne]

If you care about someone and their well being, looks don't really matter...

 

I know my wife has aged over the last 20 years as have I - - however, when I look at her, I see the young 30 yr old I first met... 

[colinneil]

50 minutes ago, Bundooman said:

Just because he didn't dry the dishes properly?

For that he deserved insane screaming and her poking in Woking with the gardener?

Are you insane? do you have mood swings? Are you unbearable?

Do YOU dry the dishes properly?

 

The poster sounded a nice enough guy to me. You, on the other hand...........................

Having a bad day dear?

The poster you are speaking about, has a very poor opinion of women in general, read some of his posts and then maybe you will understand.

Regarding your comments about me..... Yes i am insane, no i dont have mood swings, i am unbearable all the time.

No i never wash or dry the dishes, too bloody lazy for that.????????

[thaibeachlovers]

7 minutes ago, colinneil said:

The poster you are speaking about, has a very poor opinion of women in general,

Goes both ways.

I worked with thousands of females in my career as a nurse over decades- not many male nurses, even now.

The things that they said about men were not always very nice, to put it politely.

[Skallywag]

1 hour ago, nikmar said:

have frequented bars before (to my shame) and I a part of me would love a relationship with a cute young lady, but on a Friday / Saturday night there's no one Id rather spend time with than my wife.

A bit of a contradiction here Nik 555.  Guess you better keep that "part of you" a secret from your wife.

 

So if you meet a thai lady on Koh Samet and get married that is honorable. (having a son had nothing to do with getting married of course) 

But if you meet a thai lady in a bar and have a relationship but do not marry her it is shameful? 

 

Come on man - give an old punter some respect 555

[nikmar]

4 minutes ago, Skallywag said:

But if you meet a thai lady in a bar and have a relationship but do not marry her it is shameful? 

nothing of the sort Skally, i just feel a touch of guilt from my past bar exploits after meeting my good lady. I listen to the devil on my shoulder over the angel on my other shoulder sometimes. ????

[elcaro]

17 hours ago, colinneil said:

Your lady in the UK was in your words..... Insane mood swings, unbearable..... Well with your attitude towards woman, her behaviour was to be expected.

Dont be to fast to judge. This situation might be exactly where his attitude towards woman was created.

[elcaro]

1 hour ago, Bundooman said:

Just because he didn't dry the dishes properly?

For that he deserved insane screaming and her poking in Woking with the gardener?

Are you insane? do you have mood swings? Are you unbearable?

Do YOU dry the dishes properly?

 

The poster sounded a nice enough guy to me. You, on the other hand...........................

Lol do you not read any of britman2 posts 

[wwest5829]

16 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I only ever got married to have kids.

I've no use for an infertile (or barren) woman.

I'm thinking there are many males here whose ideal would be a sterile orphan. No children to raise, not extended family to support. Well, just a reflection ... no, not applicable in my case.

[emptypockets]

13 hours ago, CartagenaWarlock said:

I did not come to Thailand to marry or to find a life partner. I cherish pure lust and won't take any Poseidon model who looks older than 25. After meeting a 19 -year old model, I wanted to have a baby with her. After a week when she visited me almost every night for hours (for a price of course), I gave her my ATM Visa card to take 20K out for her. 30K was the daily limit of my ATM card that had 3 million BHT balance.  I am not sure she saw my balance or not. But the trick worked and I could make her agree to go to Phuket with me and I impregnated her. Now she lives with me in my Sukumvit Q condo and I promised her to buy her a place to stay, a new car every 10-year, and a stipend of 40K/month for 20-years at least if she carried my child to the the full term. I'm 58 years old. 

Who said romance was dead?

 

Borderline creepy post.

Enjoy it while you can, you are stealing here younger years. She will be gone by the time she is 25, possibly much earlier.

My friend was a 'change of life' baby. All she remembers of her father was some old bloke sitting in the corner. Fair chance you wont see the kid graduate from high school.

[quandow]

Personally, I only rent. I tried ownership and it wasn't my cup of tea. She and I are STILL friends and friends we will always remain.  I've heard in some European countries it's quite acceptable for a man to have a little "strange on the side" as long as it's kept discreet. And isn't that the very definition of a "gick?" I have a friend in Jomtien whose Thai gf tells him she doesn't care if he plays around as long as he wears a raincoat and NEVER brings the gick home.

[holy cow cm]

Yeah age doesn't matter if you got a love thing going and a good companionship going. As long as you are not smothered. she doesn't go batty and you have some freedom to go out and feel like a guy sometimes then turn around and go back home, then life is good. You have to be comfortable with who you are with and yourself. I have no more conquests. 

[TGIR]

18 hours ago, brokenbone said:

for some reason, i always got attracted to woman

roughly my own age, (perhaps -5 years) regardless what stage in life.

but i suspect that is about to change,

as i havnt seen anyone above 50 attractive.

 

anyway imo if you havnt got passion, then you havnt got anything at all,

it would be senseless to live with someone that you havnt got lust for.

goes both ways so i really dont see any point innnit if any partner is 50+

I married a beautiful, slim woman 32 years ago.  Today she is about twenty pounds heavier and our once barely functional sex life is gone......not all her fault because I had Prostate Cancer and am not the man I used to be either.  My love for her has grown over the years so the it now exceeds my desire to have a wife who is younger and more attractive.  I would rather have that than a better sex life.  I can watch porn for that now.  Find a woman who knows how to make you happy and you won't care so much that she got older and is no longer so sexy looking.......and take a good look in the mirror too.  You aren't getting any better looking with age either!

[727Sky]

The Chinese used to have a saying that the proper age for a man and woman is the woman is half the age of the man plus 7 years. So a 30 year old marries a 22 year old.. Traditionally women do not age the same as men

 

Now since the one child policy of China decimated a whole generation of girl babies I would assume they threw that guideline out the window and now grab whatever they can where ever they can.

[pookett]

Seem to have the full spectrum of attitudes towards women on this thread.

I see no problem with any of them as long as both parties, be it short term or otherwise, are on the same page or least fully aware and acceptant of the terms of the relationship.

For my part, wifey is of equal age and we've been together/married for 25 years.

She is now fully menopausal and my health is going through a low patch. We are the best, most understanding support systems for each other. It's at times like these you are reminded of and really appreciate the effort invested by both parties in such a relationship.

Physically neither of us are the Bella donas we once were, though not too shabby either!

[bkk6060]

3 hours ago, kenk24 said:

If you care about someone and their well being, looks don't really matter.

That is a typical comment from a male who gets verbally convinced of this by a deteriorating female partner.

This is not a western country.  It is not necessary to listen to or concur with such nonsense.

Edited September 9, 2019 by bkk6060

[faraday]

4 minutes ago, bkk6060 said:

That is a typical comment from a male who gets verbally convinced of this by a deteriorating female partner.

This is not a western country.  It is not necessary to listen to or concur with such nonsense.

We all get old.

 

People are not a commodity, to be exchanged like a car, for a younger model.

 

I imagine that the majority of us are able to think for ourselves, & don't get "verbally convinced" - but maybe you are being so...?

 

Have a wonderful day.

 

 

 

 

 

[DrPhibes]

The wife is 20yrs younger (married 19yrs, my second marriage), has born me 3 beautiful intelligent children and one for our very close friend and his partner.  Ya , she is getting haggard (4 kids and Titanium implants in the back will do that to you), I'm no spring chicken either.  She often asks me if I need a Mia Noy (Adm Ackbar "It's a trap!"), I lovingly gaze into her eyes and say "Of course not my love"... "It's much cheaper to just rent".  Her "I hate you" slap! Me "no you don't" (Dr Who).

 

I do agree with some of the comments on marriage.  I don't believe I would have re-married if it were not wanting children.  I would have just been boyfriend and girlfriend.  Keeps things fresh knowing the other person can just walk out the door and the nasty aspect of divorce at bay.  I have had clients that lived together for 15 yrs, get married, then divorced 3 yrs later.  Often there are expectations on one persons part or the other of what marriage means.

 

But once you have children, I believe there is a larger responsibility than your marriage.  The kids did not force their appearance on this planet, my wife and I brought them here.  We both have a strong commitment to foster their independence, physical, emotional, and intellectual development so they have the best tools for their future lives no matter how we feel about our marriage.  After they are out of the house (should I live so long), then the wife and I can sit down and say "another year sweetie?".  Most divorces are nasty affairs with hate and greed and revenge (often using the kids as weapons) creating an environment that perm damages themselves and their children.  Some divorces are good, friendly, separations where the kids are kept in loop and the effort is made to reassure the kids that it is not their fault for the split.  Kids are not stupid and will often agree that a relationship that has spiraled to the point of hate should not continue.  We have pointed this out to our teens as they enter their dating years.

 

Some marriages are different, I have two clients that have bi-coastal marriages in the US by choice.  They don't see each other every day, so when they do get together, they make it very special.  Some have arrangements where one or the other gets a pass on the fidelity aspect once in a while (as long as they don't fall in love or bring something home).

 

Why people marry and why they split covers a wide range of human emotions.  Tough to cover it all here in our tiny TV forum.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

[lensta]

18 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I only ever got married to have kids.

I've no use for an infertile (or barren) woman.

Well, an infertile woman is ideal for me as I do not want kids. Different strokes for different folks as the saying goes.

 

I am similar to the poster that wrote that 30 years younger is his standard. For me, it is a straight out business arrangement, I like to have some eye candy on my arm and for that, I give the girl a better standard of living than she currently has.

[FruitPudding]

Well, her looks ain't my problem anymore. 

 

She kinda threw a spanner in the works when she stole my money and sold my cars (to pay her gambling debt), then gave me Syphilis.

 

She must have known her physical lifespan was almost up and just went for it.

 

Single for life, babey!

[BritManToo]

3 hours ago, kenk24 said:

If you care about someone and their well being, looks don't really matter...

 

I know my wife has aged over the last 20 years as have I - - however, when I look at her, I see the young 30 yr old I first met... 

If they really cared about you they'd take care of their looks.

Nobody has to be fat and shapeless, it's a personal choice.

Edited September 9, 2019 by BritManToo

[1FinickyOne]

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

If they really cared about you they'd take care of their looks.

Nobody has to be fat and shapeless, it's a personal choice.

Yeah, sorry, my wife is neither fat nor shapeless... she has gone from 42 to 44 kgs in 20 years... I have gained much more than that but it is not because I don't care about my wife... her face does look older, because she is older - not from lack of moisturizer... as I look older too... and I would guess you might have aged in the last 20 years as well, though your maturity level is left in the dust of yrs gone by... 

 

I actually like her as a person... though she is not by any means perfect. 

[Opl]

30 minutes ago, lensta said:

Well, an infertile woman is ideal for me as I do not want kids. Different strokes for different folks as the saying goes.

 

I am similar to the poster that wrote that 30 years younger is his standard. For me, it is a straight out business arrangement, I like to have some eye candy on my arm and for that, I give the girl a better standard of living than she currently has.

[Kinnock]

I admit that for me her looks are part of the equation - but she's still super-hot at 40, and her Mother looks OK too - so her durability should be good) and as I'm older than her I'll be past caring if she gets a little patina on her bodywork in a few years.

 

But of almost equal importance (call me shallow, but I'm a man)  is that she's been an absolute gem for the past 10 years, and for last few years she's been actively planning for when I retire.  

 

Some cynics may joke about her 'real plans' etc, but after 10 years together I think it's unlikely she'll undergo a massive change of character.

 

I know I'm not alone in finding a Thai girl with strong, natural caring instincts, as I know people who've been in loving, caring relationships for 30 years plus.

[Opl]

1 hour ago, bkk6060 said:

That is a typical comment from a male who gets verbally convinced of this by a deteriorating female partner.

This is not a western country.  It is not necessary to listen to or concur with such nonsense.

[1FinickyOne]

1 hour ago, bkk6060 said:

That is a typical comment from a male who gets verbally convinced of this by a deteriorating female partner.

This is not a western country.  It is not necessary to listen to or concur with such nonsense.

 

1 hour ago, bkk6060 said:

That is a typical comment from a male who gets verbally convinced of this by a deteriorating female partner.

Not really a topic ever discussed... by my "deteriorating female partner" - - don't people grow older in your world? 

 

1 hour ago, bkk6060 said:

This is not a western country. 

Wow.. I see you are really insightful! How long after getting off the plane did that take to figure out? 

 

1 hour ago, bkk6060 said:

It is not necessary to listen to or concur with such nonsense.

Your insightfulness is only shadowed by your shallowness... 

[BritManToo]

41 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

as I look older too... and I would guess you might have aged in the last 20 years as well, though your maturity level is left in the dust of yrs gone by... 

When I was aged 40-53 I weighed 95Kg (6' tall) and was a lazy tub of lard.

At 54 I started to exercise a lot, now 10 years later I weigh 76Kg and am covered in hard muscle.

Cycled 20Km this morning then hiked 3Km on a mountain ridge, I try and cycle 25Km/day or hike 6Km/day.

 

While the face has gone downhill, the body is almost perfect.

You are imaging everyone (as you admit) has let themselves go as they get older.

But it's a personal choice.

Edited September 9, 2019 by BritManToo

[1FinickyOne]

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Cycled 20Km this morning then hiked 3Km on a mountain ridge, I try and cycle 25Km/day or hike 6Km/day.

 

While the face has gone downhill, the body is almost perfect.

wow... as you can imagine, I am really impressed... 

[Proboscis]

20 hours ago, Tagged said:

You do not choose who to love, love choose you! So a 30 year younger choosed you, must be true love ????

Your humour must be like your taste in Martinis - very very dry!